My husband lied to me.

I (29F) caught my husband (29) in a lie today. He is a store manager and has been commuting 40 mins for work for the last year.

Some days he opens and others closes store. He doesn’t usually run behind but lately has been coming home 30 mins later when closing saying there are issues at work he needs to stay and resolve.

I never question it but today I had a weird feeling and decided to check his location. He wasn’t at work he was at a park close to his work for those 20-30 mins he was “resolving closing issues”.

I called him repeatedly and no answer. After the 30 mins he returns my call and makes it seem like he just got off work and getting into his car to leave.

I took screenshots of his location but I’m unsure if to confront him about it.

I’m deciding if to continue monitoring location but keeping tabs on his every move seems exhausting…

I don’t check his phone either but I’m considering it given that I’ve caught him in this lie.. What should I do next?

Netizens’ comments

• I’d do some more snooping and watching where he goes. If you confront him immediately, he’ll just turn off the tracking or turn off the phone. You may want to see if he keeps going back to the same place(s)and just show up to see for yourself what he’s doing.

• I just want to point out that there’s the very real chance that he might just want to sit in silence by himself at a park after working all day before coming home and interacting with you. He might fear that telling you that would make you feel bad so he just says he’s still at work.

I’m kinda curious about what goes through your heads when you see an ‘attractive’ girl – whatever that means to you. Physical attributes like height or the way she dresses, or non-physical attributes like hobbies, jobs, or things you have in common. Also if things like family, job, income, education or race matter to you.

Also is there a difference in girls you find attractive when walking down the street for example vs girls you want to date and how you want to meet them?

I’m asking because i feel like i’m super disconnected from sg culture and am tryna find someone but i have no idea what guys like or where to even start finding people!! (dating apps aside)

also pls don’t tell me to be myself because that’s clearly not going anywhere rn lmao thanks 🙂 all perspectives r extremely welcome n much appreciated lol

Here are a few interesting comments:

• Personality is everything to me. I want someone I can talk and laugh with when we are 60+

• Compatible values & life goals, Intelligence, critical thinking , Similar humour, personality, interests , Physically attractive

• There was a man who had 3 girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each 1 $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first 1 went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.”

The 2nd one went out and bought new golf clubs, a Dvd player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, “I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much.” The 3rd one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

• I play table tennis, so if she plays the sport it’s a plus. And I feel if the hobby is rarer, the attraction rates go up? HAHAHAHA. I like to collect action figures. If she could participate in a 5 min conversation about it, she’s the most attractive woman in the world to me.

• I find a girl who can hold her own and always has this “bright spark” aura around herself and her peers very attractive. Can carry a conversation and an infectious positive energy ard her. One more crucial thing would also be how she treats others ard her too. If you ask about physique and looks, a nice smile. 🙂

I go lunch with my colleagues.

Initially, all of them were speaking English. However, after a while, they start talking in their own language. The worst part was that I was the odd one out.

Well, to be fair, I learned the language when I was really young so I can catch the drift. I am a junior so I dont dare to say anything. They do know that I can understand bits here and there but they still continue. Sometimes, I totally get lost and lose interest to the point, I just scroll my phone.

I know all the 4 main languages in bits and pieces – none of them fully mastered except maybe English. I am better at some while I am really bad at others.

I do speak to some colleagues in my or their mother tongue. However, due to my experience, if there are people who dont understand the language, I would switch to English immediately.

So I had a new colleague come in and he was struggling. I spoke to him in his mother tongue and to be clear, I was dicussing with him 1 on 1. However, my colleague came out of nowhere and hinted to use English. So I thought he realised how I must have felt because at least, I can understand a bit whereas he didn’t understand anything in my convo.

However, at the next lunch, he continued to do speak in their mother tongue.

I have experienced or seen other people experiencing similar things since young with every single group except English. It is kind of annoying. When I am part of the majority, I would ask everyone to speak in English. I feel powerless to do the same when I am a minority in the group.

I decided to take up classes to futher my learning in that language that I was weak in.

However, inside me, I dont feel comfortable trying to learn now. On one hand, yes, it is a skill and will let me converse with my friends better or better understand them or they might feel at ease conversing theirbmother tongue.

However, on the other hand, I feel like that it is just an excuse for them to continue this. I dont see them trying to learn about my culture or language the way I do. If I dont learn, I cannot understand what they are talking and it can affect my work as there are discussions which affects. If they dont learn any of the other languages, no loss to them.

I dont know if I am doing the right thing.

Not everyone is bad. There are people who are considerate in all groups but there are just very few of them unfortunately.

Hey hey,

My girlfriend of 6 years wants to have S under the stars, Are there any affordable places/resorts in south east asia that I can take her for birthday?

Here are what netizens think:

• Punggol 21 cc have a lot stars right.

• Carpark rooftop

• Aiyo. Easy la. Stick the glow-in-the-dark stars in the room. Can Liao. Job done!

• My house downstairs the open grass patch. My friends and I will be the stars watching you from level 30. It will really be sensational, S under the stars. We can even be the stars that guide you through the process. 

• Cruise ship take balcony suit, or you want go for cheaper option can just decorate your room with honey star.

• Let us know where eventually you are going in SG, and we could bring the camera crew along.

• Drive a open top pickup and drive to some remote place.

• Pangkor Laut. The bathroom is open concept, you can lie in the bath and see the stars.

• private villas in places like railay beach in krabi

• Can go to the roof top of any HDB MSCP. Free and under the stars. Pulau Ubin next to the old quarry also can. In the wild under the stars and a little sound of the waves and loud aircraft engine landing at Changi Airport.

• Midnight park with nobody passby usually, its a hint bro, she want something more excited

• Best is to try different places until you find the perfect place for you

• Bali glamping, many places under the stars but probably hot, humid and alot of mosqiitoes.

• Try Siloso Beach Resort Sentosa roof garden suite, it comes with an outdoor jacuzzi on the 2nd level within the room. Great for what your gf wanted. Enjoy !!!

• Bro under stars only… I have tried the beach, staircase, handicap toilets even construction sites….free cheap good and thrilling. I was even caught by the police while doing the deed. They let me go..

I just got married less than a few months ago. I accidentally saw some screenshots of a influencer on my husband’s phone. I confronted him about it, and he apologised saying that it is habitual. I forgave him and reminded him that he is now married with a wife. For context, we’ve been together almost 10 years before we got married.

Few days passed, and things went back to normal. But my gut feeling says no. I know it’s bad but i snooped his iphone gallery. I know i’m looking for trouble at this point but I just needed confirmation. The photos are no longer in his gallery, but it’s under the Hidden folder. My heart sank when i saw thousands and thousands of not only screenshots of influencers, but also sneaky photos he took of his friends who are girls.

Some butt pics, cleavage. Some of these girls, he went out with without my knowledge after I wished him goodnight, after cross checking the dates of these outings with our past messages. There were also photos of absolute strangers at the gym, on the plane which he sneakily took. While these photos were not recent (like within this year), it all happened within the course of our relationship.

I am very disappointed, hurt and disgusted. Now i am in a dilemma. Do i confront him about it even though it’s mainly in the past (except for the recent ones he screenshotted) and risk our marriage? Because I snooped around without his permission. Or do I close one eye and pretend everything is okay, but knowing he could likely do it again? It’s definitely going to cause trust issues between us both for both scenarios – i can’t trust him anymore with his predatory behaviour, and he can’t trust me coz of my snooping.

How do i go forward?

Here are what netizens think:

• He’s going to be the father of your children. Think hard lady. There’s no going back. People like this won’t stop even when they’re caught. You should collect evidence to his criminal act and report him to the authorities.

• Considering that he has done it through the course of your relationship, it is likely been going on even before the relationship started. With that, it is a dark secret that he has never told anyone and for that, there was no one who could stop and help him. That’s why even till today, he is still doing it. At this point, one he is doing isn’t cheating, though very close but more on addiction that has grown to such a point. We have to take into account that he still likely loves you, but he is also torn against an addiction that no one knows hence could not be prevented and it became the result of what you see today.

• I think that if you want him to come clean and change his ways, he has to. Make this changes himself. But to have that courage, the person he loves and trust must not judge him so harshly. You can be disappointed and angry. But if that is all you are going to give and he knows it, then be sure he will clam back into his shell. The first step is to finding ways to get him to confess his dark secret of his own. Since it has already be establish between you two in regards to his behaviour, try to speak to him as to why he is addicted to it in the first place. When he provides his answer (if he does), there should be a mix of understand, anger, sadness and love.

• Eh girl, which guy not tiko? You born yesterday ah. Even if he don’t keep he also go internet see. Everyday see your sour vege face he also need something fresh to maintain his composure in the relationship