Last week, I was made an Assistant Manager in my profession after spending 9+ years with this company. Over the 9 years, I stayed on while many turned in their letters.

I took over more work when there were no replacements. When the promotion eventually came, many sent their well wishes and congratulations, but little do they know that I only received a meagre $150 increment with this promotion.

Feeling absurd and angry at myself for staying loyal when many who have moved on and are already way ahead in terms of pay scale.

Here are what others think:

• Actually all the work you have been doing for them in the past 9 years is AM job scope. Due to lack of people, they just decided to promote you to AM to keep you around, and anyhow entertain you by throwing you the extra $150 increment.Should know better about the company during your 9 golden years there whether they are the cheapskate ones or can really pay. Most importantly, $$$ > job titles these days. (if just compare the two)
• That’s why when my company want to promote me to assistant manager. I told them I’m not ready knowingly the additional workload and stress that come with it. And the increment is also nothing to shout about. I’m happy to remain as a senior.
• You got promoted, time to throw letters. You can put in your resume you’re a AM now. It weights higher
• I worked for a the same for around 9 years. First few years was great as increment was reasonably good but bonus was normal. After the 3rd or 4th year, we all stopped receiving increment and bonus as boss said company not making money. I don’t know why but I kept staying. 2 years before I resigned, I got “promoted” to assistant manager without even knowing until HR told me but no increment, just a change of title on name card and HR issued a letter for my acknowledgmentNot trying to compare, just sharing

Just broke up with my fiance whom I share a joint account with. Am I the Ahole for asking for 100% of the money in our joint account because I think he should compensate me for my time wasted on him?

I have been dating my fiance for 3 years and we have been working for 2 years since graduating. He proposed to me last december and since then, I have been asking him to plan for our wedding, which I would prefer to be held as soon as possible because I am tired of working and want to be a housewife.

He told me he would prefer to have the wedding next year because he needs some time to plan the wedding but I want it to be held preferably by end of this year. Since he has agreed to stay at my parents’ house after marriage then there shouldn’t be any issues at all.

I just cannot understand why he wants to wait until next year to have the wedding because actually I was asking for a very simple wedding.

I only wanted to invite our friends and relatives to a dinner at a mid-tier hotel like Pan Pacific and to get very affordable wedding bands like Cartier. He certainly can afford them because he has $30k in his personal savings account and he earns $5k a month.

I’m not even asking for much because I know there are way more expensive places to hold a banquet and way more high-end jewellery brands to get wedding bands from. But he thinks that the wedding bands and hotels I chose are too extravagant even though I have offered to help him pay 20% of all expenses.

Because of all these issues, we quarrelled a lot and eventually I decided to break up with him because I realise he’s a very selfish person who doesn’t even care about what I want at all.

Even the engagement ring he got for me was a small 0.9 carat which cost only $9k although I have specifically told him that I wanted a 1.5 carat.

Now that we have broken up, we are in the midst of discussing how to split our joint account money and he said he will give me half of the money inside, which is only $10k.

His excuse for giving me only half of the money is that he was the only one contributing to the joint account. He did contributed to 100% of the joint account but I was the one who encouraged him to save up.

Whenever he wanted to buy useless things like Nintendo Switch, I stopped him from buying them. Without me, he wouldn’t even have savings at all.

Moreover, I wasted 3 years of my life on him so I think I deserve more than $10k. Honestly, even if he gives me all the money, which is merely $20k, I still don’t think it’s enough to compensate for the 3 years.

But he seems reluctant to give me 100% of the money and kept giving me all sorts of lame excuses. Should I continue to ask for $20k or should I just settle for $10k? I’m so tired of fighting over this.

I was called in for an interview over the phone. I went to the restaurant I thought I was supposed to be at. Told them I was there for my interview and got hired on the spot. Realized after the interview that it wasn’t even the location I applied to.

It’s the same company but a different location.

Should I pretend it never happened and try to go to work as normal? Or should I risk admitting my mistake and potentially losing the job due to negligence?

Here are what netizens think:

• What do you mean the wrong restaurant? Like it’s a chain and you went to the wrong location?
• Yea just take the job don’t bother saying anything. The other place probably though you no-showed and this place probably just took you as a walk in interview because every place is desperate for staff. Show up, get your offer in writing, and good luck at the new job.
• As someone that used to work for a restaurant with a sister location nearby, this used to happen a loooooot. I never thought it was that big of a deal and I was a hiring manager there for years.
• Congratulations! There’s no negligence here. You turned up, interviewed (or at least confirmed your name and that you want a job) and you were hired. It’s your job, if you want it. Enjoy!
• I really want to try this. Just show up at a place you want to work and tell them you are there for the interview.
• Which company is it, I also wanna try my luck and interview there, who knows, i might get the job too lol
• I think you should just be honest and tell them what happened, since you already got the job I’m sure they are impressed by you and will keep you any way.

I went on a second date with a cute Korean guy I met online. He’s a Korean expat.

Last year I started learning Korean. I picked up some new hobbies. One of those hobbies was learning Korean. I wanted to learn a language with a different alphabet, and Hangul is really easy to learn. I picked it up for fun and am not very good at it, it’s slow going, but it is going.

The first date was really basic, and my learning Korean didn’t come up. We just had a fun time and the conversation flowed naturally, so I didn’t think to halt the flow to say it. I didn’t think it mattered, it’s not like I’m any good.

Yesterday during our second date, it did come up. He forgot an English word and said it in Korean, and it happened to be something I learned during my vocab stuff, so I translated.

He was really surprised. When I said I knew some words and was slowly picking up grammar stuff, he seemed really frustrated.

He wasn’t angry but he seemed angry, he spoke in an accusatory tone and asked me why I didn’t tell him I was learning Korean. I told him it didn’t come up last time, and it did now. I asked if it was a problem, because I didn’t understand the reaction.

He cut the date short after telling me I should’ve told him I was “one of those girls.” I don’t know what that means! I wasn’t going to use him for linguistic purposes or anything, and I have a good job here so I don’t want to emigrate over there for work or anything.

Is there some cultural boundary I crossed?

Here are what netizens think:

• You’re definitely not the ah for learning a language. I think he might be paranoid that you might be one of those girls who are obsessed with kpop and a koreaboo. I’ve seen many stories were girls were dating Korean men for the kpop aesthetic. It’s very weird and think maybe that’s where his mind went.
• k-dramas and k-pop music are a thing, so there’s tons of people who are… like that. he might think you’re talking to him because he’s korean so you can pretend you’re dating an idol or call him oppa or something. 

I (24F) am honestly about to break up with my boyfriend for good.

My bf (28M) knows a girl (27F) and were best friends with her for years with her before we met. After we got into a relationship I felt awkward around her so I asked him to distance himself from her a little bit.

I originally thought he did but not only he lied to me about it, I also recently found out that he has cheated at least three times (doing it with the girl and asked for obscene photos via text), even a month before our third anniversary.

She confessed it to me and told me that she’s been in love with him all these years. When I confronted him, he denied it but I eventually got proof of the texts and he apologized saying that he said it was all a lie because he was afraid of losing me.

He really seems regretful and asked for another chance (he’s not talking to her anymore) but I don’t think we will work, he has lost my trust. I already told him this but he’s sure that if I give him a little bit more time everything will be okay.

I’m really trying to have hope because I really love him, but my mood is constantly changing and I’m getting tired of being this sad all the time… do you think people change?

Honestly, I don’t believe that a male and female can be best friends there is always something going on.

Do I continue to try and trust him?

Netizens’ comments

• You wrote that he already cheated three times!! What change do you think is going to happen?
• Good luck but if you let him get away with cheating on you 3 times he has no reason to stop, he has cheated the whole time you have been with you he does not respect you. So please respect yourself and hold your head up high and walk out that door and go NC, plus that will drive him crazy so it’s a way for you to hurt him back without cheating or telling lies.
• Gong dai gong cb, 3 times you still consider going back. Are you a genius.

It was a normal Friday night, no special occasion. I wanted to have dinner with my boyfriend but I was too tired to Google on where and what to eat. I wasn’t feeling well due to minor food poisoning.

My boyfriend then suggested a restaurant in Clarke Quay. (I felt like cancelling the dinner but didn’t want to disappoint him, he travelled to city from far away.)

We went to the restaurant but found that there was a minimum spend of $40 per pax. He refused to eat there and wanted to find a more budget-friendly place. At this point, I was already sweating af and very uncomfortable. My stomach was bloating. I just wanted to find a comfortable indoor location to rest and get a quick drink.

We finally managed to find a place to eat but the total bill came up to $70. My bf was super unhappy. I then asked him why he would choose Clarke Quay if he is not comfortable with the prices. He said he was expecting me to treat him back. Oh my god!

Netizens’ comments

• Dump him. $40/ pax is too expensive? Is he living in 1980s? And all that attitude because he was expecting you to treat him back? Lol. Dump him & thank me later.
• You not feeling well, stay home.He so petty, ask him stay home also.
• Petty guy no good for any relationship. Sure to feel lousy. Don’t be stuck in this pit. Go out to venture more and enjoy having more friends.
• as long as a $40 per head meal is not a daily affair, it should be fine. but the last paragraph really LOL
• If you guys can’t even come to a consensus on who pays or how the bill is paid then why are you still together, next time just split the bill 50 50 so everyone will be happy.

I’m 20 this year and I have been seeing a guy who is 39 years old for the past six months and when we met he told me he was 31.

We met on a dating app and hit it off immediately. While we are not in a relationship, we agreed early on to be exclusive.

Today I did a name search on Google and I found photos and profiles of him and found out that he is actually 39 and I do not know how to confront him with this info because then I’ll have to explain how I found out.

How do I confront him without it seeming like I was snooping/stalking him?

Netizens’ comments

• You are blind when you see the ku ku bird, as long the ku ku bird is working does it matter?
• You have all the right to confirm what he’s been telling you. If he gets mad for it, and accuses you of not trusting him, he would be just changing topic from the actual problem: he lied.
• You have to decide for yourself if your relationship with him is more important than the fact that he’s been hiding stuff from you. It’s entirely your choice. But as a rule of thumb, if you feel like you can’t discuss a problem with a partner, you should probably move away from them. Your need for truth and stability has to be respected, it shouldn’t have consequences for you, because that’s basically manipulation.
• Girl, I mean this as kindly as possible, but the fact that this (potentially hurting his feelings and/or him having a bad opinion of you) is your main concern, instead of “how do I dump this creep ASAP” is exactly why he’s seeking out S with women almost 20 years younger than him.
• Who ask you to think with your cb

I’m (28F) posting here (using my husband’s account) in the hopes of seeking some advice on how to continue with my life when everything feels beyond salvation. It’s going to be a long ride, so I hope you’ll bear with me, but I’ll put a TL;DR at the end too.

Housing issues

I’m currently waiting for a BTO (Nov 2020 launch) which is slated to be done mid-2025. Due to space constraints and familial relations, I cannot stay at my house nor my in-laws’ house. I had been shuttling between my house and my in-laws’ house since 2022, but I can no longer stay at my house for reasons I will explain in point 2. My husband’s room is way too small to fit 2 people, and there isn’t enough space for my things on top of his.

My husband and I had been trying to apply for PPHS since our marriage in 2022 but always got rejected, probably since we don’t have kids. But who would want to have a kid when they don’t even have a place to stay?

I do not feel comfortable with the idea of renting from others due to me being a lone female tenant, along with the exorbitant (and imo, unreasonable) rental rates. I don’t earn enough to comfortably rent a place, and I’m trying as much as possible to save for my upcoming BTO.

Mental health

My mental health has been rapidly deteriorating since I started work and became aware of how toxic my parents were.

Being accustomed to their ways, I did not realise their toxicity, and only after talking to my friends and husband did I realise that their behaviour was not normal. Some examples of what my mom does would be: constantly comparing me to her friends’ and relatives’ kids, insulting me whenever we meet strangers (like talking about how I’m so fat and unfashionable to clothes salespeople), putting down all my work grievances as me just being too weak to handle it, and repeatedly invading my private space. My dad has attitude problems which make him very insufferable to be around, like giving all my friends a black face whenever they visit.

I’m an only child, which people always associate with being spoilt. But the truth is, I was independent since I started working right after poly. I never asked my parents for anything, and I paid my uni tuition fees all by myself. My greatest flaw was being at home and having emotions, I suppose.

Anyway, my mom and I had a HUGE fight after I found out she threw out my clothes without my knowledge, which has left me homeless. This was about a month ago.

I’m currently crashing at my friend’s house, and she’s been extremely welcoming and understanding, but I know this is not a solution.

My mom and I are still not on talking terms. Reconciliation does not seem possible at the moment knowing her pride and how fearful and anxious I get at the thought of speaking to her.

After this incident, I instantly sought help from Clarity, but it’ll take them 6 to 8 weeks to get back to me. It’s been 4 weeks since then, and every day has passed with me feeling more and more hollow and hopeless. I have so many thoughts of wanting to off myself just so I don’t have to deal with anything anymore.

There are other smaller things which do not seem grave enough to warrant a whole point by themselves, but all of them are an added stressor as well. To list some of them out briefly, they are: financial strain, job woes, physical health issues, and difficulty maintaining my hobbies.

My mind is running 24/7 from all these worries. I don’t sleep well, and I’m absolutely exhausted. What should I do?

TL;DR – I’m homeless, riddled with problems and waiting for therapy while trying to stay afloat. I can’t see any solution in the near future, and I don’t know what other avenues of help are available.