Boyfriend doesn’t like eating me out.

I (f20) have been with my boyfriend (21m) for 5 years. We have a great relationship overall except for when it comes to physical intimacy.

I’ve been finding myself resenting him for never eating me out and also jealous of other women who talk about their partners who love to go down on them.

He claims it’s because he’s sensitive to smell and won’t unless I’m fresh out the shower. Thing is, even when I’ve showered he still won’t do it.

I’ve asked him to do it but he never is excited about it (and tbh does it badly so he can get it over with imo) I LOVE giving head and making him feel good, even if he’s worked all day.

It makes me upset that that feeling isn’t reciprocated, like my pleasure doesn’t also excite him. I feel like he’s such a loser for saying it’s the “smell” that makes him not want to even though he reassures me it’s normal and natural he just doesn’t like it.

Idk just a rant, any other people out there have a partner like this? I feel like I’m the only one.

Netizens’ comments

1. You two are simply not compatible in bed. It’s completely okay for him to not like to go down on you, it’s also completely okay for you to want someone who does. If this is as serious as you think it is to you, which if it is that’s completely fair, then simply break it off with him and find someone who does.
2. You didn’t ask for advice, but I’m going to offer some… you are far far too young to be frustrated in bed with a long term partner, there is plenty of time for that when you are older and married. Find a partner that makes your satisfaction in bed a priority.
3. Oral isn’t for everyone. I’m kind of ambivalent on it myself. So is my wife. So that works out great for us lol. If you’re not compatible with your partner you should probably exit the relationship.
4. I just want you to know, it’s not your smell. It’s incompatibility. Scent is a lot to do with how we experience our partners. If he doesn’t like yours, I assure you there is someone out there who will. And the fact that when he does do it it’s bad? Time to move on.

How do you actually meet women after leaving school?

I work alone 90% of the time + in a male dominated field.

As far as hobbies they are also male dominated as well, I game and go drinking with my guy friends every week but they don’t know any women either.

I volunteer as a teacher for underprivileged kids but there’s no women my age there and we don’t interact with other volunteers too much.

I also train martial arts and lift weights but again those are male dominated. Im a musician but not in a band. Im not attractive enough to get attentjon on dating apps.

I want a relationship and eventually a family but I feel I can’t even meet potential partners let alone get a date. I dated in high school and had female friends in college but now idk what to do

Netizens’ comments

1. Hey, I found my bf (and ex) on a dating app but I can understand where you and the other OP are coming from. I’ve considered different options and it’s not easy to meet new people of the opposite gender, who are suitable for dating.
   Some options for you to consider, which I did when I was single.
   -join activity groups, pick up a new sport or interest. If you want to be practical, join something on your own so you’d be “forced” to socialise. Since you wish to meet women, join something where there’s generally more women.
   -workplace: if yours allows for socialising or mingling, go ahead and join. Someone may have a friend to introduce etc. My colleagues have offered to introduce men to me, I found it awkward but it seems like it can work.
   -dating events: I didn’t try this but have heard of a few. Probably the paid ones are better if you can afford it?
2. OP you go fishing in tubs of sausages for what? Go fishing where the fishes are at. Join Yoga classes, Pilate classes, Dance Classes etc
   Where it is primarily women’s sports.
   You already know that you are not getting the exposure you want, sometimes you have to change the activities you are doing inorder to meet more women. You have to go where they hangout.
   Come join my dance studio for a trial class if you want.. we want more new male leads.
3. why not try the dating app instead of not even taking the 1st step, if you can get that 1 match that ends up being your future wife, why not?

I slept with a sugar daddy who scammed me and I pretend it never happened.

He lured me in with a simple text on the seeking website—$3,000 per month, with an extra $500 just for an initial meetup.

I had walked this path before, meeting men who’d handed me $200 for a simple lunch date or $800 for more intimate encounters.

I’m well aware that there are more honest ways to earn a living, but I was obsessed with fast and easy money. I didn’t stop to consider the toll it would take on my soul and my body.

I know many might say I brought this upon myself and that I needed to learn the hard way, but to survive the aftermath, I built walls around my mind and pretended everything was alright.

This was uncharted territory for me. I went to meet him, and the dinner was just okay. I put on my facade of control, as I always did, but when he began talking about money, he could sense my interest immediately.

He dangled things in front of me, like “I can get you that designer bag if you work hard enough for it.” And then, he offered me $700 on the spot.

I ended up meeting him at a hotel, and it turned out to be the most nightmarish experience of my life. I couldn’t even pretend to enjoy it.

He asked if it was good and tried to convince me he was big when he really wasn’t. I told him he was, but deep down, I knew he didn’t believe me.

I didn’t fully grasp the gravity of my actions because I kept repeating to myself, “I really need the money.” Then, he handed me two gift cards—one with $500 and another with $200.

My naivety struck me when I found them empty when I got home. He texted me back the next day, and when I asked about the cards, he stopped responding. And that was that.

I hold a good job, attend school, and am blessed with a wonderful circle of friends. Yet, I allowed this darkness to infiltrate my life. What does this say about me? I’m cheap right? Prostitute?

The intercourse was consensual, but it was far from enjoyable, and he ruthlessly exploited my vulnerability. The shame that gnaws at me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, but my way of coping has been to erase it all and pretend it never occurred.

But it did happen. I allowed a man to use my body for his pleasure, and he cunningly scammed me in the process. I’m burdened by a sense of repulsion, but paradoxically, I feel nothing at all because, in a twisted way, I believe I brought it upon myself.

Perhaps this is my karma; I don’t know how to make sense of it. I may appear fine now, but deep down, I’m far from it.

I just need to share this with all of you, to let these emotions flow freely. I’m still so young, and I’ve made a terrible mistake. It’s a pain I hope to never endure again. My path ahead is one of healing, of dedicating myself to my studies and my career.

Sometimes when before I sleep I can smell him, or hear his voice when I close my eyes. But I have to tell myself, over and over, that it was never real, that it never truly happened. The pain is so overwhelming, and the burden feels unbearable, but I have to find a way to move forward.

I’ve been “quiet quitting ” for a week and have never been more relaxed.

I work in a high-stress medical setting and have been for 8 years now. I’ve always been talk to go above and beyond for work.

Over the last 4 years I’ve been increasingly burnt out and my salary does not seem to match my effort.

However this past week, after a particularly nasty mental breakdown a few weeks ago, I’ve been doing the bare job requirements and it’s been lovely. I now feel like I have more energy for my life outside of work, and more energy to further myself personally.

Remember it’s only a job, do what you have to and clock out.

Netizens’ comments

1. Can we stop calling doing the job you are paid to do “Quiet Quitting”? That is just marketing capitalists are doing to make it out to be something bad.
   You are just doing exactly what they are paying you to do.
2. agree with you. Last year I really made an effort to leave work right on time. I wasn’t staying just to finish work I could do the next day. I don’t stay to “chat” with coworkers talking about work because it’s not worth it, I just bounce and leave once my time is done. I think that simple thing for me has helped me tremendously because I’m putting myself first.
3. I learned the term “quiet quitting” last year, I’ve been doing that my entire working life, 20+ years. Doing pretty good, work hasn’t stressed me in 15 years since changing careers.
4. Other than retaining my job, I have zero reasons to “go above and beyond.” I could be saving the company money on in office goods as well as negotiating better terms but there’s so much yellow tape and lack of wage increases that I won’t be doing that at all.
5. The only people that profit from going “above and beyond” are executives and owners shareholders.
6. I work in healthcare and I’ve had periods where I’ve only done the bare minimum or less. It does feel like a thankless job sometimes.
   I’ve also had periods where I’ve gone above and beyond, but mostly in an effort to make my work environment better for myself and my coworkers. I’ve led lots of projects and committees about safety issues and process improvements. It usually isn’t appreciated, I feel most of my managers hate me because I call them out on their crap. But at the end of the day I feel like I’m providing the best care I can for our patients, and hopefully a little peace of mind for myself.

I missed my daughters birth because my wife valued our daughter being born on 2/22/22 over me being present.

For our second child, first girl, my wife was told she needed to have a c-section. The doctor we have only allows a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks.

My wife had the option of picking any day of the week and really wanted our daughter to be born on 2/22/22. I cannot lie that is an absolutely awesome birthday, but that was the only day of the week I could not be available.

A coworker, in advance requested to be off that day, and while I tried negotiating with my boss he said I couldn’t miss work that day.

I pleaded with my wife for weeks but she would not change the date saying ‘her body her choice’. And I agree its her body, but I did not want to miss my daughters birth. I didn’t want to wait hours to be able to be able to hold my daughter. I also wanted to be there for my wife!! but she did not even seem to care.

She just wanted our daughter to have a cool birthday over me present. Its been hurting me to know from weeks in advance that I would miss my daughters birth.

Four hours ago my daughter was officially born and I have yet to hold her. I have so much emotions stirring inside of me at the moment and I have to keep a straight face due to being at work.

Netizens’ comments

• Yeah no offense at all but, I’d walk off that job site without a seconds thought.

• His wife chose a birthdate over her husband. Of course a crappy manager is going to choose the company over an employee, that’s to be expected, but a wife choosing something this trivial over her husband is unforgivable in my opinion.

As soon as she knew that date her husband could not be available, that date should have been off the table.

So a bit of context, I am in a Cougar-cub relationship, meaning old girl young boy. This type of relationship is getting popular I think, but still looked weirdly at. But my family is open-minded so it’s no issue.

Met this 39-year-old lady through tinder, she’s very petite, blonde hair decent i guess, and im very tall and lean with long hair, and we both have our fair share of tattoos and share the same skater vibe so we instantly hit it off we have been in 3 dates, waiting on a fourth due to her being in the process of moving to a new place. She works as a dance, gymnastics and choreography instructor and looks amazing, and im a boring 22-year-old geek.

So I really like this lady and honestly, even though it’s fun I’ve been looking to not be single for a while but just haven’t clicked right yet with anyone. And I would go all-in with her except for a couple of issues I’ve noticed.

Through our month of texting and during our dates she never brought up her having a son, I only found out when I finally decided to open an Instagram account and follow her since I’m not a social media person but she is. And a couple of photos down there she is with her 18 yo son on his birthday. I have no issue with her having a son but I do find it weird that it never came up in conversation. Maybe he’s not living with her or didn’t want to scare me I don’t know.

And the second thing that concerns me is that she recently (like 3 months ago) got out of a relationship with a 23 yo guy, and when that came up during our first date, she went on a real rant about it, maybe coz it was still fresh. Everyone likes gossip so it was fine, but it does raise a flag with me like, maybe it’s too soon for her to get into another relationship like that breakup was partly the reason why she decided to move.

Here are what netizens think:

It’s been a month and three dates. I personally think you are overthinking things. There’s no rush to get to the relationship stage is there? Let things bubble along naturally.

You may find out along the way that she’s not what you’re looking for anyway but you don’t know her well enough yet to make that decision.

I find it very common on first dates that people ask, how was your last relationship, how it ended or why and how u feel about it.

The fact that she does not mention her son is not a big deal especially if hes 18. I myself usually always mention that I have a child but In my profiles But some people like to keep it separate.

I need different opinion, POVs.

Im 25, working at my current workplace for 2 years. I managed to persuade my managers from 3.5 to above 6k in 2 years. Or maybe Im just lucky, teammate on leave, reservice, etc. So I was assigned to replace them for that period of time, and maybe I proved to my managers I can do it, hence the increment?

Anyways, I know above 6 is honestly very high, considering I’m only a diploma holder too. But I’m getting really tired, I don’t look forward to work here anymore. I’m sick of my managers and supervisors.

My issue is I want to quit but I am scared I cannot find companies that is willing to pay so much for someone with only 2 years experience. Also, my current scope is totally not what I’ve studied, and I honestly and no interest since the start. Can I find a job of my preferred role, and still have same range salary? Or am I stucked at this role.

Please speak your mind, I’m fine with any constructive criticism. I don’t do sweet talk either.

Here are what netizens think:

• Don’t stress up. Progress yourself as much as possible. Go upgrade yourself. Education ia life-long. In between, get yourself professionally upgrade before engaging to degrees. We don’t buy degrees like SICKCA. What you learn professionally with job experience stay with you. Beef up your experiences to gain better entry to University degrees.

• Pretty naive to think that you get 6k salary with the stress and responsibilities of a 3k job.

• Well you asked for that salary, you got what you wanted and the work that comes along with it. No such thing as high pay and shake leg or maybe there is, i don’t know. If you feeling burnt out from the current job, go for a vacation. Relax your mind and soul.

If you worry bout not being able to get the same pay or higher for job next job, ask yourself if you’re willing to be in the current position again in your next job opportunity. Like what others say, no such thing as free lunch. If no, then maybe can down size the pay to find a job that’s okay for your well being and mental health.

I have friends who’s willing to work low pay as long as they got time for themselves or their family. Yes, money is important but it’s not really everything if your well being is affected. Life’s a marathon, not a race. Don’t get burnt out chasing papers. It will eventually come to you if you put your capabilities to good use.

If whatever you’re doing is not to your interest, maybe time to explore other option/industry? Take up certifications to jump to another industry maybe?

I don’t even know where to start, I feel sick and horrible that I took this long to find out. I found out my brother in law cheated on my sister sometime in the first two years of their marriage and that she’s staying only for her kid and me to have some kind of family and support.

We lost both our parents during her marriage, mom just after her marriage and dad a year later. she has been married for 4 years now with a kid. I was borrowing her laptop when I found a document of what she has written over the years and I feel horrible. I knew she was not happy and I thought it was only a few petty fights but not that he cheated and that she was dealing with the crazy from her in-laws as well.

I didn’t take the loss of our parents well and I got into a messed up relationship that didn’t work out after which I buried myself in schoolwork.

My sister was my only support throughout all this time. She encouraged me and supported me. I am ashamed to say I was dealing with my own garbage issues which pale in comparison to what she was suffering so much on her own.

She has mentioned she just wants to leave and start over but has never spoken to me about it. As much as this scares me, I want to get them away from him and his family as soon as possible. I just graduated and I have a job now. How can I plan to help her leave him? Both financially and legally to leave him?

Here are what netizens think:

• Tell your sister to start calling lawyers. Maybe you can do it so her husband doesn’t find out.she needs legal advice and a plan to leave. She needs a lawyer. You don’t stay for the kid you leave for the kid.

• Well not sure of the exact circumstances. But. If your sister is in this situation and can’t ask for a divorce and leave? 
• Collect evidence and lawyer up.

How do you know if it’s time to stop trying for a girl?

I like this girl, and have been trying to find ways to tell her that I feel something. She responds positively to my compliments and we have normal conversations. I find opportunities to offer her that extra ticket to an event that I want to give her, but so far twice she said she was busy.

How to sense if its an indication of disinterest or if she genuinely is busy and actually did not think much about my offer?

Here are what netizens think:

• You already got the answer to the question. Let me tell you, if someone is interested in you, you don’t have to try so hard and you will get their consent to go out. Learn to read all these signs so you won’t bang your head against the wall. Why not work on yourself and shine and you will see the result.

• Why not wait for the ladies to express interest in you instead? Much less effort required.

• Best way is to stop trying. Then a few days later will have a new post saying:” this boy who was chasing me suddenly stopped trying……”

• Go meet other girls and let her know about it. Girl generally will only take notice in the face of competition. If she doesn’t, mean you 100% no chance.

• [1] she is genuinely busy [2] she doesn’t give af [3] try other women [4] stop writing in for silly advice to simple problems

• If a girl is interested in you, she will find time for you. No one will waste time on unimportant stuff

• She’s rejecting you gently and you still don’t know. If she likes you she would have made an effort to spend time alone with you.

• Twice rejected – means not interested. Usually if the girl reciprocates, she will not turn down an invitation from the guy who took the initiative. Move on loh.