Boyfriend wants to be a grab driver and do odd jobs – should I leave?

My boyfriend and I, both 26 years old have been together for 3 years. We are both currently working in an MNC and SME respectively, taking home a decent amount of 3k per month. We just signed contract for our BTO that will be coming in 4 years’ time.

Recently, he has been bringing up that he wants to quit his current job to be a grab driver and doing odd jobs, because he feels really tired with working in his current company. He has been bringing this up and discussing with me for the past 5 months. Upon hearing this, I actually feel scared for my future with him, because the fact that him doing odd jobs might not bring in a stable income like he is currently bringing in.

He did say he plan to take on many shifts a day to aim to hit 4k a month, but I feel skeptical about that, because he is the kind who actually just lazed around at home, playing games and watching netflix during the period he was working from home. I am unsure if he will really make full use of the time to earn money from odd jobs, given that now he has freedom of how he wants to plan his time. I am worried that I would be the sole breadwinner for the family in the future.

I do have my own dreams and goals to achieve. I want to start my own business but if I were to be the sole breadwinner, a lot of my money would go to the house and I would not have enough capital. Also, knowing that my boyfriend only has a month’s worth of salary in his savings account and the rest in stocks makes me feel even more rocky.

He did discuss his plan openly with me and although I feel skeptical about it, I don’t want to restrict him in his future planning as well. What should I do? I did start to have thoughts of leaving this relationship because of this potentially rocky future ahead. Any kind soul out there who encountered this or can give some advice? Greatly appreciated.

Some pregnant women not daring to ask for seat in public transport so they take grab. They also expect other commuters to be aware that they are preggo and expect them to give them their seat without asking.

As a regular public transport commuter, how are we supposed to judge whether a woman is indeed pregnant or just has a fat belly in order to give them the seat? I mean like if I ask someone who has a big belly if they’re pregnant and they’re actually not, wouldn’t that be a rude question..

Some pregnant ladies also don’t have big belly at the earlier stages so how are we supposed to know..? Do they expect us to have superman x-ray vision and check if the lady’s belly has a foetus? I don’t like to play guessing game leh.

I understand if they have like social anxiety issues but like… are you just going to silently torture yourself and your unborn baby + spend more money instead of asking someone for a seat politely? It wouldn’t hurt to ask politely and there’s nothing wrong with asking.

I personally have severe social anxiety issues but once, (when covid period started) I suddenly felt like fainting and had blurry vision in the mrt so I went up to a young lady (Thai/Filipino) and asked her (politely) if I could have her seat cos I felt like fainting. She immediately got up and went the extra mile to ask how I was feeling and even touched my forehead to see whether I got fever anot. I also apologized for taking her seat and she said it’s ok and she damn kind sia bless that woman.

Talking abt entitlement, once I was travelling to school early in the morning and sat on a non-priority seat in the mrt. I was tired so I closed my eyes/looked down. After reaching my destination and about to get off the train, I looked up and noticed one lady (who looks to be around my age) standing in front of me and glaring at me.

Only then when I looked up at her, I realized that there was an elderly man beside her, standing right in front of me. The elderly man didn’t ask me for the seat and the young lady didn’t help him ask for the seat when I was sitting down anyway, and I genuinely didn’t see him until I looked up, so I don’t think it was my fault, right?

And I also realize most elderly ppl like to stand in front of young ppl like me in an effort to get me to give up my seat… and I honestly wouldn’t give up the seat if I was genuinely unwell/tired and if they shouted at me for sitting.

You can ask “Hi, I’m pregnant. May I have your seat? Thank you.” What’s so difficult?

Or for unwell people “Hi, I am unwell. May I have your seat? Thank you.”

Or u can even type down the question and show it to the person you’re asking instead of opening ur mouth. Like “Hi, I’m unwell. May I have this seat please? No worries if you don’t want to”.

If they say no, don’t get all mad or frustrated or glare at them. Tbh they probably need the seat too. Just move on and ask another person. Asking for something doesn’t mean u will get it, it’s okay to be rejected and don’t take it to heart. Just be like “I understand, it’s alright!” with a smile and move on.

If you need a seat, just ask politely and state ur issue. Don’t need scared one. If one says no (because they probably have invisible issues), don’t take it to heart, move on and ask another person. Don’t make people guess.

My boss was let go yesterday afternoon

I got called into a meeting with the COO yesterday saying that they let my boss go. My boss was director level but our team did not have a manager.

I was then told that they want me to be the new leader of our team. Right now I’m going to be reporting into another person who was at the same level as my boss, but had nothing to do with my team really.

It was told to me I unfortunately can’t have a pay raise just yet and they want to see how I do in this role. They want to help me “grow into it”.

I’m supposed to meet with HR and my boss’s boss who’s the CIO today. What do I do to protect myself?

They said they will give me the title change and money after I’m comfortable and they’re comfortable. I just need advice on how I protect myself and ensure that this isn’t open ended. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Netizens’ comments

1. It sounds great in theory, but as someone’s who’s been through the ‘we’ll give you the title and pay rise later, we promise’, situation before, they’ll be saying it while having their fingers crossed behind their back.
   I’d suggest getting it in writing and if they’re not willing to do so, then you’re not willing to do additional work for free.
2. >They said they will give me the title change and money after I’m comfortable and they’re comfortable.
   So that would be “never”, then? Because there’s no metric to measure “comfortable”. This is literally a ‘trust me, bro’ moment.
   I would decline this invitation to do your bosses job (and I will BET at least some of our existing job as well) for your existing salary as gracefully as you think appropriate.
3. Smells like BS, I would tell them I don’t feel comfortable accepting more responsibility without being fairly compensated for my labor.

Is there anything else we can do to protect ourselves against errant cyclists?

[Disclaimer & background: Sorry for being incoherent cos aphasia strong today. I’m a cane user with poor stability. I don’t dislike cyclists. I just hate unkind and inconsiderate people.]

I was walking in a narrow pavement which was next to a coffeeshop when a cyclist suddenly appear from behind me. He didn’t ring a bell but I could hear something.

Since I can’t pinpoint sounds well, so I decided to find out where it is coming from. Before I could react or anything, he kept moving forward which caused me to fall backwards and stumble.

My hubs thankfully caught me from falling on my butt. Unfortunately it caused me to sprain my knee resulting in a sharp pain plus I can’t put weight on it.

I wished I could have reacted faster because he zoomed away without apologizing. Sadly, this is not the only encounter where a cyclist/pmd acted really impatiently.

I don’t know if the police can help in anyway because I want him to not do this to others and have safer cycling behavior. Unfortunately I don’t think they can because bicycles don’t have identifiers like plates.

Is there anything we can do to protect those with poor mobility or poor balance against people like them? Or if there’s an incident like this, what can I do?

Edit: I created this post for awareness and advice on what to do because if we cant change the blacksheep of cyclists/pmd then at least those with poor balance/mobility can protect themselves by being wary. Also i wanted more accountability for the blacksheep or those who do harm.

For a better shared pavement environment, its on both pedestrians and cyclists/pmd to be kind to each other.

I hear and see both sides. But the lack of infrastructure doesnt give an excuse to be unkind or inconsiderate to other users.

I personally walk with left mostest lane and wo any music to be safe. As fish suggested, look behind once awhile. This is a great idea for those with poor hearing/hard of hearing.

I speak for those with poor mobility/poor balance. Please be patient with us because we cant react immediately and need time to rebalance or find our footing. I cant move left or right only forward because of my mobility aid.

Thanks for reading so far and hehe its on each of us until the gov create a better infrastructure. Lets be kind to other users.

My (32F) friends (35-49F) have disappeared after I gave birth to my baby.

My (32F) friends (35-49F) of 5 years and I would spend a lot of time together and support each other when in need. I spent 5 years nurturing the relationship.

They even threw me a huge surprise baby shower but then have not yet come to meet me after having the baby. I have also sent invite twice, but they haven’t showed up yet.

They are responding to my text but not sent one on their own. They are all still meeting and going on outings. I feel terrible about being neglected. I’m so confused, what should I do? how I can make genuine friends in the future?

Editing to add:

Many of the group members are moms.

I wasn’t expecting this group to hang out with me and the baby. They were invited to meet us because they had previously shown interest to see the baby. The plan was for friends to meet the baby one time and I would go out with them while the baby was cared for by another caregiver. Btw, I’m working on making mommy friends to hangout outside of this group.

Thank you all for your responses. Its unsettling to terms with such sudden changes in friendships after childbirth.

Netizens’ comments

It’s definitely a balance from both sides.

They should have come to see you and your new baby. That’s what good friends do.

If this is a group that is always out and about and doing activities, hanging around your house every weekend with a newborn is not going to be their idea of a good time.

You also can’t go out as much as you used to.

I’m childfree but I have friends with children. I make time to do quick visits and see the kids, but they also make time to come out for an adult activity every so often.

I think a big reason why these fallouts happen is that new parents are in 100% kid mode. It’s all they do, all they talk about, never leave the house, and some get angry when everyone doesn’t just want to sit around their living room all weekend to keep them company. I chose not to have kids because I really don’t enjoy being around them for more than a couple hours at a time.

But your friends are shitty for not even dropping by or making an effort at all. They should be still inviting you out and stopping over for coffee every once in awhile.

It can be difficult to connect new parent friends and friends without kids because while your life changed drastically, the rest of the group is maintaining the status quo.

I lost my virginity to a coworker and I feel like crap. I take full responsibility for my actions, but I don’t know what to make of this. I thought with the wrong head.

Until recently I (19M) lost my virginity to a coworker (33F.) To clarify, she’s not into me. She just wanted to be the one to take my virginity even though she knows I have a girlfriend.

She said it was cute that I was still a virgin, and wanted me to lose it. I know I made the decision, but she put thoughts into my head that I won’t regret it and it’s just intercourse.

Well, it’s the day after and I feel like shit. For the record, I used a condom so we were quite safe to be honest. I was tired of being a virgin at 19.

My gf is also 19, but we were saving intercourse for marriage. Honestly, I really struggled with the idea. I’m constantly turned on.

Anyway, is this something that can be worked through? I know it will hurt my girlfriend a lot. I really regret it now that my mind is clear.

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re a downright scoundrel, you don’t deserve anything good in life.
2. You can’t take back what you’ve done. You need to be honest with your girlfriend. Most lessons in life are learned the hard way.
3. Welp looks like marriage is now off the table for you lmao. And yeah you can work though it alone when she leaves you.
4. Don’t know what to tell you. You cheated on your gf because you couldn’t wait for her yet. Hope she finds someone better. Hope you learned from your actions
5. Well you’ve broken your arrangement with your gf. So that’s over. Also, you’re way too young at 19 to be thinking of marriage. That’s a good way to have a divorce in your future.
6. And you are now waiting for your girlfriend to remain a virgin until the wedding? Or do you want her to lose her virginity with you? In my opinion, you don’t deserve this “gift”. You want to be an adult, do adult things, then put on your big boy pants and go tell your girlfriend what you did.

In March I sent my boss/the co-owner of the company an email asking for a little more money. It was like a 5 paragraph email, which ended with me saying I understood if he couldn’t do it, but if not then I would start looking for a new job.

Did he think about it?

Did he discuss the matter with his wife, who is the other co-owner? Nope. Less than a minute after I sent the email, he called me and screamed at me for asking for a raise.

-In April I began a job hunt and eventually got hired by a company that wanted me so bad that they bent over backwards to get me to come work for them and I have a start date of June 12.

-I told my boss on May 12 that I had a job offer, but hadn’t made up my mind, expecting that he’d at least make me an offer to stay or ask what it would take for me to stay. He just never brought it up, so I told him on May 19 that I was finishing up and my last day is June 9.

-Him and his wife are weeks into their massive hissy fit about me leaving. Part of my punishment for leaving for more money is that he has since given me more money. Then to top it off, he tells me that when they hired me a year ago they expected me to work there until either retirement or the company went out of business. I just kinda stared at him when he said that.

Anyhoo, another punishment is he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, so instead of calling me 25x a day (no exaggeration) he calls me 2 or 3 times.

Here are what netizens think:

• Can only mean he doesnt know wtf he’s doing and when you leave ….he’s done!

• A successful business is to some extent a cooperative endeavor. It requires just wages. Its not fascism or monarchy. If they can’t afford just wages they should go under.

• My dude/ette, you are way way way too nice here. Learn early in life that no company cares about you. Even when it feels like ‘a family’ and it feels like everyone has your back. When money is involved, anyone will stab you in the back to get ahead. Jump at this new opportunity and don’t look back.

So yesterday, being lonely and desperate, I decided it was a brilliant idea to put my genitals into the vacuum cleaner to feel the suction.

Attempt 1: I grabbed my vacuum cleaner & pulled down my pants… & realized the vacuum cleaner’s pipe was too narrow.

Attempt 2: I wasn’t defeated so easily. I knew I had to widen the diameter of the vacuum cleaner. So I grabbed an old coke can – cut off the end without an opening & attached it to the vacuum. The suction would conveniently hold it in place. There was only one problem, aluminium is very sharp and can cut me.

Attempt 3: Making aluminium less sharp is not an easy task. I tried wrapping it in a plastic bag, but bits of aluminium would still poke through eventually. I finally decided to cut a sock in half & form one of the holes around the can – while the rest of the sock went into the can… Seemed to work.

Result: While it did work as intended, the loud noises & the aluminium can crumbling around my manhood was enough to not get me satisfied. I was at it for a good 30 minutes I imagine, before I gave up – I didn’t want to disturb my neighbors too much.

Rating: I would rate the vacuum a 3/10, it’s too loud & the suction isn’t that great when you attach a coke can with a stuffed sock inside. I did try various suction strengths, including the strongest setting – there wasn’t too much of a change in my experience, but it got pretty loud on the higher settings.

And additionally, because I was too in the moment, I didn’t clean out the vacuum cleaner and I was essentially sticking my D into the machine with all the dust and dirt inside it.

My gf is best friend with her ex. We have a long distance relationship with 6h drive apart (She is in KL). I’ve been together with her for 4 months now and I knew in the beginning that they were close friends.

They ventilate and also have a cat together so she has a key to his apartment as she frequently goes there to take care of the cat. At first it didn’t really bugged me that they were friends, but it bugs me that she spends more time with him than me, it bugs me that she seeks comfort when venting to him and not me.

Call me jealous and I am. Of course I think you should have friends in the opposite gender but it’s the part when it’s her ex.. I’ve talked to her about this that it really irritates me and it makes me upset.

She told me that she would never cheat on me and that she can block him cause she doesn’t want to upset me like this ever again and in my mind I’m thinking “am I wrong for wanting her to cancel a 4 year relation with her ex?”. After a two hour long conversation about this about her she asked me for one request/demand of this.. that she still needs to ventilate towards him.. Am I a fool for giving her a chance? I don’t know what to do, she says I’m overthinking and overreacting as she explains to me there’s nothing going on in between those two

Here are what netizens think:

• I don’t date women who are close with their exes. It’s just asking for trouble.

• This right here! Huge red flag for me. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but I don’t date the person who is friends with their ex.

• Ditto. I’m amazed how many women think it’s ok to still chill with their ex and thinking nothing of it, yet lose their effin minds if you talk to a female co-worker (platonically) or a female friend