I’m a top student with a narcissistic mother. My mother married my dad when she was 20 and never had to work her entire life.

She dropped out of school mid way after she met my dad who’s much older and was married to him within a year and had me. My father is the one with the brains. He was the top student during his youth.

Even though my mother never worked her whole life, she didn’t take care of me when I was young. I was sent to my grandparents home during the weekdays and I only went home during weekends till I started school.

Even though I did well in my studies, I was forced to take tuition for every subject. My dad initially objected but caved in after my mum persisted. As time grew, I didn’t mind as it’s a good reason to be away from home and away from my mum.

My mother is constantly bragging about my achievements to anyone who is willing to hear and its embarrassing. Even though I’m a top student, we come from a humble background and I lived in the same place since the day I was born.

It’s hard enough to be looked down by the other rich students even though I’m doing better in terms of grades. My mother would embarrass me by trying to talk about me to people who didn’t even ask about me. Like my cousin is only in P1 so we have a huge age gap, she would brag about how I was when I was P1 and I’m already past 20.

I don’t remember what achievement awards that I’ve collected over the years but she can name them out as though people cared. She is constantly making excuses to why she can’t work because of me. As a result of her obnoxious behavior, we are not close to relatives.

I am also not close to my cousins as my mum constantly reminded me that they are average students and I should only mix with people who are similar like me. I admit I feel superior to them as I’m a single child and have more attention and money spent on me compared to my less privileged cousins who had to settle for diplomas.

I can’t be friends with people she don’t approve of. I am not allowed to date. She knows nothing about the courses I’m doing and would always try to lecture me when she knows nothing. I’m not allowed to dress what I like. I’m not allowed a lot of things.

She checks my phone whenever she likes and reads my texts. When I’m relaxing she would make snide comments if she think I’ve rested for too long. I’ve given up having a social life because she will follow me wherever I go. As a housewife she has no friends and doesn’t even cook. My father and I are the ones doing the household chores most of the time. I really wish she find a part time job or meet a friend and get off my back.

I’m studying for my degree now and she would talk about her expectations of my future salary and how much she is going to get from me for all the sacrifices she “made” for me. Internally, I really hated the thought of taking over the role of my father to take care of her. She play games on her phone all the time. For a self disciplined person, I really dislike how she’s wasting her time too.

I appreciate my father more than my mother because he was the one who did all the financial planning for my studies while my mum was only interested in when is her next holiday and when is her next branded bag coming in. I have no plans to enable my mother next time. I can’t wait to graduate, move out and start my own life. Am I being unfilial?

I used to have a boyfriend who gambles. I left him after 2 years as I could no longer see a future with him. And the reason was not just about the gambling but also a collective pattern in his behavior that made me decided to leave him.

He is with friends with people who gamble. His family members also gamble. They moved houses a few times because of loan sharks. He told me he hated his dad for gambling and making his mum suffer and being forced to work 2,3 jobs to keep the house running.

They gamble in hundreds and thousands per session depending on the game. He has a bad temper but has never flared up at me in those 2 years of being together but I have seen him get angry at his friends and family and it was an ugly side of him. I wouldn’t dare to make him angry.

He uses his weaker friends and sucks up to friends who are more powerful and richer than him. I hated the way he treated service staff. He uses index and middle finger to pass card or cash. Soon I realised his entire family member does that so it’s a learnt behavior.

I spent hours and hours watching him play. Some days he lose some days he win. He plays with people he hate and also with people he like. Sometimes someone will accuse him of owing them $500 or $1000 when he don’t even remember and he would just pay even when his bank account is left with $50.

When he wins he splurge and treats everyone for a meal or drinks. He gambles not only the weekends but also during weekdays after work. Sometimes I pay for meals, dates and transport when he is broke. He has never tried to borrow money from me and I’ve never offered.

One day I just had a revelation. I want out and I started to spend less and less time with him. I got no balls to tell him to his face that I do not want to become his mother and suffer. The week when we broke up he took a while to realise why I left without me saying the truth. He told me he quit gambling but I never believed him.

This happened in my early 20s. 2.5 years is enough of a time for you to decide if your bf is worth sticking around for. From the way you talked about him, I think you know the answer already. Gambling aside, you would not want a gaslighting husband. Good times everyone can be nice. Don’t be blinded. Look at everything as a whole. What matters more is during the hard and bad times, what does he choose to do?

Your future children can’t choose who their father is but you can. Choose wisely.

Help! My girlfriend has a wet armpit problem. Large patches of sweat often appear on her armpit area and her back is always wet.

It does not help that she often likes to wear tight-fitting grey clothing or a light-colored shirt and therefore the wet patches are very obvious.

And mind you – it is not that she is working out; we could be in an LT attending a lecture together and I could see wet patches forming with a musty sour odour

Sometimes it is soaked to the extent that the fabric sticks to her skin. Worse when she wears white and her skin and undergarments become see-thru. She has tried deodorant and even putting pads on her armpits but the sweat seeps thru.

Do you think she has hyperhidrosis? How should I approach this? Frankly, I don’t find that too much of an issue but I’m afraid my reputation will take a hit when I go out with her. Anybody here can give health advice? I’m in a dilemma!

Netizens’ comments

1. Reputation??? Obviously you care about yourself more than her..if I will you I find solutions to help her instead saying Simi Lang Reputation 
2. Please leave her. A better guy will be more supportive of her instead of being embarrassed by her condition.
3. Jialat. After commenting on ur post, I’m afraid my reputation will take a hit also liao
4. The solution – only hang out in Aircon environments. No taking bus or MRT. And u pay everything for her. Then your reputation and approval ratings will surely be stellar.
5. She can Botox her pits to reduce sweat output and use the ordinary’s glycolic acid to apply everyday to deal with discolouration and odour issues
6. A friend had this issue. It was a medical problem and she got a minor surgery done for it. Didn’t eliminate the problem but reduced it. Do ask her to see a doctor… if it bother her. You haven’t mentioned much about how she feels about it.