I feel unloved and neglected by my husband. We have only been married for 4 months and the intimacy has gone from 2 times a week when we were dating, to once a month, now once every 2 months.

He doesnt show me the physical affection he used to show me when we were dating. He used to hug and kiss me spontaneously, now I have to ask for a hug and a kiss, and the kiss is just a quick peck on the lips or cheek.

I’m currently in my 3rd trimester awaiting the baby’s arrival and I know very well that once the baby arrives, the intimacy, the love, the affection will disappear entirely. I feel lost, unloved, and dont know what to do. I have asked him before about the lack of intimacy or affection after marriage and he said he is tired after work, which would be understandable, but he now has an assistant to help him with his workload at work as compared to not having an assistant and having to do all the work himself when we were still dating. Maybe he is no longer attracted to me anymore because of my huge pregnant belly? I honestly dont know.

I also feel like there is a wall between us. He is always using his phone to surf fb when we are in bed and we barely talk. I feel really unprepared for my baby’s arrival and I dont know whether he feels that way. He doesn’t even research on anything baby related to prepare for the baby’s arrival. I am always the one suggesting to go to baby fairs, courses, webinar, brainstorming what to get for the baby. I feel so unloved and neglected and I have no one to talk to about this situation I am in.

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s worried about lighting the flame and then creating a dent in the baby’s head.

• Married 4 months but last trimester pregnancy, was this a shotgun marriage? Sorry but if it was so, there is a high likelihood that he’s not prepared for parenthood. That might explain his disinterest. It’s best you find an opportune time to have a talk with him about his emotional distance.

• Some men are like that. Once you’re preggy he’s done with you. Its a shotgun marriage right? Sorry for being blunt.

• Normally advice and suggestions are helpful but you’re pregnant and he sheild be more sensitive, caring and empathetic instead of logging out conversationally and logging into Facebook.

There is something I hear about a well-known JC. It seems like a great school, students are smart etc. But what I heard was that the culture of the school is actually far from great. Teachers are v academically driven, lack of concern for students’ well-being. Students are stressed up (although that could be the case in any other sch as well). In the mornings, there are teacher(s) who shout at students to get in the assembly hall on time.

My own sister, many years ago, had attended this JC. She was a sought after sports person and played for the school. However, she was struggling in other areas and did not get the support she needed. In her year 1, one of her school mates attempted/ committed S…….

She thought to herself, why can’t it be me? Shocked at her own contemplation, she decided a change was needed. Finally deciding to quit school, she consulted one of her teachers, who merely asked her if she could play for the school team next year. A shocking disregard for her well-being. Just wanted to use her to get a trophy the following year, aloof to her struggles and distress.

When I recounted the recent stories about this JC, she was surprised that the culture did not seem to change at all.

Recently a famous football superstar visited this school, which I had the rare chance to attend. Understandably, the crowd was wild with excitement. Oddly, there was a group(s) of students boo-ing at the guest. The students were wearing their Victorian shirt. I was just bewildered why their behaviour. Even the primary and secondary sch students behaved better than them. And these JC students are going to be the leaders of our future? Makes me think what kind of values the sch inculcates in their students.

I wanted to share this story, hopefully to reach out to students, teachers or alumni who could share more about their own experience and what needs to change. There could be many students there who are genuinely struggling with issues on their own, although it seems like a ‘top’ jc. Grades are important but hollow without social and emotional intelligence.

The govt now says that ‘meritocracy is not just about schools and grades’. How will this be reflected in our schools, and JCs in particular? What needs to be changed?

I wanna ask other ladies for their opinion.

It was my birthday last week my boyfriend of 2yrs told me he would cook a 3 course dinner for us.

I was actually really excited and thought it was romantic of him to do it. So on the day itself he asked me to go hangout with my friends so he can stay home and prepare the food and stuff right.

Fast forward to dinner time he sat me down and told me not to come into the kitchen cause he wants to surprise me then poured me a glass of wine while he prepared the appetiser. Then the main course and dessert. Food was good and i felt really happy. I cant explain the feeling lah but its not the same as eating in a restaurant.

Anyway after dinner he was cleaning up quickly threw the trash and we sat down to watch a movie. I was thirsty and went to the kitchen to get a drink and guess what i found on the floor beside the trash can.

A receipt from a restaurant with the food i just had for dinner! This means he didn’t actually cook it. He bought it and told me he made it. Now it makes sense why he didn’t want me in the kitchen or the house. He went out to buy the food and just reheated in a pan on the stove. My heart sank. Not because he didnt cook the food but because he lied saying he did. Why did he have to lie about this? I’m actually really sad that he wasn’t honest with me. He didn’t have to pretend he made it. I get it maybe he was trying to impress me but hello? Im already his gf he doesn’t have to impress me anymore.

If he made me spaghetti and meatballs i would have been very happy that he took the time to make something for me already. I don’t understand why he had to lie. He doesn’t know i found the receipt too. I just feel really cheated and lied to. How am I supposed to trust someone who would lie about these kinds of things? How should i confront him?

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Is it really so hard to send a text to tell someone that you are not interested? Why do people choose to ghost the other person when it comes to dating?

While there are decent girls out there who are respectful enough to let me know that they are not interested to meet again after I ask them out again, these girls are few in proportion to the ones who would just ghost. And to make things worse (and I’ve experienced this a number of times before), a good proportion of these girls who ghost, would not just ghost, but they would agree to meet again first (after meeting initially), and then say that they need to check their schedule and that they would get back to me, and then never gets back to me.

It is obvious that there is a decent chance that the girls who did this, were already aware they didn’t want to meet again, but chose to lead the guy on by agreeing to meet, and then ghosting afterwards (Usually they would have a more open schedule before, but then “suddenly” they have to check their schedule etc.). Perhaps because of their selfish reasons of not wanting to face the discomfort of rejecting someone directly, so they chose to lead someone on like that, or to simply ghost.

Even if you initially truly wanted to meet when you agreed to it, but then changed your mind after, shouldn’t you at least have the decency to let the other person know, instead of carrying on the facade of wanting to put in your part of the effort to make the next meetup happen? And then eventually ghosting?

There was one who agreed to meet again (after meeting a few times), but then when trying to set up the time for it, she would always have some kind of reason why she has to delay or reschedule it or any of the like (whereas for previous meetups, she was much more able to find time to meet). And this carried on for some time until I eventually got so turned off by her character, I decided not to see her again.

Some people may say “Omg just take the hint already she doesn’t want to meet you again!”. But how hard is it to communicate that directly, instead of playing around with the guy like this? Am I suppose to assume that every girl who agrees to meet, is basically lying from now on? Am I suppose to assume that every reason a girl gives for needing to reschedule, or for being busy with school/work/whatever, is basically a lie from now on? What if she genuinely wants to meet but is really busy? See what I mean? Clearly, communicating directly that you do not want to meet (again), is the most effective and mature/respectful way.

If guys have to guess around and assume that your “yes means no, and no means yes”, and do guesswork with your hints, then how do you expect anyone to take your words seriously and be able to trust your words?

On top of that, why can’t the girl just send a simple text, “Sorry but I don’t think I want to meet again. I think we’re not compatible, I enjoyed the time together with you though!”, instead of falsely agreeing to meet just to ghost, lying that you would get back to the guy when you know you’re just using it as a means to reject him in an asshole-ish way on your part.

I’ve learnt that some girls do these lying and ghosting acts because there are guys out there who would go crazy and insult the girl after the girl respectfully says no (due to the guys’ huge ego unable to accept rejection), or there could be guys who may do even more crazy things, and this is why some girls do not give a direct rejection, but rather choose to lie and ghost. If the guy showed signs of being a crazy creepy person I get it, it is probably for your safety to ghost.

But what about the majority of guys (I would like to believe it’s the majority, correct me if I’m wrong) out there who are actually decent human beings, and showed no signs of being some crazy person (the meetups were fun, or even if not fun, at least it was a normal one)? Do they deserve to get dicked around by a girl like this? Couldn’t you at least reject someone directly and respectfully, then if the guy turns out to start insulting you afterwards, you block him?

If a girl rejects me directly, I can at least respectfully acknowledge it, wish her well, and move on. It saves us both time, and allows the rejected person to move on without being led on.

For the decent girls out there who are shocked by this, yes, girls like this exists out there. I’m sure that many guys experienced this at some point in their lives before too. Also, I’m not saying that only girls are capable of being assholes by leading people on and ghosting like this, I’m sure there are asshole guys out there too. But as a guy myself, it is far from uncommon to come across girls like this. And the girls who do this are also not what you may be picturing in your head, you may think that these must be some girls who carry themselves without much respect for others, who carry themselves wildly and behave obnoxiously. But no, from my experience, the type of girls who do this are as common as the common girl you see in Singapore.

For new graduates confused abt pte housing fret not.

The most impt to be able to afford quality housing is ur salary. For pte housing, we try to aim for 8k starting pay at graduation as this will max out ur cpf oa contribution which u can pour into ur House

By 3 years into your job, your pay shld be 12k.

Don’t buy a car. Please. Take mrt and bus. Adult Concession is just $128 per mth. Treat pte hire rides as a sin.

If you want a nice house early, DO NOT transfer to SA. Transferring to SA will cause issues with downpayment of 25%. Don’t believe in those 1M65 idiots.

Transferring to SA is stupid coz if u can max out your cpf ceiling of 102k per year from age of 27, you will hit frs even without transferring.

You are permitted to eat avocados.Unlimited amount. I personally eat 4 daily. Quite cheap ntuc sell 4 for $6.95. And quite filling.

Keep your daily expense to less than $20 excluding avocadoes. Use sim only. Don’t change phone too frequently. Cancel unnecessary Netflix Disney subscriptions. Don’t give parents too much money. Under report ur income to them. Just max two credit card and pay ur credit card fully each month. Too much credit card affects the loan u can get next time. Don’t buy too much new clothes, make up, accessories. Limit ur insurance spending by buying the correct things. Buy term insurance. Critical illness can opt out. But full hospitalization insurance is a must. Cancel gym. Go use the public fitness corner.

If u do the above, you shld be able to gather cash + oa of 600,000 by age 30 to 31 if girl and 32 to 33 if guy. Then u pour it into your downpayment and stamp duty for the first 2 bedroom rcr new lauch or 3 bedroom ocr new launch.

Tldr: avocado is not the problem. The problem is not earning enough and spending too much money.

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Hi my fellow singaporeans. Just here to rant something out, and I would like your opinions in this!

I lent my bicycle to a close friend of mine because he wanted to use it to do food delivery. Prior to this, a few days ago, I told him before that my bicycle was not in the condition to be used for food delivery anymore- My bicycle is 2 years old, and the last servicing did was a year ago.

But I still lent him my bicycle because he was jobless and had no money in his savings. He also called me on the phone personally and asked for the favor as there was a surge in delivery fares during that time period. As such, out of empathy, I lent him my bicycle.

When he returned my bicycle back after working, I did not do any checks because I trusted him, and locked it as per usual.

Five minutes later after leaving, my friend went back to my place and asked if he had left his wallet at my place. My family and I saw no sights of his wallet around, and it looked like he lost it while he was working. Here comes the strange part. I offered him to ride my bicycle back home as he lost his Ezlink card as well, and he refused, and he chose to walk back home. I also offered him to use my bicycle to go look for his wallet or the police station, but he turned down my offer again, and say he will look for it tomorrow morning and he will call the police on the phone. I found it weird as to why he was so reluctantly in using my bicycle.

True enough, the next morning when I was going to ride to the supermarket. I realized that my left brake BROKE – It was so obvious as there were zero pressure when I use the left brake. I could only pinpoint the fault to my friend who used it the previous night, and when I confronted him about it, he denied about knowing anything and commented that the left brake was already “loose” but not broken when he returned back. He did not bothered to justify himself, but just said that he didnt know.

I went on to fix my brake for $25, and ever since that confrontation, he havent talked for four weeks. I am suspecting because he is ashamed about facing me, or he’s really just busy.

I hope you guys can understand that this isnt just about a broken brake and the money spent, but its about a matter of integrity. I used my bicycle countless of times, but there were no issues when I get back home, but the moment I lent it out, something happen.

Any fellow Singaporeans had a similar experience like this? And so what do you think I should do? Take $25 as a lesson for knowing this person, or give him my benefit of doubt and text him?

So I (18M) lost my virginity with my girlfriend (19F) of 3 months but there were some problems

So i (18M) have been with this girl (19F) for 3 months now, and 3 days ago we finally did it, it was the first time for the both of us, not to go into all the tiny details but we ended up doing it for about 40min, im not sure whether to be impressed by myself or concerned because i just couldnt finish

its not that i wasnt excited, but there were some slight technical problems during the beginning and i kept getting stressed out or nervous

and yesterday we almost did it for an hour and a half to no avail. Im just down cause i dont know whats happening and because she will think that its her fault or something.

Is there anything i can do for this to not happen again, maybe spice things up?

Netizens’ comments

1. You don’t need to spice things up, you were nervous and trying to figure it all out that’s so normal! It actually sounds like you guys did a great job for your first time
2. My suggestion would be to experiment more with foreplay. Find out what you each like and dislike and progress from there. Not only will you both become more comfortable but you’ll also relax more which in turn will make it easier for both of you to enjoy it. Stress and being nervous play a big role in your ability to climax.
3. It happens to the best of us. Probably just the nerves. I couldnt finish with my girlfriend either when we first did it. I was so focused on what she was thinking of me (it was the first time she saw me completely naked) and if she thought things felt good, and making sure i was feeling good that i couldnt quite fit getting off in there. We had a good time regardless and im a lot more confident now. Just communicate things with her im sure shell understand.
4. Congrats ! Just communicate with her that you are just worried or nervous and getting used to sex, if the problem stays for longer than a couple weeks maybe consider visiting a doctor but really it’s probably just nerves. Tell her that you are enjoying it even if you can’t finish and make sure that you take care of her needs as well.

It’s so hard, I can’t see the point anymore. I quitted the fifth job, only 2 weeks in.

I don’t know why, I just felt so overwhelmed and all of the sudden I stopped being productive, can’t do anything at all, everything in my mind is literally the thoughts normal people shouldn’t have

I have seen a psychiatrist before but it ain’t working (mainly because it’s hard for me to open up when my parent are with me, the docs made it compulsory that one if then have to come with me), prescribed meds ain’t working and I don’t want to ended up overdosing so I stopped going for checkups. Don’t want to end up having a company found out I have mental issues in my medical history too…

I got my degree cert on march 2021, literally doing nothing but get a job, got overwhelmed, can’t sleep well and having s thoughts, then quitted job

I’m already pass my mid twenties, everyone else, even my younger relatives are buying houses, doing well in life. Here I am feeling like a waste of space

It’s my second month back to jobless, pretending to have a job. I go to the place where I think no one else would recognize me, and spend the day browsing jobs.

I’m so sick and tired of myself, I spend my parents of money getting a degree, got into debt, over two years I haven’t paid a cent

My parents don’t talk about it Infront of me but I observe more than I talk so I know from their responses, during gatherings, when their successful brothers and sisters talking about how well their children’s are doing, that they wish their kid can be like them

I don’t even understand the meaning of my existence other than leeching off my parents, can’t function like a normal human being, like a defective human being.

The only valuable things I have is my body, wouldnt take me a second thought to agree if I can just undo my existence and refund the money spent by my parents on me, I’m literally their biggest investment failure.

Just tryna find a place to vent, thanks

Car sharing (shariot) damage quote 10x, what should I do?

I accidentally pump diesel (5LTR- my bad I knowww) instead of petrol on my car rental. I was rushing to return back the car and did not notice until the cashier inform me at shell station.

I did not start the car after pumping in the diesel and immediately called shariot. They took the car and quoted 1300 for a clean and flash of petrol tank as well as replacement of fuel filter and pump for $300. (Note: didn’t start car, so not required)

Overall they also quote 3 day loss of use: 450. Tow is 120 Total 2.3k damage But when I check outside workshop, they quote as below:

Fuel clean and flush: 150
Tow: 60

Ready in 1 day How can I dispute and ask shariot to understand the exorbitant cost and have any one got into this issue?? Any advise please:(

Netizens’ comments

1. In my 20 years of driving, I’ve only heard of people accidentally pumping petrol into diesel vehicles. You should have extended the rental and sorted it out yourself instead of informing them. I doubt there’s anything you can do other than pay the cost.
2. How the hell? I thought diesel nozzles were larger than the petrol ones and wouldn’t fit nicely into petrol cars. How’d you manage to do that?
   Either way, just pay the fine. If you want to dispute, it’ll be a civil case and you’re gonna pay more for a lawyer.
3. Sad to inform you that a big part of revenue for these car sharing companies comes from such accidents. They hope their users gets into accidents so that they can hand out ridiculous charges. Nothing much you can do since you already accepted tnc before usage.
4. I’m surprised you never pump Slurpee into the tank lol

New hire makes $20k more than me

Welp that just about does it for me. I’ve posted here before about this bs job I’ve stumbled upon and the absolute BS I have to put up with in it but today might have just signed it off for me.

So I’ve been at this job like a year and a half. Recently we hired a new person to do my exact same job at another company branch.

Being the senior analyst, I got sent over to train said new hire today. In the course of discussion, I ask him what they started him out at to which he replies very nonchalantly, “Like about 82k.”

I’m sitting there stunned. Legitimately. Right now I’m sitting at 65k. My coworker is at 62k. Never in my life have I ever felt so betrayed by a company.

I’m glad for the new guy. He’s super cool and does great work, but I was just left feeling so upset. I don’t even know what to do. Part of me wants to just walk in tomorrow and quit outright, and part of me knows I can’t afford to do that. What a damned horrible feeling.

Netizens’ comments

1. Start looking for a new job. Thats the only thing you can do bc if they’re underpaying you, they are doing it on purpose and it’s gonna take a lot for you to even get a 10k raise, better off just putting that energy towards interviewing elsewhere
2. That’s when you update your resume. It really seems to be alot easier ( relatively speaking of course ) to find a new job than to pry a decent raise out of a current employer
3. At least try to ask for a raise. Just be prepared to leave if they don’t approve. You know it’s in their budget now.
4. New hire is market rate, you are an old rate. They aren’t just going to bump you up, you either need to push for market rate or go to the market.
5. Get a competing offer and prove market value, the company will most likely match. Don’t be upset at the company or the new hire. The fact that you came here to bitch instead of writing your resume tells me the company was right in paying you the minimum to keep you, and you likely can’t do better on the open market.
   You got two choices, accept it and go back to work tomorrow and stop screwing with your career, or go get a better offer in hand and prove me and your company wrong.