It ended with a text. It was from my ex-girlfriend, and the message read, “I’m so sorry, I thought your anime merchandise was just toys and I threw it away.”

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My anime merchandise was worth $23,000. It was a collection of limited edition figures, trading cards, and other rare items. I had spent years collecting it, and I was devastated that she had just thrown it away.

All of them had very high resale value

I immediately called her and demanded that she pay me back. She was apologetic, but I was too angry to accept her apology. I told her that I wanted my money back and that I wanted to break up with her.

She was in tears as she tried to explain that she had made a mistake and that she was sorry. But I wasn’t listening. I was too angry and hurt.

The next day, She transferred me $23,000. It was from my ex-girlfriend. She had sold all of her possessions to pay me back.

I was relieved that I had gotten my money back, but at the same time, I felt guilty. She had done something incredibly generous, and I had responded by breaking up with her. It seemed so unfair.

But I couldn’t change what had happened. I had trusted her to take care of my anime merchandise, and she had let me down.

I thought about our relationship, and how it had started out so promising. We had been best friends for years, and I had thought that we would be together forever. But now, here we were, and it was all over.

It seemed so final, and I felt a sadness wash over me. I knew I had made the right decision, but it had come at a great personal cost.

I kept the check, but I never cashed it. Instead, I framed it and hung it on my wall, as a reminder of what happened.

I never saw my ex-girlfriend again. I heard through the grapevine that she had moved away and was doing well.

I hope that she found happiness, even if I couldn’t be part of it. I don’t regret breaking up with her, but I will always regret that she threw away my anime merchandise.

Just a reminder: Companies do not care about you

5 weeks ago, I applied for a new job as my contract was ending. This new position that I was applying for was a full-time, direct hire role.

I went through 3 virtual interviews and then met them for a final face to face interview. The day after my final interview, I received a phone call and an offer from the hiring manager. I accepted the job!

My hire date was scheduled for this coming Monday. I had received my laptop and several other pieces of company issued equipment over the the past day and a half. This morning, I started the the onboarding process.

I got a call this afternoon from the VP of HR that the company was now officially in a hiring freeze and that the job I was supposed to start on Monday was not going to start at all. They would also send me the instructions for sending back all of the equipment that they sent to me.

So, just a reminder, that your company doesn’t give a shit about you.

Netizens’ comments

1. Tell them to send a courier for their equipment. petrol/commuting isn’t free. Kept a free laptop and computer from a company since they refused to send a courier. They can still get them back but I’m not driving/taking public transport to their office.
2. Best statement I ever heard was, old person talking to young person: ‘the only people that will remember that you worked late 3 months from now is your family, your boss and coworkers will forget in 2weeks.’ Keep that in mind FOREVER.
3. That is horrid. Sorry you’re experiencing that. Sounds like a place that would be lousy to work for.
4. I would ask what the pay is for returning said equipment. If it’s not enough, tell them to send a courier for it, and you’ll try to meet them. After all, you are busy looking for a real job, not a frozen one.
5. OMG. I’ve been a hiring manager for 25 years. I have never once had to pull a job offer once it was accepted. All open postings were pulled immediately, but once we had written acceptance to an offer, then it was a done deal. Thats just outrageous. 

I [33F] started dating someone [50M] is the age difference too much?

So basically I (33F) recently started dating someone (50M) and most of my friends have told me it’s weird and inappropriate.

We met at work. I was transferred to the same department that he worked in and we were friendly with one another but it never went beyond that.

I stopped working there after about 8 months and found a job that suits me better and we didn’t see one another for months until we ran into each other at a take out place I frequent.

We started meeting up for lunch there every weekday and exchanged numbers. Eventually things became more romantic and intimate in nature.

I’ve had terrible luck with relationships in the past and dating apps make me want to pull my hair out. I thought I lucked out because he’s such a great guy and there’s something special to me about meeting someone organically opposed to meeting them online.

Some of the things my friends have said is that it’s weird for someone his age to be with someone my age. And that he’s old enough to be my father (which I guess is technically true but my actual father is almost 70).

One friend did say “it’s a bigger age gap than I’m comfortable with personally” which isn’t technically negative but it was the tone in which she said it that made me feel like she was being judgmental.

I’m just looking for advice I guess. Anything helps.

Netizens’ comments

1. Presidential hopeful Ng Kok Song is 75 years old and his fiancee is 45, I think you’re doing fine.
2. As someone who was in a brief relationship with a lovely person in a gap similar to this (ages and all) I would say as long as you’re aligned on what you want it’s probably fine at this stage of life.
   What ultimately broke us up was that he was done with kids and more in “chill out mode” whereas I still wanted a family and someone who wouldn’t be upset I wasn’t ready to retire and could screw off whenever. It was all amicable but we realized that deeply caring for each other wouldn’t be enough. But if these are non-issues for you two then it’s fine.
3. Alot has been covered here that i wont repeat, but think about what you want for your future.
   Do you want kids, is he happy with the idea of parenting a child/children well into his 60s?
   How is his health? Are you going to be restricted in the future because of his limitations that inevitably come with old age, while you still want to do active things?
   It that all sounds ok to you and your happy, go for it.

Have you met such people on MRT before?

I was recently sleeping on the train, opening my eyes every few minutes. Out of shock, a guy at an age of around uni graduate literally exchanged handshakes with me and wished “Happy National Day”.

It feels very awkward. And the main thing is I don’t even know that person. Shortly after the handshake, this guy was looking around. He was so active.

I get mixed feelings from this guy. I thought Singaporeans are very conservative. But I have never met such strangers on the metro. Have you guys encountered this before?

Edit: I’m a guy. People thought I’m a girl and the stranger was thought to be trying his luck

Netizens’ comments

1. I’ve had to keep talking to one such guy before, because he was sort of bothering a kid about 5 years old and the kid’s father didn’t know what to do. So I struck up a very forced conversation with the autistic (?) guy so that the dad and son could escape. I learned that he was going home after going to a church where some volunteers teach him and he hopes to be able to work in a cafe in the future. Quite awkward because he wanted to know which stop I was going.
2. The train really brings out the weirdest of people. But don’t worry, unfortunately it’s kinda common.
3. its not national day tho..he’s a lil too early 
4. Go up to the girl you like, “happy mothers day”
5. I had an encounter once when a girl sat next to me and hugged my arm. There weren’t many people on the train at the time, just two of us in the cabin. Don’t know what came over me, but I felt calm and started to talk to her like an older sis would to her younger sis. Before I knew it, she got distracted, stood up and went off on her next adventure

I just spoke to someone who was diagnosed with a mental illness after his time in DB.

He was a calm and introverted youngster when this occurred ten years ago. He was assigned to the SCDF, and after a short period of training, one day in camp he sent an inappropriate SMS to a superior officer.

From that point on, his life spiraled out of control. He said it was an accident, but the officer in charge saw it as disrespectful and charged him.

He spent two weeks in DB and confessed to me that he wasn’t accustomed to living in a dark environment. In the end, he experienced mental health problem in two weeks.

He started hearing voices more frequently a week after being released, and a month later his parents brought him to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for evaluation.

After some tests, the doctor informed his parents that he has schizophrenia and that, if quick treatment is not taken, his condition will worsen. He was placed in intensive care and downgraded to PES F a month later.

One year later, his medical condition had significantly worsened; he now screams nonstop, strikes his family members violently, and switches the lights on and off at random.

After going through this with his family for five years, he is now able to function normally. However, if he goes more than two days without taking his prescription, he starts acting violently once more and loses his ability to think clearly.

Edited

*Minor correction, I didn’t ask him if he was placed in a dark room, he only told me that it was a dark environment, so it could be out of context.

I wasn’t sure how to ask him so I avoided the question but there could be chances of him hallucinating, or something that happened in DB that gave him the memory of it being dark.

Netizens’ comments

1. 2weeks DB for an inappropriate text? Either they messed up or this dude is lying about the reason why he ended up in DB
   • (OP) I think it may have been harassment and misconduct since the text was sent to a female superior officer.
2. Unlikely tbh. Unlikely to be sent straight to DB without guard duty or other punishments. The dark DB room I believe is for repeated/aggressive offenders
3. lol where got straightaway go dark cell bro?
   dark cell is a punishment cell within DB itself. only way to go there is to disobey orders as a detainee else he’ll just be in the normal cells
4. Fella lied to you lah

10k salary but long hours?
Which would you choose and why?

Scenario A

10k salary but high workload, stress and working hours (more than 50 hours a week)

Scenario B

6k salary but average workload and great working hours (~40 hours a week)

For those who chose B, what’s the minimum salary you would consider to put up with the workload/stress?

Assuming everything else is comparable such as boss, culture, progression, work, benefits, etc..

Netizens’ comments

1. Currently in scenario B – extremely comfortable, office within walking distance, low stress, friendly boss and colleagues, never go home after dark before
   Yet some days can’t help but to have that nagging doubt to change jobs especially since I feel like I’m lagging behind my peers/cohort in terms of pay…oh well, grass is always greener I guess
2. Literally my situation. Fresh grad 4.7k w frequent bonuses but horrid boss and work life balance. Constant stress.
   Went against the grain, left to another company and took a paycut to 4.3k minor bonus, but great boss and working hours.
   Now I have my weekends, time to gym, date, even consider side hustles. That net loss in income was worth the mental health gains alone.
   But if u can tank it 10k to some might be worth. See your personality.
3. I took Scenario B after tanking 2 years of 10-11k monthly pay, 80-100 hours per week, had to work even when on leave also. Mentally draining, hardly had enough sleep and totally burnt out. The money earned couldn’t make up for time lost with family and friends, and gave me lots of health problems thereafter.
   6-7k with good work life balance is really comfortable for me now, still can pay for bills, and I totally have time for family and friends. Can go traveling in peace without having to lug a laptop around and replying work emails via my phone.

My boyfriend doesn’t change his underwear everyday and I find it repulsive
Lately my boyfriend started to take less care of his hygiene. His excuse is that he’s too busy or that he forgets.

Sometimes, he wears the same boxers for three days. I told plenty times him that it was nasty and unattractive to me.to him, it’s not a big deal. We’re not having sex unless he took a shower and changed his clothes before.

But something changed, I’m really starting to lose attraction because of that, i can’t help but think about it when we’re intimate. He’s a grown man and I just can’t understand why it’s hard for him to be clean.

Netizens’ comments

1. This is a key question – I’m a very hygienic person and care about my appearance, but I went through a divorce last year and there were times where I’d wear the same underwear and socks for 2-3 days at a time because I just didn’t really care due to the toll it took on my mental health.
2. To Everyone saying “why is it always about mental health etc, some people are just nasty etc” – Yes this is 100% true, no arguments regarding that, I don’t think anyone would argue that either.
   But this person is right, it also CAN be due to bad mental health. It’s quite frustrating that people are commenting to disprove this, as both opinions could be true.
   But when people come to this comment and say it’s just an excuse etc, don’t blame everything on mental health…. Why? What do you get from it, what is there to gain from such comments?
   I am this person. Over a long period, gave up on myself, no self respect/motivation. Personal interests went out the window, as did personal hygiene like clean clothes, brushing teeth and showering. Lone behold in a much better place now and think that I “Deserve” to be here, and have a good level of self esteem…maybe a bit too vain these days of anything
3. I would say that it depends on the quality of his hygiene. I’m pretty obsessed with daily showers, if not twice a day depending on how active I have been. That being said, when I was younger, I realized that my obsession with cleanliness isn’t really relevant to the rest of the world; if anything, it was a byproduct of growing up in a very privileged life. Just because you wore a shirt, or underwear for that matter, does not automatically make it dirty. I could wear a shirt for two days and have it be cleaner than the one I wore for a game of basketball in an afternoon. So what it really comes down to is not how long something is being worn (to a point), but rather how nasty you get while wearing that item of clothing. If he’s wearing clothes and just lounging around, it’s probably not worth washing immediately and can last another day or two. If he’s getting sweaty and being active, then continuing to wear the items for a couple days, that’s nasty. It’s all relative.

Losing my sense of purpose past my 50th birthday

My wife and I are 50 years old; we are in good health. 1 of our children just started working after graduating from NUS, while the other will be starting his 3rd Year there soon.

We have sufficient savings and investments to contemplate retiring in the next 1 -2 years. Our home is fully paid for and we have another property that is giving us a good monthly rental.

We should be relatively stress free, and thankful that we may stop working pretty soon. Why then do I feel rather empty inside?

Is it common for those past their 50th birthday or near retirement to feel this way? It’s as if I have nothing to look forward to except for my children’s wedding and having grandkids. Is this part and parcel of ageing?

Netizens’ comments

1. Yeap it’s pretty normal. My parents went through it a couple of years ago when my Dad was 55 and my Mom was 47. It was especially hard for them because they grew up poor and only started accumulating wealth in their 30s and worked their asses off and had no hobbies.
   My Mom started focusing more on her career and moved to a more hectic job and started a side hustle buying and selling handbags. My Dad stayed at his current job which was pretty chill and started reading more, taking skillssfuture courses, cycling, and developing an interest in euthanasia of all things.
2. Sign up for stuff to never imagine yourself to do. I’m relatively unfit and old with kids like you. I signed up for an ultra marathon overseas to challenge myself. I spent time training researching, watching videos I never knew existed, learned about gear I never knew existed, made friends along the way and boy is this more fun than ever.
3. My dad retired at about 55. He then went on to do a bachelor’s degree in TCM. Then tried to get a PhD but kept failing his thesis defence lol. Now that they’re empty nesters, my parents just travel around Asia and they’ve been on over 10 trips this year alr.
   Your life may be very different now but whether it’s purposeful or boring is what you do with it.
4. Maybe you spent your life working to have a better life for your family and now that you’re approaching retirement age where everything is actually comfortable, you’re feeling lost?
   My aunt and uncle were like that – they both retired fairly at the same time, plus their kids moved out so they kinda became empty nesters. Aunt went full into cooking and baking, uncle went into stocks, biking, gardening, etc.
   There’s probably tons of things to do, what you’re really missing is the structured life – wake up, go to work, go home, sleep. Rinse and repeat. You’ll have to dig in and find hobbies you used to do or explore things you were interested in. If it helps, you can set a schedule for yourself – from x to y o’clock work on this, from y to z o’clock go there and do that.

I caught my Husband cheating on me with my Mother!!!

My mother (56F) and Husband ( 28M) have always been particularly close but I never suspected anything until about a month ago.

But a little backstory on me and my mom’s relationship , it’s always been a little rocky when I was growing up I always felt like my mom was in competition with me

I remember bringing my first boyfriend home and she asked what I was doing with such a boy as him and I was basic after that I always vowed the next guy I bring home would be the one I marry.

And I held my promise I brought my fiancé to meet my mom after 3 years of dating. It was nicest my mom was to me besides not knowing that I was engaged and her and my fiancé clicked right away, i was so happy I felt like I finally found the right one.

It was all great up until now I recently noticed my husband pull away from me like he couldn’t stand to be around me, I thought it most likely was a phase in most marriages and would surely pass but it didn’t.

it got worse over time he would sneak away every time his phone would ring I asked my friends what I should do and took the advice to try and be a little different like cooking every day and going on date nights but it seems like he was never interested.

I was up past midnight googling signs of relationships failing but I heard his phone go off and decided to check for him since he was asleep

I realized it was from my mom from the 10 missed calls because the number wasn’t saved and thought it could be an emergency.

but she ended leaving a message saying babe text me back, I didn’t think too much of it and checked the message and what I found broke my heart

he had been texting her since the beginning of our marriage sending flowers to her job and saying he wished he met her before meeting me and how he didn’t want to “break my heart” but he was going to “leave me eventually”

I am heartbroken and don’t know what to do it’s been about 3 weeks and I haven’t said anything and been acting as if everything is normal. I need some advice on how to handle this.