Strange Desires causing NS stress

I enlisted a few months ago as mono intake and I’m in combat unit stay-in.

I have started to have strange desires that are making me both guilty, shameful and creating awkwardness between me and my section.

I’m not sure if I am gay or have been gay all my life, but I didn’t really have these desires till I enlisted. I have always been effeminate but I didn’t realise my desires until I came to NS.

I often fantasize about my section mates being very forceful with me. I keep wondering how it will feel like if they force themselves on me, in fact the thought of them ganging up on me to force me to do acts on them turns me on a lot and some days I feel like I am going to explode if I don’t tell someone

It gets even darker, some days I fantasize about them tying me up and doing things to me. Our PC during BMT told us about all the bad tortures that went on during WW2 and instead of it being a motivation, I found the whole thing feed my fantasies thinking about it. Like during water parade I actually fantasize of them holding me down and forcing me to drink bottle after bottle until I want to puke.

I am worried I will stop being able to control myself and do inappropriate things which will make life really bad for everyone since we are supposed to work together as a section

I know you might think this is a joke or very weird but I think I have a problem and not sure who to turn to because I will be labelled gay or thrown in DB or something

Netizens’ comments

1. This is not what I expected lunchtime reading to be.
2. There are apps for you to use and meet guys to explore your desires. Best to go through NS smoothly without creating any trouble, do whatever you want OUT of camp.
3. Whatever you do please do not report any of this to the MO or MINDEF. They are not equipped to help you and they will not have your best interests at heart. See a private therapist instead.
4. On a serious note, I think it’s best that you inform a SAF counselor as soon as possible to make arrangements based on your… “needs” as it will only worsen with repression.

Ever Encounter Salesman Reply You This When You Say “I’ll think about it”

“哎呀不用想了“
”Aiya no need to think already” (Meaning to just buy)

My reply is “哦， 不用想就是不用买了“
“Oh, no need to think means no need to buy already”

Then I’ll just walk away.

Got encounter before? The fact that this has to be converse shows where I’m actually shopping at…. lolx.

Netizens’ comments

1. I no longer say anything, I just walk.
2. wedding shows the salesppl there will be like aiyo no need think la all same one -_-
3. Wedding show ppl are aggressive af. Got my sleeves tugged at and ppl trying to shove me into their booths. Got out of the place real fast!
4. My friend coincidentally has surname “thng”. So his natural response is “my surname is Thng. I really need to thng”. The salesman on the street usually left stumped or could only come up with the sir, just a moment….
5. Usually they will throw in a “time limited offer” which isn’t valid the moment you step out the door. So they will say “u come back another day don’t have this price already”. Which I’m not even concerned cos I’m not intending to come back.
6. Next time tell them “don’t want” instead of considering.
7. Can tell from the comments that they are not sales people. We are trained to deal with rejection handling and a no today can be a yes in the future. That’s why sales people are one of the highest paid people and don’t need degree. If you are an aspiring sales person and reading this comments scares you, don’t be one. You have to be strong in the mind, thick skin and ready for rejection all the time.
8. Those sales peoples are rats. Actually, worse, like vampires, they look you as a walking bag of money rather than as a human being, if they even consider you human. Worse than scum as Kakashi sensei would say.

As I looked into the mirror, I couldn’t help but smirk. I have always been proud of my looks and the attention I get from the ladies, and I am often told that I’m too handsome for my own good.

MONKEY DISEASE

But recently, I’ve started to feel like I’m in over my head. I can’t go out without being hit on by women, men, and even the occasional group of teenagers. And while it’s true that I love the attention, getting too much of it has started to take a toll on me.

I was always confident in my looks, but now I’m growing increasingly paranoid. I’m constantly worried that I’m going to catch something from all of these people who want to sleep with me. I’m sure you know what I mean- it’s the fear of getting a “disease” from someone who’s been with too many people.

It doesn’t help that I’m constantly asked if I’m single and available, even in public places like the grocery store or the gym. I’m sure you can understand why this can be unnerving.

I’ve considered taking a break from all the attention, but I’m just not sure how. I’m not sure if it’s even possible to turn down all the free “ons” I get from people. If I’m not careful, I could end up with a lot of unwanted baggage.

The truth is, I don’t want to be a walking disease carrier, but I’m not sure how to handle all the attention I get. I know I need to be more cautious and selective in who I choose to sleep with, but it’s hard to turn down someone who is clearly interested in me.

At the same time, I don’t want to be a prude and miss out on all the fun. I know I should practice safe sex, but I’m not sure if that’s enough to protect me from catching something. I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that risk.

The fact that I’m getting so much attention is both a blessing and a curse. I’m thankful for all the attention I get, but it’s also a bit overwhelming. I’m not sure how to handle it all without putting myself in danger.

I guess I’m just going to have to be more careful and selective in who I choose to sleep with. I’ll have to be more mindful of the risks and make sure I’m taking the necessary precautions. I don’t want to end up with a “disease” because I was too handsome for my own good.

I’m single, unemployed, broke, in debt, living with my parents, about to turn 40, friendless, down on my luck, mental state dying, and miserable.

I don’t know what to do with my life. How can I possibly turn it around?

Netizens’ comments

1. I was single, unemployed, broke, in debt, 1 week from homeless, friendless, depressed and miserable at 37. Now I am 41, living with a wonderful man, employed, mostly broke, still in debt if they find me, and very happy with my virtual friends that I see occasionally. How did I do it, you ask?
   Determination. Stubborness. A will of iron borne of necessity.
   Choose your battle. What is most important to take care of first? For me, it was a place to live. I found the best I could afford that wasn’t a complete and total shithole in a week and took it.
   Next, it was a job. Every day, hours at the local library using the computers and applying for anything and stopping in at every business on the way to and from there and getting applications.
   I got a job in about two weeks. Started getting some money. I have promptly blown it every paycheck since then, but I get to eat, and now have a laptop, and a bed, and get my nails done as a perk so I’m ok with that.
   I made a few friends, some temporary because of situation, some that I reconnected with. I now had some money, so I sometimes went out with those friends. Through one of those friends, I met my boyfriend.
   Just start at the beginning. Once that ball starts rolling, everything else will fall into place.
2. I’m 40. When I was 36 I had just become single, unemployed, miserable, not in debt, but spent the next 20 months of my life draining my savings looking for a job and trying to keep my sanity.
   Those were my darkest hours where I didn’t have a clue as to what I should do with my life and sometimes seriously debating if I should jump off a bridge with a rock tied to my feet.
   Now I’m 40. I have a great job, great place to live, great girl, great friends, fun hobbies, more money in my bank now than when I was 36 and I’m in better health and shape than before.
   If you need hope, let me tell you that LIFE DOES/CAN GET BETTER. The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t always an oncoming train, but the tunnel can be very long, and very dark with a lot of dead ends. It may take you some time to find your way out.
   The secret to keeping sane, which I discovered AFTER getting a job, was the importance of having something to look forward in the form of a routine. People who have unlimited options with their time are likely to be the most miserable. Had I committed myself go going to the gym every day, signed up for some kind of class with social activity, I would have been further ahead and happier. Social isolation will kill you ever so slowly until one day you wake up and have no confidence to interact with another human being.
   The longer you’re off the grid, the greater the likelihood you will meet and associate with people who are stuck in an even bigger rut. Avoid them like the plague no matter how callous it sounds even though it sounds like a contradiction to what I said earlier about social interaction.
   The problem with being 40 is that it’s difficult to meet people socially at this age, and you’re probably not of the mind to hang out in bars, which can get rather depressing when you see the type of people who still hang out at bars at your age.
   Find a weekly hobby that you have to commit to several weeks at a time, that is progressive (has levels) and requires you to interact socially for extended periods of time whether you like it or not. It could be a dance class, or an improv class, culinary school, team sport, etc. You’ll feel like an outsider when you start, but once you start seeing the same people over and over again, it will feel more normal.
   As long as you feel like you are progressing in some manner and have some kind of interaction with normal human beings, you’ll be less depressed compared to staying at home and surfing the internet job boards every day wondering when that interview is going to come in.

Prison life in Singapore is not what you expect from other countries. I’m an ex-inmate, served 1 year sentence for drug offences. 6 months behind bars and 6 months tagged (House arrest).

It’s boring. You get only a mat to sleep, 3 sets of plain white shirt and shorts, a small towel, a roll of toilet paper, 2 blankets, a plastic mug, a plastic spoon, a small tub to contain water, a bar of soap with its container, a short blue toothbrush with gel toothpaste, a small pen and a container to fit everything in.

Each cell fits up to 8 people. The cells are just white walls with a grate type window and a squat toilet with a shower head fixed on the wall infront of it. No beds, TVs or any basic luxury here.

You sleep on the floor on a mat. ‘Pillows’ are self made by stuffing a blanket in a shirt and wrapping it up nicely. Muster checks are at 7am, 12pm and 6pm. Lights start to turn on everyday at 5am and switched off after every muster check is complete.

Meals (except for breakfast) are served in warmer plates. Colors of the plates depends on your diet needs. Green plates are your standard normal diet. Breakfast consists of 2 sandwiches (Butter/Jam) and a hot drink (Coffee/Tea) filled in your mug. Lunch consists of vegetarian food: Rice, tofu, beansprout etc.. Dinner is considered the heaviest meal: Rice, fishcake, chicken etc.. Fruits (Apple/Banana/Oranges) are included in every meal. Water is taken from the shower head to drink but water is shut off late in the afternoon and after 12am (Thank god for the tub). Food varieties changes every alternate days.

You spend 23 hours in your cell. At 2pm, they let you out of your cell to spend 1 hour to do activities. Every monday, wednesday and friday, you get to play sports. You get to watch movies every tuesdays and thursdays. 24 hours in cell every weekends. Every sunday, they’ll give you equipments to wash your cell and a shaver to shave your beards. You’ll also get a tablet everyday to send e-letters or play pre-installed games for 90 mins.

Depending on your conduct, you can go for classes in the afternoon.

There are also random cell checks every few weeks.

From my experience, it’s super boring but having other inmates makes life in prison a bit better. You can’t make poker cards or board games as it’s an offence but it’s whatever. Either be sane or insane. Song lyrics keeps us occupied along the way.

It’s not horrible. I’ve never heard a scene of “don’t drop the soap” but I’ve heard of arguments happening but not that frequent. The authorities here are very strict on such cases and will not tolerate such behaviour. I’ve seen people thrown into detention cell. Scooping of water from toilet bowls used to be a thing but that was wayyyy back.

Don’t commit any offence in Singapore. You’ll definitely regret it.

What is the most ridiculous excuse you’ve ever heard someone say after being caught cheating by their spouses?

Because I had a friend who got caught cheating by his wife, and he told her that it was an “accident” and he didn’t mean to do it.

What are some of the excuses that you’ve heard before?

Netizens’ comments

1. “it was an accident”
   Oh right, it was an accident that you went out, chatted with another person, then decided to go home with that person, and then you coincidentally happened to accidentally remove your clothes and fall into bed with them.
   Cheating is no accident, it’s planned, premeditated and it’s lies and deceit.
   An accident could be a bump in a car, something completely unexpected. Cheating is neither of these.
2. Caught her in the act. Her lover jumped from the bed, grabbed his clothes and ran out the door. Just before he exited, he yelled, ‘Ohhh, f!”
   I found out later that he was on the verge of “finishing” when I entered, and it popped when he was at the door. Yeah, several big streaks of his juice all over the sliding glass.
   When she composed herself I asked her how long she’d been cheating.
   Oh, I’m not cheating. She looked serious.
   What do you call it?
   Revenge.
   For what?
   For all those women you cheat with when you travel.
   This was a shocker. I’ve been on and off the road for years, but never cheated on her. She just assumed I was getting some on the side and wanted her share.
   The divorce was final five months later.
3. No longer than few days ago. Caught very explicit texts/messages with various people, and traces of conversations with explicit names, spanning over few months. Some earlier evidence had been deleted (conversation in messages coming up out of nowhere and such), so it might only be the tip of the iceberg.
   Some of them they met, some of them they didn’t (and/or were going to).
   The excuse was : “I didn’t know it was wrong so I didn’t care about it, but I will stop doing it now.
   To which was later added “We didn’t do anything, I talk big but I don’t do much”.
   As much as I’d like to believe it, it sounds like an absurd amount of BS and it’s impossible that someone who earlier blamed me based on the sole basis of suspicion of cheating (which didn’t happen) wouldn’t have the moral compass to know what they’re doing is utterly wrong in so many ways.
   Nope, no way I can possibly go with that. Trust level : -9000.

Just a quick question, I was wondering at what age do wives usually cheat on their husbands?

Netizens’ comments

1. In my experience, around 35. Usually after about 10 – 15 years of marriage. Usually after 2 or 3 kids. They don’t have the same body. They don’t get a lot of affirmation from their spouse. They are sometimes alone all day, or worse, in the company of men at work all day. Pretty soon they start thinking “I could get away with this.”
   They can’t. When you cheat, you change. A perceptive spouse will pick up on it, and you’re throwing your marriage and your relationship with your kids in the toilet.
   If you want to be free to sleep with other men, just get a divorce. Then you mess around all you want without cheating.
2. All ages. I was single a few years in my early 40’s and I dated a different woman at least weekly. I was a playa! Easiest women to pick up were married. I had them from 19 to 67 and every age in between. I learned that most women cheat. I had women hook me up with their married girlfriends!! There is no particular age. If they meet a guy that is charming, discreet and available, they will step out.
   My take away, never ever trust a woman. I know some of you ladies will take offense to this, and dress me down. But that has been my experience in life. I didn’t get this lesson from men.
3. No particular age. For most women, after they marry and have children — that moment onward. Females are biologically wired to give preference to males who’ll guarantee their offspring the best genes and care (both, simultaneously). After that objective is achieved, they’ll prioritise their own “selfish” (in a good sense) needs, in what comes to desire and attraction.
   Of course, biology isn’t the only factor at play. Culture (which socialisation is a part of) have fundamental roles, and they’re all ingredients of whatever invisible “formula” will see females make choices, throughout their lives (or feel tempted to).
4. Cheating requires simultaneous MOTIVE & OPPORTUNITY & RATIONALIZATION.
   OPPORTUNITY is based on your attractiveness, and females have more OPPORTUNITY when young.
   We might debate what age of woman is the most attractive between twenty-something and forty-something, but having an affair tends to happen in the age before a milestone, like 29, 34, 39 & 44, & 49, as if there is concern that opportunity decreases with age.
   There are a few reasons men cheat more than women at middle age, and older.
   1=Men increase in attractiveness as they increase in POWER, including wealth & income & free time & connections, experience, expertise etc.
   2= Wives decrease in desire for their husbands much quicker than the other way around, so in about 80% of marriages, He is being rejected and is motived to find someone available.
   3=Some wives not only lose desire for their Husband but also decrease in desire, with anyone, especially after menopause, which means she might reject opportunities she does have.

A netizen shared how his “hatred for humanity” is getting worse and he hates almost everyone he interacts with.

He also shared about how he finds most people that he meets as insufferable and “bland”.

Here is the story:

My hatred for humanity is worsening

I have always been somewhat hateful of the human species, but these past couple of years it has only exacerbated.

The pandemic coupled with my inborn hatred for humans has led me to detest almost everyone I interact with.

Sure, there are good people out there who I enjoy being around. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the people I meet on a daily basis are just insufferable.

They’re for the most part superficial, stupid, repetitive, and downright bland. An interesting person is maybe 5/100 if I’m being generous.

I don’t want to get into the details as to why I hate humanity because that could take awhile, but basically the hatred I already have towards humanity is growing.

Editor’s note: This sounds like a supervillain origin story.