I think I deserve better

There’s this guy I met online. He’s my age and he cooks steak and shares my faith.

I mean the only reason I hold on is because I feel like he’s nice, shares my faith and my wishes and taste. Plus he can cook and clean . But recently, he didn’t give me the sense of security and assurance I need when it comes to the topic of cheating. He’d give me that giggle like he’s hiding something. Weird.

It also didn’t help that my friend told me that all married men cheat behind their wives’ back. A bit hesitant to marry but also don’t wanna be alone.

I calculated that it would take $20k to start a family of 2 kids.

I feel that somehow, I deserve a better guy

I earn more than my current partner. I earn close to $10k. I can cook, I clean, I can grow plants too. Plus I am better than him in bed, I usually I initiate it. He lasts maybe 10min. I can go on for an hour 3x a day. Do I deserve better?

Here are what netizens think:

• too full of yourself

• If you think you deserve better with all your so-called attributes and earning power, you ought to go ahead and find better guys out there. Why are you complaining here?

• Why is it a question anymore? Asking for advice so you will feel less guilty? You already despised him. Looks like you think he is inferior to you in all aspects. By the way you use the word “nice” so you have no attraction for him. The thorn of the issue is earning power right? Leave and go get a more “superior” man. I’m sure you can . You think only you have options and he doesn’t have?

• However “all married men cheat” is an emotional sweeping statement and doesn’t do justice to countless faithful married men out there.

I’ve spoken before about strange goings on in my house. This one happened just two days ago.

My son came to me with something in his hand. It was a small, slim pencil that was chewed at one end. It has an upside down cross carved on it and it clearly looked old.

I asked him where he found it and he said it was in his room. I was too excited about the find to really ask him anything else.

Later that night I asked my son to show we where he found the pencil, as it dawned on me that when we moved in we’d completely cleared the unit and re-decorated.

I expected him to say he’d found it under a cupboard or something, but he said it was sitting in the middle of his room.

I’d never seen that pencil before, and can’t understand what it would be doing in the centre of the room, just a day after I’d vacuumed upstairs. No one can explain it.

Has anyone else had objects appear in the house that you can’t account for? This isn’t particularly scary, but coupled with other strange goings-on it certainly seems odd.

Netizens comments

Has this repeatedly happen?

I know my friend shared a story about how he moved into an apartment with his girlfriend at the time who has a deadly reaction to nuts.

He told me on numerous occasions how when the girl would come back from work, there’d be random walnuts randomly found around the place. One in the fridge, one time in the bed…in the bathroom, he told me she said “like are you trying to kill me?”

Very very suspicious ..

I really regret joining the property industry, I was brainwashed into thinking that it was really easy money, but the truth of the matter is, it’s the farthest thing from the truth.

Let me break it to everyone and anyone who has even a hint of interest in joining the property industry, don’t waste your time and money (yes, you will spend money before you earn), only the top 5% make money, the rest and struggling to survive.

Don’t give up a stable salaried career for this bulls-t.

For those who are considering joining the real estate industry as a real estate agent; PLEASE I urge u to think twice. Especially if you’re leaving a stable salaried job to do this.

Don’t be fooled by the posts of your friend posting their awards & fancy cars and crap on social media and think it’s so easy. It’s not.

Don’t get brainwashed by the managers who are trying to recruit you that it’s such good money and that you can also do it. They earn an overriding commission from their team members so of course the more the merrier. My team manager makes $30-60k a month alone on his team overriding commission; and that’s on top of his own sales. Don’t forget that these people are highly skilled salesmen who can sell ice to eskimos.

The reality is that only the TOP 1-5% of ALL agents make good money & the rest are barely making it. I am not exaggerating. The people in the Top 5% are making all the money.

If you’re not in the Top 5%, u can totally forget about it. There are over 30,000 agents in Singapore- u do the Maths.

In my first 2-3years, I burned through all my hard-earned savings on PropertyGuru credits (I think burned about 5k), various training courses (3k here and 6k there), various apps & misc expenses.

Besides PropertyGuru, there’s also EdgeProp & 99.co- also need to buy credits.

Another 20-30k burned on Facebook & Google Ads.

In this industry, you will burn a lot of money first (easily 20k or more in your first year) before u even make your first cent.

If you do not have at least 12 months of expenses saved PLUS min $20k for all these necessary expenses, don’t even consider it.

That’s not the worst part. Just because u burn money on PropertyGuru, Facebook & Google Ads doesn’t mean u will get genuine leads.

95% of all your leads are time wasters. They don’t respond when u contact them. Msg never reply. Or they will make an appointment with you & then never show up. A lot of people who fill up your lead form on Facebook are just bored and have no genuine intention to sell or buy property. Cold leads from online marketing are almost impossible to close. Most of them are just “look-see only”. I spent over $20k to learn this the hard way. Don’t be like me.

I cannot tell u how many times people have flown my plane. I travel down to the location and waited for an hour & the person never show up.

If you’re a woman, you’ll constantly get harassed by nuisance calls and texts by random male strangers. Because our contact number is readily available online, many men will think it’s okay to take your number and abuse it freely. Pretend to be a buyer interested to buy property, and then after wasting your time for hours, ask if you’re single.

Every day I will get at least one dodgy text or DM from some creepy anonymous male stranger on various platforms. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

This year after deducting expenses, not only did I not make any $$, I lost around $15-20k.

It’s sad to think that the people working in McD & cleaners actually earn more than me.

The truth is- You’ll HATE the job UNLESS you’re a natural salesman who genuinely loves interacting with people. The keywords are “GENUINELY LOVES”.

I am an introvert, I hate going out, I hate interacting with people in general and I suffer every day in this job.

So please take my advice. Don’t do it. It’s very painful & not as lucrative as many people think.

Most agents make around $50-100k a year? Might as well stick to a regular day job with CPF and benefits.

The real perk is the security of knowing u have a fixed paycheck coming in every month.

The dumbest thing one can do is leave a stable salaried job for this “job” where U actually have to pay money to do things U hate & talk to people u can’t stand, every day going around for viewing after viewing like a free tour guide. 

People don’t care about wasting your time, cos you’re just an agent.

Nobody will tell u this because frankly, those who are struggling won’t admit to anyone they’re struggling, and the few who are doing very well won’t understand why you’re struggling.

I just wish somebody had told me this years ago.

Disclaimer, before I begin I just wanna emphasize that this was a prim and proper, legitimate Thai massage parlour, with no hanky panky.

I wanted a good and proper massage because I was suffering from a sore back and for some reason I can’t seem to turn my neck or bend down to pick up things.

I have previously been to this particular outlet before and the owner had given me a wonderful massage. They only place a light cotton sheet over you as a drape.

Today I went and one of the other girls did my massage. I was not wearing anything face down and she was massaging my bum.

She ran her fingers up to just behind my balls and began pressing me there. I went from sleepy flaccid to wide awake and hard.

I lifted my butt up a little off the table just to see what she would do and she ran her hand right in and up to my front.

She did not touch my genitals but grazed my balls with her hand. It was so thrilling and unexpected and I suddenly realised I was about to come.

I had gone past the point of trying to suppress it and I couldn’t believe this had happened so fast. In that nanosecond I thought of just lying there but knew that it would be a decision I would soon regret.

I jumped off the table holding my offending member and catching a large handful of warm come. The poor masseuse was asking me was I alright and had she hurt me.

I had my back to her and was desperately looking for tissues. She came over and stood beside me and looked down at my hands that were still around my genitals.

She then understood what had happened and I apologised to her. I asked for some tissues and she left the room. I heard her talking to the owner and I wished I could disappear.

The girl returned with one small tissue that did nothing but become part of the mess. I had to ask for more and finally she brought back enough. I quickly cleaned up and got dressed.

The gushy tissues went in my pocket and I snuck out of the room. I gave the masseuse $50 and once again apologised to her and telling her I was embarrassed.

The owner was sitting near the front door watching me and I quickly left. Can I ever return to this massage parlour again or am I now considered a pervert?

During my time in NS, throughout the whole two years, I painstakingly scrimped and saved and managed to save about $10k to $12k by the time I ORDed, and wanted to grow that money through investments.

So back then, I knew absolutely nothing about investments at all, at the time, and the only thing I knew was *name redacted*, a famous investment expert in Singapore because he kept popping up in ads everywhere, I’m sure you have heard of him.

So I paid about $1.7k to attend one of his investment courses, where there was a free 3.5 hour seminar about the basics of forex trading and investments in general.

He then later invited us to the “advanced classes” of his investment course that ran for about 4 days, and he said there was a “one time promotional fee” of $1.7k, and that the usual fee was $2k.

And to be honest, personally, I feel like I learned nothing throughout the whole 4 days of the investment course. Half the time he appeared to be talking to himself. Anyway, I later went online and found the same things that he was teaching, was availalable for free on YouTube.

Everything that he taught in the investment course could be found on YouTube, and I could’ve saved that $1.7k…

Anyway long story short, I lose the whole of my NS savings through Forex trading, and I do have some other money in Crypto, but they are in the red now, so my losses could be even worse.

Netizens’ comments

1. If the expert is so good, why is he open lesson to teach u to get rich. He will be sitting on beach invest for himself…. 
2. If he found a good way to make easy money you think he will share? Which human is not selfish?
3. You sound like someone who would spend money on magic beans, Jack.
4. All basic information. I attend before. Cannot use one

So I was covering a couple of night shifts for a coworker who was having a surgery at the time. The first nights were fine, minus the 4am drowsiness. Well the third night took a weird turn. Around 2am nature called and against my best wishes had to poop.

So then I went across the hall to the 2 toilets we have by our lobby (which is also right in front of a motion capture camera, important later).

I was doing my business at the time and scrolling on my phone, I had a very loud and fast knocking on the cubicle door. It would have scared the crap out of me if I wasn’t already taking care of that situation.

“Occupied.” I stated in a confused tone.

The fast hard knocking happened again, with a slight jiggle of the handle.

“Only room for one I’m sorry” I said with a slight sternness and raised my voice because I was slowly but surely getting irritated with the knockings.

At this point I was agitated more than anything, because for the last 2 hours I have had no human interaction. Then as soon as I’m on the toilet I get company? Come on man, choose a better timing.

I leave the cubicle and no one is there. I check the other cubicles which is right next to the one I was in. The door was propped slightly so I could see it was not being used. I was beyond confused.

To stifle my own curiosity I pulled up the camera to see who was pounding on door, and why they couldn’t use the other one.

I saw 2 recent events… 1 event was me entering the toilet… the 2nd event was me leaving the toilet. Nothing else activated the motion ACTIVATED camera. It was at this point I was severely spooked.

My love language is acts of service. I’m the type of person to buy my boyfriend something when I think of him and get excited whenever I give it to him.

I always offer him food when he’s over at my house, always made sure he was comfortable (food, drinks, whatever he needs etc.) I always offer him food whenever im eating or have food no matter how big or small.

I do it because one, Its common courtesy and good manners and two, because I’m happy when he’s taken care of. I invited him to family dinners at restaurants and he didn’t have to pay for anything.

I go as far as offering and feeding him in the car while he’s driving and has his hands full because I feel bad that I’m eating next to him and he’s not able to because his hands are on the wheel.

Recently when I saw him i bought him waffles and starbucks without him even having to ask.

The problem is, he’s the exact opposite. And despite me voicing out my concerns and having arguments about it, things didn’t really change much.

He would eat beside me or in front of me and not offer me anything. We would go inside a store and he would only get something for himself and pay for them but rarely offers to get me anything or pay for mine even though its something as small as a chocolate bar.

I always pay or offer to pay for my own things which I don’t mind because I’m independent and I don’t mind doing it for myself.

It happens very often though and i lately find myself feeling like I’m single in terms of not having someone who looks out for me.

When we first started dating, I’d go hours at his house without being offered anything. After I voiced these things in an argument, he has paid or given me food sometimes but its very inconsistent and hasn’t done that lately.

He would ask me one day if i wanted something and the next day he’d eat and not offer (that type of inconsistency).

We’d be driving in the car and I would tell him I’m starving, he’d brush it off and forget about it and continue driving (i hate having to ask. i used to have poor boundaries)

Another time, we went for a drive and I literally told him I was starving and was feeling pain in my stomach and needed to stop for food asap and he said sure but continued driving more.

Had I not make a big deal out of it, he wouldn’t have gotten out and stopped by a restaurant. I was so dehydrated my pee was dark orange and smelled strongly of ammonia (it was that bad).

We had an argument about it and he was still coming up with lame excuses but promises to change.

Fast forward to months later, today, in the car, he started eating his food beside me and didn’t offer me anything yet again so when i got mad he said he didn’t know what was wrong and that he got me something but was waiting for me to finish what i was doing

(sure you got me food, but i didn’t even know about it because you didn’t tell me. How are you gonna start eating on your own and not think to include me? Not even a “hey i got us food lets eat together”!!)

He said he was waiting for me to finish what i was doing and that he wasn’t really eating, he was just checking to see if it was still too hot to eat (uh, what?)

His excuses: “I didnt know”, “you didn’t speak up”, “i wasnt sure where you wanted to eat,” “you always say no when i offer” (yet he offers food he knows i dont eat). All BS obviously. Honestly I could go on and on.

I grew up in a generous and caring household so this isnt something im used to nor I can ever get used to. Don’t even get me started on how i found out he had contact with his ex via phone and gave her money.

So I left him. Taking myself to a nice treat because how tf did I tolerate that. Why the hell did i give so much care and received so less?