Worst date ever

A week ago i was talking with a guy ive met on insta and we decided to meet. To impress him i wore a cute short dress where it showed my legs.

We went for a walk and i was the only one who was trying to talk. He was being quite for most of the time and i noticed that he kept staring at my legs and it made me uncomfortable.

Suddenly he asked me if he could take pics of my legs and i thought he was joking so i just laughed. Then i noticed that he was being serious about that and i got scared and uncomfortable. I made up an excuse to leave.

When i left i saw him taking pictures of my legs but i ignored because all i wanted is to go home.

When i got home i couldnt believe what happened and started laughing. Then a few hours later he sent me some pics that he took of my legs.

He said he’d pay me if i let him take more pictures but i declined and blocked his contact.

I never saw him again and this whole thing was so weird that i just can laugh about this whole situation

Netizens’ comments

1. Yuck. People have things that they are into but it’s okay if you aren’t down with them.That would freak me out. More creepy than funny. For him to offer this on a first date tells me he needs some help. Run.
2. Well you did kinda wore a cute short dress to impress him to begin with so he kinda got a little too impressed by your legs….
3. Magical legs. And yeah, a creepy dude.
4. Use it to your advantage and just get some money out of the dude, since it’s just legs, sell one each picture for $100.

He (M37) threw my clothes at me (F36) and told me to leave in the middle of f-ng after I said I needed him to wear a condom.

This guy (M37) and I (F36) have been causally dating for around 2.5 months. We are casual and not looking for anything serious.

We do go out and also started sleeping with each other about a month into our situation. We both agree we like each other’s company more than the physicality, but he’s been clear it is his top priority.

We have used a condom the few times we’ve been intimate and he has started to push back against it. I told him if we aren’t exclusive then I prefer to just be safe and he took that as I’m implying he’s not clean etc.

The last time we did it, the condom broke and he said that he was NOT putting another one on. I said yes you are or I’m leaving and he threw my clothes at me and told me to go.

I was upset of course and we talked a little bit after but he said he didn’t want to talk to me anymore and I was too inexperienced for his needs.

He felt like I was making things “forced”. He said although he likes me as a person and enjoys our time, he’d rather spend his time with someone he feels more compatible in bed with.

This was new to me since he always said he’s enjoyed it up until now. I know this is a bad situation but has anyone dealt with similar?

Netizens’ comments

1. In reality, you’re not inexperienced, you’re confident and know the risks and he wants someone who’s naive and will let him f without a condom. Flee.
2. Yeah…. He did you a favor kicking you out when you insisted on a condom. and I’ve been here. We were compatible until he thought he could convince me to do it without protection… we weren’t exclusive and I also didn’t want to deal with a pregnancy. Suddenly he wasn’t “feeling it”. And I never heard from him again. Boy, bye.
3. I’m a guy and this is terrible behaviour on his part. It’s perfectly ok that you want to use a condom because you’re more at risk of STDs or pregnancy. I would recommend getting rid of this guy and don’t take part in Fwb.

Dating app scam?

Recently nearly fell victim to a scam situation although I was partly at fault for not identifying some early warning signs.

Matched with a girl on cmb who was really hot but had otherwise near-empty profile, started talking for a week or two, although replies were really slow. 1st warning sign?

Ultimately, we went on a impromptu meet up at a place of her choice for drinks. Her reason for choosing the place was because she frequented it with her friends and was familiar with it. 2nd warning sign?

All of a sudden, she got a call from one of the friends (who she claimed she drank and clubbed frequently with) and convinced me to join 3 of them at his place nearby (seriously how did I not see this was premeditated) for a second round of drinks.

Then, they wanted to play card games with exceptionally high stakes, and even got ready to keep track and score of the winnings and losses.

At this moment I realised they’d likely somehow gang up on me to corner me into major losses so I made up an excuse and left, without resistance thankfully.

Just wanted to check if others have a similar experience, or to share to warn others too, thanks!

Netizens’ comments

1. Lol what nationality? Sinkie girl would have sold you insurance
2. Hotness blinds sometimes
3. Either they really planned a heist against you they poorly executed a warm friendly welcome. Well at least you have a story to share to your friends. Most guys don’t get dates yet alone matches
4. Same, i experienced it once. They will bring you to some ulu establishment and the moment i saw the price of the alchohol was $700/bottle, i left immediately
5. At least you get to meet the girls, 3 somemore? Haha

How do you get past being unmotivated in life?

A bit of context, I lost my job last year (company went bankrupt) and decided to take a break from working. Between then and now there were a few major things that happened in life but overtime I’ve been noticing that I’ve just completely lost motivation in life.

Not in the I want to unalive myself kind of way but basically nothing in motivating me on a daily basis now. Not even the things I was once passionate about, not even gaming, not even Youtube videos. Also not even the constant need to pay bills/food whatnot (I still have savings).

Even when I tried watching YT videos or play games I enjoy, it usually lasts about an hour or less before that enjoyment dies out. Everyday is tiring and feels like just another day.

Does anyone have tips to get past this hurdle? Or is this something worth going to the psychologist for? I do also have anxiety but this feels nothing like it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Ironically, the best thing for slumps is to complete something. Completing a task will give you the dopamine rush to get more done. So you might want to sit down, make a list of goals (money, family, social causes, dreams etc) and stick it on your wall.
   In addition, watch your sleep cycle and make sure you eat breakfast every day, or else do something intentional and digital-free. If you have no motivation to exercise, make it a point to walk when you can.
   Lastly, variety is important. Go to new places. Meet new people. Do new things.
2. Rather than a psychologist, maybe a therapist/counsellor to just work through the issues.
3. Go traveling or backpacking. Hopefully, along the way, you will find out what you are missing out and can do
4. I believe that there’s a reason for everything. Every failure is a stepping stone to success basically. So even if I fail, I just keep at it.
5. I got let go for a mistake I did with regards to a client’s work 3 months ago, so my confidence was rock bottom. I was afraid of applying for jobs for the most part because I feared that the same thing might happen again. While I was jobless, I picked up digital art and used it as a medium to distract myself. Really recommend new things you can do or complete or talking to new people daily (the friends thread has a discord that multiple people join every night to chat and watch shows).
   Only in the past 2 weeks did I start to recover after I came clean with my family and friends about what happened (I used to tell them I was let go because of company’s financial issues as I was embarrassed about my predicament). Being truthful and vulnerable to people I trust helped me to find motivation to move forward in life and I’ve recently started job hunting again. You can try passion projects or consider freelancing to prepare youself for when you find a new job.
   Also, not sure for you but I compared myself to my peers a lot during this phase. Steering off social media was a big factor to help me get back on my feet.

Honestly, I made a pact with myself to no longer date women who don’t work out on a regular basis (and a ‘regular basis’ for me is about 3-4 times a week for at least an hour).

It has to be a part of her routine, like she doesn’t feel right when she doesn’t go to the gym or workout at home; it has to be a part of her lifestyle.

Not necessarily 0% body fat as I’m not into super tight muscular women, but she has to look good and shapely, with or without clothing.

She also needs to eat at least moderately healthy, and not a heavy drinker/non-smoker .

So many women out here refuse to take care of themselves and expect men to just accept and deal with it especially because of this whole body positivity movement, and I’m not with it.

Even if it means only dating 1 girl a year, quality over quantity.

Netizens’ comments

• Yada yada yada.. question is such woman wants you or not? What do u have to offer? Still emphasise look good without clothing, you can last that long meh? 

• You do not have the right to tell us, women, what to do with our bodies unless you are a dietician. 

• U obviously dun train too cos if U did U would know nobody has 0% body fat.

Editor’s note: Eh you armpit lah, not Brad Pitt.

How do Singaporean guys like to be approached?
Hi guys. I’m just an Aussie girl trying to understand how you guys like to be approached. This guy just moved over here in the country a year ago and I have a thing for him. Hopefully he feels the same. We’re somewhere between acquaintances and friends and we have a lot of common interests. We’re both just ex-emo kids that like to hit the gym in the morning before work and goof off at the conference room after work playing DND and Ping Pong. I understand you guys can be a little more guarded than the guys in my country so I just need some advice. P.S. Idk if you’re on here but call me haha.

Netizens’ comments

1. In general Singaporeans are a little inarticulate and sometimes lack confidence when speaking, their education systems emphasises written skills over spoken skills although it’s improving. They generally don’t like mixing out their own circles as a result so they are ‘shy’. However they are usually well raised, honest, generally trusting and family oriented people. The men are not what I would consider to be sexually aggressive compared to Australian men, this is a legacy of their laws that severely punish men who act out against women.
   In short, you’ll need to do the leg work but it can be rewarding.
   Source Aussie guy in Singapore. I have a son who fits the above to a T.
2. I can’t speak for all Singaporean guys but I think that most guys here are starved from emotional connections and feel lonely.Especially as a foreigner in Australia he might not feel any closeness to anyone so maybe if you show him some warmness/kindness it might make him feel attracted.I would say just be yourself and show some interest to him and see how it goes,Even if he is not interested it would probably be appreciated by him to have a girl interested in him in the first place.Dont sweat it:)
3. Singaporean guy married to an Aussie girl whom he met during university. Currently living in Sydney. She was a cheerleader. I absolutely love Aussie ladies – Anglos greek/ Italian origin or ABGs – for their carefree attitude.
   The response you’d obtained from a Singaporean man is empirically age specific. I have witnessed the older Singaporean guys in their 30s to be generally awkward, lacking in confidence and with success tied to monetary earning abilities.
   The younger ones in the late 20s and below tend to be more adventurous aka Kelvin Nyguyen types. You sound like a zoomer so I’d venture in on a limp to guess that the guy in question is also a zoomer.
   Interracial pairing between Asian man and white Aussie females are gaining popularity and celebrated (no negative sterotypes, power imbalance or white worshipping influences) amongst the younger generation so I’d say shoot your shot. If it helps most of my Singaporean male friend as also dating/ married to Aussies (white and Asians).

Partner is angry bc of my night owl schedule/wants me to move out.

I’ve been with my man for 6 years. We’ve had ups and downs, but it’s the most loving partnership I’ve ever had.

I started a job in hospitality recently that requires me to work late (until about 1 am), and then I’m usually so wired after work that I need a little time to decompress. I’ve also befriended some amazing lady coworkers that I love to chat and laugh with until the early morning hours at one of their apartments. I don’t drink, so we literally just eat ice cream and look at stupid TikToks.

My boyfriend is very upset about my new hours and claims he can’t sleep when I’m out super late, even though when I come home he’s snoring peacefully. I feel like he’s just trying to control me, and I don’t like it. He feels like I’m disrespecting him because he can’t get good sleep while I’m out.

To be clear, I only stay out like this once every 2 weeks. This is an occasional situation. After coming home early this morning, he told me he wants me to move out. “This schedule isn’t working for me.”

He doesn’t even seem to want to talk about it. I am baffled, annoyed , and frankly angry because I feel like it’s just another tactic to control me. It seems ridiculous. He can’t afford our apartment without me, but he wants to make all the rules.

Can someone please help me understand where he’s coming from so I can try to approach him with compassion and conciliation? I’m too angry to see the bigger picture here.

Boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) share a computer.

Yesterday, he got an email notification for a Instagram update from an account I am unaware of with a very lewd username. This alarmed me. I know a lot of his passwords (as he knows mine) and I tried logging into it. What I saw was horrifying.

Dozens of lewd videos and pictures of himself (naked, doing things to himself, sending people messages like come ride it). Tons of people sending the same back to him. I dug further and found he had all sorts of websites (OF, AFF, etc) where he posts pictures and videos of himself.

We live together and spend so much time together that I cannot imagine he would be out cheating on me. When I confronted him he said his info was hacked in a data leak years back and that people have been stealing things from his accounts and making fake accounts with that material.

I find that incredibly hard to believe. I thought we had a really good relationship and this puts so much into question; could this actually be a data hack? I have no real grasp on whether or not someone can steal that much stuff. When asked, he said he likes to take videos of himself but never shares it; he claims someone went into his Instagram and stole the info and made another account with it.

Additionally, I asked him to look me in the eyes and promise he was not lying and he did, however, I do not believe him. IDK what to do. I am scared. I am embarrassed. I am heartbroken. I am lost.

Here are what netizens think:

• This sounds so unlikely as to be laughable.
• No, your instincts are right and this is not a hack. It sounds like he’s to the point of leading a double life. I would move on.
• He is 10000% full of S
• How long have you been with him? How old is he claiming these videos are?

A netizen took to Facebook to share how she met a guy from the dating app, Tinder, and that he is charismatic, intelligent and “pretty buff”.

She said that he is 1.75m tall, above her expectation of 1.7m, but because he “appears” short due to his muscles, she is considering stopping dating him.

Here is the story:

“I’m not sure if I’m considered a superficial or realistic woman but there is something that has been bothering me ever since I started using dating apps.

I recently matched this guy on tinder. He doesn’t look tall or at least above average height but what caught my attention was his serious look, charismatic/distinctive look, his intelligence and he is pretty buff too.

After chatting with him for some time, I noticed that we have a lot in common and what’s more important is that he not only does pretty well in his field of expertise but he also has some side hustle that generates passive income.

So when we first met each other, he indeed doesn’t look tall, which I already expected but then when we were standing closer, I noticed that he is actually much taller than me (I’m 1.55m), like legit above 1.7m.

so I just casually asked him how tall he is, and he said he’s 1.75m. I was like wow, it’s unbelievable cos my expectation is just 1.7.

Cares about how others view him

For some reason, he really looks short from far. I’m not sure is it due to his muscular arms, huge upper body frame, and bulky legs. I mean who doesn’t want a muscular bf right, but as much as I enjoy being with a buff dude, I sometimes care about how others view him cos even I find him short.

We actually met up a few times. I’m not gonna lie, but he really looks short when he’s in shorts.

Should I continue dating him cos I really like a lot of his qualities and his height probably won’t matter much to me later in life, or should I stop wasting his time since he looks short but isn’t actually short?”

Editor’s note: I think you should stop dating him because you’re wasting his time and you don’t deserve him, or anyone.