My fiance has lost money on stocks.

We have been saving up since secondary school. We have plans to BTO, raise beautiful kids and go on dream vacations. All these have come to a naught within a span of just a few days.

The idea of investing in cryptocurrency and stocks was first introduced to him by his circle of close friends. He was made to believe that he can make a quick buck and retire early. He took his friends words for it and dabbled into crypto and stock trading.

There were occasions where he would boast to me that he had made a killing which would enable us to realize our dream quicker. Given the volatility of such investment, he assured me that he is well aware of the risk and persuaded me to join as well. Considering that his decision meant well for both of us, I decided to follow suit and entrust my life savings to him in hope that he will not disappoint me.

I should have known better not to do it when he began distancing himself from me and stayed silent on Whatsapp over the past few weeks. Being a concerned partner, I reached out to him to find out how he is doing and to check on our investment. When the topic of investment is raised, he would flare up for no reason and would shout at me over the phone.

A few days ago, a stock made headlines for losing all of its value with allegations made against the founder for fraud.

Worried that it would impact our investment, I phoned my fiance but failed to reach him. I tried to dial his friend only to find out that he had put all his money in this so-called coin only to lose everything. Upon hearing the news, my heart sunk knowing that our hard-earned money were gone and our dreams destroyed. The last I heard about him was from his friend who told me that he had to resort to borrowing from loan sharks in hope to recover his losses only to end up losing more.

We have plans to hold our wedding in Dec which was made known to everyone early this year. Now we have to call it off because of his silly mistake. I can no longer see a future with him and I certainly do not see myself helping with his debt. Heck, I am even contemplating doing OnlyFans to re-build my wealth.

I am v lost as to what to do and how to break the news to everyone about our wedding dismissal should they question about it due to this incident.

I was earning around 60k to 70k per annum for 10 years before quitting to be a sahm.

My husband earns more than me. My husband and I paid half each during the initial payment for the house with a remaining loan of 200k. We have separate and joint accounts.

He has taken over paying for almost all the expenses for both of us. Including giving me an allowance which I was able to save from it too. We are thrifty, we don’t own a car.

During the course of our marriage, he had asked me twice if we can repay some of the home loan, using both our savings. I’ve obliged as I wanted to ease his burden. I’ve not need to spend from my own pocket as he’s given me a supplementary card for all expenses and he also paylah whenever I pay for things. From kid to house stuff and even my own personal shopping, insurance and other smaller bills he would paylah me sometimes and will do it when I ask too. Basically he’s paying for almost everything and I’m grateful for that. I’m also a simple person. I used to buy Chanels and Pradas but have since adjusted my spending habits since becoming a mom. I can live on 500 or less a month if I want to. I don’t scrimp when it comes to food. I can buy things on sale but I also won’t deprive my child of a new book or toy on birthdays or xmas when my child asks for it.

We won a decent amount not long ago and we used that to fully repay our condo. We are debt free since. We didn’t tell anyone about it.

Recently his family member asked if we can invest an amount in their business. Promising huge returns. All along I’m not on good terms with them and I don’t trust them either. They have been changing what they do all along. My husband would like us to contribute to show support. He say I got the spare cash, why not? I have a strong feeling their business will fail again and we won’t get back single cent. My relatives said me and my husband are the only ones staying in condo, we should give others a chance to upgrade from hdbs. I think it’s rubbish talk.

I don’t want my husband to help them either. I have plans to work when my child gets older but whatever I have now, it’s my own savings. I feel very annoyed his relatives act like I ought to help them. I’m not a big investor so I prefer to keep most of my money in banks. I do share and invest in the same stocks as my husband so even though my husband don’t really know the exact amount that I have, he has a rough idea that I have more than 100k. I know its not a lot. But since I’m not working right now, it’s my lifeline.

AITA for refusing to give his relatives a single cent and also stopping my husband from helping them?

Mom (63F) on her deathbed from stage 4 cancer, ex-gf (28F) broke up with me (32M)

My Mom (63F) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 2 months ago, and it has progressed quickly since. She has been in the hospital for over a week and the doctors are unsure what the future holds. We could be looking at days.

Things between my ex (28F) and I (32M) were going well before the diagnosis, the news came just after I returned home from visiting her.

Immediately following the diagnosis, she was upset I spent so much time with my family. I made more time, she said we talk too much and gave me the silent treatment for a week.

Hot/cold behavior and communication since. About three weeks. I tried to talk to her about this and cried while asking her to support me after I had to send my mum to the hospital, she called me selfish and said I ruined her day.

She apologized recently and things seemed to be getting somewhat better, we even made tentative plans to visit for a weekend depending on how my Mom was doing. She cancelled those plans on Monday, then called on Friday and broke up with me.

I’m so lost. She wanted to connect in a couple of weeks and check-in, said she would need to have boundaries around talking about my Mom’s death if it happened before then but was willing. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

She apologized for her bad timing and I was just flabbergasted, “I don’t want to feel like I’m abandoning you in the worst time.” “Well, you are.” I don’t know how anyone can be this cruel and heartless.

I’m having trouble coping with two losses at the same time. How can I separate my feelings about my Mom dying and my ex-gf? I want to be present for my Mom. I’m writing this from the hospital cafeteria and about to go back to sitting with my dying Mom and telling her things will be ok, but I am in pieces.

giving outdoor workers a break

I think the weather is crazy. Outdoors workers like constructions workers, gardeners, cleaners – can we give them a break? I cannot imagine how they can cope at 37 degrees celcius in high humidity.

Are we ok to trade off slower timelines for our BTOs, condos or nature growing more wild or slowing down our rate of trash generation?

The urban heat effect is crazy. Walking along the north south highway that they are building where the trees have been chopped down, it feels like my brains can be fried.

Netizens’ comments

1. Dont worry, we used to it already.. 5 hours – 6 hours working under the sun in extreme heat and sea breeze with coverall and safety shoe.. Thank you for your concern..
   -Working in marine
2. Went to cycle around ECP on friday and saw some workers clearing up drain under the hot sun. Not sure what i could do and bought them each a canned drink from the vending machine nearby. Would there be other things that they prefer? I think if i give them money to buy themselves they might feel insulted.
3. Yeah I feel very sorry for anyone who has to work in this heat, I am having frequent headaches this past week even being in shelter. I hope those workers have access to plenty of water and powerful fans in their dorms
4. You got proof companies don’t give workers a break and force them to work non-stop? All construction work I walk pass so far, I notice construction companies set up temporarily sheltered break areas and water points.
   If your premise is true, then companies will not bother with all these quality of life implementation and supervisor will be punishing those workers like what happen in Gulf countries.
5. If we give them more breaks, it means less work is done and hence productivity is reduced. This is unacceptable in Singapore. GDP above all!! Praise the landlords!!! Huat ah!!!!

I like to pick my nose and eat it. There I said it.

I (F23) know this is childish. I’m a fully fledged adult out of college, but I can’t help but like the taste and satisfaction of getting those gosh darn bogies out of my nose. I usually hide this habit from people.

One time I sipped up and my ex bf caught me eating my booger. He thought it was so gross and didn’t even want to kiss me after that.

My family doesn’t care. My new bf also doesn’t care. I don’t do it in public because I don’t want to gross others out.

Is this a weird habit I should try to break before I accidentally gross out the wrong person?

Netizens’ comments

1. Public service announcement to everyone reading this, don’t read this while eating.
2. I maybe way off, but I seem to remember that as a child it is an urge because it helps the immune system. ?? anyone else remember hearing this?
3. There was a girl at my work that would roll up several boogers on her desk and would let them dry out then eat them. She was very beautiful too which made it extra strange but hey what ever floats your boat.
4. I like to just pick my nose in general not really in to eating it but you do you boo boo
5. To those who do it – have you noticed how you NEVER get sick compared to others ?
   Like… I have a group of friends I am close enough to that they would talk about their stomach aches and whatnot in our messaging group – there’s ALWAYS one who has a problem, because we drank too much last night, because of that one restaurant blah blah blah… Like I’m amazed how often grownups can have issues.
   Meanwhile, here I am with 20+ years without diarrhea or gastroenteritis, colds are nonexistent… basically all my sick leaves at work have been a lie cause I was hungover.
   Anyone else in that case ? I knew other people eat their boogers but seems like a good thread to see if there are benefits.
6. All of you are disgusting.

Is it weird to be called a good boy?

My wife has a habit of calling me a good boy and I usually respond with a noise that a man normally shouldn’t make.

Just last night, I was on a facetime call with a friend talking about basketball and my wife asked me if I did the household chores.

I said yes and then she called me a good boy before patting my head, and then I made a weird noise. My friend, who saw and heard everything, told our other friends.

This morning I woke up to like 50 messages of them making fun of me for being called a good boy. One of them even said I’m a submissive bottom for my wife.

I am so confused because it’s just a cute thing me and my wife do. I just don’t get it.

Netizens’ comments

1. Who gives a f what ur friends think if you don’t like it speak up about it, if you do then whatever bruh
2. It’s so sweet and wholesome, and makes you feel loved – please don’t let them ruin this for you.
3. If the only thing they have on you is jokes regarding your healthy relationship with your wife, then it says a lot more about them than it does you.
4. Don’t let other people dictate how your relationship should be. Your relationship is ONLY between you and your wife.
5. I call my husband a good boy when he finishes all his food I make him. He loves it. Honestly every person and relationship is different. I’m sorry your friends are giving you a hard time about it, but don’t let them influence the dynamic of your marriage if you like it.
   I would say maybe tell your wife not to say it in front of the boys if that would be easier for you. Or go to the group chat and say something like that’s enough I’m happy with my wife and I love the way we are, if that’s too much for you guys to accept then eat rocks.
6. That’s just a cutesy couple thing and it makes you feel wholesome. My parents do the same thing yet my dad at the same time is super “manly” in the traditional sense. Your friends are lame and haven’t been loved lol.

I just up and left a job on the first day, quitting via text, and walked away without talking to a manager

FOR CONTEXT: this job had red flag after red flag after red flag. Extremely disorganized, people unattended for 10-20 minutes and leaving, and I was told I wouldn’t be paid because it was a training day, which simply does not happen in any other establishment in that field.

Every time I came to interview and today when I came for training, the managers would be 10-15 minutes late to the meetings that they scheduled.

Then gave me the “nobody wants to work anymore” speech. I wasn’t given direction on how they wanted the business run, I wasn’t given a lead in my position to help me out or show me the ropes, and the managers didn’t even have their office in the building of the business.

They run like 3 other businesses so I know they’re busy, but I still should be paid and at least told what their ideas are. Red flag after red flag.

They literally just stuck me in a spot and said “you’ve got this” and left. I’ve worked this type of job before so it wasn’t difficult, but it’s not even remotely to the standard I’ve worked in the past. It’s not a single-person job.

I’m also extremely non-confrontational so I know if I’d been spoken to, there’s a solid chance I would’ve been strong-armed into staying, so I sent a text to the hiring manager and ran off before getting a response, and deleted the message when I saw a very pissed “you left without saying anything?”

I feel absolutely terrible for not talking to him in person, but what’s done is done so I guess I’ll just never go back there ever again. Do you think this’ll bite me in the ass? I know it’s really shitty.

Edit: I read the text from the hiring manager on my computer, who was very confused and asked who told me I wasn’t gonna be paid. I guess I was supposed to be and was told the wrong thing but it’s still inconsistent information. Less of a red flag than being unpaid but still a red flag nonetheless for wildly conflicting info.

I have been with my boyfriend for like 2 and half years and recently he has been going to play poker like almost every weekend. Sometimes even on the weekdays.

We have argued until a point where I’m getting tired. If i dont allow him to go, he would get mad. So usually to avoid argument, i just let him go.

Idk its normal that your partner can just go gamble and leave you alone on the weekend.

One time he was feeling upset and actually told me he wanted to go play poker. But I’m like if you’re upset, you can talk to me and we can spend time together.

If you’re upset, but you’re thinking of gambling rather than coming to me, am I even important?

Idk what to do as I’m too comfortable with him. I stay at his place most of the time. He would sometimes ask me to go together, but i really dislike people who gamble. So I don’t usually follow.

The worst part is, he kinda got to know those other poker players through me. Kinda regret intro-ing them in the first place.

I feel like he’s getting addicted but whenever I mention this, he would deny it and gaslight me. He doesn’t like the word ‘addicted’. Last time he would gamble only during cny, but now, saying “Oh festive season. Once in a while.” Now – idk what to say.

I feel so tired arguing over this. I mentioned to him I wanted to break this off but he would question me about breaking off over such a “small matter”.

He actually treats me quite nice and always pays attention to me. He surprises me sometimes with gifts and dotes on me a lot. I just dislike this particular part of him. Idk what to do. Is this a small matter? Or every couple experiences the same thing?

Netizens’ comments

1. Poker isn’t gambling…
   From what I have seen, better off having him on the poker table than out drinking, clubbing, womanizing, going on “golf trips” etc. Someone who has been hanging around poker players since 2007
2. Wise words from my grandmother, don’t marry a gambler. That aside, poker isn’t 100% gambling (or so the poker players always say), but I think your issue isn’t about gambling or even poker anymore.
   It’s about compromising your wants in a relationship, and if he isn’t willing to communicate and negotiate, he doesn’t respect the relationship nor you. End of the story.
   (in parallel, a girl cld be spending tonnes of money and time star-chasing (or anything else for that matter) without caring about the bf’s complaints. The underlying issue and resolution will be the same.)
3. It’s a phase. Will grow out of it one. Just go with him la. Also spending time what.

Is it a red flag for a guy to constantly ask for free things?

This guy (who’s interested in me) keeps asking me for things for free. I feel like he’s doing it just to start a conversation, but it is such a major turn off.

For example, if i’m having ice cream, he’ll say hey when are u gonna treat me to ice cream, or you wanna share that with me.

Or when I bought some socks he’ll say it’s nice and to give him a pair (so we can match).

He’s not rich, which I don’t have an issue with. But he seems to have no ambition and he keeps asking for things for free.

Is this a red flag or should I give him a chance?

Netizens’ comments

1. Buy him that ice cream. If he asks for an upgrade to chye png after, buy it for him also. And if he asks for a meal at a restaurant next, that’s when you dump him lor. For the price of an ice cream and chye png, you’ll have a clear answer alrdy.
2. i may be wrong, but it could be his way of breaking the ice and starts a conversation going. He could be the shy type and not sure of how to find ways to continue to connect with u, except in finding things connected with u to say ba.
   If he is really really a cheapo, he would have insisted on the items. But so far from the above, seems that he is saying everything in jest but didnt really make u do it.
   If u like him enough, give him more time and observe further. If not, then just drop him since u never like him from the start, it seems.
3. The fact that he kept asking u for free stuffs just is not a good thing. Small things may get bigger overtime. Maybe hes content with what he have, some people stop striving for ambition cuz they have found their comfort zone. Think u guys are not matched as what u want is not what u expected
4. Sibeh gianpng. What a turn off. Yes it’s definitely a red flag. Do NOT give him a chance. He’s gonna mooch off you every opportunity he gets.
5. Ice cream nia, you got so stingy meh