So I went on a few dates with a guy and eventually we slept together and he stayed the night. He spent the next morning talking and complaining about a previous ex that broke up with him three years ago and also went did a lot of trauma dumping.

So I kind of knew this guy was not really for me and I assume he felt the same, because he said something along those lines.

So a few days later I just text him and just reassured that I don’t want a relationship but if he ever needs someone to talk to, he can message me

(I was thinking of all of the things he was talking about and he seemed so stressed and i was genuinely just offering a sympathetic ear, I do empathize with people easily)

He responds with. “Yeah I don’t want to sleep with you. I don’t find you physically attractive, you were cute clothes on and having lights off helped, but I struggled even getting hard.”

I feel like this is probably the meanest thing he could have said to any women.

I do understand that he was just probably being dead honest. And I understand that he was probably just being dead honest.

I exercise and eat healthy and most men comment that I have a nice body.

But I honestly don’t know how to feel better about this.

Netizens’ comments

1. Once you rejected him, there was absolutely no reason for him to give you a report card on you. It doesn’t sound to me like he’s being honest, it sounds like he was trying to say something hurtful on purpose.
2. people who describe themselves as ‘brutally honest’ often care more about being brutal than honest. You can be honest and compassionate at the same time. no one forces you to be mean that’s a choice.
3. Ummm he was trying to hurt you because you hurt him by not wanting to continue on. The drama dump over an ex 3 years prior???? Guy has issues with women rejecting him. This is so common. He is a pathetic sad man. Please do not give it any credence. Block him and move on.
4. He was not being honest. His ego was wounded by rejection and bitter toward women so he was mean to you as a way of getting revenge.

My dad paid $1000 to a shop in Sim Lim to download the Windows 11 update. How do you deal with stubborn elderly boomer parents who refuse to listen to you?

So my dad told me he paid SGD$1,000 for a guy in Sim Lim to help “update” his PC to Windows 11. All you have to do is download the update, it’s not rocket science.

I kept telling my father that I could update his PC for him to Windows 11; all he did was get really angry at me, insist I’m wrong and I don’t know anything about computers, how I’m going to download a virus into his computer and I shouldn’t be a busybody.

I’m quite upset that he paid $1000, and that the shop owner fleeced him over a simple update & how my father treated me lol. He is adamant that I’m stupid and don’t know anything so instead of listening to me; he’d rather just give $1000 like that to a dishonest shopkeeper. It’s just clicking a button and downloading the update.

Are all elderly parents like this? I feel as he grows older he becomes more stubborn lol

I really don’t know how to deal with him, I feel that I just shouldn’t care, since he has money to burn; and he’s growing old so I’ll just let him be but it does frustrate me.

Netizens’ comments

1. You should shame the shop for taking advantage of your vulnerable dad. $1000 is too much. No way.
2. Your father has the mindset that you are his child and therefore is “beneath” him forever because how can a child be better than a parent? Doesn’t make any sense to him.
   So even if he knows he is wrong, he will double down to avoid losing face because he must be correct what? How can my child know better than me?
   I feel like this is how people who are prideful always become when they do not learn how to admit that the world is changing around them and what they know will become outdated eventually. They don’t want to learn how to do new things and subsequently make everyone’s life around them harder, precisely because they never learnt to be humble and admit they have trouble understanding a concept.
   It must be so very damn frustrating to see him piss away money and ignore your concerns by telling you to essentially f off. I don’t know what you can do tbh. Just try your best show concern but don’t push it any further. After all, like what you said, it’s his money and he does have the right to use it as he sees fit.
3. You may also want to get his receipt so you can file an email at https://www.case.org.sg/ against the store that charged $1000 for an update.
   Also, this shows how he does not respect you as an adult and rather trusts some random guy compared to you.
   Too bad older people are always like this, you have to remember how he is like so you don’t end up like them when you are older.

Failed date because I told the guy he should get a prostitute

I had a lunch date earlier that I thought was going well until it came to actually paying for the food and I was planning on paying for myself but he insisted but oh of course it wasn’t out of the kindness of his heart or chivalrous or anything nooo why would it be.

After we ate he wanted me to come back to his place with him and I kindly said nah cause it was just our first date and he got a lil agitated and kept talking about how I must’ve used him for free food (as if I didn’t offer to pay for my own food..?)

and he doesn’t know why “women are like this” cause we were having a good time and why not continue that.. like there aren’t other things to do that aren’t your house..??

I told him he might as well just hire a prostitute so his money doesn’t go to waste. I technicallyyy meant it as a joke but I guess it’s not funny if you’re blue balled and the frustrated one because he had the most grossed out expression on his face.

As if what he wanted to happen wasn’t just prostitution with a middleman (the restaurant) ? But we just went to our own homes after that one.

He just sent me a text telling me what I said was a weird thing to say on a first date… but so was trying to guilt trip me into coming to your house soo…

edit: in case yall want more of a laugh my food was only $10 cause i got something off the kid’s menu cuz i eat like a goddam child tbh and i have a small appetite

Netizens’ comments

1. Sounds like the last date too
2. Just write this off as a bullet dodged. It’s creepy as heck he’d try to manipulate you into sleeping with him for food.
3. I’ve done online dating for several years. This is the oldest trick in the book. Usually they cancel the date if you stand your ground about changing the date last to their house. I’m going to use what you said next time when I decide to date again.
4. I’m a guy, and even I think that is the most perfect response to what he was doing!! You are absolutely right. Sounds like you really dodged a bullet.

Expecting my wife to support my elderly parents

My wife has a high-paying job and earns significantly more than I do. I make around 40k, while she works in the private sector and makes 300-400k.

We split our finances equitably, with her paying 70% to my 30%.

A little background her parents both immigrated to this country so she and her sisters could succeed in life, and now all have very high-paying jobs, one working in tech and the other being a surgeon.

Meanwhile, my parents worked government jobs, and my sister is unemployed, so we are a relatively low-income family.

My wife did help my younger sister when she became a single mother at a young age by offering her a secretary job at her office, but my sister quit after a month as she found it too difficult. (which I can understand as she was raising a baby on her own)

Recently, her parents retired, and she and her two sisters give them around 2000 every month, which I find ridiculous; why do they need 6k? She assured me this money does not come out of our joint account.

However, when I brought up, my parents were also retired and could use the help. She told me that if I could afford to send it from my own salary, I should.

I was shocked and angry; my parents only had me to depend on while her sisters made a lot of money, so her parents would be fine either way.

My wife told her her parents sacrificed a lot; it is her responsibility, and my parents should be my responsibility.

She says I am being an a-hole for asking her to support my parents when she has never put pressure towards me for not contributing more to our household.

We had a similar argument before about loaning my sister some money to put a down payment on her house, but my wife said she would not use her money as she thinks my sister is unreliable and won’t pay her back.

I just don’t understand how she can be so cheap because she earns so much more than me.

Netizens’ comments

1. your sense of entitlement is vast. You could end up living on only your salary if you keep up this attitude.
2. She’s your wife, not a sugar mama for you and your family.
3. I’m kind of getting the impression your family is a bit entitled. Your wife helps your sister get a job, she quits it. You demand your wife lend your sister money, your sister who lives on benefits, who isn’t working, who most likely won’t pay it back?
   Your wife and her sisters do well because they worked hard and their parents sacrificed. You, your parents and your sister made your own life and career (or lack of) choices. You are all not entitled to your wife supporting you all.
4. If she earns enough to help provide for her parents and still be able to provide for your joint household, you don’t get to dictate what she does with her earnings. It’s not her fault or responsibility to provide for your family. If you want to help out your parents or sister, you need to do it from your own income.

My gf woke me up from my sleep by blowing me… and I kinda like it

My (25M) girlfriend (24F) and I have been together for 3 years and we moved in together about a year ago. We lost our virginities to each other and overall our life has been great.

For the past few weeks I’ve been coming home later than usual due to a project we’ve been working on in my banking firm.

My girlfriend expressed how she didn’t like how we had less time for intimacy so she’s been a little quieter than usual.

Yesterday I felt something weird when I woke up and I could feel her under the covers giving me a b j. A large part of me felt very uncomfortable in the moment because she’s never done that without my consent so I told her to stop and I left for work right after without talking to her.

She’s apologized countless times since then saying that she just wanted some intimacy with me because it’s been lacking lately, so I understood it.

But I don’t know how to approach her saying that I think I kind of liked it. I think I was uncomfortable in the moment because it had never happened before, but I think I would enjoy it again, but I still don’t appreciate how she overstepped her boundaries without telling me.

How should I approach the situation?

Netizens’ comments

1. Just tell her she caught you off guard. But now that you’ve had a minute to think about it, you’re pretty sure you like it. And you’d love for her to do it again.
2. Pretty simple. Just say “I reacted negatively because I was confused but the more I think about, the more I like the idea”. Just discuss it. Let her know that there should have been a discussion about this type of thing before hand and there should be no surprise in the future without consent.
3. Kinda? Can’t think of a better way to wake up and tackle the day.

Old people touching your kids

Having dinner with my family at old airport hawker today and this man walked past my table and patted my 3 year old daughter on her head.

I told him YOU CANNOT DO THAT (你不可以摸她 in mandarin) and then he retorted why not (为什么不可以 in mandarin) and this went on to and fro for a bit until he started shouting vulgarities and walked off.

My daughter was scared stiffed, she is usually super shy with strangers. I explained to her I was scolding the man for touching her.

Now looking back I’m reconsidering my actions. Did I do more damage to my daughter by causing her unnecessary distress? On the other hand I also know that she absolutely doesn’t like strangers touching or speaking to her.

Would appreciate if parents can share their experiences because I believe this is a common occurrence. Thank you.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think u are doing the right thing. It is very important for kids to remember that they should not be touched by strangers. It’s their personal space and we need to help them guard the boundary.
   I rem during covid, there was an auntie who wanted to sit right next to my kid. But my kid is normally the “dao” type and he will speak up for himself. He just tell her, auntie, now got covid. Pls keep the safe distance of 1.5m. Then the auntie just try to chat with him sitting from a distance.
   But I rem he kind of offended an old uncle who tried to ask him, boy which sch are you from? he refused to answer the old uncle then the old man very persistent, keep asking him why he cannot tell him. In the end my boy got upset and look at him, this is personal information! 
2. A stranger touching your kid, no matter how innocent, is a big no no. People sometimes forget that children have their personal space that we have to respect too. Imagine if a stranger went up to the old man and patted him on his head because they thought he was cute.
   That being said, I wouldn’t have shouted at him. I would’ve simply said “She doesn’t like being touched.” in a friendly manner. I’ve seen old ladies on the MRT pinching the cheeks of young children they don’t know. It’s likely their way of saying the kid is cute. I feel like the old man’s reaction was probably because he thought your anger was unwarranted.