The noise pollution first started in October 2022, and it has persisted ever since.

It is unclear to me if the concerned unit just moved in recently, as I live on the opposite block.

It seems to me that the family has a mentally ill child (maybe ADHD or autism) who kept hitting the metal grill gate for an obscene period of time, be it day or night.

As you know, the sound of the metal gate has a relatively high frequency, and thus, the noise could be clearly heard from a far distance.

In November 2022, the boy could be heard screaming non-stop throughout the entire night (well past midnight).

In addition, the family has a habit of not closing their door past midnight, which would only make the persistent noise pollution worse.

On numerous occasions, the mom could be seen as losing control over her emotions because she too started shouting loudly and randomly in the corridor.

I have asked a few neighbors who live on the same block as me if they can also hear the noise, and they can, but they have seemingly resigned their fate to the situation despite being mentally and emotionally “tortured” by the generated loud noise.

The general consensus I gather from those neighbors whom I spoke to is that “HDB is like that one” or “I want to stay out of unnecessary trouble,” etc.

This speaks volumes about Singapore society’s behavior as a whole: we complain, but we don’t even take any action.

I have raised the issue on two occasions with the HDB (with photos and video recordings), but the problem persists.

Instead, HDB gave me the same standard template answer not once but twice, which reads: “When going about our daily routines, some activities will generate noise, and some of that noise can affect others, especially when we are living in close proximity with each other. For this reason, we urge everyone to be more considerate and to reduce noise that may impact our neighbors’ enjoyment of their homes, as well as to be more tolerant and patient with noise from the community.”

Yes, the situation has “improved considerably” now, and this statement is written in an ironic tone.

Now, the boy has grown “smarter” by hitting the metal gate for a couple of seconds, then hiding inside the house, coming out again, and repeating the same action continuously in the daytime.

Now, the boy would hit the interior cupboards at night instead of the front door’s metal gate to avoid detection and camera recording by the neighbors.

Or, if the boy wants to continue his hobby of generating noise pollution at night, his family will switch off the light on his behalf.

The family is doing this to ensure that it becomes difficult for his neighbors to capture video footage of their boy’s “masterpiece.”

I had written an email to my MP, but she didn’t reply.

How about the grass-roots leaders?

Well, two of them live next to my unit—a husband and wife. It is sufficient to say that the couple created such a huge volume of noise pollution themselves too.

If I could already hear the noise from the opposite block, it is not difficult to imagine how torturous the experience might have been for the concerned household’s immediate neighbors.

On numerous occasions, it could be observed that the parents made no effort to rein in their suspected mentally ill child.

By the way, I am working from home, and the noise pollution is already affecting my daily routines and work performances.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Soooo, it’s my third-year of medical school and my first actual year of clinical exposure (where we get to the hospitals and stuff; there’s three years of clinical rotations here in NUS before we can gradute from medical school). And I’m feeling really stressed. Not just because the final exams are coming soon (just over a month later in the first week of May), but also because I find that with so much time spent on studying, there’s not much left for things like exercise, my previous hobbies like netball, and dating. So sick and tired of medicine.

Don’t wanna use dating apps because of the stigma. It’s a last-resort as I have heard horror stories from that. Pretty sure I can meet guys irl first?

Currently single (for 2+ years) ever since I broke up with my first bf from JC, and keen on dating. What do you all think of the idea of dating a batchmate from my cohort? I feel like with dating a batchmate, since we’d have a lot in common and we can probably relate a lot to each other. But I don’t know anyone else apart from my CG (clinical group).

I have a secret fantasy about dating an older guy too, so, hmm… I imagine that most of the guys in my batch are my age cos of army disruption, but I think that there should be a few who had completed NS first. There’re also some who transferred in right?

Too bad I’m not chio la. Just a 5/10 (prob 6.5/10 with good makeup) plain Jane, and never had a guy confess enthusiastically to me before. If only there were a way for me to meet more my batchmates… I secretly want a cute oppa batchmate to confess to me hehehehe

Here are what netizens think:

• Go and STUDY! Don’t WASTE your TIME trying to go dating. We need clever & dedicated doctors. Finish housemanship first then think of dating.

• You have so much time ahead of you. If you have no time for social life now how to have time to build a relationship now.

• Graduate first. After you enter work society. Lotsa chance to date

As a guy, if im going out with a girl with good assets or her daddy with connections in high places, then i will offer to take the bill, cuz I need to demonstrate that I’m sincere.

However if im going out with an average looking girl or a girl with no family background, then i will prefer her to split the bill. Coz I can always find a replacement.

I’m cognizant of the fact that the world is competitive and I need to take advantage of anything available in my vicinity. It is important for me to maximise my gains.

Gotta have that grinset. I’m not being materialistic, I’m just being practical.

Here are what netizens think:

• Sounds just like my friend Mr Goh

• The world have enough of this sick nonsensical thoughts. Plant some positive inspirations please

• I think u stay single better la  all these “girls” are someone else’s daughter, sister…not a commodity to be evaluated like that. U should treat all with the same with sincerity ma. How can like that. Remember : what goes around comes around….

• So you ask a girl what her father and mother do before you go out with her?

• Ensure you have the competency to go higher…if not, you will feel stress and eventually lead an unhappy life.

• Hope his thinking fit into the women thinking otherwise he will end up with no dates.

• As a parent I’ll always teach my kids to be gentlemen and gracious ladies not show hands during dates.

• What makes you think that good lookers with family background or money would look at you in the first place when they can have the world at their feet

• Stay single better, more practical . If u ever think like that the gal with background will also choose your background.

my (21m) gf (20f) just broke up with me last thursday, without saying a word. she just ghosted me, blocked me on whatsapp, telegram, and even my phone number when i tried to call her.

we had been together for 9 months. she was my very first gf, while she previously had 2 exes (recent one being 30yo), and 2 fwbs (recent one being 40yo) which came as a shock to me when i found out later, but i just chose to ignore her past.

things were going well for us the first few months, going on fun dates, texting until 4am everyday.. at that time, it really felt like she was a genuinely nice person, who was easy-going and fun to be with.

the 2 of us came from vastly different family backgrounds, with me being more well-off while her having to rent a room to live in with her divorced stepmother.

knowing this, i offered for her to move in with me in my room at my house for 3 months, as it would more conducive for her studies, which my parents agreed to.

the first few weeks of living together was fun, spending time and cuddling together everyday. i gave her all the love she needed, dry her hair, bathe her everyday, and even wash her bra and underwear together with her every week. other than these chores, i even helped her edit her assignments and reports for school.

over time, this became a norm, and she started taking these for granted, getting annoyed when i do not have the time to do those stuffs for her due to my own schoolwork piling up. i had no choice but to sacrifice some work and sleep just to do these for her. but it really felt like there was no appreciation for what i did.

as more weeks went by, more red flags started surfacing. she would complain to me when my parents cooks meal that she doesn’t like, or get annoyed at me for not spending enough time with her when i have got assignments to complete, and many other small things which made me see her true self.

but even with all these, i chose to forgive and forget, hoping that she will become a better version of herself one day, hoping that this could really be a long-lasting relationship.

unfortunately, i was wrong. recently, we started to drift apart, texting less, hanging out less. despite all this, i still helped her edit her personal statements in her uni applications, hoping that i can make a difference in her future, or even OUR future.

less than a week after i finished editing her final application for her, she blocked me off completely without a goodbye. i tried to meet her at her home, but she just avoided me completely.

3 days ago, i went to her workplace, hoping for a proper talk to find some closure. i saw her with another guy. she had cheated on me, after all we have been through together for the past 9 months, without even a proper goodbye. that was my last time seeing her.

my first rs was such a shitty one. living together with someone can really help you see their true colours. i regret staying in this rs for so long, even after seeing all the red flags, genuinely hoping that some day she will change.

but i guess, some people never change. some people will never be grateful for what they have, until it’s gone.

knowing that i really tried my best in providing everything for her, this breakup has hurt me so much that im not sure whether i would be capable of loving anyone else the same. i dont think i will ever be able to get over this completely. i feel used and thrown away like i meant nothing. whereever i go, our memories together would keep coming back.

what i learnt from this is: LEAVE before you get pulled even further into a hopeless rs. staying longer would just make it even more painful when it eventually ends..

all those reasonably attractive female commenters that say “oh im not materialistic” , “oh i dont mind going on dutch” , “character matters most”, “i dont need a condo” etc

Trust me they wont go out or marry a guy that is earning less than 4k.

This is because Even when they say want to stay in hdb, they want a big enough hdb and good location enough hdb which once again cost >600k . In addition, They still expect to be wined and dined, and with yearly regional trips and occasional staycations and gifts/flowers etc.

However you still have play the game. The reason is while you earn 4k, you also need their 4k

Ultimately society is quite realistic. While money cannot do everything, but without money you cant do anything.

Here are what netizens think:

• You kpkb so much for what. Then keep dating someone who would accept you. There’s a lid for every pot. Say you’re rated at 5 or 6 by others but you think you’re 7 and you aim to date girls who are a 8. These girls will also choose to date someone who they think is on par or upwards mah. No meh.

• Everyone has market. Just some have more to sell than others. End of day, like with marketing and sales, everyone should be a little more self aware and promote yourself to the right audience. Sometimes it’s not the “product” isn’t good, but the audience targeting is poor or you don’t clearly understand how to present what you have to offer. In some cases, some people don’t even know what’s truly special about themselves. In the case of the latter, better to do self discovery than to search for another half.

• I have take home income of about $4k, and there is barely any disposable income left after expenses.

• Thats why have to choose carefully. Even less than 4k, u can have a life that u n ur partner wanted. For women who says like that, they just wants u to support their lifestyle while they can spend more with their own . Win win for them while u rest in peace. Find someone who knows what hardship means and who will be there for u when u are at ur lowest and same goes for u be there for her when she is at her lowest. That is the real support u both need. Moneywise everything can be planned together, give n take la. not take everything then when not happy one is earning less, go and ditch that person n find who earn more. That kind of happiness wont last and who knows in turn the person who earn more may treat u the same as the person u have ditched.

Why are ah bengs so classless and childish? Do you really need to be educated to be a decent human being?

Earlier this week, my friend and I passed a traffic accident. A van and pick up collided. The pick up flipped.

The pick up was unoccupied when we passed. We were naturally curious. We looked on.

A bunch of ah bengs, well in their 40s started making unnecessary remarks at the situation. They started to mutter things like “wah see the head roll out the car”, “hands and legs fly everywhere sia!”, “someone die leh and blood everywhere you see a not.” One started, and the rest followed. There was nothing of that sort (not that I wanted to see it, and am slightly hopeful for the person(s) involved).

Gawd. They are so old and yet they are still behaving like a bunch of jackasses undergoing puberty. How is it sensible of them to be making such senseless remarks when some person(s) have experienced a near death experience?

Here are what netizens think:

• If above 35 years of age, the proper term is Lao being

• I don’t get it. If head rolls out of the car, it’s usually not a “near” death experience.

• sorry hoh, ah bengs got nothing to do with age or education, these are just ‘jiao gae’ ah pei. There are also Ah Bengs in NUS so many of them.

• Dun eavesdrop lah. U see.. listen liao become dulan. Become dulan, post on FB. Post on FB, read comment become dulan again. Its a forever dulan cycle. So just go along your way and you will find peace.

• Sounds like the things we all did when we were young.

• Not ah beng la. Its ah pek

For the past few months I feel that my bf doesnt prioritise me as much compared to before and has been putting less effort .. its like back then it was lvl 10 of effort and now lvl 3.

I also recently started noticing that hes becoming a mummy boy. We recently went overseas together and hes been giving live updates to her 24/7 and when I called him out for not posting me on his ig anymore like he used to, he told me he wanna enjoy the moment with me but at the same time hes busy texting his mom the entire time instead.

We also got into an argument bc he was going to his relative’s house and he said he will leave my place at 6pm, he then received a call from his mom and her telling him that shes otw to the location and he immediately ditched me two hours earlier than the agreed timing. He then blamed me for being selfish and taking away his family time when all i needed was to find out why the sudden change in attitude bc at the start of the rs, he would do whatever to maximise and spend more time with me knowing that both our love language is quality time.

Im more upset at the fact that i got baited than anything else? If only he didnt treat me like that from the beginning maybe i wouldnt have this high standards from him and when I told him how I felt hurt and neglected lately, he got furious and said how I dont appreciate his efforts anymore and hes loyal? As if being loyalty isnt the bare minimum

Here are what netizens think:

• Honey moon period over. This is the guy. See if you want to have a peaceful conversation on this with him.

• Are you sure that’s his mum or he’s just lying about how he spent his time? Cus if he uses mum as an excuse surely you got nothing to say to stop him. Level 10 to level 3 means you lost your value liao. You probably have been too available for him. Guys lose interest easily this way.

• Welcome to the reality of dating 90% of local men. If they’re not still attached to their mom, it’s because you have become their mom. And when you start refusing to be their mom, they’ll run crying back to their mom.

• you’ve dated 9 out of 10 men or 90 out of 100 men to arrive at that “conclusion”? Because statistically, only the first one might be possible.

• What kind of mummy ah? If she is the kind to give all kinds of sweetness, you no horse run liao.

Response to office politics fail

Hello. I am a manager in a sales line. Yes, I am in property/insurance.

As a manager, this is my opinion, your sales director likes you.

Sales require guts and you probably impressed him when you took up his challenge, despite losing. No cowardly person will dare to do so. He paid extra attention to you after the challenge, that says loads. He probably doesn’t care about the rest of your colleagues. Those cookie cutter, keep their heads down, scared of offending ppl colleagues. Those ppl won’t go far in sales.

Learn from him, debate with him and argue with him. I truly believe your sales will improve if you can put your ego down and work with your director.

If you can’t, don’t need to quit. Stay at your current company. But comment your sales director name or fb page. I will contact him. As a typical manager, I’m always recruiting.

Here are what netizens think:

• Not as easy as one might think

•  I have been in sales for many years and I must say it is not an easy job. Sales can be incredibly demanding and requires a lot of hard work, dedication, and communication. It often involves long hours of prospecting, cold-calling, and follow-up to build relationships and close deals. 

• It can be difficult to stay motivated and maintain a positive attitude throughout the day. Additionally, there is a lot of stress that comes with the job as success is often measured by the number of leads converted and deals closed. It is not always easy to stay focused, especially when the process takes time and results are slow to come. You must be prepared to face rejection and failure on a regular basis. All in all, sales jobs can be very difficult due to the high pressure and need for results.

My boyfriend really wants to take my virginity but I’m not a virgin, what should I do?

I started dating my boyfriend last April and graduated from university last year. My boyfriend, who I met through mutual friends did not attend university. He is not a virgin (but he only slept with his ex girlfriend).

When we first met he told me it was important to him that he date “a good girl”. Lately he has been making comments to me about taking my virginity which have been increasing in frequency and intensity, how he will “teach me a lot of things” “show me how good he can be” and more graphic stuff that I’d rather not repeat.

At this point I think he gets off on the idea, however, I am not a virgin.

I participated in hookup culture while at university and slept fairly often with men I met at bars/nightclubs or on tinder for nearly four years. Basically if you’re good looking and interested in me, my legs will open for you.

I am almost a different person from who I was at university. I am much more soft-spoken and I dress more conservatively and no longer drink or smoke anymore. Which I believe has led to my boyfriend having this perception of me.

What do I do? Should I let him continue to think I’m a virgin or tell him the truth and potentially ruin our relationship?

I feel like I should note that while find his comments cringy they don’t really bother me. And aside from this thing he’s great.

Netizens’ comments

1. Where does he get the idea that you’re a virgin from? And why have you not told him you’re not one the first time he brought it up?
2. You’ve been for almost a year and this has never come up before?
3. As you don’t find his comments bothering, then tell him the truth.
   If it ends the relationship, then you were obviously wrong about him and he was/is the creep that he sounds like.
4. I expect the relationship to end the moment she says she’s not a virgin. He’s got a hangup about “her virginity” and when he finds out she’s had more partners than him? He’s going to call her all kinds of degrading names and break up.
5. One of the key points that I think you are missing here is that IF you decide to sleep with him, the moment you are no longer a ‘virgin’ in his eyes, you have been devalued.
   I don’t know how comfortable you are with the idea of him obsessing over you because of your virginity, but on the surface this really sounds like a relationship that is doomed to failure.