My mother is overly critical over everything and wants to win all the time.

For example: –

I order in food from well known eateries to make the family happy and to reduce her burden of having to cook, but she will always complain that the food is too bland or too salty or the food is too hard or soft.

I order in eggs so she does not have to go buy from the wet market. She complains that the eggs that are supposed to be AA size and it does not meet the grade of 70gms at least. (She weighed each piece individually ????????‍) Tried explaining that the seller did indicate +/-70gms but she responded, her threshold is 69gms, anything less is not acceptable.

I buy durians for the family because I know she loves them. She complains that the durians are not as good as the previous batch and has hard spots. (I tried it personally and think it’s alright & still nice)

FYI, I only buy MSW and nothing less, but it is still not good enough for her. She forces me to feedback to the seller which makes me embarrassed every single time. (The seller confirmed the MSW is high mountain MSW and hence, flesh is thicker & creamier)

She can leave her bags and mail wherever she likes for months but if I leave my mail over one day on the table, she screams at me to keep it.

She loves to cook and will always try new recipes and insist the family try. She is not interested to listen to constructive feedback and perpetually praises herself for her wonderful creation. If you tell her she could perhaps make it better by doing this or that, she will cut you off by saying she thinks its nice & yummy.

She takes forever to get ready to get out of the house but if so happens, once in a blue moon, she gets ready before me, she screams at me to hurry. But if you tell her to hurry, she will lose her temper.

She is critical over my hairstyle, my complexion, my size, my child. Nothing seems to please her.

As a result, it is getting increasingly difficult to live with her. I guess the day will come, I will have to find my own shelter. ????

BlueSG charged me $632 for a punctured tyre

Hi all, writing this to seek advice.

I was using one of BlueSG’s car on 10 Apr night. All were fine for the first 15 min of the journey to drop my friend off. The car started to rattle when I resumed driving. That was when i realised something is wrong with the tyre. It took me almost an hour to reach BlueSG (their hotline waiting time is horrible) and the call lady informed me to park the car at the nearest BlueSG lot.

Fast forward to today, I received an email from BlueSG:

“We wish to inform you that as a result of your accident/incident occurring on 09 April 2023 arising out of your rental #5179012 involving the BlueSG car (registration no.: SNJ9798D), you have been found responsible for damages caused to the tyre(s) and associated parts.

In accordance with section 9.5 of the terms and conditions of access to and use of the BlueSG service which you read and accepted when you subscribed to our service, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY AND ALL LOSS OF OR DAMAGE TO THE BLUESG CAR THAT YOU CAUSE WHILE YOU ARE IN POSSESSION OF IT.

Accordingly, you are liable to BlueSG for:

(i) repair costs (for the tyre(s) and associated parts) in the amount of Singapore dollars FIVE HUNDRED FIFTY (S$550); AND

(ii) administration and GST charges in the amount of Singapore dollars EIGHTY TWO AND FIFTY CENTS (S$82.50),

collectively referred to as “Charges”.

We will proceed to impose these Charges on your account within the next two (2) days from the date of this message.

Should you have any queries or require further clarifications, please do not hesitate to respond to this message.”

Just wondering if there is any room for me to dispute this claim given that I have not driven in any inappropriate way that directly lead to the flat tyre (at least I am not aware of).

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Netizens’ comments

1. Their agreement is written in a way that you have zero chance of winning any dispute.
   Just be happy it wasn’t more money.
   Those car sharing companies want you to get in an accident, as its a huge income revune for them.
2. You will have to dispute that you started the rental with the defect and it was the last renter who caused it. I know it’s a bit after-the-fact now, but you need to take tons of photos before start of rental to safeguard yourself when renting.
   More folks need to be aware of this: claiming you excessively for damages is part of, if not the main business model of these carsharing companies. They are not going to be able to stay afloat charging you pennies like a lanshop charge students for playing counterstrike in the early 2000s.
3. It’s not just the cost of the tyre. The lost of rental during the repair period is also charged to OP.

I (23f) agreed to allow my boyfriend (27m) to sleep around and now I regret it.

Earlier this year, I agreed to let my boyfriend of 3 years have no-strings attached hook ups outside of the relationship as long as he followed some rules (use protection, don’t bring them into your bed, etc.).

I allowed this because he expressed to me that variety is something he and many other men desire. I care about him a ton, and wanted to do what I could to accommodate him and his needs.

Before giving him permission, I gave a lot of thought to whether or not I would be okay with the arrangement. I ultimately decided that him occasionally sleeping with a stranger won’t have any major impact on the relationship, and gave the go-ahead.

Now that the deed has been done, however, my thoughts have completely changed.

While nothing in the relationship has objectively changed- he just spent one night with a girl, an event that should have zero effect on me at all.

I can’t explain why it hurts so much knowing what happened behind closed doors. I felt actual pain in my heart thinking about him sleeping with someone else, but for the life of me I can’t explain why.

I would like to talk to him about this, but I fear that a “feelings” argument simply wouldn’t be enough. I wonder if I feel this way because of my own fear and insecurities, and if so, is it fair to push that onto him? Shouldn’t I address those issues with myself before asking him to neglect a need of his?

Did I screw up by allowing him to do this? Is it too late to go back to monogamy? I feel like I made a huge mistake.

Edit: Some clarifications:

he gave me permission to sleep around as well if I wanted

he asked me this in Jan 2023, I waited a month before saying yes, and he finally acted this week

Why does my husband prefer my bewbs rather than piv?

We’re both early 30s and each others firsts. So we’re still exploring and learning together. We are married going on 7 years now with kids but try to make getting intimate a priority as much as possible.

I have bewbs on the bigger side, always have, but recently I’ve noticed that he prefers f-g them instead of PIV. I mean I still love it but obviously I can’t finish through it.

The only thing I can think of is that he lasts a bit longer because generally he has always finished quite quickly.

Through the years I’ve been able to work him through slowing down and lasting a bit longer but his impatience gets the better of him a lot.

When he does slow down (because he literally is thrusting like it’s the Olympics) it’s a lot more pleasurable for me. Even with my bewbs though he doesn’t last a whole lot longer so I wonder why he prefers it.

Once he’s inside me he’s a goner and we love it but we do use condoms (we are done with kids) and on one hand he refuses to go without them because he’s scared like crazy of us having another but the rare time he’s gone raw and pulled out it’s been so amazing and the way he sighs in pleasure just makes me sad for him.

I was hoping for a second opinion on his preference and how I should deal with keeping a balance because I obviously still want piv. Thank you!

Netizens’ comments

1. My guess is it’s simply the condom thing. He can go raw this way without impregnation fears.
   • (OP) He did mention it’s the condom I guess I was just thrown off because we’ve been using them for years. But the past year we’ve been exploring a bit more and I think he’s figuring out his preferences and likes and dislikes so it makes sense . I’ll try to be a bit patient but also other times gently guide him to piv to Maintain a balance. Thanks!
2. Why doesn’t he get a vasectomy? They’re super easy and it doesn’t hurt that bad.
3. Not a man, but absolutely do not use pulling out as contraception unless you want to get pregnant.

Is my value as a partner lowered because I “don’t have” parents

So this incident came about a few months ago but has been on my mind since then.

I was speaking to a group of friends and the topic of parents of partners came about, I’m not sure how but at some point someone mentioned they wouldn’t date someone with no family bonds (etc cut off family, complicated family, no parents)

This struck a nerve because I guess you could say I fall into this category. My dad is deceased since I was young and my mum is well, complicated. we don’t acknowledge each other and to put it simply our relationship is unsalvageable.

The part that shocked me greatly was when many of the other friends actually agreed. *in their defence they have no idea about my family because I’ve never shared.

I just am wondering if majority of Singaporeans from healthy families agree and what are the reasons? Is it because I might not be filial or complicated as a partner?

** not sure if this changes anything but I am a woman which I guess typically = motherhood = healthy family mindset which maybe turns off guys when they find out I probably don’t have a ideal wifey backstory

Netizens’ comments

1. I know of people who will love to have you as a partner, because they don’t have to deal with the “in-laws”, and don’t have to spend time worrying about how to please them, the politics of it, etc etc and that your focus will be on your partner/spouse and not have to deal with other potential family related situations.
   There’s also things like legacy, inheritance (i.e. Nobody to split it with, no complicated family drama, etc)
   Different people look at things differently so don’t be too bothered by it.
2. I know of people who actually stated that they much prefer partners without family ties cos it is less complicated that way.
3. No, but I can see how their thinking comes about. They think no family ties/bad relationship with family means the person has a lot of baggage.
   Personally, I wouldn’t judge a person’s character based on their relationship with their parents. Some people have gone through domestic abuse, violence, etc. Or, alternatively, maybe their parents have passed or abandoned their family. Could be a million different complex reasons, it’s unfair to judge.

Expats/Locals who work overseas, what are things that foreignors dislike about us, especially for workplace?

I will be relocated overseas in 1- 2 years time, would like to know what are things that are acceptable in Singapore but not for other countries. It could be our personalities or how we carry ourselves.

For example, complimenting someone that he is skinny. Or kiasu personality.

A foreignor told me that he disliked when locals keep talking about money. He said there are more things to talk about in this world.

I think I just want to avoid pitfalls especially for my first job being overseas.

Netizens’ comments

1. Work-life balance is very respected. Apart from contacting coworkers after work hours, even stuff like organizing a meeting at 5pm can rub people the wrong way.
   Also, Singaporeans aren’t so good at small talk in the workplace. There are lots of taboo topics I wouldn’t broach with a coworker- things like politics, relationships, stuff that’s too personal. But there are lots of kaypoh colleagues here who will happily ask about your family background, your intimate relationship details, etc.
   Apart from that, some places have their own cultural quirks. Had to learn that “How are you?” in the US isn’t a question, but just a greeting. Answering anything other than “Good, you?” will get you some funny looks.
2. Contacting people about work outside office hours. In some countries it’s against the law or seriously frowned upon.
3. Difficulty innovating, thinking creatively, and making qualitative assessments without becoming embroiled in conflicts of interest.
4. Aussies told me we’re too competitive and serious haha. Sometimes we also don’t speak our mind or speak honestly we can seem aloof, although maybe thats just me 😡
5. A few things I’ve noticed in Singapore (may or may not be a Singapore thing, more just where I worked or the people I worked with):
   – people will ask personal questions even if they don’t know you well; “it’s your birthday how old are you?” or “you only had one kid, why don’t you have more?”); you don’t ask that in Western countries
   – other people have covered work-life balance; when I worked in the US people would make fun of people who replied to emails while on vacation (does this person not have a life?)

Do yall usually leave work on time or will stay awhile before leaving the office?

just wondering, for those working in the office, do yall leave work once it hits 6pm? if let’s say you’ve already completed the work that you need to do on the day itself. or do yall wait awhile before leaving the office?

recently, a person who is from the management level said that “if you’re able to leave work on time, it means that you do not have enough work to do.” do yall agree with this statement?

Netizens’ comments

1. I leave at 4pm to avoid traffic. I’m sure people gossip about it but who cares. My manager is not bothered.
2. If you don’t leave on time, you are either:
   not working efficiently
   working more than 1 person job scope
3. New office, culture is ppl leave during work hours
4. Yeah I do. Actually I leave between 5 – 5.30pm on the days that I WFO to pick up my kids but I do make it up a bit at night after they are asleep.
5. Depends on culture/ your boss. I’ve worked in my current organisation for the last 3 years and changed 2 different business unit so far.
   In the first business unit, I had to report to work on time and I can leave work about 10 mins earlier but I really had nothing much to do at work except during month end. Would usually scroll my phone and wait for time to pass.
   The 2nd business unit, I am taking on more responsibilities and have to OT whenever needed. But my manager gives me the flexibility to come in to work 2 hours later and would always encourage me to leave early if I have nothing left to do for the rest of the day. Their priority is us completing task rather than clocking hours.
6. Sounds like toxic gaslighting comments from management. You will reach a stage where work never ends. Does it mean you are going to live in the office?

I caught my girlfriend trying to baby trap me.

So as the title says, my girlfriend, now ex tried to trap me yesterday. I came on her bewbs, and she ran into the bathroom. I came in to help her wipe off, and found her taking a paper towel, wiping the come, and putting it in her vajayjay. I asked her what she was doing, and she had nothing to say.

I know she has a period app so she always knows what to expect, so I went on her phone last night, on her period app, and saw that she’s 14 days before her period is due, and it says her fertility is high.

I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do. What are the odds she’ll get pregnant? I heard $perm cannot survive air so idk.

Netizens’ comments

1. I want to say the odds are low. However; I wouldn’t be surprised if she lies about being pregnant since she’s clearly crazy enough to pull this shit. Obviously when you know you’re in the clear, run faaaar away. Godspeed man.
2. Even if she later says she is pregnant, immediately tell her you won’t sign unless you get a paternity test. They can be done I believe second trimester? Someone know this?
3. Always wear a condom that you brought yourself and that leaves with you. I’m not kidding.
4. It survives outside the body for about 15 to 30 minutes, and they can survive air. It is unlikely she’ll get pregnant from her attempt. Not completely impossible but very much improbable.
   I urge you to have a CLEAN BREAK with the ex. I mean Zero contact, Zero closure, ZERO everything. Run. Go. Stay gone. Change your contact info. Do not answer the door.
5. They can survive outside the body for a little while until it dries. So, some may have entered her, so the pull out method doesn’t really work.