I have been living in this flat since 2001, and currently things are going well. But I remember from the earlier stages, the many disturbance we got from the tenants who have been here much longer than us.

We live on the third floor, and my bedroom is on one end of the flat. My room has a window that faces a playground. And during the day, it all looks good, with sounds of children from a nearby kindergarten playing. But one of the nights a few months after we moved in, I saw something really odd, that I cannot explain to this day.

It wasn’t midnight or at some early hours of the morning, but at around 8pm, right just after we finished dinner, and I was going to my room to collect some dirty clothes. I walked into my room very briskly and was aware that there was a kind of wind or force. It was like I walked into a netting or smoke or something. I was perplexed and standing in the middle of my room, I looked around, as I collected my clothes. Eventually, my eyes spotted something black and shiny right outside my window. At the ledge, I could see the inky black of the top of someone’s head. I can still remember seeing hair, the parting, the scalp. It was like a person was literally outside my window, and I could see the top of his/her head. There were no hands grasping the windowsill, or anything. Just one head, with black hair.

Amazingly, I just walked out. I was not scared, but just kept thinking, how strange. Today, whenever I think back, the hairs on my neck just stand. I still stay in the same room, and my bed is right under that window. I have received no other disturbances from the “black haired head”, but that was something I suspect related to another incident.

It was the few weeks after we moved in. Some of our things were still unpacked, but I remember feeling very excited, because the renovations were finally done and my room was finally complete. I was enjoying the privacy of my new room. One night, as I was sleeping, I just happened to wake up. As I trying to get back to sleep, I noticed one of our rolled-up carpet behind my door. I thought nothing of it, until I realized the carpet was too tall. It spanned the floor to ceiling, and then wondered, why my mother choose to place the carpet there.

It was dark and I was still groggy from being awakened, but remember feeling quite annoyed that my mom chose to store an ugly thing in my room. Then, from the side of the rolled-up carpet, I saw the distinct movement of an arm. One hand was placed on one elbow, and the arm moved downwards until both hands were clasped in each other. It was only then that I truly saw that the carpet was not rolled up. It wasn’t a carpet at all, but a very long and tall thin being standing in the corner behind my door. It had no face, although I could remember its arms and thin legs, and its slight movement like breathing or swaying.

I eventually got back to sleep, similarly, I did not feel afraid only after some time later when I actually think about it. My mother said, this house actually has guardians, and I probably saw one of them. Amazingly, she also got each room blessed, and without the kids realizing, all our doors and windows have small stickers of prayers.

That “black-haired head” was probably trying to get in, but could not because of both guardians and the prayers stuck on to every window. Eventually, it probably settled on my window, being the furthest window in the house.

So far, I have had no more disturbances. But ours is just one flat in a block of many other blocks. And I have seen some weird happenings and events in this cluster of blocks that even the Town Council cannot or will not address properly. So it’s not so much that these blocks are for people to live in, over time, these spaces and rooms also collect their own share of residents.

Those that choose to either reveal themselves to us, or leave us alone.

Tldr (very long post ahead): I fell in love with a married man through my freelance work. Things got complicated, he is divorcing his wife and I don’t know what to do now.

I was a freelancer (if you know what I mean) and I met him through an app. I’m 27 and he’s 37. Due to problems with his marriage which has been going on for years (I knew that from the start, I’ve known him for 1 year already), this was where he turned to. His wife doesn’t know about us and has never known about any of the girls he had met before. He ended up falling for me due to certain parts of my character and personality that he liked which apparently his wife lacks in, and the chemistry is there. We just click.

Before things got complicated, this was all just transactional to me. I was okay with meeting him everytime he asked since he treats me well, more like a paid FWB thing making it feel less of a “chore” when I meet him as compared to other men. And his married status gave me the comfort that this man just wanted someone to spend his free time with to temporarily get away from his problems at home. Later on, the meet ups became “weirder” as he asked me out for occasional movies, dinner, massage, gym, and even a staycation. It literally felt like we were dating.

A year later, he eventually confessed to me and I admitted that I fell for him too. I stopped my freelancing and he stopped meeting other girls and we have been “exclusive” for a couple months already even before we confessed our feelings to each other.

I never wanted nor expected anything more because of his marital status as I thought that I was just a girl to pass his time and things will be over between us when he resolves his marriage problems or when he finds another girl. But I was wrong and I also ended up falling for his personality and actions.

Since his confession, he also told me that he is divorcing his wife, but it will take some time to settle the divorce and their house matters, so I would have to wait 1 year before we can officially be together. At first we set a date a year from now, once this date has passed, I’m gone and I’m not waiting any longer, and we agreed on it. I know that he’s sincere about this because I know the situation with his wife (long story- but she initiated the divorce). I’ve read his conversations with her and I’m even the one he spends every night with. He shares with me all the details about his life. I tried talked him out of it many times before as I felt bad being a third party… but he insisted on going through with the divorce as he feels this marriage cannot be saved anymore.

Just recently, he told me that he wanted to extend this date to a month longer as he saw the wrong date for his house matter (something about the 5th year mark to be able to sell off the house and get some money back). I cant explain how I felt upon hearing it- firstly I already agreed to wait so long- a year for him to settle what he needs to. I didn’t ask for anything else be it material things or whatever at all. Secondly it’s not my fault that he saw the wrong date, we agreed on this timeline and he should’ve checked before he agreed with me. It feels unfair for me to give him the benefits of girlfriend (/mistress) while he has a wife it’s like he is benefiting from both of us and I have to wait around, although I know that there’s nothing going on between them anymore. I know it’s just a month longer than agreed but this extension request is making me feel like I might not be patient enough to wait. Or maybe I’m just worried that somehow a miracle happens and he decides to stay with his wife and I would have ended up wasting all my time.

I told him I honestly don’t know if I could wait that long, but he wants me to give him a definite answer and he’s pleading me to agree to wait just a little longer. I just really don’t know if I should agree to this or just end it altogether. I know I’m complicating my life by being in this situation when I could just, not be in it. The thing is I really feel that his feelings and actions towards me are sincere and what if all this is worth it in the end? But then what if it’s not?

Someone please knock this brain of mine and help me out… I know I’ll get a lot of hate for being a “home wrecker” sure.. hate me.. go on but please just please tell me what I should do..

I asked out a girl yesterday and she cried

She full on cried. Like head in her hands cried. Her friends then glared at me and started berating me. They called me a creep, a weirdo. They made me feel like absolute crap.

I’m so confused, I didn’t even do anything wrong…

I don’t even think I did it in a weird way. All I did was ask for her number. I wasn’t pushy or touchy or anything. I would’ve taken a no, but my interest in her made her cry.

I’m so hopeless

Netizens’ comments

• Hey, you’ve already been through this scenario now and lived. So that’s less to worry about the next time you ask someone out.

• If you didn’t do anything, then this reaction is her problem not yours. And shows a person with some issues. I mean no insult but her doing that just saved you a lot of trouble in the future.

• I don’t think you deserved to be treated that way over asking for someone’s number. However, it’s pretty clear that you weren’t the reason she was crying and they were being dramatic – she likely has a lot going on that you don’t know about.

A girl shared how her boyfriend is obsessed with K-pop girl groups and that she is jealous and thinks that they are only good-looking and not good at singing or dancing.

Here is the story:

“My boyfriend is sort of obsessed with K-pop. He likes the popular girl groups and is low-key obsessed over a few of the members.

Although I dont like k-pop, I respect his music preference.

However, recently I saw him watching dozens of videos on youtube zooming in and validating the beauty/popularity of his bias.

Also saw him liking and saving photos with those captions e.g most beautiful women in the world.

When I found his ‘secret stash’ of k-pop, he kinda freaked out and tried explaining how those just “likes” and don’t mean anything.

I tried asking why he liked those idols to the point of saving their photos and posts and he mentioned that the main reason is that they are pretty.

I also realize that the visuals of the group aren’t exactly strong in dancing/singing so it just feels very superficial to be so obsessed over idols just for their appearance.

The fact that some of them don’t exactly have a good rep for their personality/talent, yet he chooses to ignore and defend against those claims blindly.

Now I’m starting to wonder what his true feelings are towards me and if they are just as superficial as his obsession with these idols.

Also, isn’t it weird to constantly watch idols online and admire/save photos of them while you are currently attached?”

Editor’s note: Kpop only, not like he’s doing anything wrong, what are you overreacting for?

Images source: Screengrab from Blackpink YouTube, Unsplash

Ignored how severe my constipation was for 3 weeks and it all caught up with me last night.

I’m sure I (30f) will carry this whole story with me to my grave. I’m usually very open with certain people, but this is just one of those things so grody that I do not want anyone who knows me to have this mental image of me. But I am about to paint it for you all, because I really just want to get this off my chest. Like I still can’t believe this all happened.

If you don’t wanna read gory details about poop, skip my post. No hard feelings.

I’ve been constipated for at least 3 weeks, only pooping small amounts and they were very hard poops. The kind of poops that leave no residue when you wipe. Tbh they were like asteroids – small clumps stuck together to form one bigger clumpy rock. Usually the size of golf balls, maybe a bit bigger but slightly flatter.

I’d tried everything short of an enema… ‘cleansing’ tea (laxative like), stool softeners, mineral oil, lots of water, less fiber, lots of fiber, buttery popcorn, exercise, etc. But nothing was helping much and most things were just upsetting my stomach.

So anyways, onto last night. I was woken up around 2AM with the sudden, painful urge to poop. I sat on the toilet, put my feet on the squatty potty, and leaned forward. I had the trash can in front of me because it felt like one of those poop, puke, or both moments. I got super hot and sweaty so I stripped myself, as one does in these situations. Nothing was coming out. I was so beyond uncomfortable, I seriously considered waking my fiance (30m) to take my to the ER.

I ended up laying on the bathroom floor during a brief reprieve and realized that laying on my left side was helping to get things moving and eased some of the nausea. So I put an old towel in the bathtub and layed down in there on my left side, back pressed against the wall of the tub, the cool porcelain felt very good on my back. I figured if I pooped or puked here it’d be easier to clean up anyways.

I was contorting around to find the best position to push this poop out. I ended up with my left leg flat, bent at the knee, pressed against the opposite wall to my back; my right leg raised, foot pushing on the little soap holder on the wall in the middle of the tub.

I know you’re not supposed to push a lot or strain so much, but was in so much pain that I’d rather just deal with the hemorrhoids later.

So I kept pushing and eventually, I felt a breach! I considered reaching down to just pull it out with my hands, but didn’t want to risk a change of position ruining the moment. I maintained, trying so hard to not lose the pressure between pushes / breaths. Two asteroids plunked out onto the old towel, literally with a clunk. I layed there for a moment to make sure that’s all that was coming out, to catch my breath, and allow the body heat to dissipate some. When it felt safe to do so, I got up and used toilet paper to grab these fist sized asteroid turds and flush them.

Feeling better and rather pleased that I’d discovered a new ‘life hack’, I threw the old towel away, took a quick shower, and went to lay back down. It was about 2:45AM at this point.

At 3AM, the same sudden urge that had woken me up earlier returned with a vengeance. I figured this would be an easier go since I thought those two asteroids were the blockage causing me so much trouble. I was very wrong. I was back on the toilet, nothing on and sweating bullets, doubled over ready to puke into the trash can, wishing to end it all.

I figured the tub trick worked before and laid down another old towel, assumed the same position as before, and tried to breathe through it. After about 20 minutes (not pushing the whole time, obviously), another two asteroids thumped out. There was some relief, but not as much as before. I felt more movement in my bowels and wanted to get back onto the toilet, but didn’t want to risk losing any momentum, so just stayed there. Just a minute or two later and another asteroid thump… I could instantly tell was the last of the blockage, it’s truly amazing how much regret and how many thoughts can flood your mind in one second. Before I could even lift my arm, three ‘normal’ turds blasted out of my butt, instantly followed by a steady stream of diarrhea which realistically lasted about 15 seconds (felt like minutes).

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt a solid 15 seconds of thick, hot diarrhea freely flowing from your body (while you are not on a toilet) and I don’t even know how to describe it, but I’ll try: Physical relief, of course, but also a kind of terror (will this ever end?) – Dread (the mess…. on myself and in the tub) – Regret (why am I still in the tub?) – Panicked anxiety (will my partner come into the bathroom at this very moment and find me here, like this, in the tub, volcanic poop still gushing out of my asshole?)

Finally, a few concluding squirts sputtered out and it ended. I layed there so briefly, just to make sure I didn’t pass out when I stood up. The stench was incredible. The asteroids smelt a bit, but nothing could compare to this hot stench engulfing our tiny bathroom, effectively turning it into the pits of hell. I was amazed to see that the towel had caught 95% of it all, though. I used the unsoiled half to wipe off my leg and butt cheek enough to where I wouldn’t drip poop everywhere when I walked to the kitchen to get two garbage bags. I came back and carefully rolled up the towel to double bag everything.

I plopped that onto the floor, turned the shower on, lit a few incense matches and sprayed some room spray, praying the stench would dissipate by morning. I rinsed off and used an old rag to scrub all affected areas before just sitting down under the stream of warm water. To my horror, I hear the bathroom door open. My showering had woken up my fiance and he came in to pee. I peaked out from behind the shower curtain and he, bless his heart, only asked if I was okay. I just looked up at him and mumbled something about ‘getting sick’, but the bathroom still reeked and he sees the garbage bag bundle on the floor. I’m sure he pieced together a part of what happened. He asked if I needed anything and when I declined, went back to bed.

I finished my shower, triple washing my whole body and making sure the tub was clean. I took the bags out to the dumpster, came back inside, sprayed more room spray in the bathroom, made sure the door was latched shut, and went back to bed at almost 4AM. My stomach still felt a little uneasy, but I was confident there wasn’t anything left that could work itself out tonight and I was exhausted. I slept alright and woke up this morning tired and still feeling a little sour, but much better than last night.

Although I really wish I had moved to the toilet before the diarrhea started, I am honestly relieved that it happened. I do feel better today. Constipation is no joke and I’ve dealt with it many times in the past, so I know better! I should have done an enema or talked to a doctor much earlier, but I convinced myself to wait it out because I was pooping, albeit very small amounts.

The past few weeks, I hadn’t been able to eat properly because I’ve felt perpetually full and/or nauseated this whole time. I was constantly uncomfortable, achey, and having migraines but I’m not sure how much of that was caused by the constipation directly. If you’re constipated, DO NOT wait 3+ weeks to deal with it. Even if you’re ‘pooping a little’ every so often. It just gets worse and worse. I think an ER visit would have been justified last night (though I am glad I avoided it) but I definitely would have wound up with a doctor digging poop out of my butt if I hadn’t gotten this cleared out in the next day or so.

And that’s the end. Byeeeeeeeee…

how do people simply trust the people they meet on dating apps?

some of my friends use dating app because they are afraid of being left on the shelf. it seems like once the guy/girl fulfill a certain set of criteria, they will just go ahead and get married.

Mr A earns 6k a month, has a decent job, a few years older, already bought his own car. Miss B is working in the teaching sector, loves children and her family.

Mr A paints a good picture of a supportive and financially stable husband while Miss B is a potentially loving wife/mother.

of course there are many successful dating stories from online dating, often seeing comments about “i met my husband/wife on CMB etc”

but i wonder how many are actually messed up. for the messed up marriages, the affected parties are unlikely to talk about it so it will not be known.

many people on dating apps know how to market themselves well. all you see is just a photo (taken at their best angle) and a description of themselves which is likely well crafted to make them hot in demand.

how many Mr A actually met their full description? and how many Miss B are really kindhearted and loving? the whole thing just seems like a hoax but for people who use it, they willingly chose to be hoaxed.

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s just a way to meet ppl lah. After meetup, catfish will be eliminated and time will tell if rest of description is a hoax or not lah. And pls dun trust anyone u meet online. Google the shit out of them. U may find out they are married or have whatever cheating scandals that ppl have blog abt. Very interesting

• It’s about luck.Dating apps suit people who have a small social circle of friends.There are still nice people around.The bad sheep normally has the same characteristics.Inconsistency treatment is the most frequently seen RED FLAG.

• It’s not blind matchmaking la.You see their profile, but take it with a pinch of salt, both parties are interested to meet then y’all see if there’s any connection/chemistry etc. You get to know the person before committing to anything, not get married straight away I mean sure there can be hoaxes and catfishes on the platform but there are good people too and u only need to meet that one right person, which may mean meeting many other hoaxes first

A little context, my boyfriend is still in BMT and we have been together for a little over 2 years.

[ decided to preface this by saying that I truly think it is an honour to be an NS gf, I’m honoured to get to learn about the ns reality and life through my bf and to be someone’s support system during such a tough period. Not everyone will have the experience of dating an NS guy, so I truly truly view it as an honour to have been given this chance to learn more and to better myself as a partner ]

Before my bf went into NS, I made him a care pack full of stuff from caps to mosquito repellent, KT tape, muscle relaxant patches and much more. I even prepared tons of letters for my bf which are colour coded by how his day went, so that the letters he reads everyday would be more contextualized towards his experience for that day and I think this is a super good gift for all NS gfs to prepare!! Plus I also bought a voice recording card on shopee to record a message for him, so that he can listen to my voice too before he sleeps.

When my bf enlisted, I made sure to be super super supportive. Till this day (3 months+ in), I still fetch him from every single bookout and drop him off for every single book-in, so long as it doesnt clash with my working hours (mon-fri, 9-6), as I’m currently working full time before entering uni. I kid you not, I’m there waiting at the mrt where the bus drops all the NS boys off, every single book-in and book-out that I can. By this point probably my bfs entire platoon recognises me lmao. And every time he books out, I do my best to buy a different drink for him ( diff brands of bbt, boost etc.) before rushing down from my workplace to pick him up from book-out. Girls, you dont know how badly your bf misses civillian food and his favourite bbt. But yeah, presence is key, always show your support for your NS bf every chance you get, I promise it means the world to him!

So what do I do when my boyfriend is busy in NS? Well, I do my research on different things about NS. Mostly I spend time on this NS thread, reading about the experiences of different NS guys and the kind of inside jokes yall have, or whatever complaints yall have about cookhouse food or field camp. In fact I’ve genuinely become insanely interested in NS life. I’ve watched all the mindef playlists (yep even the ones from >10 years ago with the stupid 240p resolution), because I want to better understand what my bf is going through as well as his experience. Tbh I dont understand why NS bfs always complain that their gfs aren’t interested in what they have to say about the army. I literally ask my bf so many questions about the army, to the point he’s sick of talking about it already HAHA. But in all honestly, mindefs youtube is a hugely helpful resource for NS gfs to understand how NS works. I’m so fascinated by the different types of trainings they undergo, how to use the SAR-21 and before this, I never even knew the grenade had a lever! Now I better understand the military rankings and different vocations and all this I’ve learnt from mindefs youtube, without having to ask my bf. And in fact it’s so cool to really see that the NS facilities look like, because we girls will otherwise never be able to relate. Watching the videos gave me such a better picture of how the SOC looks, how the dismantled SAR-21 looks, how the BCCT premises look and so much more. And I’ve learnt so many cool things from asking my bf questions as well! How else would I know there’s such a thing as a tracer bullet or the different shooting positions or the different things you guys carry during FBO. It’s literally so interesting, you can learn the head knowledge about the NS process and go ask your bf for the practical knowledge and experience. I know from a macro-view that guns, grenades, marching and shooting sound incredibly boring, but I promise you it’s not! I never saw myself as someone who would be interested in these things, but boy was I wrong. It’s really fascinating and Im sure your bf will really appreciate you taking your time to deepen your knowledge in what is his everyday reality!

In terms of keeping an NS relationship strong, it takes 2 hands to clap. Ive been so so fortune to have the best bf in the universe because idk how he even makes time to text me everyday during his limited admin time. Not only do I ask about his day, he also puts in the effort to ask about how my work went and we always talk about what we had for lunch. Always communicate with your partner, even on the most mundane of things! I’ve honestly never felt happier in my relationship than now, it is the easiest because Im so touched by how my bf makes time for me out of his busy NS schedule. But dont expect too much, some days your bf will be too exhausted to text. Instead, just be understanding snd wish him goodnight immediately when he expresses exhaustion. You will never be able to understand just how exhausted he is from getting scolded by sergeants all day and having to do intense physical workouts. Just support him and remind him that you’re always there! Don’t be quick to get angry with him, always empathise, his NS life is tougher than you can imagine. Always reassure him that you love him and only him, your loyalty will motivate him through the toughest of trainings!

I was genuinely shocked when I saw NS guys in this thread saying that their gf expects them to pay for both parties on weekend dates. I think it’s horribly insensitive and selfish on a gfs part to expect that. In fact, I do the complete opposite. I’ve asked my bf if he would allow me to pay for our meals whenever we go out, seeing as I know he wants to save as much as he can out of the peanut pay that NS gives. I’ve told my bf that everything is about proportionality, I’m earning more now, due to my full time job, hence I should pay for the dates and his food. However, he didnt want me to fully pay either, since he says my money from work belongs to me. So we’ve decided that whenever we go out, we eat simple and if I decide I want to eat something more expensive that day, I would pay for 80% of the total meal. For dates and outings to movies or places like USS, I’ll pay 100% for both of us. It’s only fair to do so. So ladies please dont expect your bf to pay for you ya, he barely earns enough for himself, be the generous one! I’m sure it’ll relieve his financial burdens too.

And for weekend dates, try to plan chill stuff if you must! Keep in mind that your bf has been walking, marching, jogging, running, swimming, climbing and so much more, all day every day. He’s probably already so exhausted and just wants a break to rest, so do indulge him in that. Try to plan more home dates, just grab snacks or order in food and watch some movies together. Better yet, just take a nap together. If you wanna go out, pick a close mall or one with a direct bus route, so your bf can rest more. Please dont plan full day outings, you dont want to torture him. Also, on weekend dates, be the bigger person and let him choose what to eat most of the time. After all, he only has those 2 bookout days to indulge in civilian food. If you want to eat smth badly but he doesnt like it, just eat it yourself during the weekdays HAHA. He has less freedom than you, so let him enjoy those little moments of freedom and I’m sure he will appreciate you for it.

Remember to let your bf spend time with his family and friends too. Give him bro-time to game, gamble, drink or just catch up with his guy friends too. After all, he’s only human and as much as he loves you, he has a life outside of your relationship as well, so let him enjoy that. Dont cut him off from his family or friends, things in NS are already hard for him as they are.

Andddd words of affirmation! I always remind my bf that I’m very proud of him and that I believe in him, every time he completes an exercise, whether it be a run or a strength training or something else. Hearing that you’re proud of him will really brighten his gruelling days.

All in all, the NS relationship experience really is what you make of it! I live an hour away from my bfs book in/drop off point, while he only lives about 20mins away from it. But some days I will still wake up at 7am and travel all the way down to his house, just to accompany him in the bus for those last 20mins before he books in. Quality time is everything to a man with such limited time, always show him how important he is to you by making sacrifices for him, your little sacrifices will eventually go a long way in his heart. Jiayou to all the NS gfs and bfs out there!!

( just wanted to add that my bf is going for his field camp soon and I’m filled with worry and excitement, I’m so proud of him and I know he will do amazing, I can’t wait to surprise him at his post-fieldcamp bookout and treat him to good food and hear all the stories he’ll have to tell me about his field camp experience!! )

Many of us have items from our childhood and we have been keeping them for memory or value sake.

A man shared a story about a dispute between himself and his girlfriend after she threw away his prize collection of Digimon.

Here is the story:

There are alot of people who collect the things they love, for me I like to collect digimon. I have the first edition digimon still in it’s packaging.

The 1st generation might not be worth much but a mint unopened one is worth at least several hundred dollars.

Guess what? My retarded girlfriend think that it’s some old trash and threw it down the bin while she was cleaning.

I asked her where is my digimon she said she threw the toy away, I told her that its my collector’s item and why did she threw it without asking me. Guess what she said

“It looks like some old toy thats why I threw it away”.

I then turned on my PC and search for the item and showed her that it was worth several hundred dollars. She refuse to believe me even though it was listen on Ebay and insist that it was trash.

I told her buy it back for me or she can compensate me via cash. She told me I was talking nonsense and said that she will not pay me back for throwing away my trash.

I told her to the face: “Get out of my house because you are trash that cannot even recognize value”.

She leave in a hurry and closed the door hard trying to show her anger.

Knn, this is ridiculous. You throw away people’s stuff then refuse to admit that your wrong and still have the audacity to show anger.

She then called me few hours later crying. I told her I don’t need someone that has the intelligence of a buffalo to be my partner and I end it with her.

A netizen shared how he wants to warn others against joining the insurance industry, citing his own experiences.

Here is the story:

“Insurance Agent,

I’m writing this to warn people stay out of insurance business which many young people fall into in recent years.

I’m from a single parent family migrated from neighbour country looking for a better future, my mum passed away when i’m 3. And then, me and my dad been renting houses till now for 20+ years due to all sort of finance straint and wrong decision made over the years which still in big debt now…

Me & my dad are both PR which few year back i converted to singaporean after serving NS, so the story all started from after serving NS, one of my poly closed friend invited me over to one of the big insurance company and i joined without any hestitation due to young mindset i guess, and then nightmare begin….

Does’nt have any family here, no connection to any upper class, not much friends due to always working part time since young to cover the cost of living and the rental. Definetely not good looking, why in the earth when they told me i can success in this career and i belived it?

i tried so hard to hustle warm/cold contact around me until i realized one important thing after joining this career for 2 years. Nobody or very seldom people will get or trust anything i said from a poor dude that always left in their impression since young. Every single colleagues joined this business closed their family within a year with big cases to success and posted in group chat to boast about it.

Everytime they post, everytime i cried so hard, felt so useless & alone in my small rented room shared with my dad.

After 2 years of wasting time & i’m in my late 27 now, i loses all my passion/hopes in this career expecially hustling was nearly impossible during this pandemic period.

I turned myself into trading stock recently & lost all my life saving due to emotional trading.

I have 0 incomes for months and loses all hopes in life.

Guess the only thing that i cant bear to see is my father crying………. i really dissapoint you as a son compared to so many people……….i’m sorry……..

Please stay out of Being a FA, agree or not, if you’re poor and no family connection this will be the last job you ever want to join to ruin your future.

Wish you all make a good decision and strike for the best.”

Editor’s note: Keep your head up bro, you tried your best. Why do we fall down in life? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up. Hang in there brother.

Images source: Unsplash

A netizen shared how he finds dating to be a tiresome and boring affair because he found that he is the only one making the effort and the girls he dated are expecting him to do everything.

Here is his story:

“I am starting to find dating boring, tiring and expensive. I also find that it is unfair that guys have to do almost everything. I will be putting the juicy part about me complaining about girls’ lack of efforts in dates in the 3rd last para. Burn me if you want to in the comments section. If you think girls put in a lot more effort than guys, list the things in the comments as well. Would love to hear about those.

Most of the time it goes to 2-3 dates and some don’t even go beyond 1. The worst ones are those that you spend weeks or months on the app and never meet in real life. I love it when they find something stupid to stop dating me like my salary or my choice in music (yup that happened) or because I don’t drink alcohol or the best one and the most common one, because I want to have intercourse after marriage. I do ask them why they want to stop and those are the reasons they give. The more polite girls use the ghosting method which makes me feel more respected

My salary, though average, is definitely sufficient to run a family. I am just not rich. You do realize that I could get a better job in the future right? I might be the next Elon Musk who speaks Singlish. Get ready to eat your words! Oh yes, if I was a girl and I wanted to sleep with the guy after marriage, my wish is to be respected and I am apparently holy. If I have the same request as a guy, I am a loser? Love the double standard!!! I only reject girls who are rude, manipulative or think they are made of gold unlike everyone else

Guy has to pay for first date

The rule is that guy has to pay for the first date so free meal for the lady. If I ask to go dutch, I seem petty. If I pick a simple place, they complain so I have to find something that is at least mid-tier. To be honest, I don’t mind paying for meals even it means for the rest of our lives together. The problem is that we stop seeing each other after a few dates and this happens so often. I am losing a lot of money.

I also feel that the guy has to put in more effort. Come on, the competition is rough out there. I am not exactly Chris Evans. To make myself stand out, I have to put in a lot more effort. Based on the person’s profile, I would think of a relevant place or activity for the dates. I would research the things they mention in their profile like a certain sport or some famous figure. We will have more to talk about and most of the time, it impresses most of them except for the ice queens. They just need to come and enjoy the date, no effort from them at all. They might not even remember my profile or what was in it. If the date sucks, then it is my fault. Yes, I feel amazing when that happens, especially listening to them complain.

I have done this dating thing so many times that I have a routine like those guys performing shows on stages. I have experimented on various jokes or types of humor and found the most optimal ones. The only thing is that since I pay attention to their profile, I might customize it to them. We also talk about things. Literally the same darn things. Deal breakers, interests, etc. Same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over (approaches infinity).

Finds lack of effort from the girls annoying

As I mentioned, I am not Chris Evans but I do groom myself as best as I can. Most girls would come to dates in a decent outfit. I love it when girls come as if they just woke up from their bed and show how much they care about the date.

I find the lack of effort from girls extremely annoying. Some come to dates not remembering my profile. If the conversation is dry, I have to be the one who has to keep it lively and prevent it from turning awkward. Most girls don’t even try anything. They get a free meal on the first date. They don’t have to plan dates. They can give the uninterested face and it is fine. If I do it, then it is a sin.

Out of all the girls I have dated, only 3, that is right, only 3 girls have seemed to put in the effort. 2 of them made an effort to keep the conversation fun. The last girl planned the second date voluntarily. I am still friends with all 3 of them till today because they are WORTH IT.

Honestly, I don’t mind putting in the effort. It is fun to do some of the things. If nothing else, the least I expect is for the girl to put effort into the conversation and as a plus, remember something about me from my profile or our chats. The problem I have is that despite putting in all the effort, it keeps failing for stupid reasons (2nd para). Guys deserve to be respected too by the way.”