Eye contact when talking to girls

I don’t really have much experience talking to people in general. So recently i was talking to a female colleague of mine.

Me being the poo-say i am, it was very hard for me to remain eye contact WHILE talking. I feel that it is very uncomfortable especially when you are trying to think of what to say during the conversation while trying to remain eye contact.

Do yall have any tips on trying to remain eye contact especially with someone you find attractive?

Also, is there an appropriate amount of eye contact one should have?

Netizens’ comments

1. i cant even make eye contact with my best friends! it’s that bad. when im thinking, i look up as if im looking at my brain/thoughts. eye contact is so so difficult for me
2. This doesn’t just apply to girls but everyone, when you’re talking, occasionally divert your attention to something in your surroundings for a while, and look back at the person you’re talking to. This can be done a few times to prevent yourself from constantly staring at someone throughout a conversation. Some suitable hand gestures and head tilts when talking helps, but this isn’t easily demonstrated in a comment so you could look up some Youtube videos on that.
   If you’re having this problem specifically when talking to girls, then it’s important to realise not to put someone on a pedestal. They’re also another human being with hopes, dreams and desires just like us, not some special person you’re so concerned with their opinion of you. It makes you less confident in talking since you’re constantly thinking about how you should behave a certain way rather than really being in the conversation in the moment.
   If you find yourself being nervous, slow down your breathing and take some deep breathes, which help to calm yourself down.
3. I tend to avoid eye contact when talking to a female. Like I will make eye contact but I would say like 20-40% of the time. My eyes will dart left and right above their face level.
4. Eh, it’s not always a must to maintain eye contact. If fact, it may be counter productive if you’re not that close to the other person. Sometimes it can feel a bit aggressive too.
   Look at the end of nose, but once in a while shift to the nose bridge and back. Don’t look at the lips because it’s a precursor to a kiss.
5. Eye contact is more important in western culture, it’s kinda a show of sincerity/interest for us, but it can be uncomfortable even for westerners. Don’t worry too much about it here.

Addicted to doing Food Delivery as a working adult and degree student

I’m (24M) feeling disillusioned and jaded with my job. Although I work full-time, I also do part-time food delivery after work each week.’I’m (24M) feeling disillusioned and jaded with my job. Although I work full-time, I also do part-time food delivery after work each week.

Strangely enough, I look forward to delivering food because it’s so straightforward and I feel free to exercise and enjoy the scenery while earning extra money. I am able to get by and save comfortably with my current arrangement.

It’s a contrast to my office job, where I have to use my brainpower. However, I understand that I shouldn’t have this mindset and attitude since I have a local diploma and am pursuing a part-time degree.

However, I’m not saying that food delivery is a job for those with lower education, but I should be aiming for more with my education; otherwise, I’ll be wasting my time, money, and effort.

At this point, it’s clear to me that I prioritize having time and freedom. However, I’m afraid that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to maintain this perspective as I realize the importance of earning a substantial income.

Who else feels this way in a similar fashion?

Netizens’ comments

1. Homie just discovering that their passion might be incompatible with the mindless rat race that a lot of people is pressured to follow. I think you could try to analyze what exactly is that you love about delivery and try to search for a professional path that lets you do that?
2. I’m actually on a similar boat as you. I’m almost graduating from NUS from a computing course and already secured a SWE job after graduation. The pay is good and I don’t really need the extra money from food delivery but I think I may continue doing it from time to time.
   Over the past 4 years, I would often go out in my free time to deliver. Even during my internship, I would do it after work or even during my lunch break. I have substantial savings and school fees are already covered by bursary so it’s not really about the money.
   Like you, I enjoy that it’s a good way to exercise and very straightforward. Each job is just finding the optimal way to restaurant, collect food, and find the optimal way to customer and done. Once a delivery is done, there is no more followup. Every order is a fresh start and you don’t have to think about the previous one. You also get to enjoy visiting different parts of singapore and corners of malls that you didn’t know existed. My favourite is going up office buildings, shophouses, and some condos. I usually work as a walker in downtown/city area so the variety in places to visit is really huge.
   I can’t really advise OP but just want to let you know that I can relate to it.
3. The challenge of doing food delivery is the income trap. There is no real progression in doing food delivery as a career. Long term it is not a viable career as there is no growth. The office job is important for you to build you CV in your chosen profession.

My boyfriend doesn’t like my tattoos, saying he can’t guarantee he’ll stay with me if I get any more

I (18F) need some advice on what to do going forward with my (18M) boyfriend. My boyfriend is this amazing loving, supportive guy.

We’ve been together only a few months now but we just click so well. The only thing we can’t seem to agree on are my tattoos.

He says he just doesn’t find them attractive and feels conflicted because he knows how much I love them and doesn’t want to stop me from getting them, he just feels he’ll lose attraction for me.

He says if I get anymore he can’t guarantee he’ll stay with me. Now I don’t know what to do because I love him so much, but getting tattoos brings be so much joy and I love adorning my body in such a way. Do you have any advice?

TLDR: is it worth getting more tattoos if my boyfriend might break up with me?

Netizens’ comments

1. I don’t know is it worth it? only you know the value of your relationship. I can go ahead and break it to you now though, odds are against your relationship lasting(no matter what you choose) so keep that in mind. I mean they are really against your relationship lasting.
2. I’m gonna be more prescriptive here and say, yeah, it’s totally worth it to break up. This is one of those things, where, even if the bf doesn’t have any malicious intentions, he still comes off accidentally being controlling and manipulative.
   I’d chalk it up to youth and emotional growing pains, but there’s a valuable lesson here: for bf, if you don’t like tattoos, maybe don’t date the inked up girl; what’s next, complain that your peanut-allergic gf won’t make you peanut butter brittle? For you, OP, a very important lesson is that “I love him so much and he’s almost perfect” isn’t enough. We are 99% genetically identical to chimps, but no one’s overlooking that one percent just because they love the chimp so much.
   On a more serious note: you can choose to not get tattoos and then low key resent him for the rest of your life, or he could accept that you’re going to get more and resent you. Either way, doomed relationship. The very fact that he’s even dating you with all preferences laid clear tells me that he’s not going to suddenly have an insightful breakthrough that will save your relationship.

My partner (25F) consumes all my (23M) money, help

my girlfriend represents a very large financial expense for me. Dinners, outings, trips, she even gave me a pet that I have to take care of, feed and pay for vets for the rest of his life.

I don’t know if this is worth it, I have a good salary but she consumes everything. She continues studying and all the money she receives comes from her parents.

I don’t want to spend my life wondering how I’m going to pay off my credit card next month and spending it all on this.

At the beginning of the relationship, she disrespected me a lot and hurt me a lot, and that is something that continues to affect me, she makes me ask: is all this worth it?

we have talked about this. She has changed, I have explained the situation to her and she has told me that it is okay for her to spend less, but despite everything, I know that she is not happy with that, I know that she did not like that talk.

I’m afraid of hurting her if I left her, I know that despite everything she loves me, but I don’t know what to do.

I have goals and in this way I will not achieve anything, if it were not for her, I would have already made the trip of my dreams and I could be better financially.

Help me, I don’t know what to do. My credit card debt is getting bigger.

Netizens’ comments

1. You obviously don’t like her anymore, why not just break it off now, if you feel your relationship is based around consumerism rather than love then there is no hope. If you got married, would the vow ‘for richer or for poorer’ matter? If you think not then there is probably no future.
   To start why not make a list of all the good and bad points in your relationship, compare and if you think it’s mostly bad then just break up.
2. She’s using you. If you tell her you can’t continue spending the way you are and she chooses to ignore that, understand she does not respect you and just wants what you’re providing.
3. Ask yourself if you’re trying to buy your gf’s love. You’re living beyond your means to make her happy, and even when she tells you that it’s ok to spend less on her you don’t believe her. You even acknowledge that you’re throwing away your future to do this.
   Remember that you can always rehome a pet. Tell her that you simply can’t afford to take care of it anymore and offer her to take it, otherwise start looking for a good home for it. Let her know how seriously in debt you are and stop going on expensive dinners, outings, and trips. Learn to cook her favorite meal, enjoy time at home with her, visit a local museum, etc. Don’t be afraid that she’ll leave you if you stop paying for everything. If she does, she didn’t love you anyway.

Last week I (25 m) found out that my fiancée (24 f) cheated with her boss. I’m not sure of his age but he’s in his mid 40’s. I also know he’s married and he has three kids. This happened last November on a work trip and the “did it” 3 times.

How do I know? Well her boss’s wife messaged me on Facebook and told me. She’s also provided me with screenshots of texts and emails between them.

Graphic discussions about how they cheated on us. Also how they got over on us and they joke about it. But then she’ll tell him in the same texts that she loves me so this can never come out!

The boss’s wife, who seems very sweet (I’ve met her at company functions before) is understandably enraged and heartbroken and is having him served with divorce papers tomorrow. She’s also going to drop a friendly email to their HR department.

So I’m sitting here on my phone typing this and she’s across from me on the sofa on the computer planning a honeymoon trip for after a wedding she has no idea is never going to happen.

She’s completely oblivious to the fact that her life is going to fall apart tomorrow. I don’t feel any sympathy at all since mine fell apart last week and every time I read those texts and emails I feel like someone is sticking a knife in my heart.

Three years down the drain. I’m just thankful I found out before we got married. I guess there’s that to be thankful for. She has no idea but I took a day off tomorrow.

After she leaves for work I’m going to go around my place and collect up all her stuff. Box it up and have it sitting by the door.

Then I have to figure out if I can get any of the money I’ve already laid out for the wedding back. It was supposed to happen in October but, yeah, that’s not happening. And when she comes home I’m going to throw her out of my apartment and out of my life.

I’ve debated posting all those screenshots on her Facebook page but my sister talked me out of it. I also debated calling her parents. I feel bad for them as they are such great people and I’m going to miss her family.

They’ve accepted me as one of their own and I don’t know what they’re going to say. But I’ve decided that she can explain herself to them. I don’t want to hear her excuses or her lies.

At this point I just want her out of my life so I can figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.

My partner (29M) and I (25F) have been together for 10 months. The relationship is fine, he treats me very well and does everything I could ask a partner to do for me.

He’s very handsome and kind, but he has terrible body odor. He cleans himself daily and has good hygiene practices, but he still smells bad very often.

He can’t tell when he stinks so he doesn’t know when he has B.O. At first, it wasn’t a huge problem because I thought we could find something to help keep him smell better.

But it’s been months, and I’ve tried getting him all sorts of hygiene products and educating him on what causes body odor and ways to prevent it.

I hint at maybe jumping in the shower when we’re going to bed if he does smell. But he would rather just shower in the morning before work.

This whole problem has made me struggle with attraction towards him. I don’t like to be close to him when he smells, and it makes it very hard to be intimate or romantic with him.

I’m at a point where I’m really struggling to want to keep this relationship going. He treats me so well, and I don’t want to let go of a healthy relationship. But I don’t know what else to do, his B.O. makes it so hard to be around him.

What can I do to fix his BO? Is this even worth any more of my time?

Netizens’ comments

1. Has he been to a doctor, just to see if there’s a possible medical cause?
   • (OP) Every time I mention going to a doctor, he brushes it off. There’s been other situations where I’ve suggested getting things looked at. He says he’ll look into it, but never does.
2. Not to be crude, but does he seem to change his underwear often? I work with a 20-some year old guy who’s super nice but he smells putrid. And he doesn’t have that greasy, unkempt appearance that you’d expect. He smells rotten and my coworker and I can’t help but reluctantly notice that the smell seems to emanate from his pants.
   Improper wiping habits combined with not washing between the cheeks could create an all-around stinkfest. The comments above about fungi/bacterial skin infections seem very likely in this scenario but if that’s not the case, the source could very well be his rear (sorry, this can’t be fun to ponder on).