Are PHV drivers really reluctant to cancel assigned jobs?

Putting this up as a question to really try to understand the other perspective.

Book a ride via Gojek today, driver immediately messaged me to say he can’t do the ride cos he needed a lunch break. I thought fine, if you don’t want the job then cancel it so I can try to book another ride.

Driver did not respond to my text via app and also refused to pick up when I called him twice.

Subsequently I got frustrated and texted to say I will cancel but said I will feedback to the service centre.

The guy IMMEDIATELY replied, asked me to go ahead and proceeded to insult me (no vulgarities but the sort that implies my parents did not do a proper job in bringing me). Totally uncalled for.

For those who also work as PHV gig workers, can understand from your perspectives?

Is the cost of cancellation on driver’s part so high that you need to start insulting another human being?

I’m sure he could guess that such action was never gona end well.. but still decided to act like a d!ck. This really baffles me.

How do I ask my wife of 31 years that I want a divorce because of an affair she had 11 years ago (56m) (51f)

My wife fell in love with her trainer and had an affair 11 years ago. I caught her on Facebook messenger and after the usual denial she came clean with all the details.

A lot of texting and emails. I was able to retrieve them-which showed her to be the aggressor. In the short time she said they had one encounter with him performing oral on her she says she didn’t reciprocate, it was only the one time.

Highly suspect and I didn’t believe her. I made her take a lie detector test which she passed but non conclusive. As per my Dr’s recommendation I had her get an STD and hepatitis test which I did as well and all were negative. I was thinking about having the kids tested to see if they are all mine, but I’m not ready for that.

Fast forward 11 years and she has been an excellent wife very regretful (I believe this was a one time mistake but who knows), went to counselling, communicates ok. and I have not been the best (triggers along the way). My intentions was to make the relationship work but after about three years I knew I couldn’t get over the affair.

I stayed for our kids who were all young but have now grown up. I didn’t want to fight with a new father figure in my kids life so I held on. The problem is I can’t get over the affair and the fact that they were both married with children.

Based on my wife’s personality, If I didn’t catch them this would have been a very long term affair. Because of this I am unable to build the same connection (bonding)with my wife. My perception of her has changed and I’m unable to connect with her on a deep trusting level.

The fact that she fell in love and communicated like I would have liked to be communicated to is also a deciding factor. I must admit that I’m a little jealous of the communication that the trainer received from my wife, something in the 31 years of marriage I have never received.

When I specifically asked her on this she told me “it was school girl stuff and that I shouldn’t read into it” and that it “took a lot of energy”. Call me old fashion, but validating and reenforcing the importance of your new affair partner is to your life and happiness is something that should be reserved for your spouse.

Before the affair she was non communicative and just a very cold person. I know it takes two for a marriage and after the affair we have done counselling together and separate, but I didn’t have the affair she did.

I did try to talk to her about our marriage long before it happened and actually confronted her about the trainer two weeks before the indiscretions but she decided to fast track it and make the choice to meet up and sleep with him.

My question is; I have been straight with her from the third year of resuming our relationship and told her this is temporary and at the end of the day we will be getting divorced and she needs to prepare herself.

She has separate credit cards and bank accounts now, which I had to push her to get. The issue I have is when I talk about divorce she gets hysterical and has trouble breathing which frighten’s me.

The last time I thought I was going to have to seriously call an ambulance. How would you break it to her as it’s been about a year since I last brought it up and our relationship is actually going great but I have to move on for my own well being (resentful, not trusting, not wanting to be married etc.)

I was thinking about asking her for a separation (no contact) first. Which might soften the realization that the relationship is over and then file for divorce.

Alternatively, I could file and get the papers served on her and don’t say anything (which I don’t think is fair) but she literally has trouble breathing when I talk about divorce. Any constructive advice or other options would be appreciated.

would you pursue intimate relations with an older co-worker?

i (25f) got a very good-looking colleague, who i got great banter with. we get along pretty well and i was the first person he told that his ex gf broke up with him.

we’ve been flirting for a while now and one day it got so steamy that i thought we were gonna take off our clothes and do it right on the counter lol (but didn’t since it would be unprofessional).

the only thing which could potentially be off-throwing is the age gap between us… there’s such chemistry between us, even though he’s 40yo, but he looks much younger and has the vody of a 27yo tbh

Netizens’ comments

1. My male perspective was I was 26 with a 52 fwb. Amazing. Taught me some tricks. Had a great time.
   Only problem, we worked together. It was fun for a while but then it got weird. I had to find a new job.
   So, there’s that option.
2. Why ask for advice but then shut down the advice? You obviously have your mind set and ready.. just go for it.
3. Fine if you don’t care about the job! It is not going to be pretty in the office if things end badly.
4. As with any potential relationship with a co-worker, I’d say, one of you should quit the job then start hooking up/dating. Not only for ethics, but it can be horrible to engage in such things at work, for many reasons.
5. Between the age gap and working relationship, no, I personally wouldn’t. Been there, done that- three times. I’m a slow learner, but I would never do it again after those experiences.

my dad told my husband to make sure get rid of evidence of cheating

Found out my husband cheated on me online and I was crying and shouting and my dad told my husband that next time he cheats, make sure he deletes evidence and be careful. (?!?!?!?!?)

He is a serial cheater himself.

My mum has suffered enough and I can not believe that’s what he told my husband . My mum on the other hand, thinks that I should forgive my husband and not fight with him because his one year of online cheating is only online.

What kind of parents does this???????

EDIT: MIL also told me that what his son did was just like looking through a sexy magazine.

Another edit: How was it online cheating? He was on multiple dating apps and websites, had video calls where he touched himself and talked to women, had a different instagram and saved a lot of screenshots of dating profiles, photos conversations and video calls, etc.

this is the start of my villain arc

I was born into poverty in a small family. I had no parents or family to take care of me, so I had to fend for myself.

I was determined to make something of myself and, when I was old enough, I decided to go to the local temple in search of a job.

I was welcomed warmly by the local priest and he gave me a job as a “medium”, somebody who would communicate with the gods and spirits. I was so excited and thought that this was my destiny. I was finally able to make something of myself and I was sure that I was going to be successful in this new role.

Little did I know what was in store for me. As soon as I started working, I was treated worse than a dog. I was given the worst jobs, the most menial tasks, and never received any recognition or appreciation. I was expected to work long hours and was never given any food or rest.

I was constantly scolded and chastised for the slightest mistakes or for not working fast enough.

I was so desperate to make something of myself that I continued to work, despite the abuse. I thought that if I just worked harder, I would eventually be rewarded for my efforts. But nothing changed.

My situation got even worse when I started hearing rumours about the temple. People were saying that the priests were using me as a medium to make money. They were using me to contact the gods and spirits and make prophecies that people would pay for. They were exploiting me and using me for their own gain.

I was determined to get out of this situation, but I had no one to turn to. I was afraid and alone and had nowhere to go. I was too scared to speak out and I felt like I had no choice but to continue to suffer in silence.

Eventually, I decided to leave the temple. I knew that it was not the life I was meant to live and I was determined to make something of myself. I decided to start a small business selling goods at the local market.