He is her boss, and she got promoted at work. So he bought her a Nintendo Switch. He is in his early 30s, she is younger.

I asked if any other colleagues are sharing, he ignored my question. I asked again, then he got annoyed and blurted another name. Obviously lying, or 1, he won’t get annoyed, 2, I don’t have to repeat my question, 3, he would have said right from the start that a colleague and him will be buying the Switch for the girl.

He often treats his team to dinner, buys them snacks and pastries. (Not sure how true is that, or is it just 1 person or the entire team. I usually don’t ask much, until he bought the Switch.)

He always texts his colleagues even late at night every single day. I didn’t check his phone but briefly saw the names when I walk past, and assumed it’s about work stuff. Not sure if it is normal to be THIS close to your colleagues. I usually avoid mine after working hours unless it’s urgent.

At my workplace, we usually just buy lunch or dinner to celebrate the promotion. Told my colleague and she said that he is so nice and generous to his team, nothing to worry about.

Here are what netizens think:

• Out of his own pocket? Unless he’s at some higher level six figure job that’s a major red flag. Hell even if he is the fact he wouldn’t just answer your question is a red flag.

• It really depends on the industry and ofc your salary. In my workplace, gifts to colleagues worth $1000 are uncommon but not unheard of, especially if its middle management or upwards. A director once bought everyone in the office the latest iPhone because his horse won some sort of trophy.

• Yeah my moms an executive and gets Louis Vuitton gifts for Christmas from her employees. I got tickets to my favorite band which was $150. I think a nintendo switch if he’s a higher up isn’t crazy.

We’ve been together for 6 months and my boyfriend is great in every other way but the same problem keeps popping up in our relationship…. Tinder.

I’ve found out he was on Tinder multiple times and afterwards, he apologizes and will delete the app from his phone but for some reason, after a couple of days he ends up redownloading the app again. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me so this behaviour is very confusing.

Part of me thinks he just wants external validation that he’s wanted by other women besides me while another part wonders if he has a cheating fetish or something. I don’t know what to do in this situation anymore and I can’t understand why he can’t stop himself.

Any insight on his behaviour or advice would be welcome. We love each other and want to be together so I’m trying to figure out why he keeps doing this?

This has been going on for 6 months.

Here are what netizens think:

• Talk is cheap. Your boyfriend’s words and actions are inconsistent (red flag #1). Your boyfriend apologies when he gets caught (#2): It’s clear he’s not actually remorseful, he just feels bad about getting caught. Your boyfriend repeatedly downloads Tinder despite promising not to (#3).

• Three strikes, he’s out! His actions are disrespectful and his words are just meant to stop you from breaking up with him. You deserve way better, dump this dude and take yourself on a nice date.

• 6 months? Babe he doesn’t like you. When it comes to a fundamental problem in relationships, you speak about it once. If it doesn’t change, leave. Because then you’re just nagging him. Leave him now while you have nothing to lose.

• He is active on tinder. Gets caught. He says sorry. You stick around. He downloads tinder again. Gets caught again. Says he’s sorry again. You stick around again. He downloads tinder again. Gets caught again. Says he’s sorry again. You stick around again. Do you see the pattern there? Where’s the consequence for him? He’s doing it because you’re accepting it.

So my birth giver has come to the conclusion that she no longer wants to attend my wedding due to the fact that she has come to discover my tattoos.

She went into the fact saying that due to me not respecting her decisions or caring about her feelings or whatever that she is not going attend.

Heres the thing, idk if the tattoo set her off or the fact that I was not going to be married in a church or what but I mean..to not attend your kids wedding then go and say that I have never put her feelings first is like…WTF?

Yall please tell me if im being wrong or not.

Oh! This past week we went dress shopping and that is how she discovered my tattoo.

I am going to return all the shit she chose because me being who I am, I just let her pick out dresses and jewelry and whatever but now in light of all this BS I am just going to return all the things she chose and go with the black dress that i have wanted to wear to my wedding.

Am i the one that is being unreasonable or is she? Idk help a woman out

Netizens’ comments

• Your life just got simplified. Go with the black dress and accept your moms decision. Now you don’t have to discuss your wedding with her, because she’s not involved. Joy!

• You are 100% right. If she doesn’t respect your autonomy then she can go fly her broomstick elsewhere. Stick to your gut instinct about what you want for your wedding.

Might seem like not a huge deal but, Here’s some context.

I have been with my boyfriend 32y.o, for few months. Unlike him, I come from a well off background and last week I invited him out on an upscale restaurant for a dinner together.

We got there, sat down at our table and chatted for some time. He ordered some orange juice then asked the waitress to bring him 2 more straws besides the one he had with his juice. I was puzzled I asked if he was expecting one of his friends and he laughed and said “ohhh no…not after what they did to me last night” I was like ???? but watched to see what he was doing.

The waitress came back with the 2 straws then took our orders. The minute she walked away my boyfriend put the other 2 straws in his juice and basically started sipping with the 3 straws making an unbelievably absurd and annoying sound. I was floored I asked what he was doing and why. He nonchalantly smug smiled and said so he could drink faster.

I got mad and quite embarrassed cause people were literally side-eyeing me since I’m a regular. I told him to stop but he didn’t. I said that I’d leave if he wouldn’t and he made eye contact and kept sipping. I had it, I said I wasn’t going to continue to be humiliated any longer and grabbed my stuff and made my way out. He shouted for me to wait but I didn’t.

30 minutes later, he started rage texting me about how I overreacted and how I keep ruining good times worrying about what those “snobs” think.

Then talked about how ridiculous I was to walk out like that and repeatedly texted about how I should stop being a pretenious snob just because I hang around them which I found really really offensive. He ecpected me to apologize for “making a scene” and walking out like that over something so stupid and harmless.

A married touchy restaurant manager

I would like to share this encounter that i had with a restaurant manager. I worked there as a part time waitress. He is touchy towards all the girls part timers. My friend who used to work there before got touched and grabbed on her waist every time when she is on her shift. She do not dare to say him because she is afraid to get into unpleasant encouter with him so she quit after about 6 shifts.

The encounters that i had with him is he likes to grab onto my waist in a way that we are like close friends and i moved away after he did that a few times to me. The first two times i thought maybe he just wanted to ask me a question and he will lean forward and then touch my waist so i close one eye and didn shout out. After seeing him also touch the other girl colleague waist and also i foresee he will do it again, I placed my hands behind my back after i realise this actions is really unappropriate.

I felt uncomfortable and spoke to the management about it and they say that they will inform him but i dont think the management tell him because they are good friends and he is still continuing this actions till date. Tell me what should i do?

I dont tink quitting this part time job is a solution. But i think he need to know and apologise for his actions but yet noone or myself dare to tell him upfront.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you don’t dare for yourself then how do you expect anything to change? Be fearless and stop putting up with this behaviour. Speak up and tell him you do not like being touched and set the boundary. All of you need to stand together. All of you need to complain to management. They won’t be happy if everyone threatens to quit at the same time or say you will make a police report. Otherwise when you know he is near, carry some hot water in a glass and if he grabs you, pretend to be shocked and “accidentally” throw the hot water at him as if you are startled. Stop letting him get away with this behaviour.

• It’s 2023. We have invented phones with camera, internet and metoo movement. Just take video and post online lah. You will win 1000% over him.

• It’s the 21st century. Can always shout aloud, “Do NOT touch me!” whenever he do that to embarrass him. He’ll probably stop after that. The problem here is the people who are enabling his actions to continue.

• The best apology is to discontinue his current behaviour. If his words and actions don’t match, then there’s no point in apologising.

New job concern

Hi all,

I recently got hired after 10 months of job hunting. The company wanted me within days after the interview but their passive boarding process really makes me feel as though they don’t take it seriously.

I practically need to ask or remind the personnel several times what to do before they actually does it. Although I do understand they are a small company so things tend to be slow due to the limited manpower.

So I managed to complete the admin works and needed to find out whom to report to on my first day a week from now. They say the one I’m reporting to may not be in and they need to find out who will be around again.

I am like is this company eager to hire or am I over reacting, should I really take a leap of faith and have a go orback out as I only agree to the job offer verbally?

Do advise as I am really worried this maybe like a job scam kind of shorts but the thought of continuous being jobless is also putting a mental stress on me.

Here are what netizens think:

• If you don’t have anything else then why not just stick around and see what happens but continue to apply for other jobs….as long as you are not tied to some unreasonable contract you can’t get quickly out of.

• Company may be small, but are they reputable? What can you gather about the company from Google, their website (if available) and other platforms such as LinkedIn and Glassdoor? I will probably give it a go if I were in your shoe if they seem legit enough. I received an offer from a MNC few years ago. A very well-known consumer brand. The HR personnel was able to share the staff benefits that they had pretty readily (probably because these are standard) but the salary that they would like to offer… I probably waited a month before they finalized it. And I had accepted another offer by then. Another time with another not-small firm, my commencement date was delayed… Could not recall why exactly by now, but it was also an administrative issue. Maybe they could not complete my Letter of Appointment in time as signatory was not around. So, yeah… Now you know.