My(M35) wife(F27) can’t be intimate with me due to the smell of cigarettes.

My wife is 6 months pregnant and recently because extremely sensitive to the smell of cigarettes, vanilla, and vinegar.

I would say that this started happening 3 weeks ago, and since I smoke, we haven’t been intimate that whole time, that includes kissing. Sure, a small peck on the cheek is okay, but actually kissing her is a no way.

I’ve become very good at masking the smell over the years, but damn, pregnancy noses really sense everything.

We even tried this thing where I just don’t smoke and I washed all the clothes I was wearing, but nope, didn’t work. She really, really can’t stand these 3 smells & it really beats her up.

My daughter is a baker but hasn’t baked for the past 2 weeks because my wife can’t stand the smell. Wondering if we should find loopholes or should we just not be intimate until this passes.

edit: lots of you are telling me to quit. i’ve literally mentioned that i’m not smoking at the moment and haven’t been since this thing started.

Netizens’ comments

My brother and his wife had a similar issue a couple of years ago. He ended up having to get new clothes, a haircut, his car cleaned, and his teeth cleaned before she couldn’t smell it anymore.

Cigarette smoke sticks to everything and it sticks for a very very long time. Even if you wash clothes that you wore while smoking, they’re still going to vaguely smell like the smoke. You might need to get new clothes or try having yours dry cleaned or steam cleaned.

Another thing that might help is going to the dentist and having your teeth cleaned. The tar sticks to your teeth and stains them. The stains can cause your breath and mouth to smell like cigarettes even if you haven’t been smoking.

If you haven’t quit for very long, you may just need to wait longer until you no longer smell like it. But you will have to give up the habit for at least as long as she’s pregnant, really you should give it up entirely for the sake of your baby.

How do I find a job with a 3 month notice period?

Basically, due to desperation I have accepted a job that have a 3 month notice period. I tried to negotiate it down but it didn’t work.

Now, I am thinking of getting a new job but I realised that recruiters will not entertain me after I told them that my notice period is 3 months.

What options do I have here if I do not want to resign without getting an offer?

I read the contract and it said that I can pay salary in lieu if I don’t serve the notice period; does this means that I can just pay up and go off, or is it possible that they refuse to accept it and I am forced to serve the 3 months?

Thanks all for reading.

Netizens’ comments

Your options are:

Pay up in full or in part. If u pay up 3 months of salary u can leave the next day. If u pay up 2 months u have to serve 1 more mth at the current place.

Use leave to offset your notice period but how many leave u have only?

Ask other side to buy u out.

I faced this when job hunting in 2021 when my notice period was unofficially changed to 2 mths via email without my consent. Regretted not pursueing. But after i got turned down by new prospective employer when i told them 2 mths notice i decided i was going to say 1mth going forward. I would then use leave and pay in lieu of the remaining mth.

But i have to say 3mths for non managerial role is a trap.

My [28M] girlfriend [27F] cheated on me, got pregnant and had an abortion. What now?

I have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 6 years. I had been planning to ask her to marry me later this year. From my perspective, everything has been stable and loving in our relationship.

However, over the last few months, I’ve noticed that she became super secretive about her phone- and I finally got up the nerve to look through it.

Well, what I found absolutely stunned me. She seems to have developed a deep, lasting relationship with another man. Their texts range from the mundane to the sorts of fantasies they are acting out together. There are texts planning their next bedroom escapades, him asking her when I’m leaving for the day (we don’t live together) and so on.

Believe me or not, it gets worse. As I scrolled through their conversation, I found that she got pregnant by this man. There were texts about how the pregnancy is making her feel, and a screenshot of a doctor’s appointment.

I’m stunned beyond all words. My legs became weak reading this information, and I still can’t quite process it. She seems absolutely and completely normal towards me- if anything more loving than in years past. I can’t reconcile what I’m seeing in our relationship with the woman I can read about in the text messages.

I also love her very much. I’m crushed. And I have no idea how to even approach the topic with her. This is the woman I thought I’d grow old with.

So, I’m asking for advice. Do I throw away the 6 years we have? Do I try and salvage this situation? Please forgive me if this sounds ridiculous, I don’t even know what I SHOULD be asking right now. My head is absolutely spinning. Thanks for reading and for any advice you might have.

Hey K(baobao).. it’s been a year since I matched you on the app one fateful night and met you up within days of chatting for ice cream.

It was not the usual me to do so but I did it. We clicked instantaneously (at least it seemed so) and the few 2-3 months were full of happy daily texts and occasional dates.

Things went downhill subsequently because you had too many partners (took me too long to realise) to manage and whatever I was asking for as a date always seem to be too much of an expectation.

It’s been a year and I’m still very much left heartbroken, but yet I still think of you and miss you every single day.

I wanted you back despite being hurt many times and how you made me feel so worthless at times.

I wonder if you will ever get to read this but I just want to tell you that the silly ygf still wants you badly, and as long as you’re willing to change and be honest, I’ll always be there for you.

Here are what netizens think:

• Well, I do believe ppl will change somehow, but the risk you’re taking is udk when? and whether will it be? So instead of taking the risk, why not just remain single..there’re a lot of guys out there and you’ll never know who will come along and bring u more surprises never settle for less because life is too short, if the other partner can’t offer you some extra happiness than being single but just heart breaking and sadness, then why are u still cling into it? It’s hard to let go, because u haven’t met the right one. Be smart on your next rs

• it’s time to stop crying over men. there’s lines of men waiting for you once you’re done with the toxic child who treats you horrible and gives you the absolute bare minimum. step into your femme fatale era and begin attracting men who worship the ground that you walk on.

• Situationship – Let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused on the fact that we’re not together but have official emotions for each other

• Just because someone keeps u around doesn’t mean they value you. You could be for fun, time wastage, healing or recovery. Know ur place in people’s life

It all started as a simple romantic gesture. I wanted to surprise my girlfriend with something special for her birthday. After some thought, I decided on buying her a bra. I was sure she would love it.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Does not like it because it is too ‘ah ma’ style

When I presented her with the bra, she was visibly unimpressed. Her face fell as soon as she saw the design. I had chosen an old-fashioned style which what people would call it as ‘ah ma’ bra, but clearly, it wasn’t her taste.

She thanked me politely but I could tell she wasn’t happy.

I was crushed. I had put so much effort into choosing the right gift, and now it had all gone to waste. I was embarrassed and angry at myself for not being able to pick something she actually liked. I wanted to make her happy, but it seemed like I had failed.

To make matters worse, my girlfriend was too polite to tell me what was wrong. She politely insisted that she liked the bra, but I could tell she was just being kind.

I was starting to feel increasingly frustrated and embarrassed.

Decided to go back to the shop and change it, but no more stock for her size

The next day, I decided to take the bra back and get her something of another design. I was sure that I would be able to find something she would love.

But when I went to the store, I found that the same style of bra was out of stock for her size.

I was devastated. I had failed yet again. I had wasted my time and money, and I felt like a fool. I had thought that this was the perfect gift for my girlfriend and now it had all gone wrong.

I returned home empty-handed and ashamed.