Growing up, my family was always poor and struggling to make ends meet. It was a difficult upbringing as I watched my parents live paycheck to paycheck, struggling to put food on the table for us.

My father would always go to the casino to try his luck, while my mum was just obsessed with 4D and Mahjong

The cause of our financial struggles was my parent’s addiction to gambling. My father would go to the casino every weekend, spending all his hard-earned money on games of chance while my mother would play mahjong and buy 4D like is free.

I remember being embarrassed when my parents had to go to the casino or have people over to play mahjong or vice versa. I was ashamed of the stigma that came with being a family of gamblers.

I was also terrified of what would happen if my parents ever ran out of money. I was scared that we would never be able to afford basic necessities such as food and shelter.

I also remember the arguments between my parents when they would come home from their gambling sessions. My father would be angry that he lost all his money while my mother would get upset also because she was not lucky in her mahjong sessions or her 4d miss a number or two.

This created an atmosphere of tension and mistrust in our home.

The stress of our financial situation was also weighing heavily on me. I had to take on part-time jobs to help my family make ends meet. I had to forgo some of my childhood pleasures such as going to the movies or out with friends. I often felt resentful of my parents for putting me in this position.

However, despite all the hardships, I still tried to be understanding of my parent’s addiction. I knew that they were in pain and that they were trying their best to provide for us. I also knew that they were not bad people and that they were just trying to escape their troubles.

My parents eventually got help and stopped their gambling habits. We slowly started to rebuild our lives and I was able to stop working part-time jobs.

I am now an adult and I understand the consequences of gambling.

My friends had always called me a player. I went through relationships like socks, never really taking them seriously. That was until I met my new girlfriend.

We met at a party and it was love at first sight. We talked all night and she seemed to really get me. She was everything I had ever wanted in a woman.

The relationship progressed really quickly and before I knew it, we were having S. It was the first time I had ever truly been intimate with someone and I was sure that I had found the one.

But then, something happened. As we were having S, I noticed that her nipples were dangling like tube lights. I had never seen anything like it before and it freaked me out.

I immediately stopped and just stared at her in disbelief. She seemed embarrassed and tried to cover herself up but I couldn’t look away. I just felt disgusted and embarrassed.

I couldn’t believe that I had allowed myself to get so close to someone who had such an odd physical feature. I felt betrayed and like I had been tricked into having S with someone who was not who I thought she was.

I couldn’t take it anymore and I quickly got dressed and left. I didn’t even say goodbye. I just couldn’t bear to look at her.

I haven’t spoken to my ex-girlfriend since that night. I just couldn’t face her.

The memory of her dangling nipples still haunts me to this day and I can’t seem to get it out of my head.

It’s been a few months since we broke up and I’m still trying to process what happened. It’s been hard for me to trust anyone since then and I’m still not sure if I’ll ever be able to have a successful relationship.

I know that it was wrong of me to break up with her over something so silly as her nipples dangling like tube lights. But at the time, it was all too much for me to handle. I just couldn’t handle the weirdness of it all.

Breaking up with my ex-girlfriend was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. But I just knew that it was for the best. I’m still trying to move on, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to completely forget about her dangling nipples.

I was feeling really depressed, and I was at a crossroads. I had recently been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection (STI) called Bacterial Vaginosis (BV).

I was devastated, and couldn’t believe this had happened to me. I had been in a monogamous relationship for six months, and I had trusted my partner implicitly. As I tried to process my diagnosis, I started to suspect that my partner may have been unfaithful. I started to ask myself,

“Where did he go and who did he see?”

The first thing I did was confront my partner. He denied all allegations of cheating, but I wasn’t convinced. I decided to do some digging to find out the truth. I started by looking into his social media activity, and noticed that he had been messaging his friends about going to Geylang.

I could not believe what I was seeing. He had been going to Geylang to find women, and he had been doing it every weekend. I was so angry and hurt that I confronted him again. This time, he admitted that he had been seeing other women, and that he had not been faithful.

I was devastated by my partner’s betrayal, and it took me a long time to process. I eventually decided to move on, but I was determined to find out why he had gone to Geylang in the first place. After some investigations, I discovered that he went Geylang looking for prostitutes. It is also a hot spot for STIs, as many of the women in the area have multiple S partners.

I was shocked to learn that my partner had been engaging in such risky behavior, and I felt betrayed. I had trusted him and thought that our relationship was exclusive, but he had been going to Geylang and indulging in unprotected S with strangers.

It was then that I realized that he was the one who had infected me with BV.

I was angry and hurt, but I also felt a sense of closure. I had finally gotten to the bottom of what had happened, and it helped me put the pieces together. I now knew that my partner had been unfaithful, and had exposed me to an STI.

I’ve hired hundreds of engineers and had many years of success hiring away from Citadel, Google, Facebook, Stripe, Jump, Jane Street, to name a few.

I feel the last 3 months have been the best hiring market for startups in the past ten years.

And the pay also remains amazing for employees. (Not to mention, it’s especially stupid to be picky on jobs when you’re fresh out of college. At this stage, investing in yourself, and acquiring work skills, has a faster ROI than any other way to gain income.) In my day, my classmates who were IMO medalists and had internships at KCG/Uber/Google would at best get US$150k out of college. Today, the same would land US$500k out of college, far better than pre-2020 after demeaning average wage growth across other industries and adjusting for inflation.

As for startup hiring advice, I don’t recommend combing layoff lists. Never had success with one. Large companies are extremely good at trimming operational excess. And they know their employees better than you. So you’ll experience a lot of adverse selection even if you got a reply.

Roughly in descending order, here’s 7 things that I find are most effective in improving your hiring chances:

1. Press coverage.

2. Fundraising momentum, e.g. big name VC.

3. High throughput.

4. “Glamor” posts about the job on your company social media.

5. A nice website or product.

6. Other teammates with good pedigree.

7. Open source.

8. On-campus talks.

You can’t immediately control (2). (5) is a chicken-and-egg problem, since you need good hires to build a good product. ( is difficult outside of the US.

For (1), it’s hard to get media interest in your product and expensive to pay a PR company to astroturf on your behalf. We’ve found a cheap strategy is to do press releases, e.g. joint press releases with your partners or vendors. You get picked up by a few large journals, your company’s CB rank goes up, you get spotted by others who trawl for new companies, including VCs and journalists; this creates a ladder of better press coverage over time. As a side benefit, it boosts your SEO.

Regarding (3), if you’re finding it hard to hire, it often means you need even more throughput. More sourcing; more job posts; more interviews; faster pipeline etc. A well-organized ATS helps (I like Greenhouse, but Lever is OK too). Even during seed stage, we had about >10^4 applicants per year, made offers to <0.3% of them, and had an offer acceptance rate over 85%. I had it harder at my first startup: our 2nd and 3rd hires took 50+ and 300+ interviews respectively. My cofounders and I took all of those calls in the span of 2 months.

If your offer acceptance rate is too low, it’s a signal that you should pay more. It’s even more expensive to have your hiring team’s time to be interviewing candidates for nothing gained.

Regarding (4), it’s easy to copy others who’re good at this. Market making firms are extremely good at doing this, even better than MANGA firms, because they are more dependent on talent than quantity. I say HRT is the golden standard for this. (Don’t be mistaken — on the surface, Stripe has a more successful social media strategy and more subscribers, but they’re mostly targeting their customers, whereas HRT’s audience is almost 100% their candidate pool.)

(6) is trivially obvious, but I’m surprised so many companies don’t care. There’s a positive feedback loop when you hire people from top firms and universities: it attracts others. It’s worth halving your target headcount just to afford these.

Regarding (7), I always make it an effort to email authors and maintainers for work that I appreciate, and offer to buy them coffee if they ever drop by my city. You’ll be surprised how many US$750k+ comp engineers will reciprocate interest in your work. Besides this, several of my teammates and I have contributed to the high visibility projects — Linux kernel, LLVM, Cmake, Rust, Intel DAOS, Ceph, Cumulus etc. — which I find helps with recruiting.

(6) and (7) work in tandem. Good candidates do homework on their interviewer. It’s important that you have a few interviewers who are there to impress the candidates early on in the interview pipeline. You get a good read when a candidate is star-struck by their interviewer and speaks with a deferential tone. If you don’t feel that way, it means you need to improve your interviewers’ own public image.

I wouldn’t consider myself materialistic, but I love nice things.

I’m also a single, independent woman who can take care of myself, but I’m not above taking a little help from a man if it means I can get my hands on my dream item. So, when I found out about the concept of sugar dating, I was intrigued.

For those who don’t know, sugar dating is a type of relationship where a person, typically an older and wealthier man, provides a younger woman with gifts and money in exchange for companionship. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, and one that I thought I could benefit from.

So, I decided to give it a try. I joined a sugar daddy dating website and created a profile. I made sure to be honest about what I was looking for. I was upfront about wanting to date someone with money who could help me achieve my goals, specifically buying a Hermes bag.

I was surprised at how many responses I got. Within a few days, I had messages from multiple men who were interested in getting to know me better. After some back and forth, I settled on a man I felt comfortable talking to. We set up a date and I was excited to see what he had to offer.

The date went really well and we talked for hours. We discussed our interests and hobbies, and he asked me what my dream item was. When I told him it was a Hermes bag, he smiled and said he would be willing to help me get it. We agreed to a mutually beneficial arrangement: he would provide me with generous gifts and money, and in exchange, I would provide him with companionship and friendship.

It was the perfect arrangement for me. I had a wonderful time with this man and he was always generous with his gifts. Within a few months, I was able to purchase my dream Hermes bag and I felt incredibly proud.

I’m still in contact with this man and we continue to have a mutually beneficial relationship. It’s been a great experience for me and I’m so glad I decided to give sugar dating a try. I’m proof that it can work for anyone who is willing to give it a shot.

 I am the man with the waistline of three bus tyres. Yes, you heard that right, three bus tyres! I am 192cm and weigh about 200kg. I know what you’re thinking – I’m huge! And yes, I have to admit that I am a bit of a spectacle.

But despite my size, I proudly proclaim that I am a handsome playboy!

My friends and family have been calling me “Big Boy” or “Big Guy” since I was a kid. When I was growing up, I was always the biggest kid in the room. I was never ashamed of my size, though. I embraced it. I was confident in my own skin and I never let anyone’s opinions of me change that.

So, when I decided to become a playboy, I had no doubts that I could do it. After all, I had been confident in my own skin for so long that I knew I could be confident as a playboy too. Plus, I had the charm and charisma to back it up. I was sure that I could make it happen.

And I did. I am now a successful playboy. And I’m proud to say that I am the man with the waistline of three bus tyres! I don’t let my size hold me back from living life to the fullest. I’m still confident, charming, and I know how to have a good time.

So, how do I make it work as a playboy? I make sure that I’m always looking my best. Despite my weight I have my own style. I don’t let my size define who I am. Instead, I use it to my advantage. I’m confident and I know how to use my presence to my advantage.

And, of course, I’m not afraid to show off my curves. I’m proud of my body. I may not be the typical playboy, but I know that I’m attractive in my own way. And I’m not afraid to flaunt it.

I’m also not afraid to take risks. I’m not afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. I’m not afraid to talk to new people and make new connections. I’m confident in my own skin and I’m not afraid to show it to the world.

What does it mean when he says he’s ok if I date someone else, but he will feel a bit sian?

We’ve been dating for 6 months plus, our interactions and dates have been very fun and enjoyable. We always manage to talk through our disagreements in a cordial, calm, level-headed manner.

Bedroom play is fantastic and out-of-this-world too. We have a lot of chemistry in that area.

But he says he’s unsure and also worried that he will hurt me. And he says he don’t want to be possessive too. Someone told me that if the guy really loves you, he wouldn’t want you to date another person.

What are your thoughts and perspectives? Should I move on and focus my energy and time on another potential?

Here are what netizens think:

• Why do u date someone for 6 months and sleep together without being officially attached?  Who buys the cow if he’s getting milk for free? He’s trying to make an exit now, but saying these things to give you some “face”, so that u can choose to leave first. If someone tells you he’s unsure, 100% you should tell him back that you are even more unsure and just leave.

• Friend with benefits that’s what you are to him.

• Once he has bedded you it doesnt matter what you say or think. You have been played. Literally. Thats where the slang comes from. Unless he mentions of a possible future with you which he didn’t.

• It means he is annoyed that this restaurant he has been dining in for free is gonna be open to others. He would love for this restaurant to be for him only cos who doesn’t want exclusive free food? Lol. He is hoping his fishing skills will reel you back in to his sweet empty words. Also, his worry of hurting you is as real as GST going to 1%. Drop him la. He playing you for a fool.

• It means he’s not ready to be exclusive with you as his sole partner. He’s telling you to hang around in a situationship but he’s also acting a bit reluctant for dramatic effect to hold your heart in place. Players do that all the time. Learn to read the signals. No commitment means he is not averse to sticking his D into other girls as well. So right now at this point, the ball is in your court.

My advice to guys thinking of settling down and getting married – don’t! You will regret it.

I too once thought I found the love of my life. That we will live happily ever after. I was so in love all the advice I’ve heard before fell on deaf ears. Don’t repeat my mistakes!

Someone once told me that the biggest reason marriages fail is because women think that men will change after marriages but they don’t. Men think that women wouldn’t change, but they do.

And boy do they change… Within a few years, I can barely remember the woman I loved. And I’m not just talking appearance – it’s the personality changes that scare me. Even her family commented that she is so different.

The once caring, gentle girl who was the light of my life is now my nightmare. Everything I do or don’t do is wrong. Everything I say or don’t say is wrong. Every wrong step she will dig up things from ages ago and stack them up.

Other than the 3 kids we have and love dearly, we are worse than roommates. Every time I thought we made progress, something trivial will trigger her and it’s worse than ever.

So think twice, thrice, and 100 times before you jump the gun.

Here are what netizens think:

• Talk about changes. Isn’t life full of changes? So you have 3 kids you expect her not to change and be like the light of your life who do nothing before marriage? Before marriage she do not need to do housechores, care for 3 children 24/7, take care of you 24/7, worry about bills, worry about how you see her, how the kids see you. So you expect all the glory without responsibility? Wow.

• If you are one that work and come home be like tua pek gong sit there do nothing. Only hiam this and that then what you expect? Daily praise u? Yes you are tired after a long day of work. Mind you working at home is also a long day of work. If a career working wife plus caring 3 kids is also damm tiring.

• I agree with what others said u sure you didn’t change? Are you still that charming gentlemen who bring her out regularly? Praise her? Buy her gifts and frequent surprises? Dating night whenever possible and tell her u miss her?

Singapore is a recycling bin for Silicon Valley rejects and weird overpaid europeans

I work in tech, and I’m about to move overseas so this is my sayonara text to Singapore: You guys don’t know shit about tech and you hire shit talent and overpay them.

Tech being the hottest industry right now, I get that it’s attractive to people from all walks of life. But that doesn’t mean everyone is suited for it. I am so sick of dealing with crap code from people who don’t know better, and all these crappy PMs/BAs that can’t do their work and still get high salaries, AND all the weird scrum masters whose jobs are so useless I don’t even know why we pay them to teach us how to ‘optimise’ our work when they don’t optimise our costs. Please stop buying into western methodologies if you don’t know how to use them.

The worst part? Salary discrepancies of locals and foreigners. You guys can try to defend all you want, most foreigners get paid more to live the high life here while doing a fraction of the work. Why do we pay these people so much more money? I don’t get it. What sort of value do they provide? Do we really need to drive our living costs higher with gentrification?

If they actually are better than local talent and provide value to the economy, sure thing, have a seat at the table. But here we are, dealing with foreigner supremacy when their quality of work is trash and all they do is talk and get the Asians to do the work and take the credit.

Am I xenophobic? Maybe. But those working in the industry will know the crap we need to deal with.

Singapore, please: Put more gates to check the talent coming in. There’s so many unreported cases of fake qualifications, biased hiring among certain races, and with the min salary of EP being 5k even for junior positions, it’s just a free-for-all for these people.

I’m not saying Singaporean talent are that much better, and the tech scene here is generally just sad and wayang. Singapore for Singaporeans needs to be practiced in order to nurture our own people. We’re being milked by fakes and you’re delusional if you don’t see it. Peace.

Boyfriend confessed he is bisexual

I have a boyfriend of 1+ year who just recently confessed to me that he is attracted to his male colleague.

He said that they only flirt and nothing else. He is asked me to let him explore his sexual orientation while still continuing to date him.

I am so confused. If he like guys, isn’t he gay? Or he is bisexual? It’s a little awkward for me.

I accidentally found out that they have been exchanging photos of their Pe.nis. i confronted him and he said it’s just part of his “exploration”. He say he can stop doing it if I am affected and that he still wants me to be with him.

Now what? Ladies, what would you do?

Here are what netizens think:

• What do you want from him? Family, kids, comfort, financials, independence, friendship, trust, etc. Plenty of people have open relationships and are happy. Others have no wish for kids while others just want someone to be with at home. Some just enjoy making other people happy. Stop asking other people’s opinions and figure out what you want. At least he’s honest and open. He’s given you a choice which is more than most give.

• If you’re dating to marry, move on. He’s pushing your boundaries now and will continue to do so the longer you stay together.

• Given that it is hard to tell Singaporean males and females apart, isn’t everyone in the country essentially bisexual?

• Nothing wrong with being bi-/exploring his own sexuality but it’s unfair for him to essentially be cheating on the side and still expect to keep you with him!

• Bisexual doesn’t mean he can have one male and one female partner. He may like both males and females, but when it comes to a relationship, he still has to choose one.