My mum has been playing the victim for as long as she could.

For context, I’m already 21. I have a lot of disputes with her since i was 15.

i was ra**** at 15 and all she ever cared was “You better clean up yourself. I don’t want to see you in a dirty manner ” in chinese. She went telling my auntie how “dirty” i was and everyone in the family looked at me differently since then. When she had a bad day at work, she would rant at me and i became the “anger management toy” for her.

She would kick and slap whenever she felt unhappy and when she is done, she act nothing happened and still had the cheek to ask if i was ok. When i ranted to my auntie, she sided my mum and told me how i could have acted differently. Last year,it turned out for the worst.

I went on a 3D2N staycation with my bf as it was our anniversary and my bf surprised me with it. She got so unhappy with it and threatened she would jump down. She called the hotel by pretending she was someone sending for “delivery” and asked under whose booking is this. I had enough of her nonsense so i stayed at my bf hse for a couple of months. She won’t stop texting and calling and then calling my bf mum. I went home afterwards hoping to talk, but she slapped and kicked again till my face bled.

I left home afterwards and vowed to never her again. When i left house, many things rose again. She started playing the victim and calling my auntie and everyone else. So then everyone else called me hoping i would head back talk to my mum once again. I then known from a close friend that actually had cheated on my father throughout my 21 years of my life but my father chose not to say anything to protect the marriage.

How do i stop from this shit happening. It’s been so tiring.

I’m deeply troubled by the hint of xenophobia inside. The supportive comments below that post and number of likes makes me wonder if Singapore is actually a welcoming place to foreigners.

A short introduction about me. I’m a year 3 EE student. I’m from another Asian nation, took the tuition grant too and have to work in Singapore after graduation.

I’m deeply grateful to the Singapore government for offering me this opportunity. My home country does not have good universities and it has been my dream to study abroad in a good university especially one as good as NUS. I remembered being extremely overjoyed when I was accepted to NUS with this grant as my family would not have afforded to pay the full fees otherwise.

I still have some time before graduation but I can understand the stress that other students are facing.

Singaporeans have it relatively easy to enter NUS. For outsiders like me, we have to top our high schools, brush up our English to get good scores for IELTS or TOEFL to even have a remote chance of getting in. After we get offered, it’s a big change for us to move to a foreign land, study a degree that is not our first language with no family support.

With this additional stress for us to find a job after we graduate if not we have to fork out huge damages, in a job market that is stacked against us, I can understand OP is frustrated and fearful. We should be more emphatatic.

The minimum we ask for is a fair chance to consider us. We are people seeking a better life just like you. If SGP government didn’t think we can add value to the Singapore economy, we would not have been offered the TFG.

Here are what netizens think:

• You’re a joke. You go to a foreign country and ask for a fair chance with their citizens? Did you give your peers a fair chance when you came here without them? Did you consider the spot you took from a local before you sprout fair chance?

• You should cast yr net wider. Even the field you have the least interest in. Malaysians are working professionals here. My neighbours from mynmar China and India are professionals too and skilled workers. Its up to the Companies and business establishment to pick you as their employee. Since you’re going to be a graduate soon with no working experience lower yr expectation. You’re competing not only with local graduates but with othe applicants in the region. Currebtly I read the local graduates take more than 6 months to find a job . You might be longer. Do you need to feel sorry for yrself? Of course not. Young people don’t give up too soon . They fight tooth and nail

• Go back la

Due to current layoffs in tech, I am afraid I’ll get fired at work, so I am thinking how I should prepare for it. I was always a ‘C’ student in school.

Fortunately, I managed to get a decent job during COVID and have been working for 2 years. However, I feel that I didn’t learn much that would be useful in other tech companies (I am a swe but every day I only write small proprietary scripts for automation and prepare report data in excel).

I am okay with the current job but what if I am fired, what should I do? I try to pick up some online courses to stay up to date with the tech trends.

However, I feel that I cannot compare to AAA/A CS graduates, plus an excellent pool of recent layoffs from big tech companies.

Tech layoffs

The news of tech layoffs has been a big shock for me. I’ve been working in the tech industry for the past 2 years and have been loyal to my company, so I never expected to be in a situation where I could get laid off. It’s something that I’m not prepared for, and I’m afraid of the uncertainty that comes with it.

I’ve heard stories of people who have been laid off despite their hard work and dedication, and it scares me to think that I could be one of them. I know that my company is in a good financial position, but I can’t help but worry that I’m not going to be safe. It’s a feeling of helplessness that I can’t shake, and it’s making me anxious.

I’m trying to stay positive and focus on my work, but I can’t help but feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I’m constantly checking my emails and making sure I’m doing everything I possibly can to make sure I don’t get laid off. I’m also trying to save money in case I do get laid off, so I can have some cushion until I find a new job.

At the same time, I’m trying to stay focused on the present and not get too caught up in the fear of the future. I’m trying to stay productive and make sure I’m putting my best foot forward at work. I’m also trying to network as much as possible, so if the worst happens I can hopefully get back on my feet quickly.

I know that tech layoffs are a reality in the industry, and I’m trying to be prepared for the worst. I’m trying to stay positive and focus on the tasks at hand rather than worry about what might happen in the future. I know that I can’t control the situation, but I’m doing everything I can to make sure I’m as prepared as possible if I do get laid off.

When I was younger, I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. The girls in my class always seemed to be drawn to the more handsome guys, and I couldn’t seem to make any conversation with them, let alone make them laugh.

I was always too shy to make any jokes or try to be funny, because I was afraid of being judged as a pervert.

It wasn’t until I got to poly that I realized how unfair this double standard was.

I noticed that the more handsome guys in my classes would frequently tell dirty jokes and make crude comments, and for the most part, everyone seemed to find them funny. But if I, as an “ugly guy,” tried to do the same, I was immediately judged as a pervert.

This double standard has been especially apparent in the dating world. I’ve seen handsome guys make sexual innuendos and tell dirty jokes to women and be rewarded with laughter and dates. But if I tried to do the same, it was seen as creepy and uncomfortable. It’s like the world has decided that only good-looking guys are allowed to make sexual jokes, and that the rest of us should remain silent.

This isn’t just unfair, it’s also a bit hypocritical. After all, the same people who judge ugly guys for making dirty jokes often engage in the same behavior themselves. It’s like they’re saying that dirty jokes are okay when they or someone they find attractive makes them, but not okay when someone they don’t find attractive makes them.

I understand that there are certain social norms that need to be respected and that there is a time and a place for dirty jokes. But it’s not fair for the world to judge ugly guys for making them while rewarding handsome guys for doing the same. We all should be allowed to make jokes without fear of being judged or labeled as perverts.

At the end of the day, we’re all human. We all have the same wants, needs, and desires, and we should all be allowed to express ourselves without fear of judgment. We should be able to make jokes and have conversations without worrying about what others will think of us.

Whether you’re an ugly guy or a handsome guy, you should be able to make jokes and express yourself freely without fear of judgment.

I am feeling very troubled.

Whenever my clique and I are eating out, there is always someone in the group who always have less than $10 in her bank account and cash altogether (we are all in our 20s).

However, she will still always suggest we have meals together, and during payment, she would look to any of us to help her pay her share as she does not have enough. I would always end up being the soft one who will pay for the meals or drinks that she ordered.

It is not the first time, and I am sure it will not be the last either. I am not sure what to do, as I do not want to be deemed as the stingy one since a meal only costs less than $10.

I am also not sure if is it because she knows I will always pay for her, and she always does not even have more than $5 in her bank whenever we are ready for payment at the counter.

Please advise me on what to do as I do not want to lose a friendship over money.

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s understandable that you feel troubled by this situation. However, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself and your finances so that you don’t end up feeling taken advantage of.

• Have an honest conversation with your friend: Let her know that you are happy to spend time with her, but you are feeling uncomfortable paying for her meals every time you go out. It’s possible that she is not aware of how her actions are affecting you and may be willing to make adjustments.

• Darling. Just ask straight to the face. If it’s too often, everyone will eventually get sick of it. Ask straight and ask openly.

• Like you said, it’s only $10. You just need to decide whether this friendship is worth more than $10? Or you can just find excuses to avoid eating out with her if it really bothers you? There are actually simple answers to many problems in life. Cheers.

I’m a single guy in my early 30s. I spent 10 years slaving at my business and amassed low eight-figure savings. I’ve dated numerous girls in their late twenties over the past year, none of whom I was able to go exclusive with.

8 Figure not enough

Quick tip for guys like me who are still cursing their singlehood – it’s not about money. Well, not unless you blatantly flaunt them. It’s not time either. I’m semi-retired and poured all my time and effort into the relationships, which naturally backfired because they have their own life which comprises 80% of work.

Majority of it is about our personality and luck (in finding someone compatible, even if we have a toxic personality). So * our life. * Singapore’s historically low fertility rate of 1.05.

Just here to vent and not to get a solution. I mean, many has read all the books in the world about how to be a better and more likeable human.

Here are what netizens think:

• Cb! 8 figure is tens of million leh u counted the 2 decimal point in your balance sibo? Niama if not including the decimal then wat u do de ah? Knn u bookie do 4d toto horse betting soccer ah

• FTX toh liao la. LOL if ftx then it would be 8 fig debts not savings liao

• You are not alone. I am not lucky too

• You are early 30s n only do biz ten years n u amassed low eight figures savings? What u do btw?

• Flaunting one’s wealth just to attract girls also sounds like a bad idea though.

• Agreed, in the long run it is a bad idea. You are most likely going to attract materialistic women who are only interested in your money.

• U got the time and luck portion right for sure.