Company had me come in for 3 interviews for a position only to give it to someone else and offer me another position at lower pay after saying I got the job

I applied for a Project Manager position at a local chemical company. They seemed highly interested in me and brought me in for 3 interviews.

The third interview I even spoke to the owner of the whole company and that was a positive experience. I was given an email that I was selected and to call the manager of the department before they sent the offer.

I called the manager only to find out bad news. They said they selected someone else but wanted to give me an opportunity working 6am-430 pm at a lower salary.

Needless to say I’m shattered. I just got my degree, have worked for years and was going to finally move up. I am at a loss for words.

If anyone has any kind words or ideas on what to do next is appreciate anything. I have already told everyone I know that I got the job and this was supposed to be a big step forward for me in my life.

Only to find I’m stuck where I’ve always been as a wage slave, It’s been a hard day.

Netizens’ comments

1. Speak to your present HR now, tell them you want to rescind the offer of 2 weeks and if they will accept it. If they do, great-just stay there for at minimum 6 months. If HR doesn’t, start looking for another job ASAP aggressively. Do not take this bait and switch position that this new company offered. You arent the first and definitely not the last.
2. Decline their offer. Let others know that you got bait and switched and the name of the company so that they know not to deal with that company, as an employee or a customer.
3. That is complete disrespect and is only a sign of things to come at this place. I would leave immediately and keep looking for work. You don’t owe them anything at all.

My ex boyfriend (M29) is forcing me to pay back all the money he spent on me (F22) in our relationship

early in out relationship, we would sneak around and have fun and our relationship was pretty much toxic, I have to beg for a little time for him to spend with me or to talk to me…

he was distant and always “busy” and he wrote down every single thing he paid for me or bought me as a gift.

when we broke up he started demanding money back, but it’s just so stupid and he keeps threatening me to sue me, because he has “proof” that he lent me money, but he just wrote down everything he paid (trips, movies, festivals, restaurants, clothes…)

mind that I also paid as well, but never asked for my money back. the money I actually did ask him, I already returned.

Is this stupid behaviour or am I tripping? Who’s in the fault here? Can he sue me for this?

Netizens’ comments

1. Lmao those were gifts and he has no evidence they weren’t. Let him sue and give the judge something to laugh about.
2. He can sue and get laughed out of court
3. Take screenshots of his messages to you so you have proof in the future, but otherwise just block him and ignore him. He’s not going to sue you, and no lawyer would take his case anyway. If he sues you, he’ll lose. Move on and forget this loser.
4. Tell him to go ahead and sue you. He does not have a leg to stand on.
5. Block him on everything. You don’t owe him anything. He won’t sue you he is just doing this to keep the communication open between you. It’s a form of control.
6. These were gifts. Block this dude from contacting you and move on with your life, OP.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We recently successfully applied for a BTO. We are both 25 years old and work in the civil service ( we are in difference sectors).

Recently, we have been talking and he did randomly mention that in the future, probably he could be the one at home looking after the children and house, doing some trading as a source of income, while I would go out and work.

I am not sure if this is feasible as I am doubtful if he stays home all the time, he would become a lazy person (he is a pretty nua person, even during weekends on our dates we would just stay home and lie on the sofa watching shows) and would not be someone who is motivated or have a goal if he does not have a job. I am also unsure if the kind of trading he is talking about is able to help contribute to the family and am concerned about me as a female being the sole breadwinner and providing for the family.

I am not sure if this is a red flag in the relationship, showing that my bf is an unmotivated and lazy guy? Any one out there has similar experiences please do share with me and also all your perspectives.

Here are what netizens think:

If you are not comfortable with this then it’s a red flag. He has already verbalized his potential intentions. Better clear this topic in greater detail with him soon as you can.

If your daughter is seeing such a man and is about to marry him, would you give her your blessing?

He can stay home and care for kids and even nua (if the children needs an wants are all met, which is impossible one) provided, he can bring in around $4k every month through trading. If he can, then just let him stay at home and do trading.

My (35f) husband (44m) is a good man but whenever he does the dishes, folds laundry, or goes to the store, he says I have to “pay” for that with my body (ie blowing him or sleeping with him). If I don’t, he gets all pouty and sulks for a bit.

Example: today we were attending our nephew’s birthday party and we needed to get a gift. I was more than willing to go buy a present but my husband said “I’ll go get it – no worries!” So he goes and comes back and tells me “now you gotta pay up” while grabbing himself.

This isn’t normal, right? I know I’m probably not making things better by just doing it because he gets all bent out of shape if I don’t and I do it to shut him up.

It’s not like we don’t get intimate normally. Like this isn’t the only time he gets some. But I’m tired of him using this as a tactic to just perform basic functions around the house or tasks that needed to be done anyway.

I’m going to clarify a few things (NOTE: I’m not defending or condoning his behavior):

1. I should have been more specific – this does not happen EVERY TIME he does a task/chore. It does happen pretty regularly but I definitely do not help the situation by giving in.
2. THIS IS NOT A TURN ON. To be honest, I’m not really attracted to his advance tactics usually. When we first started dating/got married, yes I was attracted to him but it has gone down in recent years.
3. I recognize this now as coercion. So I will be having a long chat with him, however, he doesn’t respond very well to criticism.

I’m not stupid, people. I just didn’t know how to handle this and I appreciate all the comments and messages reaching out.

I have been becoming more confident and vocal about what I want and expect from him. Granted, it usually turns into a fight because he claims I’m being selfish and dramatic. (Gaslighting, I know) I’m working on a plan – I’m not in the best place financially (we keep our finances separate) so I want to make sure I have that figured out before I get me and my son out. I do know I’m being gaslit – he doesn’t seem to think so. Can someone gaslight you without realizing it? Anyway – I appreciate all of you. Please ask anything. I want to be confident in myself and my decisions. 🙂

I’m seriously considering divorcing my overweight husband.

I know how awful that sounds. Just hear me out. When me and my husband first started dating we were both reasonable weights. Not fat, not skinny, just reasonable. We got along, he was super sweet, would take me out to nice places, super romantic.

We got married 7 years ago. Ever since then it’s been hellish. He got let go from his job after some budget cuts. He started playing online games, and eating out for most meals even though i offered to make him lunches before i left for work but he refused and said it would be too much work for me. We were still good romantically and apart from his slightly worrying gaming addiction, at the time we were fine.

We had our daughter 2 years into our marriage and I had some complications which led to me being unemployed for a bit because i was recovering from a few surgeries. He refused to get a job and said he would rather spend his time gaming and “taking care of our daughter” so we ended up borrowing money from my mother. This hurt because my mother isn’t in that good of a place, financially, and her giving us the money felt like a really low point.

I love my daughter more than anything and I noticed he didn’t seem too care as much as i did and preferred take out and computers more than our child.

5 Years later, I’m employed, he is not, he is now over 250 pounds, i am still at the 160-170 mark. My husband spends more time interacting with his friends online than me and his daughter, my daughter will occasionally go up to him wanting to play, or spend time with her dad, he 9/10 times will brush her off. He hardly leaves his gaming chair, we haven’t been intimate in 2 years because is physically impossible and he gets tired too quick.

I’ve counted, he has only left the house to run errands with me this year 4 times. We never do things as a family, he’s never fully there with me. I feel like a single mother to two kids, one an actual child with curiosity and a desire to do fun things, one with its ass glued to a game console.

I have tried convincing him to diet, he will always go like 3-4 days before i catch him with a takeaway box or an uber order. I’ve tried so hard with him but he never tries. Our relationship feels so one sided and i don’t know how much longer i’ll be able to hold out like this. I don’t want to divorce because i know what it’s like to grow up in a broken home but i also know what it’s like to have a dead beat father and i can’t tell what i should do?

Any advice would be deeply appreciated.

Why are singaporeans unhappy despite having so much?

I find that there are many good things in SG that ppl from other countries would be very envy- safe and secure environment, good healthcare, education and public transport, convenience to get around anywhere, affordable and wide variety of food options etc

Most singaporeans don’t need to worry about when their next meal is coming and access to clean water and shelter.

Nor any conflicts, violent crime in the streets or natural disasters. Most can get a job if they wanted to. There is a wide variety of entertainment options to suit every taste and many can afford at least a short overseas vacation a year.

Even the poorest and most destitute people can receive some help from the community and government. I bet you probably can’t find most of the above in even many developed cities.

Why are Singaporeans generally feeling unhappy when they have so many good things?

Netizens’ comments

1. a few things:
   – you generally don’t miss what you’ve never had. if you haven’t lived (not taken a holiday) in a foreign country, it’ll be hard for you to appreciate the ways in which Singapore stands out globally
   – wealth inequality is increasing, and we tend to compare ourselves to those who are better off. the fact that some of those are politicians gives rise to a perception of unfairness
   – in the past few years, things haven’t been so good, and recency bias is very real
2. Honestly, I think it’s just the high stress nature of Singaporean life. From young you are stressed at school to study and get the best marks so you can go to a good University.
   Then you need to get a good job and save so you can get married and then you need to keep working to support your family etc.
   About the only real time you can relax is when you finally retire and even then, it’s not something a lot of Singaporeans can consider as they still need to worry about their finances.
   You are right, there are a lot of great things about Singapore and I do feel that the younger generation are slowly changing, but let’s not kid ourselves, Singapore is not the place were we can practice, work like balance.
3. The unhappy minority is loud and happy people don’t complain. The loud ones makes you think that people are unhappy. Most of the people in my circle are happy with their lives.
   Sg is a good place, we do have space for improvement but, definitely one of the best place to live in right now in 2023. I won’t wish to live elsewhere considering the amount of global turmoil that’s going on right now.
   With every unhappy sentiment, there’s so much more to be thankful for. The unhappy whiney peeps probably don’t realise they can whine this much because, life is good too.

Cheating wife for eight years

So wife for eight years cheated like 10 times in the 8 years all spread apart but that don’t make any difference. When asked why I get the I don’t know answer.

And when I bring up the subjects or the cheating thing she don’t want to talk about it just move on. How in the world can I do that when I don’t know the reason for cheating like at all

but yet im the one in the wrong. I can’t help but think about all the dudes that f-ed you while we have been married same way same everything.

So am I crazy for not showing love and affection at the moment to see if she is actually sorry and wants to make things better.

Netizens’ comments

1. Kick that ho out the door. Why even bother to stay?
2. At this point, I’m not sure why you’re even with her? Eight times and you still want to be with her. She has no respect for you or marriage, and she firmly believes your incapable of leaving. It’s time for you to immediately seek a divorce.
   She’s betrayed the marriage vow eight times and you obviously are wrecked by this, but seem not to pull the plug.
   You need to to tell everyone on both sides of the family and friends. Also, it’s time for you to be ruthless, do not succumb to her. Ask her to leave the premises, but do not leave yourself, you did not betrayed the marriage.
3. She’s cheating because she wants to and obviously because she can
4. Why are still with her. This someone you not in a relationship with. Period
5. She’s single. You aren’t.
6. Set her free, to the streets.
7. Better question why are you dumb and staying after first time. At a certain point your too pathetic.

Do Singaporeans feel sad?

So apparently due to our nature of being materialistic and being in the rat race all the time, I think some feelings like empty and sympathy are gone due to stepping over people to climb the corporate ladder.

My parents told me it’s a survival of the fittest and I have to step people over and not feel guilty about it.

Sabotage and betrayals are norm and speaking from my dad experience of how he used his best friend to get into particular job and sabotage him for taking the guy position.

And my mom have used some of the people who trusted in her to sabotage and increase her reputation by downplaying her close friends..

When my grandpa passed away, my parents and I didn’t shed a tear even tho I was pretty close to him coz I can’t feel any sadness or emotions related to it. I am prepared to abandon my friends anytime if it benefits me.

So is this normal Singaporean behaviour? Or just me? Do yall experience sadness before?

Netizens’ comments

1. No, it’s not. Your parents are f-ed up. But not crying when an old person dies is common. Because the death did not come as a surprise, the medical bills and levels of care needed were mounting, death was a relief and the expected last step.
2. your family is toxic. its not sinkie nature. its just your family.
3. how you treat others is often how you get treated. if you’re Machiavellian at work no one will trust you and there will be a limit to where you can go or what you can accomplish if you don’t have other people’s engagement. and if you’re an a-hole to your friends you’ll find that you have none when you’re older. and no, it’s not common. there are many decent Singaporeans.
4. What a f-ed up family.
5. I don’t think it’s normal . Your family seems to be very stunted in emotional maturity ? And your parents have unfortunately passed on their toxic traits to you.
   What you mentioned and described is not unheard of (that’s why we hear of toxic backstabbing colleagues and friends… is people like you guys lor, lol)
   But the truth is majority of people around you are NOT like this… as kiasu is our culture, as competitive as it is in SG, most parents still teach their kids to do the right thing. Most of us has normal, healthy, happy relationships and friendships, just like any other similar societies in the world.
   Cmon. I think it’s a good sign that you’re self aware and even asking this question here in the first place..
   OP you need therapy you guys sound f-ed up. There’s still light at the end of the tunnel. Seek help ba.

For people using dating apps, what are the success rates/stories?

i personally myself(F23) have used dating apps(bumble/omi) for quite awhile and have gotten into a few relationships. most of them didn’t end well for me and most are looking for something casual.

just wanted to know everyones’ experiences on the app and if it’s really worth it anymore as i just got out of a toxic situationship from a guy i met on dating app and i am currently emotionally drained to even look for someone new to start all over again.

edit: tldr it ended bc he told me that he felt it was very hard to be seen and heard throughout our whole relationship and wanted me to have social cues whenever he’s upset without him telling me; he’ll have to independently solve his own issues instead and therefore promotes a lack of trust for me to take care of him lol

Netizens’ comments

1. Take a break and reset your emotions before trying again. Usually apps like cmb and hinge have better quality of serious guys. Yes, there are a number of guys who are just looking for casual so it’s important to vet well. I find they tend to get touchy very quickly if they’re looking to hook up. Look at the kind of dates they bring you on and the way the conversation goes. I got burned before as well, so now I always ask “serious” questions by date 2 or 3 so I can more or less gauge how serious they are. I just met my boyfriend from hinge recently, so yes there’s hope.
2. If you’re looking for something serious, try cmb. Higher quality guys too, that’s where I met my fiance in 2018 and this year we got the BTO! I think I’ve met and went on dates with 5-6 guys from the apps before meeting him, so it’s a bit of time and effort, need to read through their bios
   Also 23 is still young, still have lots of time!
3. Met my then-gf in 2018 🙂 on CMB and we are currently married for abit over a year. Had been on CMB for a couple of years, but never really took the initiative to ask girls out as I was still studying back then and wanted to work then start to find a gf.
   She was the first girl I asked out and likewise, I am the first guy she met too in real life as she had just started to try out dating apps. Funny-thing is, we are our both first’s partner as we have never been in a relationship before.
   I only asked another girl out thereafter for a single date but didn’t find the connection as deep as my wife and as I continue to chase her eventually I succeeded and tada!
   So yes, please continue to keep trying!

My boyfriend told me that he approached me first because of my huge bewbs and I feel awful.

We met in school two years ago because we shared a class. He’s a funny and handsome guy and even tho I really love him now, at first I found him kinda annoying because he was always talking loud and making jokes with his friends.

I’ve always been blessed in the chest department and until a few years ago I’d always been ashamed and self-aware of them so I’ve always tried to hide them with big clothes.

I was often getting cat-called or called names because of it and it grew to the point where I begged my parents to help me, I switched schools and things got better for a while, then I got older and started my tertiary education and… nobody cared about them!

Nobody cared about me tho and it was so fantastic and I felt so happy that I took my chance and begun to dress cuter and just allowed myself and my body to exist as I was.

But I want to make sure that I still didn’t wore tight clothes or big cleavages, just… normal clothes I guess?

My experience with guys were bad enough and when my bf first approached me I kept my distance. Eventually we grew closer and begun dating and we’ve been taking it slow, I was happy with him.

If he didn’t had told me I’d had never guessed that he approached me because of that, he did say he found me pretty and since I didn’t talk a lot it pinch his interest. I thought it was cute.

Last Friday we attended a Halloween Party and he had been saying he wanted to see me dressed as Jessica Rabbit, I’m no fool and I knew why, but at this point we’ve been dating for a year, he had seen me without clothes in bed and I really like when he dresses with certain t-shits that show off his arms so I thought ”why not?” and I got a Jessica Rabbit costume.

The party itself was fine, he drank more that he should of so I drove him home.

On the way home he kept complimenting me and trying to touch me like in my arms, my face, my legs, just wanted to have his hands on me.

I told him off a few times and then he just sat there quietly while looking at me. Then he just said when he first approached me he just wanted to sleep with me to see ”how big my bewbs were” and then he just talked about our dates and things like that.

I felt my heart breaking because as I said, I’d never guessed it. I dropped him off, helped him get to his apartment and just tossed him on his bed, he asked if I wanted to spend the night and I said no.

We haven’t really talked since and I don’t know how to approach it, and since then I haven’t really said anything.