Is trading and investing able to earn for living?

I have been trading and investing since 2014, and recently I have found a strategy that works well for me. Over the past 12 months, I have earned an average of about $4,000 per month. I know this amount is not much, but I have limited education, so I don’t think I can get a job that pays much better. I recently got married and have kids, and my wife helps me with my business, which is not doing very well. Her income is also very low.

In the past few months, I have been spending more time on trading and investing, treating it like a full-time job, and the results have been quite decent. I have been able to make $12,000 per month for the last four months. However, I’m worried that it may just be due to luck.

My question is, as the sole breadwinner, I feel quite stressed. I feel a heavy burden with every decision I make. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Should I focus on my trading and investing or look to start a new business?

Here are what netizens think:

• In this time of turmoil, it still takes deep pockets to invest. Sometimes shit happens so you will still screw up. If u do not have a FT job to fall back on, it’s good to start hedging ya winnings into gold, safe havens, property, REITs… Many will say that investing isn’t gambling. But for me, it’s all the same. U can’t predict it, u have to put an initial capital/ stakes… It is betting. So bottomline- u need deep pockets. And when ya single, you’re fearless. U make better judgements. Now if u r hesitant, you could be making a bad call. For e.g. u straddle when u can do a long call. So.. I suggest u build deep pockets.

• Better find a job in between to sustain than leave everything to trade. At least theres some income keeps rolling every mth.

• I don’t trade but I know that trading has its ups and downs, you can do both trade and develope something else on the side?

• Trading is super hard especially for ppl who can’t regulate their emotions. Definitely not for everyone. The fact that you can survive and make a living out of it means you’re definitely doing it right. There are some ppl who are even able to monetize their skills to start coaching – but a lot of the courses are fishy and fluff too.

Unspoken rule of giving bonus to mother

Yes, I have ever heard of such a rule before, from my mother. I think I am at an earlier career stage compared to you because I don’t have kids and I recently only got to the stage where I have bonuses.

Previously no bonus so my mother didn’t ask for it. But my mother had a simple rule, 1/3 of salary has to go to her. And turns out that bonus is included. For now, I give her 900, sister gives around 600-ish, cus married. She hasn’t worked full time for almost 20 years and is relying on CPF payouts. Zero debt, HDB fully paid off by father.

When I got my 1st ever bonus she asks for it. Such parents exists and before this becomes a comparison between our mothers, here are my though and what I did.

As I have given up on convincing my mother to 1) Spend less 2) Have a source of income. I decided to work on what I can control, me.

I didn’t give my bonus as I did not want to open up a trend. I simply kept quiet and ibank the same amount every month. I don’t give her cash, because if I pass it to her, she can count and make comments immediately. When I ibank, she will see it whenever she sees it.

I stopped telling her my real salary. She did guessed quite closely once, but I did stopped giving her a proportional increment. It will stop at $900.

I made sure she had enough money, which she definitely does and that she has medical insurance. (Medishield and CI protection)

She will still always make remarks about me having to sponsor her new tablet, laptop, hp, holiday, whenever she wants them. I just kept quiet and let her drone on. $900 is all she is getting.

These two years through covid-19, it made me realised that I have been groomed to be an “asset” since I was a kid and it sux to be a money tree.

A lot of people will say, move out, cut contact with her. That’s easy to say, but there are many considerations. Does everyone want to get to the drastic stage where we cut contact with parents? I tell myself, not yet. But I cannot be following her rules, I have to plan for myself, I have to plan for my future wife and future kids.

Such bad practice stops at my generation. No more sandwich generation from my kids onwards. It stops at me. I am determined and therefore I started to plug some gaps through insurance and I still continue my practice of giving money to her. I will not give her more.

Another aspect that does not seem to apply to us is Rainy weather fund. I made sure that my mother has certain amount of liquid cash as rainy weather fund because we never knows when a emergency strikes. If she don’t have and don’t plan to have one. Perhaps create a bank account or maybe cash management account with Stashaway or Endowus or what and start saving perhaps 10k for her or what. You never know when it will be utilised, perhaps never, perhaps these money will one day save her and you.

My mother ever said this, in an emergency, as a family, if we are rich, we eat rice, if we are poor, we eat porridge. We will tide it through together.

Sorry, but this is one of the most useless thing I ever heard because action speaks louder than words. Ya, try telling that to the expenses when they come. Perhaps can delay paying the expenses a bit, but still must pay right? And who gonna pay? Not the mother right?

Moral of the story, think for yourself, prepare ahead, plug potential gaps.

Essentially, parents are adults as well. They have to be responsible for their own lives and expenses as well. As kids, money we can give, but with a limit.

If it is our kid, maybe a 13 or 14 year old child, then no choice, we bring them to this world and they are still of the age of nurturing, we have to suck it up and bear their expenses. But parents no, they are fully grown adults, they cannot be compared to a child, they have to be responsible.

Just look at Anita Mui, dead for 20 years and mother still leeching off her.

I would like to share the story of me and my wife. Back when we were dating, we were in the same situation as you where she earned more than double my salary, and she still is now.

This income difference is possible, but not without difficulty. In my humble opinion, it is not an issue unless you both let it become one.

Example, if you are someone who wants expensive gifts from your partner, this could be an issue. My wife is not materialistic and doesn’t spend on luxury goods. I buy her gifts on birthdays, but not branded or expensive, because she prefer items that are sentimental.

We have kids and a house. My wife will pay more because she does earn significantly more. With this income difference its difficult to expect equal on everything, but your bf has to able to contribute where he can. Are you both ok with A) you being the key person bringing and managing finance in the family, B) your partner not being able to financially support the family as much as society expects him to?

When we were dating I was also earning about 2-3k, and it was only because my wife didn’t want proposal and wedding, I was able to save up and take a diploma course and changed to a new industry that pays better. Now that you’re dating you may not think much of the income difference, but when marriage, house, kids come in, both of your expectations have to align.

My wife, although she earns and manages our household finances, she will still seek my opinion when it comes to making decisions, and I appreciate it. She still makes me feel valued though she doesn’t need my money, and I think this is important.

Family and friends could also be an issue. My wife’s family was very against me because I was not a local u grad like her, and I was a 2-3k earner. But after they realised that I’m the person she is happy with, it doesn’t matter anymore.

I used to think that as a man you need to be the one to provide for the family, and by that standards I’m not good enough. My wife, she will tell me that I have my own strengths and things that I’m better at than her, so I really think I struck gold with her in this lifetime haha.

To end off, it is possible if you two truly love each other. I hope you two work out.

My girlfriend wears black all the time.

When we first started dating, she used to wear a variety of colors. I still remember she wore this floral dress which showed off her figure on our first date. I was already deeply attracted to her. Not only is she a stunner, she also has a heart of gold. I know I’m lucky to have her.

But as time past, she starts to wear more dull and baggy clothes. We have been dating for over a year and I have forgotten when was the last time she was not in a full on black ensemble when we meet. Even at her home she wears all black. I casually asked her about it as I was wondering why but she just said she preferred it.

She did not gain weight nor did was there any issues that she mentioned. It’s like she stopped caring to feast my eyes when we meet. I do notice she dresses fancier when she meets her gfs and this starts to make me feel lesser. She can dress up for her gfs why cant she dress up for me like how I take care of myself for her? She doesn’t like my prickly chin during the weekends so I shave literally every single day for her even when I’m not going to work. And I continued to lift weights because she told me she like muscular arms.

I do praise her appearance because she told me she likes to hear it but she wears black all the time. How to praise when I can’t even see the outline of her shape? Your baggy shirt dress makes you look gorgeous baby? I feel silly saying that.

Can someone help me understand what’s going on with my gf because I can’t seem to get a proper answer out of her?

Here are what netizens think:

• Den u wear pink. All the way. Then when she finally ask, if she finally ask, say coz we are Blacpink.

• She deserve a better bf who cherish her beyond her clothings.

• Fashion taste change. Maybe as she matures she doesn’t like colorful stuff anymore. One doesn’t need colorful or floral to look good. Little black dress is a fashion staple. I’m sure you still can see her figure once she takes it all off

What is the point of living like this?

Just want to rant.

I have a friend married for only less than 1 year. She cheated on her husband with her colleague who was still going through divorce proceedings. Nope, she is not the Xiao 3, it just happens after they started the procedure. And it was the guy who approached her. Not finding excuses for her though.

Everything was “fine” till the husband found out. Surprisingly he forgave her and welcomed her back into their “nest” after she promised to make a clean cut with the other guy.

This friend of mine is very very close to me and we talk on the phone every other day. I was the only child and she was my only playmate back in our school days. That is almost 30 years of friendship.

But I know she is not happy because she feels indebted to her forgiving husband. He will also always remind her of her wrongdoings. There is one night when she called me and her husband snatched the phone over and asked who is it! He knew me so he let her have the phone back but I could feel so much rage in his voice.

It happened a few times more and once I heard him slapped her. It happened with a slapping sound followed by my friend screaming and then a thud. She was crying and then the line was cut. I couldn’t get through to her for a whole 2 hours. I tried to find her address to see if she is ok but I realized I didn’t have her new house address.

Later she called back and said she fell while trying to stop her husband from taking her phone away. I kinda doubted it but she insisted so I never pressed on. I only reminded her that somethings will not only happen once and it’s up to her to walk out. She responded that she doesn’t want to be lonely.

We talked a lot lesser after that incident and she will always try to cut the conversation short. I met her mother a week ago in our neighborhood and she told me she is so disappointed in my friend for cheating. She even hinted that she is ungrateful for she is still complaining when her husband was magnanimous enough to forgive her. I am very shocked that even her mother was taking the side of the husband and blaming my friend. Now she has no support or anyone to talk to! I can’t help but feel it’s the husband who told the mother. I know my friend’s relationship with her mother. They’re not on very good terms and my friend doesn’t like to appear weak in front of he mother. I don’t think she will ever tell her.

I don’t know what’s happening to her now because she seems to be keeping a distance. But I couldn’t help but feel so sorry for her. Is it so important to keep a unhealthy relationship that you need to endure all this kind of abuse?

I know I can do nothing. Just ranting.

I was about to start my reservist when I heard a jaw-dropping conversation.

My bunkmates were talking about how some of them had “bought” Vietnam wives instead of finding a Singaporean woman. I was shocked and could not believe what I was hearing.

I couldn’t understand why anyone would choose to buy a wife from a foreign country, especially when it came to the issue of marriage. I understand that a lot of people find it difficult to find a Singaporean woman because of financial requirements and other stuff, but that was no excuse for buying a wife.

I felt that it was a very wrong thing to do, and I was surprised that some of my bunkmates had resorted to such a thing.

My bunkmates explained to me that they had gone to Vietnam and met with a “marriage broker” who promised to find them a suitable wife. They had paid a large sum of money to the broker, and in return, he had arranged for them to be married to a Vietnamese woman.

They had only met their wives for a couple of days before deciding if they want to marry them and they had no real idea what kind of person they were marrying.

Lonely

I was appalled by this and I could not comprehend why anyone would do such a thing. I asked my bunkmates why they had chosen to take this route, and they explained that it was because they were lonely. They had been trying for many years and could not find one in Singapore. They had no one to turn to for companionship, and so they had decided to buy a wife from abroad.

I could understand why my bunkmates had resorted to this, but I still could not condone it. Buying a wife from a foreign country was wrong, and I told them so. I also told them that this was not the right way to find a wife and that they should look for a Singaporean woman instead.

My bunkmates were not happy with my advice and they argued that they did not have the time or the money to find a Singaporean woman. They said that they had already paid the marriage broker and that they did not have the resources to start a proper courtship with a Singaporean woman.

I could understand their dilemma, It was an eye-opening experience for me, and it showed me the lengths some people are willing to go to in order to find companionship.

You are not alone

Accept and embrace what life throws at you.

F, turning 40 yrs old this Nov, I am still stubborn at certain things. Just so in my blood that I find it hard to let go.

I grew up in a patriarchal family. Growing up, my life sucks. All the good things went to my younger brother, and I have sapu all the housework and even wash plates in the kitchen during occassions like CNY. Queing to get angpao from grandparents also.. I was the last. My dad was the eldest son in the family, hence Ah gong and Ah ma doesn’t like me , they were all time biased and think that my younger brother is the ‘eldest’. I am always forgotten and easily left out, even though I lived with my parents where there’s just only 4 of us. Long story short.. you can imagine how insecure I am when I was a teenage girl. But I hide it so well that no one notices.. and yes, NO ONE NOTICES.

I have not talked to my dad for the past 20 over years. Father’s image in my life was just so blurred. I get very jealous and envy when I see some daughters being their daddy’s favourite girl. I have no idea what is the impact of not having dad in my life growing up until I had my baby girl born0 in 2015. I have a very bland relationship with my mum as well, as she shown a lot of bias to my younger brother which has somehow pissed me off a lot.

After my girl was born, I realised I was a really lousy mum. All the love I was missing from my original family almost torn my own family apart. Depression, emotional distress, communication.. they just fell apart like a breaking wall. I treated my girl exactly like how I was being treated.. yelling, lots of scolding, beating, etc.. I just doesn’t know how to love her PROPERLY. It came to a point until now that l always feel like I just can’t maintain my sanity. I am very worried about her growing up yet I clearly know that I have to work on myself first..

But, it’s so tough. Coping with all kinds of stresses here in SG, with no family support from both sides parents- you get explode very easily.

How to really work on myself ??!

Divorced sis-in-laws would like to stay with us after our wedding

Me and my bf know each other due to his elder sister introduction. His sister really likes me to be her bro’s future wife. In short, we and my bf dated a few months and decided to be in a commitment relationship.

And out of sudden, his sister said she would like to stay with us after our wedding with her 2 kids ( age 6 and 4).

My bf asked for my permission if I am okay to stay with them. But I said no, it’s not that I don’t like them but I don’t want to stay with any in laws once I build my own family.

His sister knows about it and she is not happy about it and his family demanding to pay allowance if his sister is not staying with us.

P.S His parents are not in Singapore and she has to stay either one of her 2 bros. My bf is younger one. Currently she is staying with her elder bro.

How to deal with it without being rude to them? Her ex husband is useless and child support from ex husband is not an option.

Am I too selfish for not allowing to stay with us?

Here are what netizens think:

• Buy one get 3 free. Consider yourself very fortunate that unlike the same deal during Singapore elections where the GRC system is concerned, u have significant choice here. If u don’t like the compulsory freebies, there may be other more desperate women who don’t mind, maybe foreigner spouses (e.g. Vietnamese) etc who are married on pretex of human trafficking to become your boyfriend family maid etc. Unless u are very sacrificial to take the place of the foreigner selected to be his spouse (aka family maid), better drop this BF ASAP. Hopefully, his new GF will also run away too, before it is too late. He should form a ‘family nucleus ‘ with his divorced sister, get a BTO HDB flat, and help her bring up her kids. PS: When divorced elder sis intro u to her brother (your BF), she wasn’t looking for a spouse for her brother, as much as she was looking for a maid to serve her.

• Hmmm seems like she has her agenda to introduce you to her brother. But that doesn’t mean you are obligated to her request or want. It’s not easy to live with another family, likely more nightmares than peace. There are many options for her, apply her own flat or rent a place. You rather pay the in-laws allowances which usually we do give our parents when we started working but within your means that based on how much they want. Your reason given that you want to build your own family is more than valid. Be careful they may approach from the angle stay till you have your own kid.. never give in cause once she moves in, it will be 100 times more difficult to get her move out even if you have your kids. You rather upset them now than later, which will be very ugly. If you bf can’t agree, then move on without him. Cut early than too late.

• She probably chose you over any other girls because she has her own agenda of using you as a meal / lodging ticket. Either you put a stop to her demands or reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. If he sees logic in your case and supports you over his sister, he is worth keeping.