I am an insurance agent. So many negative and hilarious posts about my job. Thought I’ll offer another perspective to some people who are considering joining.

My credentials: I am under 30, in this line for years, quarter-million annual taxable income, MDRT and all the other awards, blah blah blah….

1. Do not underestimate the privilege of having no liabilities & responsibilities.

I joined this line at 21, and only needed to take care of myself financially. This means I could afford to earn only $12k a year back then while building my career slowly and organically. Treating every day working as a learning opportunity rather than being super despo to close the sale. Those desperate to close the sale usually fail because consumers are not idiots. Then it becomes a vicious cycle, no sale = no money = more despo. Trust me, you will earn like nuts the first few years. That’s normal. Those “successful”, “young” agents that earn money “fast” are liars. There are so many dirty tricks in this industry to con the consumers. If you know you know.

2. Literally get good at money.

So many agents only call themselves “investment specialists” but can only sell their companies’ ILP. That’s bull. I know so many junior agents that do not even have a brokerage account and whatever issues the client has, ILP will always be the answer. While you are earning like peanuts, you should invest your own money and be legit good. Attend courses like CFA, CFP, ChFC, Certified Private Banking etc and APPLY the knowledge learnt. Do your own investments, talk to doctors to be aware of medical trends, be extremely familiar with all the different hospitals processes. Personally, I have certain qualifications and run my own investment holdings company, hence clients trust my advice more than some XMM in a LV bag talking about why her ILP is the best.

3. Network like f.

Consumers can buy insurance online and this trend will increase in the future. So what is the agent’s value proposition? I am the problem solver. Need some free legal advice? I can set up an informal dinner with my lawyer clients. Need a medical appt soon, I can bypass the long waiting time and set one for you within 3 days. Need to divorce your spouse? I know many private investigators and dirty tricks to increase your chances of winning. Need car mechanics and workshops? I get kickbacks from the shops and pass it to you as a form of savings. Need renovators and interior designers? I know people. Wanna get a job in IB (JP, UBS, Morgan Stanley etc), I know people, lemme set up a lunch. This network is exclusive to paying customers only, not even my extended family or friends have access to it, unless they are paying customers. The more the customers pay, the more priority you get in my network. So, it becomes a bidding war among customers and it makes good business sense.

That’s all. You can earn a lot in this career, but it is all blood sweat and tears. Young naive people also quite dumb ah, you think can just suka suka earn $100K fresh out of school, with no qualifications meh? There is always a price to pay, hope this enlightens people out there.

Maybe I shall do a confession exposing how agents appear successful? and churning practices? hahahahaha

I am 27(M) and she is 22(F). We dated for three years and recently broke up mid last year but remained as friends.

While I still harbour feelings for her, she has already moved on and started dating other guys. It was taking an emotional toll on me just to be friends with her, till I told her we can’t be friends anymore for the time being until I have moved on. She agreed and we stopped all communication.

She suddenly messaged me one day asking if I’m willing to be her sugar daddy. She is a struggling student coming from a broken family. She really does not have much money each month. It barely covers her rent.

I am trying to move on, having this kind of relationship is definitely counter productive. I asked her, “what would you do if I say No?” Her reply was to find someone else.

I asked her again, “are you sure you want to exchange S for money?” Her answer was “With my studies, I really can’t work, so my answer is Yes”.

I loved her so much. I even planned to marry her after she graduated. But to be hit with such a surprise is a bit tough and hard to swallow. The girl you loved was willing to sell her body for money.

I really don’t know what to do. To say Yes is stupid. To say No hurts me.

Here are what netizens think:

• Really sad and disappointing to see young girls resorting to prostitution to earn money. Better to avoid her, you don’t know who’s she’s been with.
• Whats her number? My friend wants to talk some sense into her
• I can’t judge her for what she chooses to do as she’s probably in a tight spot but worth considering if she’s been engaged with others for such services.You’ve got a lot more to lose since she’s not into you.
• Don’t do it bro, I know you probably want to do it to “protect” her and I know you still have feelings for her. But it will crush you, to her sex is a means to an end, to you there are feelings attached. You only stand to lose in this situation.She’s an adult, let her make her decisions and let her bear the consequences. You owe her nothing, time to focus on yourself.

Not sure if this is the right place, so please feel free to redirect me if I’m in the wrong place.

After a month of colds, sinus infections and we get didn’t spend much time alone together. It’s two days before I ovulate and my boyfriend and I did it without ‘rubber’.

I insist that he should wear one but he somehow convinced me to not wear it and said that he will not finish inside. He said that many couples try for years without success and we will definitely be not so suay.

It was just one time and I felt that it will never happen to me but my nightmares came through.

My period stopped coming and I was stressed and finally had the courage to buy a test kit.

We bought two just in case, So the first one came out positive and so did the second one. We are really lost and have no idea what to do.

Ever since it happened, my bf has been distanced almost as if he wants to run away without wanting to be responsible.

While we aren’t actively trying nor are we financially capable to get married and unable to afford an HDB.

I’m more curious if anyone did get pregnant from that one time in two weeks because I don’t really understand how it can happen just one time. I know of some couples who try for months without success.

We revealed it to our parents and after a big hoo-hah we are going for regular checkups at the hospital. Guess what?

ITS A TWIN. I knew that there were twins in my boyfriends family and now we are twice as stress as we calculated and barely able to feed one child. How are we going to feed two.

I know a lot of people will be blaming me for allowing it to happen. Are there any financial aids out there that might be able to help us?

Am I an overly sensitive girlfriend?

My bf went out with a close female friend last week. They are close friends who meet up once every 6 months to catch up. While i would actually be ok with him meeting with a friend of the opposite gender 1-to-1, he shared some details with me which made me feel uncomfortable.

Prior to meeting my bf, he had a crush on this girl for 2-3 years during sec/jc days and went on a few dates with her during the beginning of their uni days although there weren’t any romantic sparks between them eventually.

The girl also knew about his repeated interest in her but they continued remaining as good friends.

As for their catch-ups, although he tends to reassure me that it will be a fast meal and catchup session, it often took ~5hrs and he will drive her home after the date as it is on the way.

I don’t want to be overly sensitive about this but he rarely drives his friends home and usually, it is only to the nearest mrt station but for this female friend, he would go all the way out to drive her home. Once when he asked me, I mentioned that i would prefer if he did not send her home, but he got defensive and say its his duty to ensure she got home safely at night and since its on the way, he dont see a reason not to.

Furthermore, he never invites me over to have a meal with her before as he mentioned that they only meet up once every 6 months and he would like to spend the time alone catching up with her instead.

Recently he is very busy with his school projects and we have been meeting up lesser. However, he still took the effort to reach out to his female friend and ask for a meetup while cutting short our dating hours and days. During the entire 5+ hours dinner with her, he left my messages on hold and replied only after he returned home.

My gut feeling tells me that he is still interested in the girl but im afraid im just being overly sensitive. Appreciate some opinions…

I (37f) share a son “Tommy” (13m) with my ex “John” (37m). We split up when Tommy was a toddler so he lived full-time with me and then it was 50/50 when he was around 8. During my first year of marriage, John received a job offer overseas and I initially didn’t want to go with him but John eventually convince me. I never really liked where we lived and would often talk to John about possibly moving back to Singapore, but John never wanted to discuss it.

When we were in the middle of a divorce the idea of me and Tommy moving away was brought up and John freaked out, saying that I had no right to take away his son and I was hounded by his side of the family. Tommy is literally the only reason why I still lived where I did and I have always hated the weather and missed my friends. Before the pandemic, Tommy approached me about living with his dad full-time, and when I asked him why and he assured me that it wasn’t anything about me or where we were living just that at his dad’s place he had more room.

John made more money than me and lived in a four-bedroom house while I had a two-bedroom. I won’t lie and say that I was a little sad at the idea of seeing my son less but I wasn’t going to stop him if he wanted to go. It was agreed that Tommy would spend a weekend a month and school holidays with me while John and I alternated Holidays.

A while back an old friend reached out and it was great reconnecting. It wasn’t long until we found out that we worked for the same company (it’s a nationwide firm that has multiple offices across the world), and my friend offered to give me a recommendation for a new position that I was trying to apply for.

I was grateful and sad that I didn’t get the job but a week later I was surprised when the firm offered me another position that paid more money and offered more benefits. It was also back in Singapore so I would get to be near my family again. I immediately said “Yes” and when Tommy came to visit me I told him about the job and asked him if there was anything he wanted to keep while the rest of his stuff would just come with me.

Tommy asked why I would want to move and aside from the money, I told him that I never really liked living here and was always planning on leaving once he turned 18.

Tommy seemed to take the news well but his dad called me furious and said I was manipulative because our son now thinks that I’m “punishing” him for wanting to live with his father full-time.

So am I wrong?

I am a manager and a local working in a mid-big size company. My employee just handed in his letter last week and I was out interviewing fresh grads hoping that it will reduce my department’s overhead.

However, the first person that HR called to come for the interview made my blood boil.

So this fresh grad was talking about his skills and etc, but that was not what I’m looking for. I don’t care if you don’t have the skills. I want a person that has an interest to learn. It was simple as that.

However, when it came down to the part of salary negotiation I wanted to smack him straight in the face.

I said our company is paying $3,000 for his position and the interviewee said “I am looking for $5,000”.

I was shocked, I said the job ad did say that the position is only $3,000 right and I asked why he deserves so a high salary.

These were his literal words: “The reason is simple, I graduate from a local university and I am considered an elite”.

My next words were “Get out of my office, we will not contact you”. What arrogance!

It really depends on your leverage and how savvy a negotiator you are. New grads have little to no leverage (aside from potential counteroffers) though most are given fair, standardized offers regardless.

Interns are in an even weaker position, so negotiating from that position on any offer that isn’t unreasonably low (“reasonable” would mean one that completely covers the cost of living with a bit left over) is borderline obnoxious. In most cases, an intern is literally being courted and paid to prove that they’re worth a real investment, or at least not screw up.

I’ve heard of instances where companies will retract their offer if you pitch a ridiculous amount. Unless you can back that figure up with another competitive offer, you run that risk. There are also some companies who aren’t interested in getting into bidding wars either, they may reconsider as well after a single round of negotiations.

They say the one that not being loved is the 3rd party?

Im a single mum with 2 young kids. In Dec 2020, i met this guy (C) through a dating app. We went out a few times and eventually got together despite I know he is married. He is not a local, his wife and boy don’t live with him all these years when he is in sg.

Last year, I found out that im pregnant, I decided to keep the baby without thinking about whether he will take the responsibility or not. I didn’t expect him to stay with me throughout the pregnancy journey until i gave birth. I never request him to get a divorce or plan anything for our future.

We are happy with the current status.

However, whenever he goes back to his home country to visit his family or when his wife came over for holiday with his boy, i feel kinda terrible.

He told me he and his wife still stay in the marriage because of the son, no more love between them, How do i know if this is true? He will still text me as usual when he is with his wife. I always wondering that whether his wife ever checked his phone? Now that i have his child, definitely easier to sense something wrong with the husband, is she really dont mind the husband having an affair?

I never want to be a 3rd party in someone’s marriage but its already the fact that we are together and we have a child together and i can really feel his love towards me and baby. Who is the 3rd party in this relationship?

Netizens’ comments

1. You are the third party of course, how do u want to justify or gaslight the wife is actually the third party? Goodness u are just duped by a man who won’t divorce his wife and manage to have you be contented as the side chick having his illegitimate child. How silly is this? What’s going to happen to this child? Did u even think before u do anything? he can just leave and go back to his country anytime – can u wake up and do some planning for future?
2. There is no third party in this relationship. All are main characters! He loves you, and he has a wife whom he doesn’t love much, if at all.He probably doesn’t want to divorce his wife, as it’ll affect their son. His wife doesn’t know about his extramarital affair with you, but the rs between him & his wife is definitely not strong.He certainly loves you more than his wife, so he’s with you and didn’t mind having child with you.You can’t marry him, but you and your child are already an important part of his life. So just continue this way if that makes both of you happy.Plain & simple.
3. So he was married but still go on dating app where you met him? Well, not for us to judge, I guess. There are many situations like this where couples stay together on paper for their kids but actually live separate lives. He sounds like he does love you and the baby. If you are happy with this arrangement then what do you care who is third party? But I think it would suck if the wife found out he had another child even if there is no love between them. Also when your child grows up, how do you explain to him that his father has another wife and that he has a step-brother? If you do care, then have an honest talk about long term plans…..will there come a day when he finally divorces his wife? You are not asking for anything so I guess you are not getting anything and he can have the best of both worlds to his benefit. I would be checking if his profile is still on the dating app just to be sure.

She’s said to my face she wants to marry rich and tried to “teach me” how to seduce a rich man instead of earning my way. She tried her damnedest to put me through gold-digging school as a child. Luckily, none of the lessons ever really stuck around.

When mom left my father after a particularly nasty divorce, she bounced back fast. The divorce case in court was still happening when she started dating Ken. Gold Digger rule number one: Look for a fancy car.

So, Ken had a sporty car. Perfect condition. I could tell I was an afterthought during all this, since whenever I absolutely had to go somewhere, Ken and my mother would just put me in the trunk of this car. Luckily, they have very nice windows. They are pretty cramped, however. Here was the problem with Ken. Ken didn’t want kids. Ken definitely didn’t want me. My mother had him wrapped around her finger.. but he was my worst nightmare.

I won’t go into the details, but he threatens to beat me, threw me down the stairs, put me through hard labour, and at the end of the day I slept on an exercise bench until I was given a bed at the spare room for the year or two years we stayed there. I believe I was six.

Gold Digger rule number two: You don’t have to like them, you just have to make them think you do.
A while later we had a guy over at the apartment a lot. I was a bit older and got the gist of what was going on. He wasn’t much to look at, but he got me a portable DVD player (this happened when I was much younger) and all of the movies I like, then actually wanted to spend time with me. I hoped beyond hope that this was the one. I really, really liked this guy.

He happened to overhear me telling mom how much I loved the gifts while watching my new TV. He also overheard mom scoff, and say: “He’s not here to amuse you. He’s here because he pays the bills.” That was the last time I saw him. Honestly, I genuinely miss that one.

Gold Digger rule number three: illegal money may also count as currency.
The shorter-lived guys were all over the place. I’m still kind of in disbelief that my mom would take me over to these houses, to be real. Some of them were.. really weird. There’s a shady guy she met who has an entire house filled with beer cans stacked along up his walls. It was.. really cool to a kid, but none of the guys really wanted anything to do with me. I just sat on the sofa like a good kid, kept my damn mouth shut, and waited for mom to get her to fix of whatever and finish her romp.

The quicker she got what she was after, the quicker I could go home.

Gold Digger rule number four: Get a guy with an extra vehicle. That way you don’t have to buy yourself a car.
This guy was.. something else. He was really trying to win mom over. To the point where we moved in with him, he bought me a slim PS2, and he gave mom a car that she could use. What he didn’t tell her was that his car was his ex’s, and when she found out where and what the car was being used for, she stole it back— legally.

She also stole everything of value to me, since it was unfortunately in my bookbag.. in the back of the car.

At the end of the day, the guy got tired of Mom or me and He kicked us out. Of course, mom blamed me. I don’t know who’s at fault it was. I was getting really tired of this though.

Gold Digger rule number five: Keep the details to yourself.
This is actually my rule, and I’ll tell you why.

The last guy I care to explain was.. weird. He hired a sixteen-year-old to build a company website for him, then got very upset when some of the HTML wasn’t professional standard. Honestly, I did my best. This guy put me to work though, and I resented every minute of it.

I basically functioned as an on-call secretary for his business, while he and my mother drank and drank on the patio. I’d do emails, screen calls, check information for clients, and somehow have to find time to build this damn website with no help. That’s not why he’s a problem though.

See, one night my mother came home, screaming, with a perfect set of teeth on her chest. They were bleeding, and she was bruised in the face. Mom said that he attacked her. I called the guy and bitched him out as well as a 16 year old can.

In the end, couldn’t do anything because they were drunk and apparently there’s a claim that it was self-inflicted. At the time I didn’t believe it. Now? …Possibly.

As far as my current relationship with her, it’s bad.

We live separately now, and she’s dating a guy named Dave. I’ve never met him, but she’s claimed for a few years that he’s verbally and psychologically mad. She says she’s called the police up there countless times, and has “tried” to kick him out, but he just won’t leave.

I offered to send help up there, and she refused. Why? You might think I’m being unfair, but that brings me to my final rule.
Gold Digger rule number six: He can get away with anything, as long as you don’t have to lift a finger.
Regardless of if she’s in trouble or not, she’s refused my help multiple times. It’s been years. I wash my hands of it.

Oh, and by the way— she absolutely 100% blames me for Ken.

Joke’s on her to be real. I married flat broke. Couldn’t be happier.

I (29M) found out my wife (29F) cheated on me, and don’t know how to navigate a divorce with young kids.

So back in May, I (M29) found out my wife(F29) had been cheating on me with my neighbor/best friend🙃

we have been together a total of 15 years, and after fighting all weekend, I decided I wanted to see if there was anyway to salvage the relationship(I know most people think that’s stupid/weak but oh well that’s what I wanted to do at the time. Hard to let 15 years go).

The following week we are trying to work on things, and end up having “makeup” s-x…..and now we have another child on the way(we already have a two year old).

As the months have gone on, I’m not really making any progress with the situation, and am starting to feel a divorce is imminent on my end.

I guess I’m seeking advice from people out there who have navigated a divorce with young children. Even if we split, we are level headed people, I do feel she is genuinely remorseful, but I don’t forgive her.

We have talked about divorce, and both agree we want equal custody, no one is trying to keep the kids from one another.

Similar salaries so neither side will be looking for child support. Just wanna hear from people who have been through it. Is it as bad as it seems its going to be? Trying to raise two kids under three in seperate households?

Disclaimer: there were a lot of stupid decisions on both sides, from the cheating to start, to us now having a kid on the way and likely getting divorced. Not looking for opinions in what happened, looking for advice on the future.

Netizens’ comments

1. You should DNA test all your kids but especially this new one.
2. If she’ll cheat on you with your best friend then she will sleep with anyone but never admit it. Do a DNA test, don’t be a fool. You can divorce and it still be okay on the kids, just don’t put one another down, leave personal feelings out of it. It doesn’t have to get ugly, the only way to turn it ugly is by yours or her actions due to ego. You never ever stay because of kids. Also, DNA test all the kids. She can’t be trusted and she proved that.
3. Just be sure to get a paternity test with the newborn before making any decisions about custody or getting attached.

I was recruited for this job. At first I didn’t accept the terms for hire but since it was only part time, I took it because I was told this would lead to full time employment and possibly promotion after a year, which is the terms I agreed to.

Instead, they started asking me to come in on my days off, often when I already had plans and always at the last minute ,as well as pressuring me to pitch in money for various outside events that I wasn’t even a part of.

I was made to feel guilty and “not a team player” if I didn’t agree to this.

After about a year and a half of this, and having been denied a transfer on the grounds of: “why would I want to lose a perfectly good employee to another branch?” I decided to quit.

I was surprised when the manager started literally yelling at me, demanding to know why I would want to leave and how ungrateful I was being for even suggesting it.

She wouldn’t even let me explain myself, so I finally said I was living for my health and it was a private matter which seemed to be the only explanation she would accept.

The next morning, (before my shift would have started) I received a letter that said they had given it some thought and had decided they would “accept” my resignation.

Now, I’ve never experienced anything like this before. But from the sounds of it, if they hadn’t accepted it, they would have just expected me to keep showing up?

It makes no sense to me, so I was just wondering if something similar has happened to anyone else?

Netizens’ comments

1. No, they can’t just say “no, you can’t quit”. That’s a movie thing, not reality
2. Boy are they in for a surprise when you’re not there one day!
3. You have the right to resign. You gave notice that you were resigning. This just shows how petty they are by saying they have accepted your resignation.