I am a foreigner living overseas. I just interviewed with one of the IT companies in Singapore.

Everything went well in the technical interviews and the final HR interview was scheduled to make an offer. The HR asked me for my expected salary and I got confused because I was unable to understand her Singlish accent properly (I am sorry, I am not judging her Singlish accent, I just don’t have much interaction with Singlish).

In my confusion, I said 8000 SGD and they accepted the offer happily. Now the contract is signed and I came to know from some connections that for fresh PhDs that the company offers 10,000 SGD for graduates with similar credentials. Since the contract has been signed and they have initiated the EP visa process. What could be good options for me to consider now?

In Singapore, do we have options for negotiation during probation period? Is 8000 SGD fair salary for fresh PhD graduated of Electronics Engineering? Thank you!

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s bizarre to renegotiate without proper reasons. However, there’s a catch if your EP gets rejected. You can convince the HR that the reason for rejection is likely that your salary doesn’t match people with the same kind of credentials and age (yes it’s actually a factor; go read). But if your EP does get approved, then ethically you don’t have much wiggle room with the same employer.

• You always have options if you know how to justify your contributions to the company you’ve joined.

• You don’t have many options if you aren’t able to articulate yourself.

• Your current inability to communicate with the HR department to sell yourself adequately or communicate your desired salary is already a sign that asking for $10k will be a huge challenge for you. There is no “official” recourse if that’s what you’re asking because the terms of employment were already signed by you and there was no mistake in that aspect from the employers end.

• The $2k monthly is a form of school fees you’re paying as a lesson on the importance of self promotion and negotiation.

• I have been in a similar situations where my colleagues earned more than me for a similar role. That said, while it’s easy to be bitter about HR shortchanging you, it’s better to focus that energy into noticing and learning from that colleague. This is how I made my “school fees” worth it. By observing my colleagues who are able to advocate for themselves and testing out on my own.

• A phD recognises your depth of knowledge in a certain area of life. It isn’t a guarantee that you will get a certain amount of salary.

I have been with my boyfriend for four years now, and while I love him deeply, there’s one thing I can’t seem to get past.

He insists on wearing low-cut pants until the base of his bird is almost exposed. At first, I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it’s starting to become a real issue.

It was later I found out that he is taunting me as I always wear low cut dresses and he has been trying to get me to cover up. I told her it’s my right and now he is doing the same to prove his point.

I understand that fashion is important, and that people should be allowed to express themselves through the clothes they wear. But I draw the line when it comes to my boyfriend’s pants. They’re not just low-cut, they’re practically falling off!

I’d rather he keep his pants up and show some respect for himself and for me.

When I first brought up the subject, he just laughed it off and told me to change my dress.

He said that he’s just trying to stay on trend just like me and that it’s not a big deal. But I can’t help but feel uncomfortable when I’m out in public with him, and I know that other people are looking and judging us.

It doesn’t help that he refuses to take my opinion seriously. Every time I bring up the subject, he just dismisses my concerns and tells me that I’m overreacting. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset, and he doesn’t seem to care that his clothing choices are making me uncomfortable.

I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just gets defensive and won’t budge. He says that it’s his body and he can do what he wants with it.

He is literally using the words I told him and telling me back.

I don’t want to be embarrassed when we go out together, and I don’t want other people to think I’m okay with this.

I’m at the end of my rope here. I love my boyfriend and I want to make our relationship work, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation. I don’t want to come off as controlling neither do I want to be controlled, but I also don’t want him to continue wearing pants that are so low-cut.

I’m not sure what to do next.

How to get partner to take more initiative?

Have been with my SO for 14 years and co-habited for close to 8 years.

Throughout the relationship, I had been the one to plan for every single outing and celebration. On occasions that I don’t, nothing was planned

I pay and plan for holidays. I don’t mind paying, but both planning and paying all the time?? Makes me wonder why I don’t just holiday on my own

Housework minimal done by him, although he works regular hours and don’t OT much. I prepare his bfast and packed lunch. He will do more only if I specifically ask. And if I nag about it, he does more for awhile, maybe 1 or 2 weeks and then slack off again. Doesn’t pick up after himself and leave things lying around despite repeated reminders.

Overweight and cannot persevere through a long term diet change nor exercise plan. He’s not unfit but just lazy. Ask him to join me on my exercises but says too tough and too tired

Always find him playing game on Hp or sleeping when I get home. Sleeps in on weekends. Says wanna spend more time with me and enjoy spending time w me but doesn’t help me with more things so that we can free up time for an evening or weekend date.

Have tried many methods to motivate him but none worked in the long term. Any suggestions? He pretty much does whatever I ask but only if I open my mouth to ask and I mean having to do it every single time. So it’s not like I tell him I need my clothes ironed after washing then he will keep doing it. I have to ask him to iron every single time for each load, if u get what I mean

Hi all would like some advice on where to go since I’m graduating soon.

I’m apprehensive about work as I’m high functioning but also have some special needs.

I’ve been told most places aren’t that tolerant of people with ADHD and Asperger’s so I’m trying to prepare myself. If anyone knows any good companies where I can get a decent graduate’s pay and career progression, and they’re still tolerant of some of my quirks, I’d appreciate it.

Generally I manage myself well and most people can’t tell during short interactions (like 2 hours max) through masking, but those who have been around me for long periods of time (months or years) have noticed the mental wiring isn’t like others. I think it might be good to plan my career route with a company or organisation that is understanding enough, or at least, I mean I have no idea where to start.

Here are what netizens think:

• Don’t see how it should be a problem if it doesn’t affect your work. Even more so if you’re not required to disclose it.

• Not an expert here, but i know a friend who makes a living submitting stuff online (research articles, journal entries), almost no interaction with ppl. Or if u can drive Grab driver also can what just put a Dont talk to me sign

• Just don’t tell your boss or colleagues? At most they will just think you are weird but at least they won’t think you are mentally handicapped. Don’t try to change the world, it’s still a bit too early. You have your meds, learn to cope and stand on the same ground as others.

• As long as you deliver on your results, no one cares about your quirks.

Will I be hated if i don’t eat my bf’s mom’s cooking on CNY

So my bf’s mom just uses salt and pepper as seasoning or drenches food in bbq and it always smells like metallic dirt, which to me is just unappetizing and I can’t eat food that doesn’t smell good to me.

Does it scare men that a woman is looking to marry

I have been using dating apps on and off for about 10 years. I started because I was envious of my friends who had partners that would fetch them from school. However, I hardly got matched on those apps.

Age 30s

Now that I’m reaching 30 and want to settle down with someone I wonder if it would scare men off if I’m honest about wanting to date to marry.

It is ironic though cause I feel that using apps is frivolous and fake. As much as I tell myself looks do not matter. I would still try to match with people who have decent-looking photos. It is hard to tell someone by their character without meeting up for a meal and eventually going on dates.

But even after 10 years I’m still not getting any matches.

I do like going to plays and events on certain causes so I usually sign up for that but I dun really get to meet other like-minded people there maybe cause I focus more on the objective of the event rather than meeting new people and I dun make the first move as I do not want to be seen as desperate.

Here are what netizens think:

• Start by loving yourself and doing activities you enjoy. When you are happy with yourself and life, the right person will come along. Don’t you always notice that we tend to find things when we are least expecting to find them? Getting frantic about not being able to settle down would only put yourself in a scarcity and desperate mindset. Work on yourself and your mentality first. Go out, meet people without having any expectations. You might even gain a few great friends throughout this journey

• It does, I won’t say 100%, but 90% of man are just looking to date rather than marriage. A man can date you for 10 years but refuse to marry you, and yet another man can ask discuss of marriage at the beginning of rs. It really depends on what the man is looking for, if he’s looking for a play date, then there’s no point for you to waste time on him. Finding a like-minded person is extremely important. Not only it will save you time on building bond and trust, you guys are moving towards the same direction. You guys holding the same value and goals. It’s better to find the right one than just finding anyone.

• Go to a real match makers and look for someone who is equally serious. They are match better than AI as all the candidate are vetted by the agency

Local grad here, Currently working in a MNC in a software dev position. Just out to rant about software paygrades. Many would agree with me.

Why do my company like to hire from this school called Digipen, and why is it that they seem to fetch a hire salary than me?

After working on some projects together, I understand that they are as capable as us, with some being more outstanding than us, but how can their pay be justified purely based on their capabilities? Abilities aside, what about our uni rankings?

I dont even see digipen being anywhere near NTU in the uni rankings, so why pay them as much as us, or even higher? Is this fair? Then why work so hard and study everyday in poly to get to NTU? I had to fight for a near perfect GPA to enter NTU, whereas anyone with a laughable gpa can probably enter this unheard school (can i even call it that?) digipen.

I have colleagues from the 2 major universities (NTU/NUS), and a few others from the less prestigious private uni like SIM and unknown origins. After digging for their salaries, I was glad to find that my paygrade is higher than those from these less prestigious unis, but there is this outlier being digipen. Prior to entering the work force I have never even heard of this school. The name itself doesnt even sound like a university so how can they be fetching higher salary than us?

what made me type this post was that one even received a promotion before me, despite us joining the company on the same date.

It took us hard earned grades to get into NTU, and I assume anyone can just enter digipen easily. so why the disparity in paygrade?