My future BIL (35M) has threatened to wear a clown suit to my (34M) black-tie wedding.

Title basically says it all, but here’s some more context:

Future BIL is the ‘practical joker’ of the family. The jokes are always mean, but since he’s gotten by 35 years with nobody challenging him, they’re ‘funny’. I have not really engaged in this type of humor, and neither has my family. He follows through on his jokes to the final degree, as in, I don’t think he’s just enjoying making me sweat. I’ve never been the direct target of a joke until now, but they have ranged from “leaving a sleeping friend in a foreign country” to “pouring ice water all over his aunt”. I seriously believe he’s going to show up in a clown suit.

He is a completely neurotypical person with no issues that would make this action make sense, beyond being a self-centered jerk. If he were an autistic child who needed to wear a clown suit to go to an event, I’d have never opposed it.

Fiancee and I are having an intimate black-tie wedding with ~50 friends and family members. I have invited colleagues that I respect and care for as well. When I reached out to everyone to make sure the dress code was feasible, he wrote back that he was excited to wear a “clown suit”. I sent a funny emoji and asked if he meant “monkey suit” as a euphemism for the tuxedo (he isn’t really a formalwear kind of person) and he said nope, he meant clown suit, and sent a link to some giant shoes.

I called him and told him that if he didn’t have the right outfit, I’d gladly help offset the cost, as I know he’s in between jobs, but he got pretty huffy and told me that he could afford a clown suit just fine and was excited to party with us. We haven’t spoken since.

I asked my fiancee if we could refuse him entry if he showed up in a literal clown outfit, and she was uncomfortable with that idea because she believes that even if we did, her parents or sister would let him in because they also think it’s “funny” when he acts out.

I think that the only boundary I can assert right now is to tell him that this event has a specific dress code, and that if he showed up in something different than that dress code, I’d request that he change before attending or ask him to leave.

Having him present in a clown suit would obviously embarrass him, but it would embarrass me, my family and friends, and my fiancee. It seems like he and his parents are the only people who are amused by this idea, and it hurts my feelings that they are treating the wedding like a joke.

Fiancee believes that this is not going to work and will cause him to double down and maybe even go for the full clown makeup. Uninviting him is not an option at this point. Trying to discuss it with his parents goes nowhere.

As a last resort, I was thinking of telling any photographers or people to completely cut him out of the photos as if he’s not in attendence. It seems like he and his parents are the only people who are amused by this idea, and it hurts my feelings that they are treating the wedding like a joke.

I (f) was coming back home from school on the bus as I often do. In my stop there were plenty of seats available, I pick one in the back of the bus.

A few stops after a pregnant woman got in, she ignored the first seats (which are the priority seats) and came up to me and asked if I could give her the seat.

At the time the bus was crowded enough to not be any seats available. I told her no because I was tired and wanted to sit down.

She mumbled that I was an a-hole and said she’s 8 months pregnant, I told her I don’t care for that and that the priority seats are in the front of the bus.

Somebody else gave her a seat in the background but still made me feel kinda like an a-hole. I think I’m entitled to the seat if I got in before.

But I also don’t know if the people in the priority seats were people who really needed it so that woman couldn’t have asked them to give it to her.

Edit: every single seat was taken, I told her to go get one of those seats since people who don’t need them takes them anyway when the bus is crowded.

Also lots of people don’t want to sit in the front and would ask for a seat at the back near the door even though they’re entitled to the priority seats.

Netizens’ comments

1. I find it kind of disappointing that an 8 month pregnant woman had to ask for a seat.
2. So here’s the thing, you don’t have to give up a seat for a heavily pregnant person. It’s the kind, considerate, understanding and sympathetic thing to do and if you don’t don’t do it, then you are exactly what you think you are. 
3. It is disappointing what the world is coming to. Pregnant women act “entitled” now because of their “choice”. That’s where we are? What has happened to common courtesy and decency?

For the men throwing shade at the pregnant lady, may this never happen to your wife. To the women, may this never happen to you.

For the OP, it doesn’t take a lot to be decent to others. What was a minor inconvenience to you was not only a lot more for a woman that far along in pregnancy, but also potentially dangerous. If your comfort was that important, I do hope you had some then.

This old man will stand without being asked. Because my momma didn’t raise me to do any different than that.

My friend and I went out to the bar last night and he started talking about how his girlfriend was not wanting to have relations with him anymore.

I asked him why and he said that it was because of the way she was treating him. I told him that he should talk to her about it but he said that it was too late and he was done trying to make it work.

He then suggested that we go to Geylang for some fun

That’s when he suggested that we go and find ‘chicken’ instead. I was completely shocked. I mean, I knew my friend was feeling a bit frustrated in the relationship but I never expected him to suggest something like that.

He said that it was just a one time thing and that he just wanted to try something new.

So we drove to Geylang to look for ‘chicken’ and eventually wounded up in one of the houses in the lorongs.

He went up to the OKT and started asking for the price while I stood there. I had tried to convince him to consider his relationship first but he put my words into deaf ears.

After a few minutes, he told me that he was going to pick one of the girls and if I did not want to, I should just go back to the bar to wait for him.

He said that he would be back when he was done. I agreed as I did not want to be seen there and drove back to the bar.

When he came back, he was acting strange and wouldn’t talk to me. I asked him what had happened and he just said that it was a mistake and that he was never going to do it again.

His gf found out about it and dumped him

The next day, he told me that his girlfriend had found out about it and dumped him. I was so mad at him for what he had done. He had put his relationship in danger and it had all been for nothing.

My friend went out to find ‘chicken’ because he thought it would make him feel better, but it ended up ruining his relationship and making things worse.

Image source: Google Maps

I’m stuck in between my mum and my wife, and I don’t know what to do.

For no particular reason, my wife was slapped by my mum

It all started last night when my wife and I were visiting my mum for dinner. We had a nice evening and were about to leave when my mum suddenly slapped my wife in the face for no reason.

I was absolutely shocked and couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed.

My wife was understandably angry and demanded an explanation, but my mum refused to answer. She just kept repeating that she had done nothing wrong and that it was all my wife’s fault.

I tried to calm the situation down, but it was too late. My wife was already livid and demanded that we leave right away. I had no choice but to comply.

On the way home, my wife was furious and accused me of taking my mum’s side. I tried to explain to her that I was just as shocked and confused as she was, but she wouldn’t listen.

We ended up arguing all night and eventually, I just gave up and said she could do whatever she wanted.

Mum refused to answer why, just said it was my wife’s fault

The next morning, I called my mum and asked her why she had slapped my wife. She again refused to answer and said it was none of my business. All she said was that it was the fault of my wife.

I was hurt and frustrated, but I didn’t know what else to do.

My wife and I have been avoiding each other ever since. I feel like I’m stuck in between them and I don’t know how to fix this. I’m scared that if I take sides, the other will never forgive me.

I’m struggling to find a way out of this mess. It’s a horrible situation and I don’t know how to resolve it. All I can do is hope that one day, my wife and my mum will make peace and I can finally move on with my life.