It’s my 21st birthday, and all I wanted was to have all the people I love sharing space and good vibes. I provide everything, snacks, drinks, entertainment – all you had to do was show up.

I know you can’t do nice things for people and expect it to be reciprocated, but I have always gone above and beyond for my friends.

For example, a few years back before the travel restriction my friend expressed that all she wanted for her birthday was a trip. Without hesitation, I took it upon myself to book the Airbnb, communicate with our friends about travel plans, create an itinerary, and gather everyone at the airport for the perfect trip. I love her, and I wanted her birthday to be special without her having to lift a finger.

I would never ask my friends to do all that for me. I just asked for them to show up. One by one, my friends explained they each had something come up and they couldn’t make it to the party. I let everyone know a month and a half in advance when the party was going to be.

For context, nothing has happened to make people not want to come. Everyone just wound up finding something more important to do. At the very least, I expected them to ask me out to dinner a different night or something like that. But nothing. I feel like not even my closest friends truly care about me the way I care about them, and it’s breaking my heart.

I feel stupid writing this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

What netizens think:

• I just wanna say that you’re an awesome person. I always feel guilty when people plan awesome birthdays for me because I’m not the kind of person who can do the same, but they always tell me they just like me being there, so I try to make it if I can. So the people you invited.. especially for them not to ask for a rain check of some sort, that’s just… really mean. I’m really sorry. 🙁

• Wishing you a happy birthday belatedly. Please gift yourself with some new real friends. As for the existing ones I’d classify them as acquaintances and only put in the same amount of effort doing anything for them that they put into coming to your birthday spread.

• Spent my 29th birthday single, crying at a bar and alone. No one even called me. Spent my 30th birthday on a wonderful vacation with my hot new boyfriend, surrounded by friends and having the time of my life. Things will get better 🙂

I’m eating pizza and crepes by myself on my birthday and I’ve come to realize I’m not as important to my friends as they are to me

(I’m sorry if this seems like a pity party considering what’s going on in the world)

People wished me a happy birthday (the standard “happy birthday text/Facebook wall post, and I’m grateful for that) but no one came to hang with me to just eat (multiple people were invited).

I don’t expect gifts, I’m too old to throw a fit but it’s difficult not to feel the goddamn void of people when I’m just eating alone in my apartment, especially after two days ago we just celebrated another friend’s birthday, with a surprise birthday party(we’re all vaccinated), gifts and drinking.

Its been like this for 3 years now.

Maybe I’m that friend that people just tolerate but don’t really like. The pizza and crepes are good though. I’m grateful for that.

Next year I’m just gonna travel by myself to another country.

Netizens’ comments

• I’m sorry man. I felt this way for a long time but I need them more than they need me. Unpopular and stupid thing to do but fuck it. Just learn to enjoy your own company.

• This is a sad realization when you finally accept that most people are not there for you. If you can find one or two real friends they’ll last a lifetime…

I used to go above and beyond for people until I gripped that you don’t have to go above and beyond with people who know your worth and care about you.

Backstory: I got into an accident before and will never be able to have kids. None of my family members know of this. They know about the accident but not about this. I have always wanted to be childfree so it did not affect me much mentally.

I have finished my Masters Degree last year and never dated before. I got a very high paying job directly through campus placements.

My parents immediately wanted me to get married after getting a job but I wanted to work on myself and explore a bit.

They said no and I said that it was my wish. All my life I did what they wanted and for the first time when I talked against them, they were not happy. This was last year and they gave up after covid started.

So I picked up some dating apps and went through them but no luck. Then my parents introduced me to a family friends daughter and we clicked kinda.

Looking back, I was a fool. She said yes to anything I said and never complained about anything. I felt kinda weird about it. I wanted her to express her interests but she always said she was interested in whatever I do. Well, i did not think much about it.

I said that i wont have kids ever and she surprisingly said ok. I was like damn, she is probably the one as it is very hard to find a partner who is childfree in my country (or atleast i thought), but we were in the initial stages and I have not told about my accident.

Long story short, we slept together a month ago, i used condoms because safety first. The next day on, she started ghosting me a bit. I thought it was due to my performance in bed and wanted to give her some space.

Then she texted infrequently and only replied OKs and Ks and one line answers. I thought maybe she wanted to end the relation and was sad but left it at that.

Yesterday, all her family came to my house and she claims shes pregnant and the father is me. Needless to say, I freaked out and wanted to collapse on the ground. I did not say anything while they were talking about marriage and stuff that needs to happen because I got her pregnant.

Please advice me on what steps to take now

I am in my 30s, I’ve been working on my online dating profile recently, and common advice is to include a photo of yourself with friends. It makes sense, but it’s hard to do when you don’t have either.

I’ve lived the last decade without really having any friends. It wasn’t intentional, but it’s just kind of happened. I’ve lost touch with all my friends from school, and since then everyone I have met has been through work. I have great relationships with a few colleagues, but at the same time they are not really interested in hanging out outside of work (they are older and have families anyway). And none of my interests or hobbies really require interacting with other people.

I feel my need for social interaction is fulfilled by my family and work friends. This doesn’t bother me. But I am concerned that it will be perceived as strange or a red flag. Obviously the solution is to make some friends. But I feel like if it doesn’t authentically happen, then it’s kind of pointless. I also don’t want to just use people. Or maybe I’m making too big of a deal about this?

Does this describe anyone else?.

Here are what netizens think:

• I’m in the same boat, but I consider myself a little bit weird. I wouldn’t look at it as a red flag if the person I was dating didn’t have friends only because I understand what it’s like.

• most peoples profiles look like they havent spent a day of their lives inside, and I dont know about you but thats a turn off to me, I LOVE my ocassional down time haha. If you do manage to get pictures with some friends/coworkers/strangers make sure its obvious which one is you. I’ve been excited about a couple profile only to find out 3/4 pictures in that she was the comparatively unattractive one in her pictures.

My darkest secret guilt

TLDR: Dating for quite a while and we are in our BTO stage but didnt get it yet, however time to time i had quickie with someone that is not my partner.

So currently i’m dating someone for a long time, nearly 5 years, and throughout the years we had talked about getting married and stuff.

But what my partner doesnt know is, before we got together, i was constantly engaging quickie with people i met through CMB/Tinder etc, some even from knowing each other within a night.

So after we got together, i thought that i could finally be devoted and only do it w my partner but somehow or rather, my partner is not really keen in engaging such stuff. My partner felt that we are not ready to be parents and wanted to wait for marriage. We even did all those love langugue and stuff just to let my partner knows that i crave for physical touch.

So throughout the first 2 years, i held on to my ‘craving’ and stayed loyal but soon after, i had some BFF who was similar as me, difference is they were single. In the past we would go out and go back separately at the end of the night so u know what’s up. Somehow or rather, my past got hold of me and i went back to my old ways during the 3rd yr.

However everytime after i do my deed, and my next meetup with my partner, i would somehow felt abit of guilt but i know that those are just needs and urge for me, so i convinced myself again and again. Although 99% of the time i would only do it with protection, i went to do checkup for any nasty stuff on a yearly basis so i had to do it behind my partner’s back, in a way not to contract or spread it to my partner. I tried to be responsible as much as i can, but i just cant help but to get my needs outside other than my partner. It was quite a scary scene at first when i went, i even had to convinced one of my BFF to come along as i was surprised to see all sort of peeps there.

I tried convincing my partner time to time after our 3rd/4th year but the answer is always the same which is to wait till we are married. So needless to say i continue my ‘eat out session’ Even during our overseas trip together, i had to discreetly pack some protection and try to convince my partner but to no avail as there was no actions throughout.

So after we approached our 5th year, my partner suggested to get a BTO instead which i agreed. I tried to stop doing my eat out activities as it progresses but somehow i just cannot contain my cravings.

One of my close friend suggested that i should stop wasting my time and seek for a partner who is able to satisfy me but i still love my partner and would want to stay for life. Although i felt ashamed of saying this as it is cheating after all, but i do my best to actually subdue my own guilt by doing as much as i can.

As we progressed till today, we probably are the only couple out there who is dating for so long and yet to really progressed any further when it comes to bed activities.

Everytime i’m being conflicted by going to eat out with some of my BFFs and also on the other hand, i really would want to stop this and only stay faithful. I was being extra careful not to let any of my BFFs who eats out with me get to know my partner and vice versa, as its better to leave it that way.

Although everyone have a past, i really hope that my partner doesnt finds out about what i did before/who i was before we were together, and also what i have done so far. It would really be something i have to bring it to my grave.

I would like to seek advice from our fellow readers here, what are some of the ways i should do moving forward?

My fiance and I have been together for five years. He’s the love of my life and I literally can’t imagine being without him. So the thought of doing this is making my stomach roll.

He was adopted and neither he nor his parents knew much about his medical history. A few weeks ago, he met his biological brother for the first time and found out that his birth father had passed from Huntington’s disease.

There’s a 50% chance that my fiance also has the genetic defect that causes Huntington’s, but he refuses to get tested.

It’s not the disease I’m scared of, it’s the not knowing. If we know he’ll get it, we can prepare financially, practically, and emotionally. He says a positive test result will hold him back from living his life, but I feel like it’s the opposite. How can we live with this giant maybe looming over us? How can I make smart decisions on where to live, how to budget, or even whether or not to have biological children with this man if I’m not allowed to have all the facts?

So, I’ve come to the decision that I have to break it off. I respect his decision, but I can’t understand or accept it.

I have literally no one I can talk to about this because it’s his secret and not mine to tell.

I just want to clarify a few things up here:

1. I would not leave him if he tested positive for the defect. I would not leave him if he got sick. I just want to plan for us to be able to afford the best life and care for him if he does – which means we’d have to start immediately.
2. I don’t want or need ‘perfect’ children. That isn’t realistic. But it is possible to avoid them being subjected to a 50/50 chance of having this disease. Of course there are alternative options, but again: they involve preparation and planning. I’m more than willing to take a full genetic panel as well.
3. Yes one or both of us could get cancer, or permanently disabled in an accident, or any other number of things. But I’ve come to learn that you can’t plan for every unpredictable thing life throws at you – this is the rare occasion that we do have the opportunity to prepare.
4. Essentially it comes down to the fact that we’re incompatible, regardless of how much we love each other. I’m a planner and he’s very laid back. Until now, these traits have complemented each other, but unfortunately they’ve brought us to an impasse that I don’t think we can both move forward from happily.

A woman shared a story online of her ridiculous husband and she is looking at options such as a divorce as she can’t take the dirty habits of her husband anymore.

Here is the story:

My husband is 39 this year, he has developed a weird habit of not flushing the toilet after he does his number 2. He was not like this when he was younger.

I asked if he’s getting senile before the 40s and he said he wants me to see the size and colour of his faeces to see if it’s healthy.

I told him that I am not a doctor and it won’t matter cause I won’t even look at it, the moment I enter I will flush the toilet.

I have warned him that if he continues this dirty habit, I have no choice but to divorce. I don’t want my child to grow up and learn bad habits from him. This has been going on since we started working from home. That means over 2 years.

I really feel like just digging up the sai and throwing it in his face or his laptop to make sure he stops it. What I am only scared of is I will end up cleaning it cause he doesn’t help out at home.

The moment he finished his work he will start sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.

I tried stopping laundry and guess what he did, he went out and buy new clothes then dumps them on the pile.

What should I do?