I was heading home and this Grab driver tried to make small talk. No issues with that besides him asking if I’ll be clubbing tonight because it’s ladies’ night. I said I was tired and I closed my eyes to rest.

When I opened my eyes, I saw him watching a YouTube video with a well-endowed woman wearing a low cut top talking in the video.

Curious, I asked what that video was about and he said it’s about PUA (pick up artists). It made me more curious so I asked him to show me the channel. When I looked it up at home, it’s NOT PUA. It’s all about tips in bed (for those who’re asking, it’s Carrie 雨千).

Who watches such NSFW content at work and who thinks it’s ok to watch it in the presence of another woman in an enclosed space? Who knows how many videos he watched while my eyes were closed? The more I think about it the weirder I felt.

He didn’t drive off immediately after I alighted. I walked up the stairs of the neighbouring block and watched him drive out slowly and only walked home after seeing him leave.

I was SO TIRED yesterday and I had to make further detours just to keep myself safe. Thanks ah.

I reported this incident to Grab stating he shouldn’t be watching videos while driving in the first place and it’s inappropriate content some more. Grab replied saying they have given warning and will continue to monitor him.

I don’t want him to lose his job, I just wanted him to know this is not acceptable.

Was I being paranoid or he’s being too much

Netizens’ comments

1. Any video he watches while driving would be NSFW
2. It doesn’t matter what type of video he was watching – a PHV driver should not be watching any videos while driving, for obvious reasons.
3. Why are his eyes on anything other than the road while driving and carrying a passenger is a better question. Is the insurance payout that generous?
4. I am more worried about the safety of watching a video while driving, if you dont report this incident, it might result in a serious accident the next time he is driving another passenger

So I’m working in a company since the beginning for 2020. The norm here is you get a 1 year contract and then another year contract, after that it becomes an unlimited contract. If you want more money you gotta talk to your boss about it at the end for the year to get more money starting with the new year. So, last year I got an offer from a company I have worked in before because one of their important employees switches to another position. They offered me $500 more on the spot without me even starting to negotiate, so I could’ve probably even raised that. My salary now is a little bit below average for what I do and my skills (I work in IT).

The new company would’ve been fewer hours, but I later learned that this was actually not the case because I would be employed by the sub-company, which doesn’t have that benefit. I didn’t feel well about that because the boss knew that and simply hid that information from me, and I thought they do less hours so will I when I work there. He even admitted to have not said that on purpose. It would’ve still been a great offer and it was pretty needless to hide that.

So I talked to my boss and told him I have an offer and that I would like to have more money when I get my unlimited time contract extension. And he said, he knows I’m worth it and could easily get that on the market and that he agrees I should get it. He would prepare this at the end of the year and we would talk about the exact sum at the beginning of january. And since I dont like change, I wanted to follow this opportunity.

Well today I learned he didn’t prepare ANYTHING and even said we have to define goals to see if I’m worth it and he meant for 2023. Maybe it SOUNDED confusing because it was the end of 2021 when he said NEXT YEAR, but it was obvious he meant he would prepare it at the end of 2022. Which doesn’t make ANY sense. So I won’t see more money this year, which upsets me so much. He even got angry I talked about the topic and degraded my employee conduct score.

I answered that he never had any issue with my work, except that one time I stayed too long to fix the NOT WORKING TELEPHONE SYSTEM ON A MONDAY NIGHT. I literally got warned for staying longer. like we wouldnt need telephones on tuesday morning or what.

How do I initiate a breakup?

A few months ago, my boyfriend (28M) has confronted to me (23F) that he has bought undergarments from other females out of curiosity.

He apologised to me that he will never repeat the mistake again and I forgave him.

Recently, I discovered that he has subscribed to OF and has DM-ed a girl who offers “services” (tho nothing has happened yet). Yes, he broke my trust again though I love him genuinely..

I am a foreigner and I am currently living with him and his family, which means that I have to find a rental room immediately after I break up with him. A

ny advice on how to bring this topic up to him? And where can I find immediate housing in SG? Appreciate your advice..

Netizens’ comments

1. Get your own place first.even if you don’t break up it’s good for your mental health to have some time apart
2. He is counting on your dependence on him and his family to be his get out of jail card. Call his bluff. Leave him and find a place in a co-living space.
3. Got any friends you trust and can stay with? I’d call on them first if you can, so that you’re able to move out right away. Otherwise, go look at properties to rent immediately. Move your stuff, then have the talk with him.
4. Hopefully you have somewhere else you can stay
5. Other than your bf, do u have any friends in Singapore, that you can trust with this kind of stuff
6. Lol how to bring the topic up is easy. “We’re breaking up. You did X which is a deal breaker for me. Wish you well but can’t be with you anymore”. For immediate housing, you can stay at a hostel until you figure it out, but it’s not rocket science. Either hotel or airbnb, or rent a room/apartment if you can afford it.
7. Find somewhere independent to live, and quietly leave. Don’t rationise or bother discussing. The context will always be ‘in asia/singapore we do it this way’ – will never make sense or be particularly excusable (depending on where you’re from). Don’t bother 🤷🏻‍♂️

Singles with friends getting engaged left and right, how do you feel?

As a 28 M, 5 of my 7 closest friends are engaged; the other 2 are in long term relationships. I feel like I’m stuck at this point in my life after being cheated on last year; no dates in months, very shy in social settings, I think I’m gonna be single forever.

How do y’all remain optimistic? I know relationships are not everything but my literal goal in life is to be a husband (ofc not that of any random girl’s)

Netizens’ comments

1. I personally adopt a more happy go lucky approach. If it happens it happens, if it doesn’t then so be it
2. I’m honestly happy to spend time as a single as I get to do whatever I want but am open to the idea of a relationship if it happens
3. You’re at that age. It’s normal. Between 27 and 31, basically everyone I knew got engaged or married. In the last one standing. I was the last one.
   Never thought I’d be married. Was fine if it never did. I met someone and things changed.
   Life is long. In the end, it’s race with only yourself.
4. Keep putting yourself out there and stay optimistic. My single friends also want to be in a relationship but did not want to step out of their comfort zone. Hard to take their rantings seriously after a while.
   There’ll be heartbreaks. Maybe after some more bad dates or relationships, you’ll decide to be single. But if you never go for it, you’ll never know. Better to have tried and fail than deal with what ifs. That’s how I pushed myself to meet people.
   I have my married friends as examples that if it is meant to be, it will be. You can look to your friends who are in a relationship or engaged to stay optimistic.

I married the “nice guy” and I’m now regretting it…

I’ve been my married to my now husband for nearly 10 years and I cannot ask for a nicer man. He cares for me emotionally, calls/text me every day to say how much he loves and appreciates me.

He is the typical nice guy who treats all women “as they deserve”. And he is the first “nice guy” I’ve dated who is emotionally available and genuinely caring.

However ever since the since the beginning we are “okay” in bed. I have always been adventurous in the bedroom and love a good time. However over the years my drive has increased and his as pretty much become non-existent.

We have spoken about this multiple times over the years and nothing we discuss has actually made a difference. Talking about threesomes (his fantasy) however when I actually set these dates up with a other girl he changes his mind and says no he just isn’t in the mood.

I’ve asked if he is still attracted to me (178cm and only 62kg) and he says yes everytime. I’ve asked if he would be interested in just foreplay to get the mood going and says no he feels like he is disrespecting me if I suck him off.

When we do sleep together it’s very vanilla missionary that lasts maybe 10 minutes then he tells me “how amazing it was and how much he loves our connection”.

I’m getting to the point were I am starting to fantasise about sexual encounters with strangers and feeling like I settled. Did I make a mistake or is this something that can be changed? Is this normal?

Netizens’ comments

1. That has nothing to do with being nice
2. Same situation here, but I just satisfy my own needs 🙂 My fiancé is amazing and I will never leave him just because of it. We talk about it sometimes, and he just says he is not that adventurous. It’s okay, because nobody is perfect.
3. Why is “nice guy” in quotes if he’s actually a nice guy? Lol. I assumed this was one of those dudes who thinks he’s a nice guy but is actually not nice at all. That’s typically what is meant by “nice guy™”.

How do you accept being less well-off than others?

Just saw a post about the younger generation being more entrepreneurial and “richer” in general.

I’m part of that generation, but I’m not well-off whatsoever. I’m not in actual poverty, but I’m in that awkward situation where I’m not exactly middle class either.

Of course I have my own drive and ambition to do things such as invest, work while schooling (currently studying), freelancing, picking up new skills to freelance with, etc.

But it honestly pales in comparison to most of the people I know.

I’m talking about 20-somethings (same as me) driving cars around, able to invest in high value NFTs, balling on all sorts of clothes and “toys” without blinking an eye.

It’s extremely hard not to feel like my effort measures up to nothing. Even with my planned career path, which while lucrative, wouldn’t even compare to them.

Which brings me back to my question, how do you learn to accept this?

Netizens’ comments

Comparison is the thief of joy. No matter how rich you are, there will always be someone richer. Live your own life and be content with your decisions and their outcomes. Money only makes life easier, but it doesn’t bring joy in of itself.

When my daughter was 5 years old, and just starting kindergarten I would occasionally tell my daughter “Just remember, no dating and no boyfriends until you turn 30 years old”.

Wishful thinking, I know.

I told her this her first day of kindergarten, and she replied “okay daddy”.

Then I would tell her the same thing every once in a while. Not too often to be annoying, but often enough that she knew my rule.

Then one day, later in the school year as I was getting ready to drop her off at school, once again I said to her “remember now, no dating and no boyfriends until you turn 30 years old”.

This time she had a totally different reply.

She turned to me, and looked right at me with those eyes that she could use to get whatever she wanted from her dad, and said “Well, if I get good grades all through school, can I start dating when I am 29”?

It took all the willpower I had to not smile and start laughing when she asked that. With a very serious look on my face, I showed her that I was taking a moment to consider what she had just asked.

Then I replied to her “Hmmm…..Well okay, you’ve got a deal. If you get good grades all through school I will let you start dating at 29”.

She replied, “okay daddy”, got out of the car, and bounced her way on into school for the day.

For those who are going to ask, yes she waited till she was 29 to start dating, because she always followed daddy’s rules.

Just kidding.

She had her first boyfriend at around 13 years old, breaking her Daddy’s heart. I mean what did you expect? Kid these days don’t listen to their parents anymore…

Found out I’ve been massively lowballed on my salary and the company doesn’t care. I’m already applying for new jobs wherever I can.

I’ve worked with my current employer for 6 years as a data analyst, my initial pay was lower than the advertised amount due to my lack of experience and I accepted as I was desperate for a job.

Recently we had a new hire and I was showing him the ropes, teaching him about the data and software we use. We actually got along really well and strated chatting outside of work.

The subject of pay came up and it turns out he’s being paid about $10,000 a year more than I am. We were both pretty shocked at this and did some double checking to confirm that we’re in the same role and we are.

I brought it up with my manager and she seemed shocked and agreed something was wrong. We then went to the department head and he initially tried to downplay it, saying stuff like the new guy has more experience and qualifications etc.

I then pointed out I’ve got 6 years of experience and have qualifications in the software we’re using and I’ve been teaching him how to do his job. He backed down and agreed to pursue a pay rise for me. It took about a month to hear back.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get a 10k payrise all in one go but I was expecting something, even just a small bump to get me to shut up.

What I got was an outright “No, it’s not in the budget”. My manager tried to argue for something else, reduced hours or extra days off instead but that was also rejected.

During the follow up with her she seemed shocked about it and while she didn’t outright say “find a new job” all she was able to offer me was some opportunity to work on a project that might look good on a CV.

I was stunned and incredibly dejected. I’ve never felt so unappreciated. I’ve worked late on numerous occasions for this company, I’ve repeatedly had good performance reviews from my manager and dept head and this is what I get in return.

My motivation has plummeted and I struggle to expend even a small amount of effort on my work. I feel like so much of my time has been wasted and I’ve basically put my life on hold with this stupid company.

I’ve started applying for jobs and I can find a new one soon, before I accidentally get myself fired for slacking off or something. Then again, I doubt they’d be able to find someone to work as cheaply as I am.

I just received an inheritance of about $20k and I have no idea what to do with the money. I am unemployed. I had a few grand in savings to start with. I live alone and can generally afford to pay the bills, for now.

I need/want a few things like: new phone, PC, PS5, new clothes, laser hair removal. So maybe… $5k worth of goodies?

But what to do with the rest($15-$20k)? Is there a way I can turn it into more money, with little risk? At the moment I’ve got it in a high interest savings account.

I’ve never had this much money in my account, and although I’ve always been sensible with finances, I really don’t want to blow it.

What would you do with $20k? Any advice is much appreciated!!

Netizens’ comments

1. OP, if you’re unemployed with only a few thousand in the bank, I wouldn’t recommend spending $5k on goodies. Make sure all of your bills are caught up, give yourself $1k and put the rest in a high yield savings account for the inevitable expenses that come up. You’re not going to find little risk in any investment that may make more, and you may wind up losing money.
2. Separate your needs from your wants. As with any windfall, you should pay off debt first, then invest.
3. Instead of finding an excuse to spend the money, I’d find an excuse to save it. Sure, go spend $1,000 but you should really consider saving most of it for the long term.
4. Everything you named off is maybe 3k unless you go really to town on the PC and clothes. You can do a pretty decent budget build with something like a 12700K and 4070 under $1,500. You really don’t need the PS5 if you make a decent PC but still I guess 500. Spend another $500 on clothes. I’m only up to $2,500 so far

My BF can’t stop hurting me and my chest.

Well as the title says. It looks like he’s obsessed with trying to pinch, twist or hurt my bewbs and then especially my nips.

I don’t like it at all. I am very sensitive there and this makes it even more sensitive. Which leads to me not wanting to sleep with him or do anything intimate with him.

He even has a thing when we’re laying in bed, whenever I’m the small spoon he will try to pinch both my nips at the same time in the same hand. It hurts and most of the time he does it when I’m almost asleep.

It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing a padded bra or not, he just wants to pinch or twist them.

Last time I became angry and I had tears in my eyes asking him to not do it anymore. Since I really don’t like it and it hurts. But he just said that my body is his and I should get used to it

We are together for 5 years, he’s 28 and I’m 27 and I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. He just won’t listen.

Thank you all for reading

Netizens’ comments

1. You know the answer. You’ve expressed how serious it is, and his response was ridiculous.
2. Pinch his little brother and ask him how it feels, teach him a lesson.
3. wtf, did he really just say “your body is his”? I’m sorry you shouldn’t have to go through this. This is red flag. I wish you’d understand. he should have this stopped by now and there’s no way your body is his. you shouldn’t have to go through this pain.
4. Grab him by the b*lls. Squeeze. Twist. Pull. When he starts screaming, just smile and shrug. Tell him, “Your body is mine. Better get used to it.”