Social media is ruining my gf’s self-esteem. How to ease her insecurity?

I’m with my gf for 2 years. We don’t have any major issues other than the fact that she allows herself to be affected by what others post.

Like people who post ig pics that they went to fancy restaurants and expensive holidays, indulging in branded bags and wearing luxury items. Posting as though they are living a fantastic life.

I mean, I don’t really care as I think most of these are superficial and fake and also attention seeking.

My gf on the other hand, will feel jealous and sulk when she mentions so and so just went to where and where. Like we are planning to see cherry blossoms this year. She is ok with that but asked if we can visit somewhere further year end. I know she has friends who can go on multiple trips in a year. But we only budget for one trip this year. I’m not saying year end I won’t be planning anything but its likely we will not travel out for December.

She also told me her friends rents branded clothes and bags and asks me to sponsor her as a bday gift as she wants to try. I don’t see the point. Its money spent but end of the day you own nothing.

Only memories of the things worn if you had photos taken? I would rather we have a nice dinner and watch a concert.

She’s starting to act like I should be more supportive of her wanting to match up to her materialistic friends which I don’t think there is a need to. Both of us are earning a decent wage for our age but I think we are more on the thrifty kind of lifestyle. She does own a few nice and fancy items which I find it ok to treat ourselves once in a while. I just don’t see the need to rent branded items and clothes.

Here are what netizens think:

• Spending money you do not have to impress people who don’t care . Classic

• She’s digging your gold lil bro

• If she is unable to change her pov… You can change gf already.But if she says all these in jest and manja2 type, can give chance… But you shouldn’t indulge her in more than you yourself can afford.Perhaps tell her to stop being addicted to social media and read a book or something.

Property Agents are amongst the worst of people! – change my mind

I am looking for an apartment right now…

• No shows to viewing appointments
• Ignoring my messages
• Misleading images from different units on ads
• Having ad open for already taken units just to push other units on you
• Asking for outrages commission(because they co broke) and calling it market rate
• Trying to price gouge by pretending they have an offer and saying you have to over bid
• … and all of this while arriving at the viewing (if they come) in a Porsche, with Prada bag and D&G shoes

Netizens’ comments

1. Well i knew a guy from primary school who had the most innocuous looking face but was…
   ..a massive fking liar and a thief (stole from me, confronted him, act blur and his mother even defended him)
   He became a property agent.
2. Property agents really are generally quite scummy. I’ve had nothing but bad experiences with them. They downright lie to close a sale and yet can often be heard telling parties (usually during heated exchanges) that the commission means nothing to them. What braggarts. If it really means nothing to you then don’t lie so much or use your pressure tactics to close.
   They really need to be better regulated.
3. Was from a certain unit in NS and now lots of people i know in there are prop agents. Often seeing fb / insta posts -> Sold Unit 20,000 above market price!, etc. etc. Always wondered how the buyer would feel when the buyer sees these posts lol
4. I have met outright cheating agent (took deposit from multiple people) and when we went to police station to open case, police informed us that guy was already in jail for cheating. Borderline cheating one and another irresponsible one. So I am saying, you are not wrong to take it that way.

But I think I am lucky enough to meet with a few good property agents, particularly the one connected by one of my buddy. He became ‘exclusive’ property agent for my whole family. He transacted 5 properties within our circle. This is our experience.

• picks me up and drives me around for viewing appointment
• reply message within a couple of hours, usually within an hour
• informed the unit on ads and photo are not correct/sold/tenanted
• when we give them the ads list, went through and get back with unsold list
• also came back with appointment list
• Commission fees is standard rate and informed me at the beginning
• Always negotiate for me and try to get lowest price
• also show me the past/current/estimate price of the property we viewed
• When I was in very tight situation, he offered me to pay his commission two months later.

Slept with a bigger guy and I honestly loved it

So there’s this guy I met who clearly was interested in me who’s definitely a very big man easily over 130kg which is a lot bigger than me.

He wasn’t really physically “my type” or at least I thought so but he’s definitely handsome just big. He had asked me out and he’s very sweet and so I said yes because I figured if nothing else we’d have a nice time.

We went to dinner which was nice and as I talked more with him I realized how judgemental I was. I was assuming he’d get a burger and a couple beers or something and he got a very light meal.

I asked him if he was actually hungry and he told me he was trying to lose weight and that medication that he had to be on made it very hard due to changes in his metabolism and energy level.

He went on about it in some depth. He has a regular light workout routine of what he can manage and a restricted diet. He had lost almost 20kg this year so far.

I honestly felt really proud of him in that moment and after dinner he asked if I wanted to back to his place for a movie on Netflix and maybe a drink. We were having a great time talking so I agreed.

We went to his very nice apartment and were watching the new IT while having a couple drinks. Well during one of the scary parts I jumped and instinctively grabbed him and he was so warm and soft like a big teddy bear.

I remember looking at him and I kissed him without even thinking about it. We kept making out and eventually we slept together and it was honestly the best I think I’ve ever had.

He was very gentle and giving and I enjoyed every minute. I woke up in his arms the next morning and we hooked up again after I noticed his morning wood and we made plans to do this again.

I honestly really like this guy and f what society thinks about him weighing literally over twice as much as me. He’s very sweet, caring, feels amazing to cuddle and is honestly likely the best lover I’ve ever had.

Should I break up with him?

I have changed the story substantially to protect my identity but the advice will apply to my situation.

I met a guy during my first year. He was in his first year of medical school and I was in my first year of accounting. We hit it off right away. We shared similar tastes in food, in movies, in hobbies, we even took the same third-lang in secondary school. We’ve been dating for more than 8 years now. We don’t fight, we always spend time together. Everything is better than I have ever imagined when it’s just the two of us.

Recently we’ve been talking about marriage. It would have been a no-brainer for me to marry him were it not for this weird philosophy that he has about our responsibilities as spouses. He believes strongly that he is marrying me and not my family and likewise I am marrying him and not his family.

According to him, I will be exempted of all my obligations to his family if I so want to be, and he should be given the same privilege. This, apparently, isn’t just his idea. His whole family thinks this way, even his parents. His mom sat me down once to tell me that while I am always welcome, I will not be expected to do anything and she hopes I don’t expect her son to do the same. One detail. Both his parents are doctors and they own and run a specialist clinic together.

My dad is a taxi driver and my mom is a homemaker.

My mom and dad have been giving me pressure to soldier on with the marriage and they have indicated to me that they plan to ask for an obscene 5-figure amount in dowry and more than half of the banquet seats. His parents have also spoken to me and they said they will not be participating in any tradition, and all costs for the marriage will be borne 50/50.

It’s probably worth noting that my boyfriend’s family do not celebrate any festivals (not Christmas, not CNY) and they are passionate atheists. I am pretty indifferent about my family’s traditions but I don’t know if I’m willing to get into a fight with my parents over what will come across as blatant disrespect. I also feel uneasy that my boyfriend does not believe in helping out with my duties to my family. One reason I want to marry is the fact that there are many challenges in life that are just easier to take on with help, most of these challenges involve my responsibilities to my family. I have a brother who is unfortunately autistic, and another brother who has a juvenile record and recently got a baby but refuses to work. He had this baby with a girl out of wedlock and now all of them are living in my parents’ three-bedroom apartment. Most of the money I earn helps pay for all the problems that keep happening in my family. I don’t like that I can’t catch a break either. But it doesn’t feel right to renegade on my family even when they are clearly suffocating.

I was fortunate enough to have had financial aid through the very elite schools that I grew up in. My friends are all from upper middle class families and I have spoken to them. Apparently they were quite uniform in their inability to support me on this issue because they also believe that it would be difficult for them to want to marry someone if they didn’t first have assurances that their lives wouldn’t be made more difficult post-marriage. In other words, most of them took the side of my boyfriend.

Am I the weird one to be expecting my future husband to share my burdens, however heavy they are? If I go through with this, I’m afraid of how ugly things can get with my boyfriend’s family being of a completely different culture to mine. But if I do not, I don’t know there is a guy out there that exists that I get along with while still being willing to support me.

–

I had been struggling for a while, and things had been looking bleak. But I had made some tough decisions, and it had all paid off. I was finally able to look at my finances and see that I was in the green. I was making a profit.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was finally able to reap the rewards. I was elated, and I wanted to share my success with the world. So, I went out and bragged to everyone I knew about how I had profited from my business.

The truth was that my parents had pumped money to save my business from dying

But the truth was, I hadn’t really profited from my business. Sure, I had made some smart decisions and had worked hard, but the real reason my business had started turning around was because my parents had pumped money into it to save it.

That was how my finances turned green and but people around thought that I had done it all by myself.

They had seen how much I was struggling and had decided to help me out.

I felt terrible. Not only had I lied to everyone about my business making money, but I had also taken advantage of my parents’ generosity.

My parents told me that they knew I had been struggling and that they wanted to help me out. They also said that they were proud of me for turning my business around with the money they pumped in and for being honest about the situation.

However, I still felt guilty. I had taken advantage of my parents’ generosity, and I was ashamed of myself. I knew I would never be able to look at myself in the same way again.

Still, I was determined to turn things around and make my business successful. I promised myself that I would never again take advantage of anyone, and I started working harder than ever to make sure my business stayed in the black.

But it was too late. The damage had already been done. I had lied about my profits, and it would always be a stain on my reputation.

I was embarrassed and ashamed of my actions, and I knew that I would never be able to look at myself in the same way again.

I am an old man living in Singapore, and it saddens me deeply when I look at the young people of my beloved country.

It is not because of their lack of knowledge or intelligence, but because of the language barrier that is growing between generations.

People used to be able to converse in their different dialects

I remember when I was a young boy, my parents and grandparents used to speak to me in the dialect of our home town. I was able to understand and even speak dialects of other home towns a little.

It was nice to be able to communicate with my family in our own language. This way, I was able to learn more about our culture and heritage.

Fast forward to today, and the situation is different. Young people in Singapore now do not really speak their dialects anymore. It is rare to find someone who can carry a conversation in their dialect, let alone understand it.

This is especially true of the younger generation, who are more exposed to English and their Mother Tongue as their primary languages.

It is a shame that such an important part of our culture is slowly being forgotten. Our dialects are an important part of our identity and heritage, and it would be a tragedy if they were to completely disappear.

I understand that language evolves over time, and it is natural for some dialects to become extinct. However, I believe that it is still possible for young people to learn and appreciate their dialects.

I truly believe that it is not too late to save our dialects. With the right effort and dedication, young people in Singapore can still learn and appreciate their dialects.

After all, this is an important part of our heritage and identity, and it would be a shame if it was lost forever.

We got an email from our boss one day. It was a memo to all employees with the context that he was going to start micromanaging us.

He said he was going to be overseeing every aspect of our work and that he was expecting us to do more to make money for him.

Started to nitpick on every single detail

At first, I thought it was strange. My boss had never been one to meddle with our day-to-day operations. He had always trusted us to handle the tasks assigned to us. But now he was saying he wanted to be involved in every little detail.

It wasn’t long before my boss started micromanaging us. He wanted to know every single thing we were doing, from how we answered the phone to how we filed paperwork.

He also started giving us new tasks that weren’t in our job descriptions, like making cold calls to potential clients and researching new markets.

At first, I was okay with it. I figured that if my boss wanted to get more involved in our work, then I should let him. I wanted to prove to him that I was a hard worker and that I could handle the extra tasks.

But soon, I started to feel overwhelmed. My boss was constantly checking in with me and nitpicking my work. He was demanding more and more from me and I was struggling to keep up.

I was also worried that he was going to start cutting hours or even worse, let me go.

Decided to talk to him and left the company after he didn’t change

Finally, I had had enough. I went to my boss and asked him to stop micromanaging me. I told him that I was doing my best and that I didn’t need him to be constantly hovering over me.

But he didn’t listen. He just kept pushing me harder and harder until I felt like I was about to break.

Eventually, I quit my job. I couldn’t take the stress and pressure anymore. I had been doing my best, but my boss had been too demanding and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I’m still looking for a new job, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever find one. I’m scared that I’ll end up in another situation like this one and I’m not sure if I can handle it again.

My experience with my boss has made me realize just how important it is to have a supportive work environment.

It’s not just about making money, it’s also about feeling valued and appreciated. I hope other employers will realize this and create an environment where their employees can thrive.

It was a tough moment when my mum found out that I was working part-time while I was studying. She had been helping me out since I started university, and had always been understanding of my needs and wants.

But she was so angry when she found out that I was working. She said that I should focus on my studies and since I wanted to work, she would stop paying for my University fees and I can pay for it myself.

The reason why I started working part time was because I found out that while her finances were able to help me pay for my tuition, I could not pay for my daily needs.

Had to take up more jobs to cover for everything

I was left with no other option. I had to take up another part-time job to cover the costs of my tuition fees, textbooks, and other expenses.

I knew my mum would be angry, but I didn’t have any other choice. I was determined to finish my degree, but without her help, I knew it was going to be a lot harder.

I tried to explain the situation to my mum, but she would not listen. She said that she had given me enough money, and that it wasn’t her responsibility to help me out any more.

She said that I should be more responsible and that it was my own fault that I was in this situation.

I felt helpless and hopeless. I wanted to explain to her that I had worked hard and that I was doing my best to complete my degree. I had worked so hard to get where I am, and I was so close to finishing. But she wouldn’t listen.

She said that she was not going to help me any more, and that it was my own responsibility to pay for my own degree.

I felt so defeated. I had worked so hard and had put so much effort into my studies, and yet I was being denied the help I needed to finish my degree. I was so close to graduating, and yet I felt like I was being pushed back.

I had no other choice but to find a way to pay for my degree. I had to take up more shifts at my part-time job, and I had to cut back on other expenses.

It was hard, and it was stressful, but I was determined to make it work.

After months of hard work and struggling, I finally finished my degree. I was so relieved, but at the same time, I felt a deep sadness.

My mum had not been there to support me, and that hurt. I wished she had been there to cheer me on, but instead, she had decided to cut me off.

I’m a 40-something woman and I’ve recently started dating someone who is seven years younger than me. I’m not ashamed of it and I don’t care what anyone else thinks, but I can’t help but notice the double standard society has when it comes to relationships between older men and younger women versus older women and younger men.

Society thinks its normal for older men to date younger women but not older women dating younger men

It seems as though it’s perfectly acceptable in our society for older men to date much younger women, and nobody bats an eye.

In fact, men in this age bracket are often praised for their taste in women, and it’s seen as a sign of success and power. It’s almost as if it’s expected that an older man will have a younger woman on his arm.

On the flip side, when it comes to older women dating younger men, the reaction is often much different.

Instead of being praised for their taste in men, older women are often ridiculed and judged for their decision. It’s seen as a sign of desperation or an inability to find someone their own age.

It’s a shame that this double standard exists, because older women are just as capable of having relationships with younger men as older men are with younger women.

Women in their 40s and 50s are just as attractive and desirable as they were when they were younger, and they should be able to pursue relationships with younger men without being judged.

It’s also worth mentioning that the age gap between older men and younger women can be much larger than the age gap between older women and younger men.

This is something that society often overlooks, but it’s important to point out because it further reinforces the double standard.

At the end of the day, relationships are between two people, and they should be judged on an individual basis instead of being lumped into one big group.

Whether it’s an older man and a younger woman, an older woman and a younger man, or two people of the same age, it’s not anyone else’s place to judge.

Everyone should be free to pursue relationships that make them happy without worrying about what other people think.