Should I feel guilty for allowing my bf to dote on me?

I have been together with my bf for 1+ years. He has always been the perfect gentleman to me, and we talk about having a future together.

He likes to spoil me E.g. taking me out to expensive restaurants for special occasions (almost 4 digit bill). One time, I went on a solo trip (his company had an emergency) and he upgraded my flight to first class as he felt bad for ditching me. After he got a promotion at work, he gave me a big angpao to thank me for being a supportive gf. When I had a really bad sore throat from COVID, he bought me a few jars of high grade manuka honey. When I saw the invoice I almost got a heart attack!

As I come from a relatively humble background, I am unused to such spending habits- growing up, even buying fresh milk at NTUC was considered a luxury.

I feel particularly uncomfortable as my salary is significantly lower than his and I can’t afford to reciprocate at the same level. My parents always taught me ”拿人手短，吃人嘴软” (if you spend someone else’s money, you’re indebted to them) and never accepted expensive gifts. One of my more cynical (and socialist) friends thinks he just likes showing off his bourgeoisie tastes and that he’s basically buying me like I’m a product by throwing money at me.

I’m conflicted as to how I feel about this. On the one hand, I feel very lucky to have such a doting boyfriend who would be considered a catch by many. Although he’s not super handsome by conventional standards, he is quite fit and dresses well. He also has a great sense of humour and is very popular with colleagues and friends. I think he would make a great father to our future children. I can’t lie and say that i don’t enjoy being pampered once in a while, and I also can’t fault him for his spending habits as he has more than enough savings and revenue streams for a financially comfortable future. However, I also can’t get rid of the nagging sense of guilt at the back of my mind everytime he splurges on me, especially given our vast contrast in earning power. Is it problematic for me to continue accepting his gifts while giving much less in return?

I’ve been getting calls from a headhunter for months now. He always calls at the same time every day, and he always asks the same question: do I want to sell insurance?

At first, I thought it was a joke, but after a few weeks, I started to get a little concerned.

At first, I thought it was just a nuisance and ignored the calls. But they kept coming, every day. I couldn’t understand why he was so determined to get me to sell insurance. I’m not even sure I know what it is!

I decided to confront the headhunter and ask him why he was calling me. He told me that he was hired by an insurance company to find the right candidate to sell their products. He said that he had done a lot of research on me and found out that I was an ideal candidate.

He said that the insurance company was willing to pay me a very high salary and provide me with all the resources I needed to be successful. He said that this would be a great opportunity for me to make a lot of money and have a successful career.

I had never sold insurance before, so I wasn’t sure if I would be good at it. But the headhunter was very persuasive and kept telling me how much money I could make if I took the job. After a few weeks of thinking it over. I finally decided enough is enough.

I started to insult the man on the phone and tell him to stop calling me.

I called him back every day and ask him if he want to help me sell pork belly in the market, “Now very lucrative, the price per kilo up almost 15%”.

I did it continuously for 10 days until he stopped calling me to sell insurance.

These people are really like pest.

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I think my girlfriend needs to trim down there.

As someone who prides himself on being a romantic, I’ve always tried to do some of the most creative and loving things for my girlfriend. From writing her love letters to taking her out for a romantic dinner, I’ve always strived to make sure she feels special.

But recently, I realized that there was an issue that I hadn’t considered before. I had noticed that my girlfriend had quite a bit of hair down there, but I didn’t think too much of it.

That is, until I made the mistake of going down there.

The sight of my girlfriend’s pubic hair was enough to make me feel like I needed a compass to not get lost. I felt like I was in a jungle and I didn’t know which way to turn. I was so taken aback by the amount of hair that I had to take a few steps back and take a deep breath.

My girlfriend was embarrassed, but I told her it was okay. I explained to her that it was just a bit of a shock, and that I was sure she was beautiful no matter how much or how littlehair she had.

So I ran to the toilet and grab my electric shaver and came back. She started running away and refused to let me trim for her.

I say I will give her a number one same as my last time army hair style. So after the scuffle. She gave in

To her credit, my girlfriend was really understanding. She explained that she had been growing out her pubic hair for a while and didn’t realize how much it had grown.

She said that she had gone through a period of time where she felt like she needed to grow it out to feel beautiful, but that she was now ready to trim it down.

I was relieved to hear my girlfriend’s response, and we talked about ways that she could trim it down. I offered to help her with the trimming, and we both decided that it would be a good idea for her to start with a small trim and then work her way up as she felt comfortable.

Since then, my girlfriend has been trimming her hair every few weeks. I no need chiong sua in army down there already.

My girlfriend told me she wanted $4,000 a month after marriage I was taken aback.

We had been dating for five years and up until now, she had never mentioned wanting money in exchange for her services.

We both had decent jobs and she had always been independent, so I couldn’t understand why she was now insisting on this.

The conversation started out as a discussion about our plans for the future.

We had just gotten engaged and we were in the process of discussing our wedding plans. I had been talking about the financial aspects of the wedding, when she suddenly said that after the wedding, she didn’t plan to continue working, cooking, or cleaning. She proposed that instead she should be paid $4,000 a month for her services.

I was shocked and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I had always known that my girlfriend was independent and self-sufficient, so why was she now insisting on being paid for her domestic duties? I asked her to explain her reasoning and she said that she wanted to be compensated for her time and energy. She said that if she was expected to take on all the domestic duties, she deserved to be paid for it.

I understand where she is coming from, but I don’t think that money should be the main motivation for doing something. I think it’s important for couples to be supportive of each other and to do their part in the relationship without expecting monetary compensation. I also don’t think it’s fair to expect one partner to do all the cooking and cleaning while the other doesn’t. It should be a shared responsibility.

I tried to explain this to my girlfriend, but she was unmovable in her stance. She said that if I was unwilling to pay her, then she would not take on any domestic duties in our marriage. I didn’t want to put her in a situation where she felt she had to choose between her independence and her relationship, so I decided to try and work out a compromise.

I suggested that we both contribute to the domestic duties in our marriage and that she would receive a small monthly stipend to cover her expenses.

Guess what, She said no and talk as if she is a princess from a fairy tail.

Can anyone tell me what to do? It’s like flushing 5 years of my life down the toilet if I broke up with her.

My rich/spoilt flatmates used loads of gas yesterday and when confronted acted like they didn’t know why.

The other day I was out with my girlfriend at a restaurant. We had been dating for a few months and had decided to go out for dinner.

The restaurant she wanted to go was the kind of place where the food was very expensive and the portions were small. As we were eating, I noticed my girlfriend taking pictures of the food and posting them to her Instagram account. It was then that I realized what was going on – she was taking pictures of the food for her Instagram account.

At first, I thought it was kind of cute, but then I started to get annoyed. I knew that she was more interested in posting pictures on Instagram than in actually enjoying the food. After all, she had chosen this expensive place just so she could have something to post on her page. As I watched her take pictures, I started to feel like she was more concerned with making sure everything looked perfect for her Instagram than with actually enjoying the food.

I started to think that maybe this wasn’t the first time she had done this. I started to wonder if she was taking me out to expensive restaurants just to post pictures on Instagram. I realized that I had been paying for all of these expensive meals, just so she could get a few likes on her photos.

At that moment, I knew that I had to call her out on it.

I asked her why she was taking pictures of the food, and she said that she wanted to remember what the meal looked like. I told her that I was getting tired of taking her out to expensive restaurants, just so she could get a few likes on her Instagram.

I told her that I was done with spending money on expensive meals for her just so she could post pictures on her account.

She started to argue with me for a few hour and later promised that she would stop taking pictures of our meals. She said she realized that it was getting a bit out of hand, and she was sorry for taking advantage of the situation.

I appreciated her for understanding where I was coming from, and we agreed to go to more affordable places in the future.

I was out with my buddies at a bar one night, catching up and having some drinks, when I heard a conversation that made my jaw drop.

A few of my other friends were talking about how one of their acquaintances had found out that his boss was a regular in Geylang, the red-light district in Singapore.

They were discussing how this man had seen his boss walking around the area late at night and had realized what he was up to. This particular acquaintance made his way over to the area and saw his boss getting into a car with a woman and he took a photo of it.

I was shocked to hear about this. I couldn’t believe that a respected professional like my boss was so reckless and unprofessional. I started to think about what I should do with this newfound information.

I was already struggling to get ahead at work and had been passed up for promotion several times. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to make a move. I decided to use my knowledge to my advantage and indirectly blackmail my boss into giving me a promotion.

I started to keep an eye on my boss more, making sure I was always around when he had meetings with other staff members. I wanted to make sure he was aware that I had seen him in Geylang and that I knew what he was up to.

He started to look really uncomfortable whenever I was around and eventually started to give me more attention and responsibility.

After a few weeks, I finally got the promotion I had been wanting.

I never confronted my boss directly about what I had seen in Geylang. I was happy enough with the outcome and didn’t want to rock the boat. I know it was wrong to use the information to blackmail my boss, but I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself for taking advantage of the situation.

It’s understandable that people want to make the most of their career, but it’s never worth compromising your integrity for a promotion.

I’m grateful that I managed to get the promotion I wanted without resorting to unethical measures, but I will never forget the lesson I learned.

Sayonara Singapore.

I came to Singapore 15 years ago, thinking of making Singapore my home, as it came on top choices compared to other countries, such as US, Australia and Canada. I have studied here and meet my wife here and had my baby here, however Singapore had a different plan. I am a PR for more than 10 years and they are not ready to give my wife a PR even though she has studied here and been here almost same time as me and they rejected application my wife’s and my child’s PR. So HDB is out of choice. We both make a combined income of 10k+ but more and more money is squeezed out of us. Looks like Singapore Values free money from China and Hong Kong than integrating locally trained people.

At present our house house hold expenditure is more than 80% of our income and our life style is just average, so you can earn and have a decent life in Singapore. But we feel we are just Surviving here and not really living. We are not evening talking about luxury here like car, condo etc. Just a basic life. And it’s same for my Singapore friends but slightly better because of HDB. In general, Singapore is becoming a advanced society with surviving people.

What I see from Govt plan is either you are super rich or under 3k family income rest all will just be rich on paper but poor in real life. All my class mates (locals) have already left Singapore and I didn’t listen to their advice to pack up 10 years ago. Now, I am Surviving. When I tell about these things , most locals will complain you can go back where you came from, but if we keep having such mentalities Singapore will become next Japan.

Right now, govt is happy to collect millions from foreigners ABSB and giving $300 CDC vouchers to keeps locals mouth shut. So, till govt doesn’t prioritise welfare of people, Sg will be millionaires zombie land.

Here are what netizens think:

• So if government gives your wife PR and there will be complains?

• Well… that’s rich coming from a PR earning a combined 10k complaining about cost of living and not being able to get its spouse a PR.

• I’m quite curious what are your household expenses. Spending more than $8k a month is quite interesting if you are saying your family is just average.

I was so embarrassed, I wanted to crawl away and never be seen again.

That was the moment I lost my dignity.

I never thought I’d ever be in a situation like this. My wife, who I thought I knew better than anyone, just announced to our friends at dinner that I was rich, but “short downstairs”. It was a humiliating moment for me; I felt like I had been stripped of my dignity.

I was so embarrassed that I left the restaurant without saying a word. I walked aimlessly for hours, trying to process what had just happened. I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I had been betrayed by the one person I trusted the most.

My wife had always been supportive and loving. I had no idea she would do something like this. I was so angry and hurt by her actions that I wanted to confront her and demand an explanation, but I was too ashamed to face her.

I went home and tried to get some sleep, but my mind kept replaying the whole scene over and over again. I felt like my reputation had been ruined.

Everyone in our social circle would now know about my “shortcomings”.

The next day I was a mess. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn’t even bring myself to go to work. I just stayed home and tried to keep myself busy. I was too embarrassed to even look in the mirror.

I felt like I had lost my dignity. I had been humiliated in front of everyone. I felt like I had been exposed and judged. I was so angry and frustrated that I just wanted to lash out and take revenge on my wife, but I knew deep down that wouldn’t solve anything.

I eventually decided to confront my wife and demand an explanation. She told me that she had been feeling neglected and unappreciated, so she had said what she said in order to get my attention. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I asked her why she thought humiliating me was the right way to get my attention. She just said that she hadn’t thought it through and she was sorry. I couldn’t believe how selfish and thoughtless she had been.

I can’t say that I was completely surprised. We had been having problems in our marriage for a while, but I never thought it would come to this. I was so hurt and disappointed by her actions that I just wanted to get away from it all.

So I left. I packed a few things and moved out of our house. I felt like I had lost my dignity and I wanted to start fresh somewhere else. I still felt ashamed and embarrassed, but I was determined to move on and rebuild my life with out her.

sometimes i wonder if the secret to getting someone to love you is to genuinely believe that you are worthy of love…

i have seen many girls who (to put it bluntly) are kind of narcissistic, they will just go approach a guy with the strong belief that the guy is in love with her. even though at the start the guy may be lukewarm about her. gradually, it really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. it is simply amazing.

but the problem is not everyone is capable of loving themselves (likely due to family problems at a young age), so it seems like the more you dont believe that you are worthy of love, the less likely you will get the love you want. somehow guys have some sensor that this girl doesn’t love herself so i wouldn’t love her either.

haha i guess the part about loving yourself first before finding love is true to a large extent.

Here are what netizens think:

• We all have a basic amount of self love, just whether we allow this to cultivate well or not. And then whether we know how to effect this in our interpersonal relationships with people in life. Nobody is attracted to insecure people, that’s a fact.

• I alw believe in loving yourself first..then you will know clearly on what you actually want in life. If you are always negative about almost everything in life, you don’t deserve to be with a positive person as that person will be tired of hearing all your complaints every sec.

• If you have 2 guys to choose,

an insecure guy who worries and overthink. Because he has low self esteem he is unsure why you are spending time with him.

Versus

A guy with a healthy level of self esteem who is sure of himself and knows how to take the lead.

Both of these guys like you. Which one will you spend time on?

You are what you attract.