I am a boss of a company, so it was my responsibility to ensure that everything was running smoothly.

This was a difficult task, as I had to keep an eye on all of my employees and make sure that they were doing their jobs properly. Recently, however, I had noticed something strange going on in the office.

My employees seemed to be sabotaging each other in order to get ahead in the company. It started as little things, like one employee taking credit for another’s work, or stealing their ideas. Then it escalated to bigger things, like trying to sabotage each other’s projects and deliberately trying to make the other person look bad.

I was shocked and appalled by the behaviour that was going on in the office. I had worked hard to cultivate a team of individuals who worked together and supported each other, but it seemed like they had all forgotten that. Instead, they were trying to tear each other down in order to get promoted.

I knew that I had to do something about this, so I called all of my employees into a meeting and confronted them about what was going on. I was furious, and I made it clear that this kind of behaviour was unacceptable and would not be tolerated. I also made it clear that if I found out that anyone was sabotaging someone else in an attempt to get promoted, they would be fired immediately.

The employees were all shocked and embarrassed by my response. They apologized and promised to stop their behavior, but I knew that they weren’t going to change overnight. So I decided to take the ultimate action and fire them all.

I know that this may seem like an extreme measure, but I wanted to make sure that everyone understood that this kind of behavior was not going to be tolerated in my office. I wanted to set an example and make sure that all of my employees knew that I was serious about this.

When I was younger, I used to think that marriage and buying a HDB (Housing and Development Board) flat was the ultimate ‘happy ending’.

After all, it seemed like the perfect life for any couple – getting married and having a place of your own. But little did I know that this ‘happy ending’ was actually the start of a whole new set of life struggles.

For starters, getting a HDB flat isn’t as easy as it sounds. Sure, there’s the HDB loan that most people take up, but you still need to save up for the downpayment, which can be quite a challenge for some. And then there’s the daunting task of applying for the flat itself, which can be a long and tedious process. It’s no wonder why a lot of people these days are opting to rent instead.

Even after you get the flat, there’s still the matter of furnishing it and getting it ready for you and your family. Again, this can be quite a challenge, especially if you’re on a tight budget. It’s easy to get carried away and splurge on furniture and appliances, but that’s something you should really try to avoid.

And then there’s the day-to-day upkeep of the flat. From paying your mortgage to dealing with maintenance issues, there’s a lot of responsibility that comes with owning a HDB flat. It can be quite a hassle, especially if you’re still trying to adjust to the demands of married life.

Then there’s the issue of children. If you’re planning to start a family, then you’ll need to consider the cost of raising them. It’s not just about providing for them financially, but also ensuring that they get the proper education, healthcare and other basic necessities that they need.

And let’s not forget about taxes. Owning a HDB flat means that you’ll have to pay property taxes. It’s important to be aware of the amount of taxes that you’ll have to pay, as well as any other tax-related matters.

These are just some of the struggles that come with marriage and buying a HDB flat. It’s not always a ‘happy ending’, as I once thought it was. It’s a life-long commitment that requires dedication, hard work and sacrifice.

But at the same time, it’s also a rewarding experience. Even with the struggles and hardships that come with it, marriage and HDB flats can still be a source of joy and happiness. After all, it’s a great way to start your own family and create a stable and secure future for yourself and your loved ones.

So if you’re planning to get married and buy a HDB flat, just remember that it’s not always going to be a ‘happy ending’. But with dedication and hard work, it can still be a rewarding and fulfilling experience.

As a Chinese descendant, I was quite surprised to find out that many of the younger generations can no longer write their own Chinese name in characters and can barely speak Mandarin.

Growing up in Singapore, I was taught the importance of my cultural heritage and language at a very early age. I remember my grandfather teaching me how to write my name in Chinese characters and the various stories he would tell in Mandarin. It was my responsibility to keep these traditions alive.

Therefore, I was quite shocked to learn that many of the younger generations in Singapore can no longer write or speak Chinese. I was told that this was mainly due to the increasing reliance on English and the lack of emphasis placed on learning Chinese. I couldn’t help but wonder how this would impact our culture and heritage in the future.

After some research, I discovered that the situation is not unique in Singapore. It appears to be a growing trend among many Asian countries. The younger generations are more focused on learning English and do not place enough emphasis on learning Chinese. This is leading to a decline in the number of people who can speak, read, and write the language.

Even my Malay and Indian friends are telling me it’s the same for them

The lack of ability to speak Mandarin or write Chinese characters can have a number of negative impacts on the cultural heritage of the younger generations. For example, many of the stories, traditions, and values that are passed down from generation to generation are only done so in Mandarin. Without the ability to speak or write the language, these stories and values will be lost.

Furthermore, many of the younger generations are unable to communicate with their older relatives who do not speak English. This lack of communication can lead to a disconnect between generations and cause the younger generations to miss out on important lessons and wisdom from their elders.

I believe that it is important for the younger generations to learn and stay connected to their cultural heritage. Learning the language and being able to write one’s name in Chinese characters is a great way to honor one’s ancestors and stay connected to their culture.

It is up to us, the older generations, to ensure that the younger generations get the opportunity to learn and appreciate their cultural heritage. We need to encourage them to take language classes and spend time learning Chinese. We also need to make sure that they understand the importance of learning the language and how it can help them stay connected to their culture and heritage.

It is our responsibility to make sure that the younger generations are able to understand and appreciate their cultural heritage. We must make sure they have the opportunity to learn Chinese and stay connected to their roots. I believe that by doing this, we can ensure that our culture and heritage will be kept alive for generations to come.

I never imagined that I would be in a situation where my girlfriend would force me to slim down for our wedding photos.

We have been together for almost 5 years and I thought we were both happy with the way we looked. Little did I know that my girlfriend had other plans for me.

It all started a few weeks ago when my girlfriend showed me some wedding photos of her friend. She said that she wanted us to look as slim and toned as the couple in the photos. She suggested that I start going to the gym and eating healthy in order to achieve the same look. At first, I thought it was just a suggestion and I thought it was kind of cute that she wanted us to look our best for our wedding photos.

Little did I know that my girlfriend was serious about this

She started to constantly nag me about going to the gym and eating healthy. She even started to make comments about my body in front of our friends and family. I started to feel embarrassed and ashamed of my body and I felt like I could never meet her expectations.

I tried to explain to her that I was happy with the way I looked, but she didn’t seem to understand. She kept pushing me to go to the gym and to eat healthy. She even started to buy me diet books and meal plans. I felt like she didn’t trust me to make my own decisions about my body and that she was trying to control me.

It got to the point where I was so stressed out that I started to lose weight without even trying. I was so anxious and stressed out that I was having trouble sleeping at night. I was also having trouble concentrating at work and I was having a hard time focusing on anything.

Finally, I had enough. I broke up with my girlfriend and told her that I wasn’t going to let her control me anymore. She was shocked and didn’t understand why I was breaking up with her. I told her that I didn’t appreciate the way she was treating me and that I needed to be able to make my own decisions about my body.

Breaking up with my girlfriend was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I thought she was the one for me and I still care about her deeply. But, I know that I needed to do what was best for me and my mental health. I’m now focusing on taking care of myself and loving my body the way it is. I’m also working on getting back into shape and eating healthy, but this time it’s on my own terms.

telling my coworker that I really don’t care about her kid?

I mostly WFH but there are days when I need to be in the office. I like to get out of the office ASAP not just because I don’t like being there but because of traffic.

I have one coworker named Megan who happens to be in the office on days when I’m there. Literally every single time I see her, she just wants to talk about her 2yo daughter.

I cannot think of anything more boring than a 2yo getting a cold let alone while I’m trying to get work done. That’s why I refer Megan as “Meh-gan.”

I don’t initiate any conversation with her. She does. And any conversation is quickly turned into something about her daughter.

The other day I had a major unexpected fire to put out. I was under a lot of stress. Meh-gan comes around and asks if I want to see a picture of her daughter at her first gymnastics class.

I snapped at her that I’m trying to clean up this mess made by someone and needed to focus. She apologized.

I later went to her desk and explained why I snapped and apologized if I came across as rude. I said honestly I really don’t care for all this kid stuff you’re bringing to my desk.

If I’m in the office it’s because I have to be in the office to do office work. You’re just interrupting me with kid banter.

She was offended that I basically told her not to bother me unless it was work related. I am wayyyy more busier than her too.

Netizens’ comments

I’m a bit torn here. You’re not obliged to care about her kid and YES it can get a bit boring when people stand telling me the minutiae of the lives of children I don’t know.

1. Calling your colleague names centred around her being boring. Not cool. She’s never done anything malicious to you and you talk about her like you’re better than her.
2. There are ways to communicate that you prefer not to talk about personal stuff that aren’t hurtful to someone.
3. You may not be a sociable work person, but she is. She’s not trying to bother you. She’s trying to be friendly. It might annoy you but it’s not a crime.

Is it normal for parents in SG to be very rude to their kids?

E.G. Shouting, talking like a gangster, always demanding that their kids drop everything they are doing to help them with something, etc.

And if told to wait for a bit, will start shouting things like “why must wait??? I am your mother/father!!!”. But if they are outside, they will be very nice and polite to others, then when they get back home will start shouting all their complaints.

Is this normal in SG?

Netizens’ comments

1. Way too common unfortunately. And then they wonder why the kids turn out to be rude too.
2. A lot of lousy people who didn’t pull out end up breeding children who they dump to childcares and tuition centres, only to scold when they finally get home at night. This is the Singaporean way unfortunately.
   Have kids before they’re mature enough and let the tablet/phone raise them. Sadly this type of parenting is everywhere.
3. Definitely not uncommon. I was on the receiving end when I was a kid / teenager (now I’m 34). As a minor, I didn’t feel good about it but had no choice other than to suck it up. Only as an adult did I realize this is toxic and totally not normal.
4. It’s the norm in SG.
   Parents will talk down to their kids, kids grow up and take after their parents and start being twats to everyone else, including the parents.
   Then their parents will be shocked, fumble and expect to be treated with “respect” when they themselves don’t exhibit respectable traits, or teach their kids how to be respectful during their formative years.
   I for one took after negative traits from those who brought me up, and I reflect it to them when provoked, using the same insults etc.
   I’m not right in this situation but yeah, just an example.
5. A lot of children trapped in adults body in Singapore which is sad. They never learn to do shadow work and now they have to look after a mini human, something they are ill equipped to do

Differences between Singaporeans abroad vs Singaporeans in SG?

I have had the opportunity to interact with Singaporeans living abroad in the UK, US, Australia, Japan, etc. and they have all been some of the amazing people I’ve met. Amazing, cheerful and supportive personalities and happy lives.

The crab-bucket mentality is so exceptionally rare amongst SGporeans abroad. But here, I have met an awful number of extremely bitter people, downplaying others’ successes and ambitions and overall just spiteful or even hateful.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? Or maybe is it just selection bias where the richer generally have a broader worldview and more accommodating, and can move abroad easily? Or is Singapore that much of a pressure cooker.

Of course, this doesn’t mean everyone here is miserable, there definitely are happy and successful people here, but it seems that the ‘miserable’ factor is a bit higher here.

Netizens’ comments

1. When you are abroad, every Singaporean you meet is by default a friend and an ally. Any Singaporean I meet in California who asks me for a referral will always get one, and if they are down to hunt for good chicken rice or hunt for apartments or cars I would be glad to help them too.
   When you are in a foreign land, anybody who shares something similar to you, whether it is the same college or the same country, is immediately a friend, because you need all the networks you can get. Also, you have an instant level of connection that isn’t readily available as with others of different backgrounds.
   You just “get” the kiasuness, or get to diss on SG Govt together, or get to judge Singaporean cuisine together. Back in SG, you don’t feel the rarity of this connection and common background so you don’t treasure every chance as much.
2. People who moved overseas tend to be action-oriented and bold. If they don’t like a certain situation, they will make a change and do it.
   Those who complain and are bitter of others tend to be timid and lack control in their lives. After all, it is easier to lay blame and be bitter than to take action.
   And you definitely do not need a behavioural scientist to tell you that those who are in control of their lives are happier than those who aren’t. 🙂
3. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. The bitter, cynical Singaporeans are entrenched in their dogmas and are less likely to pursue such unconventional paths.
   That said, we should acknowledge that there are a lot of Singaporeans who don’t conform to this pessimistic archetype.
   They harbor aspirations and DO want to move abroad. Some are just momentarily stuck, and it does not reflect a crab-bucket mentality on their part.

“You know the drill: You’re suspended pending investigation” “What for?” “You know we can’t tell you that.” AKA how to lose an employee in 2 minutes.

My workplace called me to let me know I’m “suspended pending investigation” but won’t tell me what I did, who complained, or how long I’m suspended.

This is the 4th time its happened. This is routine protocol for the company. I told them I’d quit if they did it again… they did it again. So I’m out. I’m putting in my notice Monday and finishing out the month.

I’m scared to lose the income, but after that call I’m done, body and soul. 7 years of working. I once thought I would be in this field for life. Now I am done with anything in the shape of it.

Employers, don’t do this. Don’t put your people in the position of always having to watch their backs from their own workplace. Working is hard enough. It will cost you devoted employees.

EDIT: Wrote and just submitted my formal 3 weeks’ notice to resign. Finishing out the month to say goodbye to the people I like and try to get in a few more paychecks, and so I don’t put them in the lurch.

Netizens’ comments

1. Suspended pending investigation 4 times is sus to be honest man. You can’t suspend anyone without sufficient evidence to do so.
2. You should have quit the first time this happened.
   Start looking for another job now while you’re suspended. Give as little notice as possible.
3. This just rings of ‘we’re going to make you quit’. 4 times and they don’t see a problem with no info? They’re aiming
4. Not telling you who did it though is just commons sense, because they’d rather not have employees seeking vengeance on one another.

Dumped my broke bf

My bf is one of the most unambitious, lazy person I ever had the misfortune of knowing. He doesn’t want to upgrade himself, sticking to his dead end, menial job. 0 ambition and whenever I confront him about it, his response was always to be contented with simple living.

I am earning at least 5x his income and sometimes, want to enjoy the finer things in life. So I will offer to bring him to restaurants, using my own money, only to hear him say how cai fan from a coffee shop tastes as good.

Last straw came when he told me to change jobs, take a pay cut, so we can buy a bto as we are above the income ceiling. I outright told him I don’t want to stay in a hdb and will want to buy a condo.

He kept insisting a hdb is as good as a condo. Told him I can pay my share fr the condo, can he buck up and pay his share. He say he doesn’t want. Instead, we can consider. Hdb rental flat if we want our own space.

Dumped him on the spot.

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re completely incompatible so of course it’s good you broke up – but there’s some wisdom in what he says.
   Restaurant food is not always better than hawker food, or why would our hawker culture be UNESCO world heritage?
   A condo is not always better than a HDB, the maintenance charges are much lower and they can be excellent value for money. They can be located in prime locations or in beautiful scenic spots. You may also qualify for various grants to buy a HDB.
   You should reconsider why you wanted to force your ex to pay his share (presumably half) of something he didn’t want. Fundamentally you were forcing him into a financial decision. You wouldn’t like it if the roles were reversed, would you?
2. You are playing Dota 2 while he’s playing League of Legends. Different game sis.
3. Both not suitable for each other. You worked hard play hard. He is more chill and simple. Important to find someone who has the same amibiton with you.
4. Who are you trying to show off to that you’re enjoying the “finer things in life”? After awhile, the finer things in life taste and feel the same if you don’t have someone who loves you and you love enjoying them with you, no? There’s nothing wrong with your bf’s mentality of living simply – there’s no need to spend money to impress those who don’t matter.

After dating around for awhile, I think it’s very important that guys/girls do not reveal their true earning potential/power in the early stages of dating.

I know it’s obvious but we can still make the mistake of revealing too much financial details about ourselves, such that the other person will not fall in love with the person that we are but the things or lifestyle that we can provide.

Just to quote an example, you have a side hustle that makes you $2xxx per month on a normal month that could go up to $5xxx per month because it is scalable. Couple that with a good financial background (family + individually) you know there’s a very low chance <1% you will starve even in a recession when you lose your job.

That theoretically makes you a very high value person aside from your personality and values and thus you need to be more discerning of who you let into your life. I’m mainly writing this advice for myself because I tend to have a high ego and low self-esteem and that’s why sometimes I try to justify in my head why I’m worthy of being with someone of a “higher social-economic/academic” background.

Yes money is not everything. But in a high cost of living country like Singapore, money represents options that could enable you to be a stay at home-dad or mum and completely avoid the rat race. As well as providing a comfortable living and less financial stress.

Money is the difference between traveling the world every year, multiple times a year and budgeting for meals and constantly thinking about how to reduce your costs.

I have experienced what it’s like to be both rich (solidly middle class) and poor. And I always realise how lucky I am to be in the circumstances that I am in.