My husband (29M) tells me stupid lies (29F). Would you leave over something so silly?
My husband of 7 years (14 years together) is constantly telling little white lies. I asked him about three days ago to never lie to me again, especially about stupid stuff bc I can’t trust him if he does. That I can never know when he’s being serious bc he’s always telling small lies.
I just found out he lied to me again. A STUPID lie.
We went shopping 2 days ago. Yesterday he makes me a snack with something I swore we hadn’t bought. I ask him when he got it, and he said during our shopping trip.
I say that I don’t remember scanning it (self-checkout), and he responded with “maybe I did, I don’t know.” I was left doubting myself bc he wasn’t really scanning, and I didn’t remember scanning it.
I assumed he was telling the truth and I must have scanned it and don’t remember. I almost felt crazy.
Tonight I find a receipt that had been thrown away and fallen next to the bin. I look at it wondering the price of something else we bought, when I look I realize it’s a receipt I didn’t recognize from the same store.
It included the snack he served me and some other random items. I look at the dates and it was a day after our shopping trip (yesterday) in the morning before work.
I just walked into the room and confronted him. He was asleep, but I was beyond upset, sad, disappointed, and hurt. I straight up asked why he lied to me, especially after our talk about not lying.
At first he denied it, but finally fessed up. He said he thought I’d be mad if I knew he bought it which I don’t get bc he didn’t hide the item, just tried to play it off as if we had decided to buy it. I wasn’t mad when I saw it, just trying to figure out how and when.
I just don’t know what to do about these stupid lies. He’s lost my trust. I don’t think he’d lie about big stuff, but now I don’t know honestly. It sounds dumb to leave over this, but idk what to do.
Is it normal to be expected to continue working and meeting internal deadlines while I am on MC?
I know some tasks have urgent external deadlines and for those I have continued submitting work and keeping things on track but for internal stuff, my colleagues keep calling and texting me to ask for stuff despite knowing I am on MC. And this is not my own work but their work that they wanted me to assist with (and I couldn’t say no because I am very junior).
I find it unfair especially since I am genuinely sick and am struggling to get through each day (not just enjoying at home) but maybe it’s just how work life is and I should get used to it and keep forcing myself to work even when I am genuine sick?
Netizens’ comments
It simply does not matter what your colleagues think, you are officially certified unfit for work for this period of time by a medical professional. Concentrate on healing.
Draw your boundaries well with your colleagues, let them know firmly that you are in no state to work.
If you accept it then it is acceptable to you. If you don’t accept it then it is unacceptable to you.
Take care of yourself! And as hard as it may be, sometimes you just gotta learn to prioritize yourself.
correct answer is no but this is typical SME culture This is something that can be seen in SMEs as well as MNCs, and especially if you are in a PMET role. It also depends on the culture of your workplace.
Happened to me before also, I just pretended to be knocked out after taking meds and replied only at night to their messages and missed calls. It’s partly true anyway, I was on 2 days MC and the meds for fever/flu usually causes drowsiness. The employer almost wanted to come to my house just to pass me work which I thought was crazy. I quit after 2-3 months.
I spend $2,000 on a tailored suit and my wife is calling me selfish and pretentious
I work in an office and make just a shade under six figures. Pretty good salary, but nothing spectacular. it’s enough for a very comfortable living.
I’m 45, married (she’s 47), and we have two kids, a fourteen year old girl and ten year old boy. My wife is a stay at home mom. We’ve been married seventeen years.
I’ve always wanted to have a nice suit. We’re required to wear suits at work, but for my entire career (I’ve always been at the same company) I’ve always had dumpy suits, the “3 for $200” kind of thing.
I’m not entry level but not management, either.
Let me make it clear that I never deny my wife or children anything and have always prioritized their needs and wants. An agreed upon portion of my salary goes to our savings and retirement, some goes to the kids’ school funds, all our bills are paid, we don’t have any debt.
And my wife certainly has a generous allowance every month to get her hair done, nails done, buy clothes, go to yoga, go to brunch with the ladies and so on. Several hundred dollars a month.
My own, personal expenses are very low. My wife herself cuts my hair, I don’t really buy clothes except for socks and underwear, and my wife is most often the one who buys that stuff for me.
Despite me making a good salary, I can’t really justify getting a gym membership for myself, and I don’t want to glom onto my wife’s yoga because that’s her thing and I want her to have her space.
We have our date nights a few times a month so that’s a shared treat.
Anyway, the point is I’ve always been into fitness and have always been a runner and kept in good shape, especially for my age. But my suits make me look like a doofus.
I’ve always wanted a tailored suit and never owned one in my entire life.
I decided right when pandemic hit that I’d start saving money from my lunch allowance since I didn’t go to the office anymore and set it aside to buy a suit from a manufacturer whose ad I saw in one of my wife’s fashion magazines.
I told her I wanted a suit like that, but my wife just laughed it off. As a side note, just one of her several designer purses costs as much as the suit I eventually got.
Well, fast forward almost two years and I had a nice pretty chunk of change for myself. Even though I returned to the office long ago I got used to just making my own lunch and saving money.
I looked at our expenses at home and didn’t see anything that needed to be bought or repaired. Kids’ college fund is up to date and all debts are paid, wife still gets her hair done and goes mall shopping and gets her salon fix and all that, as always.
For the first time ever, I got myself measured for that suit I wanted. I bought it.
My wife doesn’t really get up before I go to work so the day I first wore it she didn’t see me leave in it.
But she saw me when I got home and she was really shocked and asked me if I went to a wedding without her or something.
I was really proud of myself and told her how I saved basically $20-30 a week for a year and a half and how I got myself that fancy suit from the ad.
She told me I looked really good and I thought she was proud of me for saving money like that. My kids told me I looked like a model. I know they were just building me up but it still felt good.
And at the office people were giving me compliments all day about how amazing I looked in my tailored suit.
Lots of men at work wear tailored suits by the way, and from what I’ve read, tailored suits often cost way more than what I paid. It’s just that no one is used to seeing me look so good at work.
Friday is usually jeans day at work but just to be a little funny I wear my tailored suit every Friday and it’s become this silly office thing where everyone knows that’s my “formal” day.
I have no plans to buy more tailored suits but I feel so happy and good when I wear it because I saved for it and it’s mine and I know I look good in it.
Yesterday (Friday) when I came home my wife took me aside and told me I was very selfish to spend all that money on myself and that wearing tailored clothes was pretentious, like I’m punching above my weight.
I felt horrible she said that and asked her if there was something she wanted that cost $2,000 dollars that she would have rather I spent the money on.
She just said it was sneaky for me to buy something so expensive without telling her.
I dunno. She spends money at will from what I earn and I don’t ask her about it. If she wants something she buys it. If she wants to spend $50 on lunch with her friends, whatever.
The only thing I guess where she has a point is if she wants to buy something especially pricey, like if she wants a new wallet or shoes that cost more than a few hundred dollars she’ll ask me if it’s okay and I’ll always say yes, use your best judgement, bills are paid and it’s fine.
Maybe I should have told her before I bought it.
I realize now that I didn’t tell her because deep down I knew she’d shit all over my plans.
No.
I’m not trying to look good for any other woman, and yes, wife and I still bang regularly and well.
I just feel like crap.
Still not going to stop wearing my Friday suit though.
In a recent incident at Northpoint City in Yishun, two teenage boys were captured on video engaging in a fist fight that required intervention from a man who was passing by to break them apart.
The Video Emerges
On October 6, a 38-second video of the altercation surfaced on the Sgfollowsall Telegram group. The incident took place on the third floor of Northpoint City outside a shop that was closed at the time. The cause of the fight is also not disclosed.
The Physical Altercation
The video begins with the two teens engaged in a heated exchange. One of them, wearing a dark blue top, is seen striking the other teen wearing a red shirt and carrying a red backpack, who was seen on his knees.
The situation escalates as the teen in red manages to return the blow. The altercation leads to a momentary pause when the teen in the dark blue top shoves his counterpart into an empty shop and hits a chain outside the shop that was used top block off entry, causing it to fall.
The boy in red then hit back and gave his opponent one tight slap in the face, almost hitting the puberty out of him and presumably caused him to forget his IC number for a little while, before walking away.
The boy in blue then confronts his opponent once again, before a man who was passing by then stepped in and tried to break up the fight, as the boy in red then loudly exclaimed “HE START!”.
The video then ends.
School Involvement
The teens involved in this altercation have been identified as students of Chung Cheng High School (Yishun), according to Shin Min Daily News.
Upon learning of the incident, the school promptly took action. Both students received counseling to address the incident, and a spokesperson for the school added that the boys were not injured from the incident.
I keep crying in waves. It doesn’t feel real. I’m ready for the hospital to call and say he came back to life. I was supposed to be with him.
This man is my soulmate. There is nobody else like him. He is 28, his birthday is next week. I am 23. We renovated a house together and had primary custody of his 4 year old daughter. My life is completely entangled with his.
Every stupid item in this stupid house is him. It doesn’t feel real and I want to wake up. I will never forget his mom calling us and screaming he was dead. We were gonna start a business together, I wanted to have babies with him. He is the most amazing father, he did everything for her. We haven’t even lived here for a year.
I used to see videos of other people who had lost their partner and simply couldn’t imagine it happening to me and my perfect life. If I would have known when I kissed him goodbye that it would be the end, I would have never let him go.
I was supposed to go but woke up with a stomach bug. I should have powered through it and gone with him. He would still be alive.
This pain is unreal. I simply don’t want exist in a world without him. This world is absolutely hell.
24-year-old Meenachisuntharam Padiselvam was convicted of voluntarily causing hurt and sentenced to 4 weeks imprisonment on 10 October, as weel and fined $800.
The drunk man refused to leave the last train at Punggol MRT station that was heading for the depot, before attacking an assistant station manager who ended up with a concussion, before stripping down to his underwear and taking a seat on the train, according to Channel NewsAsia.
The Incident
The incident began at around 12:15 AM on 16 January earlier this year, when Pandiselvam was spotted in a train carriage at Punggol MRT Station.
The assistant station manager, a 55-year-old, observed that Pandiselvam had bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet, clearly inebriated after consuming two 180ml bottles of vodka.
The assistant station manager approached Pandiselvam and requested that he exit the train. However, Pandiselvam refused to comply, resulting in the assistant station manager physically removing him from the train.
Escalation and Scuffle
As Pandiselvam was being escorted off the train, he became increasingly agitated and began throwing his belongings around the platform.
The assistant station manager attempted to de-escalate the situation by helping Pandiselvam locate his lost earpiece.
Despite the assistance, Pandiselvam still refused to leave the area. At approximately 12:20 AM, the assistant station manager warned Pandiselvam that the police would be called if he did not comply.
In response, Pandiselvam turned aggressive and pursued the assistant station manager, who sought refuge in a train cabin to evade him.
Inside the train, a scuffle ensued, with Pandiselvam pushing the assistant station manager against the train door, causing the latter’s head to hit the door multiple times. The chaotic confrontation was finally interrupted by another station employee.
The Aftermath
Following their separation, Pandiselvam stripped down to his underwear and sat in a train cabin.
The assistant station manager had sustained a concussion and abrasions on his jaw and elbow, requiring three days of sick leave.
In a startling revelation, a viral Facebook post has brought to light the deplorable conditions within a condominium in Bangkok, Thailand, after a tenant was evicted over concerns related to keeping pets in violation of condo rules.
Rented unit to a chiobu
The Facebook post, originally written in Thai, details the harrowing experience of a condo owner who rented their property to a seemingly pleasant female tenant.
The tenant, who was described as attractive and friendly, reportedly moved in with a partner who was equally visually appealing. However, the situation quickly deteriorated due to a dispute over pets.
Never pays rent on time
According to the post, the tenant consistently failed to pay rent on time, with some months seeing no payment at all. The situation escalated when the condo management and other residents began to complain about a strong odor emanating from the unit.
They claimed the odor resembled cat urine and feces. As a result, the condo management warned the tenant to remove the pets or face a monthly fine of 1,000 Baht (approximately $30) for each day the violation persisted.
The tenant was given a deadline to remove the pets and subsequently move out, to which she initially agreed. She mentioned that she needed time to finish packing and deal with a bathroom issue. However, after several weeks passed, the landlord decided to check on the condo’s condition themselves.
Flat ended up like rubbish dump
What they discovered was beyond shocking. The condo was allegedly in a horrific state. The tenant appeared to have left piles of garbage throughout the unit, and the bathroom was reportedly filled with human waste, making it nearly uninhabitable.
To make matters worse, it was revealed that the tenant hadn’t paid the water bill in months, and when questioned about the assortment of pills and medication found in the unit, she could not provide any satisfactory answers.
Reported to authorities
In the end, the landlord had no choice but to evict the tenant and report the situation to the authorities, leading to the social media post that has since gone viral. The landlord expressed their concern for the cleaning staff and noted the difficult and emotionally draining experience of dealing with such appalling living conditions.
The post has generated significant attention on social media, sparking discussions about tenant rights, property management, and the importance of thorough background checks and regular inspections when renting out properties.
I’m a stay-at-home mother to two preschoolers and I shouldn’t have read my husband’s private messages.
As the covid measures relaxed over the last few months, my husband has been going out drinking after work with his friends on Fridays and sometimes even Saturday nights. He typically leaves home before dinner and only comes back home at 3am or later. The man deserves to unwind and do something enjoyable after working hard for the family but I still find it hard to accept that he chooses to enjoy such activities when he is married and is a father of two.
He works throughout the day while I am left alone with the children even when things get tough when the children are home and sick. After I get the children back from school, it’s often a mad scramble to get them to eat dinner, shower, and get ready for bed. In between caring for them, I still have to do other chores like washing up the dishes, preparing their bags for school the next day, clearing the rubbish, and other household chores. My husband, tired from his day at work, often just lays on the couch with his phone in hand, scrolling through his social media, texting with his friends or watching shows on Netflix. My children are very attached to me and often doesn’t allow their father to do things for them but I feel that there is plenty for him to do to help me during the evenings. It’s tiring for me to keep asking him to do stuff for me while I am juggling the children so after some time, I stopped asking and he is more glued to the couch than ever.
Prior times when I told him about his behavior, he told me how tired he is after work and how much the children doesn’t want his involvement anyway. After years and years of asking him to improve his relationship with them, he still spends the 1 to 1.5 hour window with his phone rather than with children. He is so tired from Mondays to Thursdays to do anything significant for that short time and yet he finds the energy to go drink and socialize for 7 to 8 hours AFTER a whole week of work. This is what gives me anger, disappointment and exhaustion.
I was burnt before in a relationship where an ex cheated on me and I only found out after I instinctively checked on the private messages. This time after repeated weeks of partying outside, I had a nagging feeling and I checked on my husband’s texts while he was asleep. I found out that he lied/covered up on two occasions at least. There was one night where he went to a young, female stranger’s house with her friend for drinks. It was someone whom they only met that night and yet he told me that it was a house of his friend.
Then recently, he went out till almost 4am to drink with his friends who were meeting with a very pretty woman (I’ll name her Pretty H) that I know as an acquaintance. Pretty H came back alone to visit from abroad with the opening of the borders and was married quite recently. In the chat my wife’s friends asked her why he disappeared with Pretty H after the drinking session. My husband actually went up to her hotel room alone and said he only went to pee and slept on her bed, drunk. He told them that he cannot remember much and yet “nothing happened” because he is out of her league but jokingly said that he could have raped her.
So to me, nothing happened not because my husband sees himself as married but because Pretty H isn’t interested in him. My husband’s friend then told him to tell me what happened because it would looked very suspicious if I ever found out. I’ve waited some time and he really didn’t tell me a thing.
Three individuals convicted for working as food delivery riders without a valid work pass and two individuals convicted for abetting them
On 10 October 2023, three individuals were convicted for working as self-employed foreigners without a valid work pass. They worked illegally as food delivery riders. One Singaporean and one Permanent Resident (PR) were also convicted for abetting the said offence under the Employment of Foreign Manpower Act 1990 (EFMA).
2 Following their convictions, the three foreigners will be permanently barred from working in Singapore. The charges and sentences imposed on the five individuals are as follows:
S/N
Name of individual
Charges
Sentence imposed
1
Ng Teik Chuan (“Ng”), 36-year-old foreigner
One charge under the EFMA for being a self-employed foreigner without having a valid work pass.
One charge under the EFMA for being a self-employed foreigner without having a valid work pass.
Fine of $3,800
3
Chaw Soon Yaw (“Soon Yaw”), 28-year-old foreigner
One charge under the EFMA for being a self-employed foreigner without having a valid work pass.
Fine of $5,000
4
Muhammad Mubeen Muthibbi Bin Sahul Hameed (“Mubeen”), 47-year-old Singapore Citizen
One charge under the EFMA for abetting the illegal self-employment of a foreigner who does not have a valid work pass.
Fine of $3,800
5
Chaw Soon Song (“Soon Song”), 23-year-old Singapore Permanent Resident
One charge under the EFMA for abetting the illegal self-employment of a foreigner who does not have a valid work pass.
Fine of $5,000
Case Details
3 Investigations by the Ministry of Manpower (“MOM”) revealed that:
Between May 2022 and March 2023, 36-year-old Ng worked as a food delivery rider using the MilkRun and LiveExpress applications. He made over 1,300 deliveries and earned around $17,000 from his work.
In March 2023, 37-year-old Amanullah worked as a food delivery rider for four days using the FoodPanda account belonging to his friend Mubeen, a 47-year-old Singaporean. Mubeen agreed to share the use of his account despite being fully aware that Amanullah was a foreigner and that it was illegal for Amanullah to work as a food delivery rider. Amanullah earned around $540 from his work.
Between December 2022 and March 2023, 28-year-old Soon Yaw worked as a food delivery rider using the Deliveroo account of his brother, Soon Song, a 23 year old Singapore PR. Soon Song had offered to share his account with Soon Yaw to supplement Soon Yaw’s income, despite being fully aware that it was illegal for Soon Yaw to work as a food delivery rider without a valid work pass. Soon Yaw earned more than $2,000 from his work.
4 Court proceedings against foreigner Muhammad Syazuwan Bin Sharil for being a self-employed foreigner without having a valid work pass, and Singaporean, Low Kim Soon for allegedly abetting the illegal self-employment are ongoing.
Advisory on undertaking employment
5 MOM takes a serious view of illegal employment and will take action against any individual involved in these acts. Under the EFMA, only foreigners with valid work passes are allowed to work in Singapore, in the occupation as stated in their work passes. Foreigners who are self-employed without a valid work pass may be liable to a fine not exceeding $20,000, imprisonment for up to two years, or both. Upon conviction, their work pass privileges would also be suspended, and they will be permanently barred from working in Singapore.
6 Local delivery platform workers who are found to have allowed foreigners to use their accounts may face the same penalties as the latter.
7 Members of the public who come across suspicious employment activities such as companies employing foreigners without valid work passes or know of persons or employers who contravene the EFMA are encouraged to report the matter to MOM at 64385122 or [email protected]. All information that is shared will be kept strictly confidential.
This is quite complicated, so I thank you in advance for your patience.
A. THE BARE FACTS
• In August last year, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend.
• In September last year, she attempted to reconcile with him and even professed her love to him.
• Around two weeks ago, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend again.
I broke things off. Since then, she has apologized daily and promised that she is a changed person.
B. MITIGATING FACTORS
She is not emotionally healthy.
• Without going into too much detail, she was subjected to a very traumatic S experience in her late teens. The scars run deep.
• She was neglected by her biological mother. As a result, she suffers from an avoidant attachment style. She led a fairly promiscuous lifestyle prior to meeting me.
• She suffers from depression and anxiety.
• She has a slight problem with alcohol.
• She has trouble with boundaries.
• Her ex-boyfriend is a narcissist, and she claims to be struggling to break away from him.
• She is very successful professionally.
• She is in a complex financial predicament at the moment. I am very successful, and I have offered her money twice. But she has declined on both occasions. She takes great pride in her ability to provide for herself and her loved ones.
• She has never lied to me, as far as I know, but she does keep many things close to her chest.
C. WHERE I STAND
Do you know the sense of joy you feel when you complete a 5,000-piece puzzle? I feel something similar to that whenever I look at her. She fills my senses in a way no one else can.
Every facet of her personality appeals to me. I can feel that she becomes different from me. Her gentle and sensitive side comes to the fore with me.
I’m an introvert, but with her, I feel like a different person. I feel comfortable expressing myself to her.
She knows all of my quirks and flaws, and she accepts them.
I love her ever so dearly. I dream of raising a family and growing old with her.
I used to feel responsible for her wellbeing. I felt that I can help to fix her and help her get over her traumas.
My problem now is, I have great trust issues. I feel she is still in love with her ex. Last year, her ex-boyfriend told me he can have her anytime he wants. Those words haunt me now, because of how easy it is for her to cheat with him.
The past half a year has been very, very tough on me. I have been hurting bad. I feel emasculated. I feel unloved. I feel so small. I cry all the time.
The truth is, I cannot cope with another betrayal. But at the same time, I love her so much. The thought of going through life without her makes me choke up – I feel a paralyzing sense of loss when I think of a future without her.
Love is bigger than pride, right? She needs me, right? I should give this another chance?
