When I first heard that some companies really do call the referees listed on job applications, I was shocked. It had never occurred to me that something like this could happen.

My character referee really received a phone call from my potential employer

I had always just assumed that my references were just for show, and that no one would ever actually call them. But, it turns out that I was wrong.

Now, I understand that it is incredibly important to choose the right character referee when applying for a job. I know that if I choose someone who is not a strong reference, it could potentially hurt my chances of getting the job I want.

It could also reflect poorly on me if the company calls the referee and gets a bad review.

I am speaking from experience because I chose a former supervisor who I had worked with for several years in my previous company.

Even though we were not on very good terms, I was sure that he would help me speak some good words to my potential employers.

He ended up not putting a good word for me because we were not on good terms

Unfortunately, it didn’t end up working out the way I had hoped. When the company called my referee, they were not as positive as I had expected.

They gave me a bad review, and the company ended up choosing someone else for the job.

This experience has taught me a valuable lesson: it is incredibly important to choose the right character referee when applying for a job.

It could mean the difference between getting the job or not. I would advise anyone who is applying for a job to put a lot of thought and consideration into who they choose as their character referee.

It could make all the difference in the world.

I remember the first time I ever went into a pub. I was 21, and it was a huge milestone for me. I had been looking forward to going out to a bar and having a few drinks with my friends, and finally, the day had come.

I arrived at the pub with a few of my friends, and we looked around in awe at the place. It was definitely not what I expected, but I was excited nonetheless. We all ordered our drinks and settled down at a table.

All the aunties drooled at the sight of me

That’s when I noticed the ladies at the bar. They were in their 40s and 50s, and they were all dressed up. They were talking and laughing, and it was obvious that they were having a good time.

Then, one of them noticed me. She looked at me for a second and then, without saying a word, she smiled at me. I felt a little bit uncomfortable, and I could feel my cheeks turning red.

She then asked me how old am I and I replied that I am 21.

The ladies then all started to drool, like they were all excited that I was a young 21-year-old. I felt a bit strange, like they were all trying to flirt with me or something.

I think they wanted to have ‘fun’ with me or something, but I didn’t want to go there.

The ladies then started to buy me drinks, which was nice of them, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable. I wanted to get out of there and go back to my friends, but I felt like I couldn’t because it would be rude.

I eventually left the pub with my friends, and I was glad to be away from the ladies. I had a great time at the pub, but I couldn’t help but feel a little bit uncomfortable with their attention.

That was when I realised that I’m definitely not into the ‘mother’ stuff.

My bf and I have been together for about a year. A few months ago, my bf ask to borrow 10k due to an emergency situation so I lent it to him.

During that period, we also went on vacation together which was already planned. I paid first due to aforementioned emergency situation and he said he’ll pay me back.

It’s been a couple of months and I have asked him on a few occasions about it.

The first time he said he’ll pay in a few days. The second time I asked he said give him a few weeks. The third time instead of just asking casually we worked out a payment plan and he said he’ll pay me back a little monthly. The fourth time he said he’ll start paying at the beginning of this month.

It’s not the beginning of the month and he’s made no mention of it. Personally, I don’t care that much about the money. I don’t even care if I don’t get it back.

But him dragging this on with no communication unless I bring it up is making me feel unloved, and that he’s not a trustworthy and reliable person.

I am also starting to feel taken advantage of. I want a partner in life to journey with me, and not someone I have to carry through life.

He knows about one of my exes who owed me money and took forever to pay only because I made a fuss, and that the reason it was a big deal to me was because I felt he was not putting equal effort in

How should I best approach this situation? I don’t want to bring it up again for him to delay it more, or for him to only pay up because I’m getting mad. Also not sure if it this is a situation where I should just break up.

Tldr: boyfriend owes me money and it’s making me feel unloved and I don’t know what to do

I (31F) feel genuine rage towards my immigrant parents sometimes (55M, F)

I’d like the perspective of children of immigrants and how they cope with this. Or those with technologically inept parents.

Since childhood, I’ve been helping my parents with every. Single. Thing. Paperwork? I fill it out. Anything technology related? I do it. Doctor’s appointments, court, licensing, I’m there as a translator.

I can explain how to do something a million times but it does not click with them and I end up having to do it for them. I have to screen texts and emails lest they fall prey to scammers.

I had a breakdown finding out I have to redo a long bureaucratic process for them because they filled out a form wrong. But if I don’t do it for them, who will? I get anxiety now when they even ask me to proof read a form for them—what if I miss something? What if I do it wrong?

I’ve been at this since I was old enough to read. Im so stressed and anxious. Why am I so anxious? What does everyone else feel when having to act as your parent’s personal assistant?

How can I get them to be more self-sufficient? When they do things themselves, they mess up often due to the language barrier.

Am I ungrateful?? I think I should just suck it up and help them but for some reason I get so anxious about it. And then get so angry when I tell them how to do things and they do it all wrongs, forcing me to fix their mistakes.

I’m trying to have a life of my own but I’m always knee-deep in their problems. They’re the type who always need to be doing something, they can’t sit idle, so they’ve got their fingers in a lot of pies. So there’s always something wrong and they always need help.

It all started when I was about 20 years old and still in Uni. I was a bit of a thrill seeker and a bit of a risk taker, so naturally, I got into gambling.

I started off small, playing poker with friends and betting on sports, but before I knew it, I was betting bigger and bigger amounts.

Gambling became a source of income for me

I started to win more often than I lost, which made me believe that I had found a way to make money quickly and easily.

So, I kept gambling and kept winning. I was making a lot of money and it felt great, until one day I stopped winning and started losing.

I had dug myself into a deep financial hole and I had no way out. I had racked up thousands of dollars in gambling debts and I needed to find a way to pay them off.

Friend introduced me to the world of social escorts

That’s when I decided to become a social escort. I had heard about the industry from a friend and I figured that it was a way to make some quick money. So, I went ahead and signed up and started taking clients.

At first, it was hard and I was very nervous. I was scared of what people might think of me, but I slowly got more comfortable as time went by. I realized that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing and that it was just a way to make money.

I quickly gained a solid clientele and was making more money than I ever thought possible. I was able to pay off my gambling debts and even save up some money.

I had finally found a way to make a living that didn’t involve gambling and I was relieved.

I continued to work as a social escort for several years and it was a great way to make money. I never went back to gambling and now I’m in a much better financial position than I was before.

I still work as a social escort on occasion and it’s a great way to make some extra money.

It was a difficult journey, but I’m glad that I was able to find a way out of my gambling debts

I slept with a bigger girl, now I can’t go back

I was inspired to make this confession. Growing up, I’d always chase the ‘classic beauty’. Average height, hwp, light features. Went on dates, had relationships, it was OK but something was missing. Being a tall and heavier set guy myself I felt a bit strange.

Fast-forward to a short while back, I meet this bigger girl at a bar. She’s dressed super nice, perfume was hard to forget. She had this confidence when we were near each other that made my nerves evaporate. After a few drinks, she suggested we go back to her place which wasn’t so far away. I told her I was a bit nervous and she offered to take the lead.

We were watching a movie on Disney+, and she began to lean on me, then crawl atop me, kiss, grab, one thing to another and the movie was soon forgotten.

She blew my mind, and I can’t stop thinking about it. there’s no second date, but now I find myself having wasted so much time and effort. I’ve fallen in a rabbit hole and I don’t think I want out.

Suffice to say, I learned a lot about myself that night. And wondering if it was just her, or all curvy women, or more assertive women that did it.

Now it’s all I can think about. And I can’t go back. I don’t think I want to.

Netizens’ comments

1. Thick thighs saves lives
2. Confident, curvy, assertive women are my jam.
3. I think it was probably her assertiveness that turned you on more than anything. You didn’t mention anything you liked about her body, how they pressed against your sides. The softness of her skin, or the way she probably looks like an 1800s painting. Those are words my hubbie uses to describe my body, and why he likes bigger women.
4. I think all woman are beautiful and size shouldn’t really matter but coming from a bigger girl it’s nice to know we are appreciated and are found attractive too! X

snapping at a hair dresser because she was bombarding my family with questions about our private lives and making us feel uncomfortable?

Visited a salon with my grandmother a few days ago and we planned to both cut our hair there. My grandmother had her turn first because there were only two hair dresser aunties and one was occupied with another customer.

Some background info: I have relatively dark skin compared to my other family members because I am heavily involved in outdoor sports. Therefore I often get mistaken as my grandmother’s helper but honestly I don’t mind after all these years lol.

So unsurprisingly, the other hairdresser auntie mistook me as my grandmother’s helper and asked her if I was from Indonesia and where she hired me. My grandmother then replied that I was her granddaughter. Both the hairdresser aunties then bombarded her with many questions: Why her skin so dark? Is she from your son or daughter side? You sure she Chinese? (They conversed fully in Chinese) My grandmother, who had difficulty hearing on one ear, struggled to answer their questions one by one, and the hairdresser auntie (who was supposed to be doing my grandmother’s hair) pestered her and even tapped on her shoulder several times to get more answers out of her.

I, who was casually scrolling on my phone and minding my own business, got annoyed at the hairdressers’ questions and the way they were pestering my clearly uncomfortable grandmother. I then stood up from the waiting area and (ok ah i agree i was quite rude atp) snapped at the auntie “剪头发啦，不用问jiang多” (translate: just cut her hair la, don’t ask so many questions). The hairdresser auntie was extremely shocked and embarrassed when I snapped at her and took a while to react. My grandmother quickly responded and said to just start the haircut. As I walked back to the seats at the waiting area, the hairdresser auntie told me to not get angry and that “girls should not have such a bad temper”. The other hair dresser auntie and customer chimed in “Ya lor Ah Girl why you so rude and angry” And I got so mad LMAO. I prayed for Holy Guan Yin Ma’s powers and grace to hold my temper and I calmed myself down, ignoring what they said and opened Instagram, hoping to get myself occupied and away from their conversations.

One good thing about me is that I have very sharp hearing and good at multitasking, but its also bad because whatever the aunties were saying afterwards, I heard them clear and well. So they continued with their conversations, obviously avoiding the topic about me but occasionally adding in things to spite me. Such as saying things about how girls should always respect their elders and girls in the past will get whacked if they did anything their parents didn’t like. When the haircut was done, my grandmother asked if I wanted to do my hair as planned, but I rejected and told her that we should just leave. My grandmother did not press on further because she knew I was not in the mood for it. But of course, hair dresser auntie had to add on, “Its okay Auntie, just ignore her. Dunno why she so angry. Girls should not have bad temper.” …..ok auntie…my fault…

Firstly, I will never disrespect my grandmother in anyway, and she is my dearest family. Secondly, I admit that snapping at a stranger, or even at someone older than me is wrong, but this auntie really too much eh, why so kaypo and the questions you asked really quite rude leh… Furthermore, my grandmother was clearly placed in discomfort by your questions. I was just drawing the line clear so that the auntie will stop trying to ask more rude questions. But what made things worse was that when we reached home, my grandmother asked me “Why your temper so bad ah?”

I met my bf on a dating app because I was looking for a love marriage however my bf acts as if this is an arranged marriage.

My bf told me that his mom was trying to hook him up with girls but he wanted to find his own love so he went on a dating app. We met and throughout our relationship, my bf let’s his mom make the calls in our relationship for example;

• he promised that he would take me on vacation and his mom told him no because he hasn’t met my parents yet. He was down to take me until his mom said no.
• his mom constantly pressures me and asks me when my bf is going to meet my parents. I thought she was just pushing her own agenda on me because my bf doesn’t even ask me or talk to me about these things…. later on I find out that he resents me cuz he hasn’t met my parents yet. Point is my bf doesn’t communicate what HE wants. It’s always what his mom wants for him.
• whenever we have conflict in our relationship he goes straight to his mom as if he needs her approval/ validation/ advice
• he told me he wouldn’t marry me unless his mom approves of my family
• he sports gambles everyday but won’t stop because he doesn’t have responsibilities such as a wife or kids. You’d think if he was in love and wanted those responsibilities he would change and work towards becoming better for us. But apparently it isn’t real to him until his mom approves of my family.
• he relies on his moms approval for big decisions such as a buying a house for us. He doesn’t even bother to ask me what I think or want

In a love marriage it’s one thing to make sure that your partner gets along with your parents but it’s another to let your parents completely dictate what you can and cannot do within a relationship/ during conflicts. To me this feels like an arranged marriage.

My bf doesn’t understand my way of thinking and I can’t understand his.

He said he didn’t want an arranged marriage but it just feels like he picked his own partner out and bought her to his mother so that she could arrange his marriage for him. I don’t get how it can work both ways.

I went into this wanting a love marriage but it seems like this is more of an arranged marriage..

Can anyone help me understand his perspective..,

Has anyone encountered issue with Samsung TV servicing? My experience for the past 2 months has been horrendous.

Bought a 65in QLED 3 years ago (Mar’20). Everything was fine until 25 Dec’22 (clearly remember the day as that’s how my Christmas was ruined) when TV started having issues (screen tearing, severe ghosting and white-ish screen).

Contacted the helpline, prompt response and technician came down 3 days later to inspect my TV and informed me that my panel requires replacement, but unfortunately there’s no available stock and will have to wait for at least 1 week. After 2 weeks without any updates, I contacted the helpline again and were told that they will escalate to the relevant technical dept, after which I will be given a callback. This repeated for 1 month, with me constantly calling in and contacting via the live chat on a weekly basis with promise of callback, just to get nothing.

After a month and escalation to the ‘higher management’, they finally arranged for the panel replacement on 8 Feb’23. And guess what, exactly 1 week after the replacement, the exact same issue happened again. Contacted the helpline again and was told to provide photos of the issue.

After calling/live-chatting every other day for update, the only response I got was ‘pending update from relevant team’, without any plans to arrange for technician to inspect this time round, though they are ‘looking into things’. After 2 whole weeks, they finally called me and requested for photos of the picture test. 2 bloody weeks. And till now, my TV is still faulty and the only reply I get from both channels (helpline and live-chat) is that it’s still pending update from higher management after escalation, with no solution in sight.

Does this even make sense? At this point if they don’t have a proper solution, shouldn’t they offer a replacement unit?