I just have to let this out here because It feels like a burden having to shoulder this by myself.

My dad recently retired with no savings. He worked for his whole life, earning abt 4-5k for the last 20 years. Before that i guess he earns less. But he donated most of his money away. We don’t even own luxury goods or alot of stuff.

He does give my mother allowance and with that, she managed to save a small sum of 30k. My parents have chronic illnesses and only my dad has health insurance as my mom didn’t qualify.

So now they are only relying on money me and my siblings give them every month.

To top it all off, my dad has not been paying for the house. He took a bank loan and only paid off the monthly payments once in awhile. Still have over $100k of unpaid mortgage. And you know now all the interest rates are crazy.

And… on top of all this, they still go on holidays with our money. Instead of saving it up. I tried talking to them but to no avail.

I told them i am in a financial bind myself, as my BTO is coming and I need to save up for reno. I also have 2 kids. I don’t stay with them fyi. They told me that it is my fault i am in a financial bind and i should not blame them. But i was not blaming them; i am merely trying to get them to understand their children’s plight so they can learn to save and not waste $ go on holidays.

I have been really stressed over this because anytime, anything can happen. I have siblings but they are all carefree. I feel disappointed with my dad for being so irresponsible. I even think of suicide sometimes. But i know it is not the answer.

Is there an unspoken rule of having to give part of your bonus to mum?

These 2 years it’s getting harder to get along with my mum cos I feel that she has changed, and A LOT.

To her, she expects money (monthly allowance) every month by her working daughters, as and when to bring her to atas places to eat so she can show off to her real life friends and Facebook friends.

When there’s occasions (mothers day, Xmas, birthday etc) she unspokenly expects gifts and meals.

I only found out recently that she is waiting for her working daughters to give her a share of our yearly performance bonus. Her logic is, whatever our income, she wants a piece of it.

Monthly salary, AWS, performance bonus… before we started working, she already told her she wants 10% of our take home pay every month, if not she will chase us out of the house.

I look at my friends around me, their mothers don’t take money from them. Those with families their mothers will even worry if they have enough to support their own family. Why is it that when it comes to me, everything goes on a different direction?

Recently I gave her $500 to sponsor her holiday trip, she moved house I sponsored $1k, then now I jus received my bonus I have to give again?

If I earn a lot and have no family to support ok la, but I have 1 newborn, 1 toddler, 1 helper, 1 car, insurance and so many other expenses to pay every month.. don’t give money means I’m unfillial (her definition), give money I not enough, then how?

As and when we meet up she somehow can always link to the topic that she every month only earns $2400, after cpf deduction left with very little.

I will rebut her saying I give $300, sis give ard $500 min every month. She only has to feed herself why need so much money. She will say still got a 18 years old daughter need to feed.

Oh, slap me. When I was 18, I had to work hard part time to pay for own school fees and support own living expenses. It’s really a different mother now.

Feeling like my looks are all that matter

I gotta get something off my chest real quick. So, I’m 18 and I’ve always been told I’m a pretty girl. But lately, I feel like that’s all anyone cares about.

I can’t help feeling like people only talk to me because of my looks, which makes me feel super insecure. I want people to see me for who I am, not just my face.

Making friends is hard because people assume I’m stuck up or just intimidated by me. And even when I do talk to someone, I can’t help but wonder if they’re only interested in me because I’m pretty.

I know looks aren’t everything, but sometimes it feels like it. It’s tough feeling like no one takes me seriously because of how I look, and it’s really starting to wear me down.

Anyone else been through this? How did you deal with feeling like your looks are all that matter? Any advice on how to show people who I really am and not just my appearance?

Thanks for letting me vent. It feels good to get this off my chest.

Netizens’ comments

1. What you need is a filter to sort out those who only care about how you look.
   One filter is time. Make people invest time and effort to be able to get close to you. Time reveals all sorts of things. Everybody can be at their best behaviour for a while. But not for very long. Also those who don’t really like you as a person will quickly move on to the next pretty girl.
   Also, use your old friends to help filter out the shallow ones. I learned that trick the hard way 🙂
2. First world problems. This person is born with life literally set on easy mode and still manages to complain about how unfair they have it. What a joke.

Hi all, would like some advice from people who’ve been through this situation / HR professionals please.

Signed an offer letter few weeks back (kinda got pressured into signing by HR who only gave 2 working days to consider), was interviewing with other companies back then too.

Just received an offer for a role that is more aligned to career interests.

Thought thru it, feel v bad to HR & hiring manager as I think they’d be angry (from my interactions with them); want to renege signed offer but not sure if there’d be any legal implications? Appreciate any advice please.

Thank you very much.

Netizens’ comments

1. employer-employee relationship doesn’t start until your first day, so no problems on that front
   in theory, you’re liable for reasonable expenses they may have incurred in preparing for your joining them. practically speaking, they can’t do anything to you since (I’m guessing) it’s a relatively low-level role, so any losses they might have suffered will be minimal
   tl;dr: just rescind your acceptance and go with the better offer
2. Will burn the bridge but that is the end of it. Just think of the ppl that were fired recently overnight by email. corporations don’t give a shit if they don’t get money out of it dude
3. Hello there! Current HR person here whose seen many cases like this. Usually no penalties or implications unless they specifically brought you through any clause that mentions a payment or penalty if you don’t start.
   As long as you inform before you start work, all is fine. Wishing you well in your career journey!
4. Just be polite and email them you pull out and receive a better offer. In the future, if you thinking of joining them the chances are lower.
5. I once backed out of a signed offer 1 week before joining the company. Didn’t felt right after I signed the offer and much pondering. Bridges burnt for sure, both with the company and recruitment firm. Guess I won’t be joining the said company in any capacity or hearing from the same recruitment firm thereafter. Other than that, I continued to progress with my career. And guess what… the company closed down after a few years.
6. Absolutely no legal implications- they would blow up / threaten to “black list” you and a ton of such BS – drop them an email, cc HR, the hiring manager etc and firmly let them know this is your final decision ( dont have to mention any reason ) – all the best !

Married for close to 4 years and I’m in my mid thirties this year. Long story short, parents in law are anxious and are always asking when we are gonna have a child.

Well I thought I’ll probably have one and really did try straight after getting married but so far that ain’t working out even tho my partner and I have gone for tests and we are fertile.

Parents aside, I realise my desire for having a child is decreasing as I age? The same goes for my partner. Not sure if I’ll regret not having tried for one harder, esp since I’m alr in my mid 30s.

Just wanna know are there couples here who did not regret choosing to be child free? Or those that have kids but heavily regret it? What are your thoughts?

My reasons on why I’m preferring to be child free (not sure if this is relevant but as you can see from my posts, I’m not a very optimistic person lol)

• kids are generally gonna have it hard in SG (be it mental health or studies)
• ppl are quite fked up in our society, endless Karens and self entitled people are aplenty, so why bring kids into such a terrible society?
• it costs so much to have a kid
• too much sacrifice in terms of personal time ( I highly value my me-time and need hours of it daily)
• never ending competition for kids and parents alike (always have to give them the best if not you’re shitty parents)

List goes on… And my reasons for having one? 2 words lol: family warmth. But this is not guaranteed neither will it be warm given our current societal trends lol.

So I guess maybe I’m seeking some sort of validation in case I regret not having kids now.. what are your thoughts?

Hello. My neighbor is 95 years old and is not likely going to live another year. She’s accepted this fact. She owns a nice home by herself and it is hers; as in, she owns the home and only pays down a loan (not sure the exact name of it) that she pulled out for home renovations.

She briefly discussed giving us the house to ensure her step-son doesn’t get it. I don’t know specifics, but I know she and the step son do not get along and she would roll in her grave if he was able to get the property. She has no other family or children.

Would it be wise to “purchase” this property? What steps do I need to take? I know for a fact this is not as easy as it sounds, and I have never owned a house before.

But since me and this woman have a great relationship, she’s willing to give over the keys once she passes (and she’s accepted that this is going to happen, hence why she’s trying to make arrangements)

Any insight at all appreciated. I have no idea what I’m doing. If you need specific details, please comment! Thanks!

Netizens’ comments

1. You better thank your lucky stars you lived next to this woman, and be careful about what the step son might do in retaliation. I love to only think about the good in people, but if this lady would roll in her grave before giving it to him, I imagine he’s a bad person, so just heads up on that front.
2. Just an additional thing to consider: make a video of her in the lawyer’s office with impartial witnesses as she attests for the camera that she is competent and does NOT want the stepson to inherit.
   My husband and I were the witnesses for an elderly neighbor who did not want one relative to have any share in her estate, and wanted it all to go to another relative. Our neighbor took everyone to lunch and we made the video in the restaurant. This was years ago before cellphones. We had to show up in court when her estate was probated, but other than that it went smoothly.
3. I’m not a lawyer, but she needs a lawyer to advise her. Otherwise you may be accused of manipulating her.
4. Lawyer and iron clad in writing. This happened with our next door neighbor. Similar situation and she promised the house to the family next door who she had known for 30 years.