Hi yalls, 24M here, will graduate uni next year. TLDR, I wanna know what y’all think of someone getting a BTO/resale flat with his single mother. Reasons: we do not own a flat, and we currently live in a 1-bedroom rental flat.

I do plan to get married in the future, but I’m not currently dating, and at the rate that I’m going I’m probably going to be single for a while, ‘cos I’m just constantly doing internships and studying so I don’t actively meet anyone.

So, my parents divorced when I was 1yo, and never really had much contact with my father. Due to certain reasons, my mom lost the matrimonial home and we’ve been staying in a rental, 1-bedroom HDB for a few years now. (I have an elder sister but she has married out so she’s kinda out of the picture)

I have thought of renting a place when I graduate but I don’t feel good about spending close to 1000 a month on rent, but yet I can’t seem to be satisfied with sleeping in the living room for the next few years. And hence I’ve thought about this. (My earning potential is around 5k-6k/mth as a fresh grad, and hence the downpayment amt isn’t really a concern as long as I have 1 or 2 years.)

But then this does still raise a few concerns, right? For the ladies, would you be okay with settling down with someone like me, knowing well that you won’t be able to do the conventional BTO, or maybe even the fact that you might have to live with your mother-in-law? If anyone else had been in a similar situation, would appreciate it if you could share ur pov! Thanks.

Her are what netizens think:

• if she is eligible, register only herself as the owner and you as the occupier. Dont “waste” the first timer status by being an co-owner. However it would mean you cannot use your CPF to help pay for the flat. in any case, when you do get married, you get yourself out of the ownership and loan repayment for your own place. and, one mountain cannot house 2 tigers. also, when 2 elephants fight, the grass suffers.

• 1) Your earning potential is not 5-6K as a grad. You need to reduce this figure to 3-5K, it’s modest.
  2) No one wants to live with their in-laws if they have a choice. Even if they get along well, it’s just not comfortable to be all under one roof.
  3) When you do find the one, you both can still get a flat cos you have two chances to buy HDB, or your mum can buy a flat and list you as an occupier and you help pay the mortgage. Then it doesn’t mess up the number of times you can buy and also first time buyer has many advantages and discounts, don’t waste it on co-signing with your mum. Just let her buy the flat, put under her name and you help to pay.

• Suppose you buy a 3room bto, you are looking at 250k. The downpayment is 25k, subtracted from your cpf. Grant would put you around 50k. You need to pay the remaining out of cpf. Without sufficient cpf, you borrow the whole amount, you are looking at 175k. That is $795 for 25years. Meaning you won’t have sufficient retirement fund. Work for a few more years first. Reduce that loan amount.

worked my way up from entry-level to upper management over the past 26+ years. I read the posts here, but I thought my situation was different. I thought I was different. I was running multiple projects and supervised several clinical departments effectively (at least that’s what I thought).

We had a new CEO come in about a year ago and I was the only member of the admin team that he didn’t pick himself, yet I still thought my situation was different and I was safe.

Today, in a mere 45 seconds, he told me I wasn’t working out and he was making a change to the leadership team. After 26 years, my career ended in 45 seconds.

So I sit here tonight admitting that I was stupid and naïve. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. If you think it won’t happen to you, don’t be too sure.

Guy in mid-50’s looking for a job… It happened a couple hours ago and I feel completely numb. I have chills. Not sure what to do or where to turn.

Sorry to be a downer but I’m alone and needed to vent to someone. Thanks for listening. I’m going to bed.

Netizens’ comments

1. With that amount of experience in a single location, there will be things you know about operations that the rest of your team may not. In the event they call or email you asking for assistance, do not help without being compensated. You owe them no favors and they can pay you for your efforts should this happen to you.
2. CEOs are routinely utter shit. I mean, zero-empathy but also clueless. They see their job as being willing to go in and make big unpopular decisions — and they get paid by people (investors, usually) who also see that as their job.
   Are those decisions good? Often, no, they’re stupid and terrible. But they’re supposed to make big changes! Even if it doesn’t pay off! Eggs and omelets, and so on.
   New CEOs are the worst. I worked for a big company, and we got a new one, and he immediately announced there’d be a big round of layoffs to pump up the stock. Right, because he made money from the stock going up, not from the company doing well.
3. For tonight, have some comfort food, maybe a beer, watch a favorite show/movie, take a long hot shower, turn off phone & alarms, and sleep in tomorrow.
   Tomorrow [some suggest taking a long weekend of rest, then start this next Monday], freshen your resume & interview skills.
   Have a relaxing lunch at a favorite restaurant.
   Contact old co-workers to be references.
   Take stock of your financial position.
   Over the weekend, relax & putter. Catch up on reading, hobbies. Just take a break.
   Return to thinking about a job next Monday. Look on job listing sites. Ask friends if they have heard about something you might be good with.

Just sent resignation: any advice?

I had been contemplating to resign for about 5 months now. My manager is a shitshow who doesn’t know how to do half his work and push all work to us and tries to keep a good front towards the higher ups by insisting the department is managing fine despite the low staff count (one on HL, one is going through rough health issue as well, left with 3 of us handling everything).

The company restructured recently and we had to take on even more work. I had to work Saturdays and Sundays to complete my work as well.

I decided enough is enough and scheduled my resignation to be sent to my manager, the HR manager and BCC my personal email.

My manager is known as a longwinded person and likes to get his way. How should I go about it if he tries to insists I stay? And how to handle if he purposely makes my life hell during notice?

Thanks.

Edit: Actually this is my first full time job in the industry I studied in. That is why I am afraid/nervous of how it would go tomorrow and not sure what to expect. As this is the first time I’m ‘throwing letter’, I don’t know how I should be handling whatever comes next.

Netizens’ comments

1. He cannot force you to stay period. If he makes your life hell just act blur lor. While serving your notice, inform everyone on your team you will document what is needed to help whoever is taking over your portfolio.
   Spend the rest of the notice doing that and a few days before you are going to leave, email everyone in the team with the documents before you go. Even you bueh song, you at least look professional when leaving
2. One word of advise. Never rescind your resignation, even if they do give a better offer or promise.

The thing about accepting counter offer is that your management know u will leave so they starts hiring for a replacement while you’re here to hold the fort and train/handover the new guy who supposedly hired to assist you.

Also, the reason that caused your resignation won’t be fixed or there will be a new reason that appear. You are just delaying ur resignation. Unless u aim to get a pay increment and then resign for more money. Haha.

So ya. Once u resign, just stay w the decision.

Social media is ruining my gf’s self-esteem. How to ease her insecurity?

I’m with my gf for 2 years. We don’t have any major issues other than the fact that she allows herself to be affected by what others post.

Like people who post ig pics that they went to fancy restaurants and expensive holidays, indulging in branded bags and wearing luxury items. Posting as though they are living a fantastic life.

I mean, I don’t really care as I think most of these are superficial and fake and also attention seeking.

My gf on the other hand, will feel jealous and sulk when she mentions so and so just went to where and where. Like we are planning to see cherry blossoms this year. She is ok with that but asked if we can visit somewhere further year end. I know she has friends who can go on multiple trips in a year. But we only budget for one trip this year. I’m not saying year end I won’t be planning anything but its likely we will not travel out for December.

She also told me her friends rents branded clothes and bags and asks me to sponsor her as a bday gift as she wants to try. I don’t see the point. Its money spent but end of the day you own nothing.

Only memories of the things worn if you had photos taken? I would rather we have a nice dinner and watch a concert.

She’s starting to act like I should be more supportive of her wanting to match up to her materialistic friends which I don’t think there is a need to. Both of us are earning a decent wage for our age but I think we are more on the thrifty kind of lifestyle. She does own a few nice and fancy items which I find it ok to treat ourselves once in a while. I just don’t see the need to rent branded items and clothes.

Here are what netizens think:

• Spending money you do not have to impress people who don’t care . Classic

• She’s digging your gold lil bro

• If she is unable to change her pov… You can change gf already.But if she says all these in jest and manja2 type, can give chance… But you shouldn’t indulge her in more than you yourself can afford.Perhaps tell her to stop being addicted to social media and read a book or something.

Property Agents are amongst the worst of people! – change my mind

I am looking for an apartment right now…

• No shows to viewing appointments
• Ignoring my messages
• Misleading images from different units on ads
• Having ad open for already taken units just to push other units on you
• Asking for outrages commission(because they co broke) and calling it market rate
• Trying to price gouge by pretending they have an offer and saying you have to over bid
• … and all of this while arriving at the viewing (if they come) in a Porsche, with Prada bag and D&G shoes

Netizens’ comments

1. Well i knew a guy from primary school who had the most innocuous looking face but was…
   ..a massive fking liar and a thief (stole from me, confronted him, act blur and his mother even defended him)
   He became a property agent.
2. Property agents really are generally quite scummy. I’ve had nothing but bad experiences with them. They downright lie to close a sale and yet can often be heard telling parties (usually during heated exchanges) that the commission means nothing to them. What braggarts. If it really means nothing to you then don’t lie so much or use your pressure tactics to close.
   They really need to be better regulated.
3. Was from a certain unit in NS and now lots of people i know in there are prop agents. Often seeing fb / insta posts -> Sold Unit 20,000 above market price!, etc. etc. Always wondered how the buyer would feel when the buyer sees these posts lol
4. I have met outright cheating agent (took deposit from multiple people) and when we went to police station to open case, police informed us that guy was already in jail for cheating. Borderline cheating one and another irresponsible one. So I am saying, you are not wrong to take it that way.

But I think I am lucky enough to meet with a few good property agents, particularly the one connected by one of my buddy. He became ‘exclusive’ property agent for my whole family. He transacted 5 properties within our circle. This is our experience.

• picks me up and drives me around for viewing appointment
• reply message within a couple of hours, usually within an hour
• informed the unit on ads and photo are not correct/sold/tenanted
• when we give them the ads list, went through and get back with unsold list
• also came back with appointment list
• Commission fees is standard rate and informed me at the beginning
• Always negotiate for me and try to get lowest price
• also show me the past/current/estimate price of the property we viewed
• When I was in very tight situation, he offered me to pay his commission two months later.