Very disappointed at the state of grab/GOJEK

Drivers will accept your ride, then never move at all to your pick up location or respond to your call/msg. Once the grace period is up they just cancel and you get charged a cancellation fee.

Why do they do this, and why is it that they do not seem to face any consequences? These apps were supposed to add value but now better to use taxi / public transport…

Netizens’ comments

• These apps were supposed to disrupt, now they just suck your blood
• I use comfort now.
• Had a driver who wasn’t aware that the rule changed to groups of five back during the CB. And then proceeded to make a false report about my family not wearing masks during the ride. Gojek and their shitty customer service didn’t even bother to listen to the customer
• Wait why is no one addressing the elephant in the room? How do you get charged a cancellation fee if the driver is the one to cancel? I’ve had drivers cancel on me and I’ve never once been charged a cancellation fee.
  With drivers who don’t pick me up, I sometimes use another platform and keep the booking with the errant driver anyway. I figured if they’re still supposed to pick me up, they won’t be getting any job until mine is canceled. I’ve never entertained any request they make asking me to cancel. If they don’t want to pick me up, they should cancel instead.
• Just report to grab, if they get multiple reports eventually they’ll get ban. Make sure to explain to grab that they are cheating customers.
• Need to get somewhere far far away from you? Leave house earlier. We do have one of the best and well-connected transport in the world. There aren’t exactly crazy jams like what you see in Bangkok or Vietnam, so just take it.
  Going drinking till late? Start drinking earlier and take the last train home. Honestly, I’ve been accustomed to this because of COVID as bars had to close at 10:30PM previously, so I started at around 6pm.
  If really no choice but need to take private hire? Check Grab, Gojek, Tada & Comfort. Remember to use all the points and vouchers you have too.
  Grab is a flop, can’t wait for them to finally run out of money.
• I am really glad that I only used these apps twice last year to book rides to and from the airport. I avoided using them altogether not just for ride hailing but also for food delivery. I really hope that such ride hailing companies who try to masquerade as lifestyle apps but in reality fleecing the consumers, will disappear for good one day.

Pending pes F but my mother wants me to serve.

I’m pending pes F from the army but my mother keeps asking me to serve.

I was diagnosed with severe adjustment disorder and just cannot deal with being in the army and being around people that clearly also hate their own situation.

So should I continue to serve or not?

I can definitely continue to serve but I know if I do my mental health will continue to worsen.

Netizens’ comments

Fellow PES F here. Finance industry. You’re scared about the uncertainty ahead, there are so many what-if’s and I am here to answer that.

Most of the commenters here obviously did serve NS and know nothing about PES F.

I’ll just share with you what I have encountered.

Job application, this may affect if you are applying for government-related job in both public sector or GLC. You will have employers raising your eyebrows at the fact that you’ve been exempted from army. They WILL ask you for reasons. So go think of a convincing story, and don’t tell them “oh it was in a different environment and hence i developed severe adjustment disorder” because they can form the impression that you may also undergo the same situation as you did when you were in army. Something like “I was being bullied in army…etc but I have since been certified by a specialist that I no longer suffer from adjustment disorder and that I have been functioning well. The diagnosis is no longer in the system, etc”. You need to make sure that you convince them that your adjustment disorder happened because SOLELY of army. Army environment is not for everyone after all. Of course if you’re interviewing for a SME with a very strong hierarchy and “yes-man” culture like army then please go cook up another reason.

I applied for 5 roles previously a year ago. 1 government/GLC and 4 private sector. I got offers from all 4 private companies. Government outright rejected me the moment they heard of the word “exempted”. Some commenter mentioned that it is against TAFEP tripartite guidelines to ask or to be rejected based on NS or PES-related matters, but seriously TAFEP is nothing in Singapore. They don’t give a f. They just churn out guidelines and occasionally official circulars. Yes, they are an outright arm of the Ministry of Manpower but they’re just like a toothless tiger, similar to CASE.

After discharge, please make sure you go back to the same specialist and get him to write a memo that you are no longer suffering from adjustment disorder and you are well and functioning in school/work. Do make sure that he writes that you were suffering from adjustment disorder with army as the stressor. You will need the memo not just for jobs, but also for insurance.

Private sector doesn’t give a crap about army, provided that you don’t act like a screaming creep plagued with insanity. As long as you can convince them that you’re an asset to the company, you’re hired. Public sector can be very conservative. The one I interviewed at even asked me to write down my PES status.

On to the next, insurance. PES F will have dire implications on insurance application in the near future, and it is because of the diagnosis, not too much on the PES. No one will even know what is PES status if you’re applying for insurance overseas. We’re not in Western countries where policies are too liberal and insurers are not allowed to discriminate based on disabilities/illnesses or get a hefty fine. In SG, no insurer will underwrite someone with severe adjustment disorder as it is too risky. Just think about it, if you’re an insurance company, will you insure someone with severe adjustment disorder with scientifically-studied high risk of self-harm/suicide? What if the insured starts self-harming like starvation and it leads to other implications that require treatment? You will need to pay for their treatment if this happens, or if death occurs, you will need to give a huge payout that consists of hundreds of thousands of dollars if that happens. Of course not.

You will need the specialist memo to even get insured, but you will need to be off-meds and wait 1-2 years before they will even consider underwriting you. Do keep in mind that you may have exclusions on your insurance policy or even additional loading (so e.g other people pay $100 but you pay $150, an additional of $50).

All in all, just ask yourself. Do you still want to serve? If the answer is an resounding no, then just PES F. That’s about it. Mental health is as important as physical health.

Just make sure you plan your route well. Think about what do you want to do after PES F. Uni? Work? Take a short break before you start hustling? You gotta think about all these before you go down the road of PES F. It is irreversible. There is no point PES F-ing if you’re just gonna be useless and do nothing at all at home with no goals and aim, because trust me that will make you feel way worse than now.

Keep in mind, always have a goal. It doesn’t have to be some extremely high-flying goal like “wow I want to be earning $20k/month once I get out of army” because you’re still young and that goal is unrealistic. Something as simple as “I will go to the gym 3x a week and make it a habit to watch Bloomberg 30 minutes every morning” will suffice for your age, at least you have something to work towards and make sure you better f-ing stick to it and don’t give yourself excuses.

Your PES doesn’t define you. I used to believe that PES F is absolutely shit and I will not make it in life because I look around me and everyone served NS except for me and no one will want me, but I always had a goal and I was disciplined to stick to it. And today, I am in the process of moving into an investment role in one of the F500 companies. Believe in yourself, always remember that and good luck.

I thought I had found my match on Tinder. We had been messaging for a few weeks and he seemed like the perfect guy. He was handsome, funny, and had the same interests as me.

So when he asked me to meet up for a date, I was more than excited.

Asked me to feed him my ‘milk’ because I called him ‘baby’

Little did I know, I was in for a big surprise. We had been chatting for a while when he suddenly asked me if I could feed him milk. I was taken aback and not sure how to respond.

He then explained that it was because I called him “baby” in our messages. I didn’t know what to say, so I just laughed it off and changed the subject.

But then he kept bringing it up again and again. He said he really wanted to try it and that it was an experience he was dying to have.

I tried to be polite and told him that I didn’t feel comfortable doing something like that. But he kept pushing, saying that it would be a unique experience for us.

Finally, I had enough and told him that I didn’t want to do it. I could tell by the look on his face that he was disappointed.

He started to become aggressive and started telling me that I was being selfish and that I was denying him something he wanted.

I was so shocked and scared, so I quickly stood up and said I had to leave. He tried to stop me, but I managed to make it out the door.

I was shaken up from the whole experience and started to question my judgment when it came to online dating.

I never heard from him again and I was relieved.

From now on, I will take more precautions when it comes to meeting someone from an online dating app. I’m just glad that I made it out of the situation without any harm.

I have been with my bf (20M) for a year. We also live together and are very happy. But ever since we started dating it was apparent to me that his D smells a little funky.

It always has a fish-like smell, even right after he showers. It’s a little less after he showers but it is still prominent.

If I enter a room where he self pleasured in, the entire room will smell like fish. It is weird to me because I’ve seen him in the shower, he washes everything thoroughly.

We also get tested regularly (I have a paranoia about STDs so I test every couple months) and we were completely clean from everything.

Now I’m thinking this smell might be there because he loves to self pleasure couple times a day and I know that he showers every day — but he never showers right after it.

So the dried come will be in his underwear, under his foreskin etc for hours and hours. Sometimes I smell it through his clothes when I’m sitting next to him.

It is the reason why I almost never go down on him except right after he showers. How do I confront him about this in a nice way that won’t make him upset?

I know I would feel bad if someone sat me down and started talking about my genital smell so yeah. Thanks for the advice.

It all started when I moved in with my boyfriend. We had been together for a few months and he thought it was time to take the next step.

I was so excited and I knew it was going to be the perfect way to take our relationship to the next level.

He suddenly started to walk around the house naked

At first, everything was great. We were spending all of our time together and I was really enjoying getting to know him in a different way. We were both very comfortable in our new home.

That all changed when he started walking around the house naked. He would do it when I was there and when I wasn’t. He said it was because he was comfortable and it was no big deal.

I didn’t like it and I told him so. I told him that I felt disrespected when he did it. He said he didn’t understand why and that it was just a way for him to be comfortable.

I tried to explain to him that it was disrespectful to me and that I didn’t appreciate it. He still didn’t understand why and continued to walk around the house naked whenever he wanted.

It got to the point where it was really affecting our relationship. I was constantly feeling uncomfortable and disrespected. I couldn’t even look at him without feeling angry and hurt.

Told him to leave if he does not respect me

Finally, I had enough. I asked him to leave and told him that I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t respect me. He looked hurt but he agreed to leave.

I was sad that it had come to this, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had to stand up for myself and draw the line.

As he was walking out the door, he looked back at me and said, “I’m sorry you feel this way, but I guess this is it.” I watched him go and realized that I had just ended the relationship.

I felt a mix of emotions as I watched him walk away. I was heartbroken, and I felt like I had made a huge mistake over something very small.

It was a dark day for me when I had to close down my business. I had worked hard for years and invested a lot of money in it, but the market was not in my favor and I had to shut it down.

I felt terrible for the employees who were working with me, but I had no choice but to let them go and not be able to pay them the salaries they deserved.

Didn’t care if they had families to support, I decided to protect myself first

I knew that the workers were struggling financially, and some of them had families to support. But I was also struggling financially and had to prioritize my own interests first.

I knew that it was unfair to the workers, but in the end, I had to do what was best for my own financial future.

I tried to reassure the workers that they would get their salaries eventually, but I knew it was unlikely. I had invested so much money in the business that I could barely manage to pay my own bills.

I had to let go of the employees without being able to pay them, and I had to accept the fact that I wouldn’t be able to pay them their salaries.

The workers were understandably angry and frustrated. They had worked hard for me and trusted me to take care of them, but I had let them down.

I could see the disappointment in their eyes as I told them that I couldn’t pay them their salaries. I felt terrible for them, but I had no choice.

I knew that it was unfair to the workers, and I felt guilty for not being able to pay them. But in the end, I had to do what was best for my own financial future.

I had to make sure that my own interests were taken care of first, and that meant that I had to let the workers go without any compensation.

It was a difficult decision, but I had to make it in order to protect my own interests. I knew that the workers would be angry and frustrated, but I had to prioritize my own interests first.

I had invested so much money and time into the business that I had to make sure that I was taken care of first.

I had a brilliant business idea that I thought would really take off. It started off really well and I was sure I would make a killing.

I was even more certain when I got a few business partners on board who were willing to invest their money into the business.

Everything was doing well till I took money out secretly

At first, everything was going great. We were making a decent profit and I was growing the business. But then things started to go downhill.

I started to realize that I was not holding myself accountable to my partners. I was taking out money from the business secretly and using it to venture into other things.

This was not something I had told my partners about and it started to have an effect on the business.

The cash flow started to dwindle and I was no longer able to pay my partners their share of the profits. I tried to explain this to my partners, but they were not understanding and started to threaten legal action.

I knew the business was doomed, but I was too scared to admit it. I tried to make up for the money I had taken out by taking out even more, but it didn’t work.

Eventually, the business was unable to generate any more cash flow and had to close its doors.

They chased me back for the money and I was left with nothing

My business partners were not happy and they came after me for the money I had taken out. I was able to pay them back with the help of borrowing from people around me, but I was left with nothing.

I had put all my hard work and money into a business that I thought would make me wealthy, but instead I ended up with nothing.

I should have held myself accountable to my partners and not taken out money without their knowledge.

I should have been honest with them, but instead I chose to be secretive and it cost me everything and now it is too late for regrets.

I had been eyeing the deal for weeks. It was a big one, and I was sure it would be the breakthrough I needed to launch my business into the stratosphere. I was sure I had it in the bag.

But then it all came crashing down.

Talked down to a potential business partner because he dressed poorly

It started when I met with the potential business partner. He was dressed in shabby clothes and spoke with a slight accent. He didn’t seem to have much money, and I immediately assumed he was poor.

So I talked down to him.

I thought I was being subtle, but I guess he noticed. He kept his cool, but something in his eyes told me he was angry. I kept talking, and eventually, he said he didn’t think this was going to be a good fit.

I was stunned. I had blown the deal.

I had been so focused on getting the deal that I had forgotten one important thing: people don’t like to be talked down to.

I had let my own assumptions about this man’s wealth cloud my judgement. I had made a mistake, and it cost me the deal.

In fact, this potential business partner was one of the wealthiest in the field and I had blown it because I judged him by his dressing.

I am trying to change after this expensive lesson

I had been so sure I was going to get the deal that I hadn’t even considered the possibility of failure. I was embarrassed and ashamed.

I had learned my lesson. Going forward, I would remember that people are not defined by their wealth or status. I would treat everyone with respect, no matter their circumstances.

I had lost this deal, but I would not make this mistake again.

I’m 35, M, She’s 28 F,

Both of us are single, she’s an introverted homely type and I am too, to an extent, We get talking and have a lot of chemistry. I have not had this kind of chemistry and positive vibes with a lady in quite some time. (Okay longer then I care to admit to)

Don’t really know how to approach her

She’s a temp worker at my job, ( I know, I know) I’m full time, There’s no guarantee she’ll be there in a month. But, then again she might get the full time spot. I dread the thought of getting a GF at work, breaking up and having to see her.

I do at least want to ask her to hang out, outside of work. But, then again I’d feel like a creep if I did that and she said no. Do I ask her to hang out on one of our days off or keep her at arms length and friendly?

Here are what netizens think

• Just ask her if she wants to come with you for a lunch break or out to eat after your shift. If she says yes, learn more about her and be interested in what she says. If she says no, it was just an invite to eat no big deal.
  
• You are a man, if you do not approach her she’s not going to come to you like a free gift from heaven or something so learn to man up and open your mouth.
  
• For all you know she may just be a part timer and that will be it so just shoot your chances, nothing to lose out. You will never know until you try.