I broke my mum’s new(ish) TV out of anger and I regret it

So a bit of backstory:

My mum sometimes gets very mad at me out of the blue for seemingly no reason (eg, saying I’m an embarrassment to the family, that I fake being nice to people, I don’t deserve friends and I deserve every ounce of hate I receive, to name a few), and these tend to happen when she just isn’t in a good mood (I do nothing to provoke her).

Compared to everyone else my age, I’m extremely well behaved, polite, get good grades (Tippically B-A+), don’t drink, smoke or any of that and I always make sure to put others above myself (mostly because of my self esteem), so I’m not sure why she does it.

The main point (FYI, it all happened today):

Well today she was doing it again, and as a reaction (when she left the room) I hit her TV (about 7-8 months old) with the corner of my phone. I didn’t see any damage (as it was turned off) so I assumed It didn’t do any harm.

Later, she went to turn it on and half of the screen was black and covered with cracks and coloured lines. She seemed devastated and quite bummed out about it (obviously) but didn’t go to blame me. Obviously I knew it was me that did it, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.

And to put salt in the wound, shortly after arguing with me for a while, she apologised to me and admitted she was in the wrong (for the first time ever).

Was I in the wrong, or did she have it coming? Any tips on what I could do to apologise would also be appreciated.

Hi I would like to ask is it normal for students to outsource their reports to people online and pay a fee to get it done?

Because recently one of my groupmates told me he outsourced most of his reports as he was too lazy to do them and rather work part-time and use that money to pay for the service, he also said he wants to try to buy an online exam service too if we have exams online again.

Should I discourage him or mind my own business?

Here are what netizens think:

• He is your groupmate right? Meaning there’s a high chance that any grp projects parts that he submitted might had been bought. So if and when your lecturer found out, u knew and didn’t report it, it’s good luck to your grades too.

• Report him. One less job seeker to compete with you when you graduate

• He is smart. Study so hard also useless, NUS cert at the end of the day will still lose to rubbish uni…

• Depending on what you want to achieve. If you want to see how competent you are with thw subject matter, go thru the usual way. If found out to be 1 of the 11, maybe just some delay in your career path. 

• This person is a future boss, you might be working for him one day. Don’t mess it up

• That’s y we do see some graduates went to the company but work very badly. As they are not capable too that particular job.

• Is it normal? Yes and no. There has always been people offering and buying such services. Is it ethical? No.It speaks volumes about your group mate’s integrity. Don’t do business with him in the future.Bring it up with your professor quietly.

I am in my mid twenties, male. I work full time as a Regular in the SAF and it’s been 1 and a half years. I find my work okay, it’s enjoyable at times but work is work, ya know? I signed on very late because I took the longer route of studying. I went to ITE then Poly. In ITE and Poly, I made very few friends.. I am no longer in contact with any of them. I am weird and a screwup, I have been all along. I have done things that deserve their hate tbh. And even after so many years, I have learned to live with those regrets but it still is very hard to do so. I am pretty sure everyone has that one thought of “Only If I had…” or “I”m very sorry to this person”.

I am poor, I am not good looking and my personality is unlikeable. It also doesn’t help that when I try to talk to anyone and their first impression of a Regular is also not good. I am tired of people just looking at me as “someone with a stable job” or some uncle or auntie labelling all of us as “people who can’t study and signed on” or people who do better off than me and say we are “a waste of tax money”. Why can’t people look at each other… At me as an another person and get to understand or at least look at me as a person and not like some number.

I also have been feeling sick to my stomach and just tired because I have been trying for too long to find someone who can also understand me in a relationship. No one ever looks at me just for being me and I may not be a perfect person but deep inside when I ask myself truthfully, I know I’m not a bad person and above all things, I do my best to be accommodating and I have my own pride in my loyalty.

It always comes to who is more better looking, who can provide more, who is a better candidate to introduce to their parents, who has a nicer personality on the surface.. I think no one can deny all this because honestly, all of these are deciding factors that many of you reading consider regardless of gender. I’ve tried making it work out with those I’ve met over and over but I am done with being thrown away like trash. It always ends with “You’re a nice guy but nahhh lollll” or “There’s another guy and you just don’t measure up to the standards I need and I have to make the tough decisions and be real about all this”. I’m not a bad guy to any of them yet I am seen as worse than trash even tho they think it’s exaggerated. But then again, there is a difference between being thrown away like trash as opposed to doing it decently.

I visit escorts just to feel a little less lonely and useless even if they want my company for other reasons. I’ve even started drinking recently. It’s becoming a spiral.. What can I do turn my life around? Pls don’t ridicule, patronize and convince me otherwise of what I’ve typed here.. I would appreciate advice on moving forward and improving myself instead.

I got slapped by a guy my friend introduced to me. To this day, she doesn’t believe me

This happened months ago, but I saw her today and felt a wave of memories take over me… so here we go.

My friend and classmate (whom I had known for years and was my ride or die) said she had this single male friend. He was into the same hobbies as me, plus had a similar career choice as me. Being friends with my bestie turned it all into 3 pros and no cons.

So I accept to meet him at a café and it was overall pretty lovely. He was the epitome of nice guy, no apparent red flags. The date was a perfect balance of communication; no one “hoarded” the conversation nor became obsessed with a single topic. 0 phones, too.

We drink our tea and he treats me to some cake just so we can chat for longer. At this point I was really comfortable with him. My friend was Cupid IRL!

Or so I thought. Cause when the date ended and I went to get on the bus, he insisted on taking me home. I had just moved into that place after leaving my shabby, leaky student dorm so I sadly couldn’t risk it. Let alone after a first date. I calmly rejected his offer and said I was not ready for that just yet. Nothing personal.

And his attitude changed. His smile was gone. His jaw was clenched. Called me a time-waster and said I probably assumed he just wanted to sleep with me.

And you know what? I could’ve argued with him for hours but nope. I was not gonna deal with tantrums.

Thanked him for the cake, said I was gonna take the bus indeed and that I would not be seeing him again.

Everything else was a blur. I don’t know what he yelled at me, but I do know that a few seconds later I had my head to the side, skin stinging and hot to the touch.

He left in his car and I called my friend in tears.

She didn’t believe me. Said I probably provoked him. “He’s so sweet with me, I’m not gonna cut him off!”

I lost a friend over a man that hits girls on the first date.

Hope her internalized misogyny doesn’t ever get her hurt. She doesn’t deserve to be in my position.

I(28F) am single, don’t have kids and live alone. I also do not work OT or do anything beyond my work.

First, let me explain what my work is like: so we are an internal auditing company. I work in the logistics auditing division. What that means is that when a company hires us (mostly to see how good their policies are), we shadow their workers, to see where efficiency can be increased.

Sometimes that means working night shift, delivery, warehouse, manufacturing…etc.

We are very lucky that we have an awesome manager and team leader. Once we divide the tasks, you can do them whenever as long as your report is handed in when it should be. Work from home, from the office, at 3 am, less than 40hrs… It doesn’t matter.

For the 6 years, I have been on this team, another female colleague (30s) has been doing her absolute best to work the least amount possible. First, she is either always pregnant and not “able” to shadow anyone but the office workers, she is on maternity leave (4 months), on her yearly vacation (a month), or conveniently sick when it is time for some heavy-duty work (she sends in MC like it’s free, well it is as the company covers medical).

When she is in the office, she is dumping her work on the others. She uses her kids as an excuse all the time.

Well usually the other team members pick up her slack, but I refuse to do so.

This time we are auditing a larger company, so all hands on deck. And for the first time ever she is neither pregnant nor on maternity leave, and she just got back from her yearly leave.

The company we are auditing is overseas, so the members who will have to go will be staying there for 3 weeks. This time it is my turn to stay in the office (well my home TBH) and do the data organisation/analysis.

She asked me to switch with her, apparently, she can’t leave her 5 kids alone with her husband. I said no. She tried to guilt trip me by saying that what she would have to pay for child care is more than what she would get paid for the whole month and that I don’t have any responsibilities like her. I told her “well they are not my kids, so I don’t see how that is my problem”

Now she is pouting like a kid, and some colleagues are saying that I don’t know how hard-working moms have it, that I should be more compassionate.

Actually I feel very lost in my life. It seems like I’m getting better and improving as a person over time.

But I feel that I have no direction in life. I also don’t know how to describe this and I also have no one to share with about this. My mom will also not understand this since I have a job already and I am independent enough to support myself.

Yet I feel so empty once in a while. I feel so lost and I don’t know if I’m heading in the right direction. My only guideline is that as long as I am not harming any being, I can be a happy person. However, recently, I just cannot stop feeling lost.

I know it will be my fault if I cannot recognize that I have something to feel happy about. I feel that I have too much emotions inside me and I don’t have tools to manage them well. I don’t know why I am just so sensitive to negative emotions and stress. I also don’t able to withstand the stress from work well. My colleague actually encouraged me and told me I’m doing my work well, just that I don’t know how to handle the stress. I actually feel very upset with myself.

For the same job, why other people can adapt so well, but I always have issues with my stress management. Everyone is also very tired from work and also get complaint from parents. I’m not the only one facing it, why is my mind so weak and I don’t have emotional strength to go against it?

I actually feel very lonely. I feel very tired from my work. When I’m with my friends, I feel happy to meet them, but I feel very scared that I have nothing to return back to them.

I wish I can do something good to the beings around me. But I feel that I have nothing good to return to the world, except donating blood.

Other people don’t seem like having problems of dealing with emotions. But I have a lot of emotions inside, and I feel very sensitive to my own and other people’s emotion. It makes me become so quiet when I’m with other people. I think I can work for this job for so long is because it is mostly about interacting with children. I actually feel very uncomfortable with some adults, and I wonder if I’m thinking too much. I have a tendency to keep interpreting their facial expression and body language, this makes me feel very drained.

I feel very tired. I feel that I’m being over sensitive and really think too much with other people’s words. This makes life difficult for me.

And, I hope I can have some joy and peace inside me. Otherwise, I really have nothing to share with my closed one. I don’t know why I just can’t handling my emotion well. It is just one emotion that makes me suffer. I just need to observe and wait for it to leave me.

I really don’t intend to cause any harm for myself. I want to refrain from harming and do as many good things as possible. But my emotion is causing me painful experience. I have very bad anxiety problem when I’m working. This anxiety issue actually results in a lot of negative self talk, things like I’m lousy and ugly, my boss wants to fire me etc. Rationally, I know this is very unhealthy and my negative self talks are all illusion (it doesn’t reflect the reality, I hope).

I feel very anxious. When I’m anxious, I do a lot of running and recently my knees are feeling very painful. I wonder if I should just stop. Either I will exercise very intensely or I will write all my feelings down somewhere else and hope it will disappear once I finish writing it. I really hope I can refrain from harming any being, including myself. Sometimes I get so anxious with my work, I cannot sleep at night and it affects my work on the next day. I could have done it better. This kind of thing keeps appearing in my head. My yoga teacher kept saying that my neck and shoulder are very tight and I need to learn how to relax myself during meditation.

I’m just cannot stop thinking about work before sleeping. I’m very tired and my head is very uncomfortable. I wonder if other people feel that it’s very annoying to be with me. I’m just a normal person who can’t handle stress well and have a lot of complaints with life. I also don’t dare to say it out to other people since I don’t want to be a burden. I can only secretly say it out here online. I hope to bring some joy and peace to the people and animals around me. However, I feel so helpless sometimes, I feel very upset with myself. I feel very tired.

I wonder why I worked so hard in the past. Yet I cannot make myself feel more relax and in peace.

Goodness. I am so frustrated. I’ve been applying and interviewing for different jobs internally and externally. Most recently I applied for a job through my current employer 2 months ago.

Had my final interview over a month ago. Just received an offer this morning. Honestly, I’m having so much anxiety and have shed some tears. Basically, my first interview was with the recruiter and I told her my salary requirements. So when she called me back with the offer it was $14k less than what we discussed.

Additionally, the bonus structure was up to 15%. They are restructuring their bonuses which are now set to a max of a certain dollar amount which is significantly less than the original 15%.

I am feeling absolutely lowballed.

The recruiter told me to think about it and let her know by tomorrow as the backup candidate has a pending offer. I’m not feeling good at all. I had to wait over a month for an offer and they give me a day to think about it just in case I decline and so they can make the offer to the backup??

I emailed her after thinking about it for a couple of hours and restated my salary requirements but haven’t heard back. Not sure what I’m looking to get out of this and I’m rambling. I guess I’m in shock I was blindsided by a crap offer.

Later on, I attempted to negotiate and they weren’t willing to budge. I declined the offer. This was something that was supposed to be exciting but instead, I felt horrible about it.

The recruiter said the employer is known for destroying people who reject job offers and said they will put out my name in the market as a very negative person.

However, I feel good about my decision. So onwards and upwards! Thank you all for the feedback!!!

Honestly, i feel very confused about my current relationship now, i have met my current boyfriend during my secondary school days.. We broke up and patched up quite a few times (Most of the time i initiated the convo) many of my peers also told me to move on from him as he was stingy, selfish and he ended things off with me the past 2 times.

I often feel like it was a one-sided relationship. I’m always the one planning dates, finding new places to go, paying more than 70% for most of our meals (as he claims he does not have the financial means & mentions that i am more well to do than him), paying more on hotels and air tickets when we travel together but he can spend 40-42k on a Rolex watch without thinking much..

He also never wishes me or plans dates during the anniversary and doesn’t spend any money on my birthday gift. When i usually fork out money to purchase presents for him every 2-3 months..

I know i’m not supposed to expect anything back since i gave the gifts willingly.

But there was once when i was badly ill and told him to fetch me to the nearby clinic to bring me to the doctor as i was really weak and sick, he continued his sleep and i took a grab down myself (even though it was a 10 mins drive)

I’ve been keeping all these feelings to myself and thinking if one day he will reciprocate back all the things i have done for him.. I’m starting to have second thoughts on my relationship with him and thinking if i should break it off but at the same time i just can’t let him go as he was my first boyfriend and i’m not sure if i would be able to find anyone whom can click well with me.

What should i do?

Netizens’ comments

• Aiyah first bf so what? Don’t overrate such things. He’s clearly not into you and is used to you giving unconditionally while he just appear. And pls lah. If a guy break up with u twice already, why u still 死皮赖脸不走？I’m sure he’s telling his friends you deserve all these bad treatment cos u won’t leave. Really where’s your pride? Just leave already, next better guy will come along.
• You are paying for the price of your relationship because you are the one who just needs someone to be there in your life. Even if he tried to break up twice, you still cling on to this relationship. Do you think…you will want to marry a selfish guy who doesn’t seem to love you at all? Then, nobody can help you sis. By the way, I don’t believe in “first love” or “first boyfriend”. The idea of first love is all about experiencing that should teach you to do better for your next love. Choose wiser, be treated better and be loved honestly. First love is meant to teach us something that we can laugh about our innocence when we were young. It shouldn’t last forever, otherwise we will call it “the only love”. Now, love yourself a little better and you will know what to do with your 1st love. Take care sis.
• No need to have second thoughts. The longer you hand on to the rs, the more pain you are going to inflict onto yourself. Don’t look back after your left. Love yourself and I’m sure you can find someone better. Don’t believe in first love. This is fairytales. GL
• As u mature, I’m sure u can see that there’s something seriously wrong here. As a woman, let me ask u to imagine his heck care attitude after u’re married, pregnant, with kids etc. Find a better choice.

Is anyone else also super fixated on being successful in life?

I feel like my entire world revolves around being successful and if not i am amount to nothing in life. Its an overachiever mindset but i feel like ive taken this too far where it consumes my whole life

Everything i do, hobbies be it gym or recreational stuff i feel like i must be the best.

I enjoy reading books then suddenly its now become a matter of how many books can I read, i need to beat last year’s number.

Even gifts for my boyfriend, i constantly pressure myself to beat last year’s presents to him.

I initially picked up jiu jitsu for fun then i didnt enjoy it anymore cus i started training for competition and it wasnt as fun anymore.

I feel like theres something wrong with me

Netizen’s comments

• are you aiming to be the best, or are you aiming to be better than yesterday? because hard truth: you’ll never be the best.
  hear me out. i understand where you’re coming from. i am similar to you; i consistently pressure myself to improve and be better. however, i think it’s important to remember the difference between being the best vs being better than you were yesterday.
  if you want to be the best, trying your hardest is not enough. doesn’t matter how much you try unless you have freaky genetics, there’ll always be someone better than you. similarly, this extends to every other aspect of your life as well. if you keep chasing to be the best, you’ll never be happy. you’ll keep asking yourself why someone can do x thing but you can’t do it. some people are just built different.
  WITH THAT SAID, there is nothing wrong with striving to be better than you were yesterday. if you accept that your only true competition is yourself, i think that aiming for progress is a good thing. otherwise, it would be boring if you’re stagnant and never challenging yourself. of course, you should also recognize that you will have bad days, and that you will have many of them; just gotta pick yourself up and keep going.
  look back at where you were last year and see how far you’ve come. next year, look back at today and see how far you improved since now. celebrate all your little milestones along the way because you’re now better than you were the day before. don’t let the chase for progress stop you from celebrating what you worked so hard for.