Is it better to wipe out our CPF when purchasing our first resale flat or keep our CPF to earn interest?

I’m taking out a bank loan with my partner for our first resale HDB house. This alone is going to need a 5% downpayment in cash. I would assume it’s always better to conserve as much cash as I possibly can.

Sometime back, an agent suggested that I don’t wipe out my CPF when purchasing my first flat. Instead, after paying all the necessary down payments and fees through CPF, I should keep my remaining OA balance and let the interest roll. To service the bank loan, I will only pay it with 100% of my monthly CPF contribution along with additional cash depending on my comfort. I can choose not to add any cash at all if I don’t mind it taking longer. After a number of years, when the CPF has accumulated enough to pay off the remaining balance of the loan, I will pay a lump sum from my CPF to the bank to clear off the debt.

The idea behind this is that I ought to let the interest on my CPF funds compound. If I had wiped out my CPF OA, not only do I not benefit from the 2.5% interest in my OA account, I will also have to pay back that interest to CPF when I sell the flat. Therefore, by maintaining my CPF OA, I am technically earning interest that will go toward paying off my debt in the long run.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of it. I recall seeing similar ideas on some YouTube videos. However, by doing so, I will have to take out a significantly larger loan than if I had wiped out my CPF. The total final interest for the debt might easily be 50% or more of the principal in the end should the interest rate remain at the current level or only slightly lower!

I did some very naive calculations, and I couldn’t see how this would work out better unless interest rates go below 1%. But 2023, and maybe 2024, is already looking at 4-5% loan rates. It will take at least 16 years for my CPF to collect enough interest to cover a larger loan, which is a long time for many things to happen. Moreover, after I initiated the lump sum payment from my CPF to the bank, wouldn’t I start incurring interest with CPF that I will still have to pay back when I sell the flat? I’m not sure whether I’m missing something here.

Is this really a good idea in today’s market? Has anyone accomplished something similar? What should I think about?

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My ex divorced me and now wants to be together again after 4 years

I’m 46f, and my ex-husband is 45. We were married at 26. Right before we got married, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter who’s now 21 years old. I loved both of them dearly, and we’ve been a happy family for about 16 years before everything went down.

Our only problem was my ex’s mother. She always had a strong dislike for me. She never thought I was good enough for her baby boy. We had many fights, and my ex cut contact with her after the wedding when she tried wearing white to it.

We had many encounters with her years after that. Sending us gifts for my daughter and purposely trying to get us to contact her again to seeing her outside our house.

4 years ago, I got home from work to see my ex and his mom together on the couch. My ex was on the verge of tears, yelling and calling me a cheater. I tried to explain I didn’t, but his mother supposedly had proof. Saying she saw me with another man out in a restaurant together.

I’m very faithful and loyal, but he refused to hear me out. We got into a big argument before he packed up and left to stay with his mother. When my daughter got home from a friend’s house, she too started to blame me when she found out from her dad. She went to live with her dad while he sent out divorce papers.

It took about a year before it was finalized. He got custody of her, and I was granted visitation rights, but she never wanted to see me.

It took a long time to move on. I sought therapy and fell into a huge depression. I knew my ex’s mother made it up to tear us apart. I can’t believe he listened to her so carelessly. I don’t blame my daughter, but it still hurts.

I moved out of to allow my ex and my daughter to live there. I moved to a small home. It’s been 4 years, and I started to finally be happy again. I made new friends. We had so much fun and I got a promotion at work. I still missed my family. My daughter, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

My two days ago, my daughter called me. It’s been 4 years since I’ve last seen or heard from her. She said that my ex’s mother admitted to lying. She said that my ex got a new girlfriend and his mother was furious, claiming he shouldn’t have one after all the trouble she did to get rid of me. They got into a heated fight before he kicked his mom out. I nearly wanted to cry. I thought she would never admit it, and now I’m hearing my daughter. She asked to meet up and apologized so many times. I told her we could meet tomorrow.

Yesterday, I met her at a restaurant, but she brought along my ex. Something she never mentioned, nor have I agreed upon. He was apologizing, saying how much he missed me and that he dumped his girlfriend. He wanted us to be together again. I excused myself and left them there. I got back home to lots of phone calls from my daughter and text messages from her. She wanted us to talk, and she called me an a-hole for leaving. I told her I wasn’t comfortable and that she needed to understand. I had to mute my phone and put it down for a bit.

I haven’t responded yet, and I’m not sure what to do. I love her, but I can’t talk to her with him there. Not yet anyways. It feels so fast. I wanted to do it one on one. I’m deeply hurt and crying as I’m typing this. I don’t know what to do.

My dad accidently found out Im the bottom of my relationship and is now distant a weird

I (19m) came out to my parents when I was 16. My parents were very supportive and made sure I knew that they still loved me and that I have their support.

I recently decided to introduce my boyfriend (22m) of a year to them, so we organised a dinner.

Once they met him they seemed a bit surprised. I pass as straight and I think they thought that I would be the more masculine one in a relationship and would date someone more fem, they probably also have the notion in their head that straight passing people couldn’t possibly be a bottom .

So I think they were quite surprised I brought home the masculine behemoth that is my boyfriend lol.

The visit was awkward and uncomfortable so understandably my boyfriend was nervous and in that nervousness, when my dad asked “how do you take your steak” my bf made a nervous joke and said “I dont take it, he does” while pointing to me and laughing nervously.

After that they definitely figured it out if they hadn’t already.

Ever since then my dad has been kind of distant and a bit weird. All i get are a few words out of him if i try and talk to him. Maybe im just imagining that this is the reason but i cant help but think it is since it all started after that. Idk what to do or how to feel. I thought i had my dads support but im second guessing that now.

Me (26f) and my husband (33m) have been married for a little over a year. Prior to getting married we lived together for 6 years.

As soon as we got married my husband’s whole personality changed. He went from someone who was caring and supportive to someone who just wanted to control me.

The worst thing about him is his fantasies. He’s said to me I don’t know how many times in the last year that I’m not enough for him. This is why:

1. He wants me to sleep around with other men while he watches, which i outrightly rejected.
2. He insists on me doing ana| constantly and then fights with me because I won’t cry during it. I enjoy it sometimes and other times it’s just uncomfortable or annoying. He says that all of his exes have screamed and cried during it so I should too. (I’ve actually cut an onion and kept it hidden under my breast to force myself to cry so he won’t argue with me).
3. He wants me to pretend to get raped while he watches because he wants me to prove my love for him.

After finding out all of this about him I feel like I married a complete stranger and a psychopath. I do not love him anymore.

I can’t file for divorce because I do not have an income since he won’t allow me to work. I have no family that will take me in. I’m really stuck.

Me (23F) and my bf (24M) have been together for almost 3 years now and we live together.

My bosoms are not non-existent but they are small and I don’t expect them to become any bigger anymore. I have had my struggles with my self-esteem regarding this but I have manged to almost overcome the fact that most people won’t like their size.

My bf has been with average to large-chested girls until me. He likes them big but he has never complained of mine, he gives them attention, finds them hot and so on. However, I know that he doesn’t like them. He only accepts and loves them because they are on me and he loves me.

Last night he asked if I had ever taken anything for my bosoms. I have tried some natural vitamins to try and grow them just a little bit but they did not help. He then said why don’t you try hormones. I said that it will take some tests and time till I get prescribed the right ones and even then they may grow a little but it they will not become double D’s. I said that there are quite a few risks with hormonal therapy even if it is prescribed by a doctor. He said that I should try it.

He knows that I have been struggling for so long with my self-esteem regarding this and that I have decided to just accept them instead of trying to grow them. I understand that he loves bigger girls and bigger chests but why can’t I just be the way I am? I have proposed an open relationship numerous times for the exact same reason – so he can be with women that fit his perfect standards because I do not but he refuses to try this (I have been in an open relationship before so I don’t have any problem with that).

I want to talk to my doctor and only go through with this if me and my doctor decide to because I would also love bigger ones but I feel offended and saddened by this and I am really not sure if I am being reasonable.

I (F28) used to have a great relationship with my husband (M29). We got along well, had several common interests, etc.

However, our relationship began to take a turn over the last year after he started streaming video games on Twitch.

At first it was just a hobby for him, but soon he began to get consumed by streaming. For example, while at first he’d only stream a couple days a week for a few hours at a time, around late November he began spending nearly every minute he wasn’t at work streaming (he doesn’t stream for money).

During this time, we also stopped spending nearly as much time together and our relationship predictably deteriorated. I tried talking to him multiple times about how I felt about how little time he was spending with me and finding alternative hobbies, but they all fell on deaf ears and nothing significant changed.

Last week, my husband told me he was sick and that he needed to take a few days to recover. I asked if he wanted me to stay back from a short business trip I was going on to take care of him, but he told me it wasn’t necessary.

Something about his tone didn’t sit right with me, so on a hunch I installed a small camera in his gaming room that’d allow me to see into it.

Sure enough, he’d spent every waking minute while I was gone gaming. When I came back, I was furious with him and decided to take a drastic move to fix his problem. When he went for work the next day, I sold his gaming setup and waited for him to get back.

After he got back, he immediately saw that his setup was gone and realized what I did. He started yelling at me for taking away his only hobby, and I responded by calling him an addict who only cared about his streaming, pointing out all the times he’d neglected me in favor of gaming and telling him that I knew he’d blown off work to stream.

We argued for a little while more, and then I gave him an ultimatum – I told him where I’d sold his setup and that there was a 48 hour return policy, so he could go get it. However, that would necessitate moving out, as I wouldn’t stay with him unless he got help for his habit. Long story short, he got his gaming setup then went to stay with a friend.

I [29M] found male underwear in my Girlfriends [27F] laundry

So, after bringing home our clothes from the laundry, I found a pair of men’s underwear in the clothes. They aren’t mine, as they are smaller than what I wear (a size down).

For clarity, we put our dirty clothes in separate piles, so the underwear came from hers. There was no one else in the laundry when I was there, so I couldn’t have brought them home.

At first she didn’t know who’s they were, but then claimed to be her brother in laws. She says that she must have accidently brought them home with her when she did laundry at her sisters house (she does this sometimes).

Okay, fine. However, when I tell her I would ask him/bring them to him (him and her sister live about 3 minutes away), she is vehemently against it.

Say I should just trust her and that its embarrassing for her to have her family involved. That makes me want to ask him even more.

We have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years. I know if I ask (whether it’s his or not) it’s going to be a pretty huge problem, one she claimed she We can’t come back from. However, I feel like this is the easiest to put this situation to rest.

What should I do? What would you do if this happened to you and your significant other?

Is S so important to men?

Too all the men out there, is S so important to men?

It happened since my kids are in the kindergarten/primary school. They are young adults now.

Who can guess the reason for his cheating?

Yes! Reason was not enough S!

I am a working mom till now, back then, we have to put the kids with my mom when we both at work and sometimes I have to work late. When we bring the kids home, I will try to spend time with the kids, prepare the kids stuff and pack their bags for the next day. After everything, I’m dead tired. How can I enjoy S? That is when he started to look for his lover. I confronted and we trashed things out. They broke off.

Many years passed, I know on and off he has been flirting with some ladies from WeChat. Many stories in between, too many to write it out.

I am one with low S drives, I have been very accommodating as a wife but I find it no meaning to continue. I find myself like a maid and a S machine. Each time I declined, he gets pissed. Now he even stop talking to me, not informing of his schedules and whereabouts, etc. Ignoring me throughout. I found out that he is actively using tinder and flirting with 2 ladies in WeChat.

I was like, WTF, S overwrites all things throughout the many years . All the help from me when his business failed, who has paid for the household expenses during difficult times, kids expenses etc etc.. All these with my little salary.

He don’t feel grateful at all? Feels like walking out of this marriage since the kids are all grown up.