I am so annoyed that people keep thinking I’m dating my father

Whenever we go out we always get strange looks. If I call him dad in public people think he’s my sugar daddy.

It’s so annoying when people immediately assume this. I can’t have a public relationship with my dad in public because people think we’re dating.

I get it, I’m conventionally attractive. But that does not make me automatically attracted to older men.

I’ve literally had to loudly state he’s my father and married to get people to stop looking at us. I just wish that people just mind their own business and stop thinking I need help.

No, he is not emotionally manipulating me. He is my FATHER.

Thanks for coming to my rant 🙂

Netizens’ comments

1. This happened to my youngest daughter and husband. He took her to the store to pick up a few things and this old b- said she’s awfully young to be with him. He turned to her and said she is my daughter and you’re sick in the head. Mind your own business.
2. My dad stopped holding my hand in public because people would glare at him. It’s sad, I totally feel your frustration!
3. My dad and I used to go out to all-night diners bc that’s when we could spend time together. I will always regret giving a shit what people thought of us instead of cherishing the moments.
4. This happens every time I go do stuff with my mother. I’m a guy.
   In most cases when I’m out with my mother, people think that we are either married, dating, or brother and sister.
   It’s weird most of the time and sometimes I have to roll with it but it gets awkward real fast.

Had this friend years back. She was my primary school friend. We met again in JC and in uni; and hang out.

Whenever we share a meal together, she’s always eating more than her share. When payment comes, I always have to pay first then she return half.

Once, she went to Japan for work. I sent her off, even bought her a scarf, gloves, toothpaste and toothbrush because she forgot all of these.

When she came back, she didn’t bother to buy any souvenir or snacks for me, but she would tell me how much she bought for all her colleagues in the Japanese company based in Singapore.

She even said there were many leftovers for her colleagues. Those were just small things like biscuits. But I was even worth a biscuit. Not even a thank you or whatever. I let it go but didn’t mention anything.

Then when she got a bf, she didn’t bother to meet up or pretend to contact. A few years later, she invited me to her wedding and I just ignored her.

She expected me to go to her wedding and pay for an ang bao? Til today she doesn’t understand why I ignored her.

Know how to take advantage of people and pretend. This kind of friend, I don’t need.

I’ve just started to date this guy. He’s actually my secret crush and I’m so excited he’s started to ask me out.

I’ve been happy for the past few months and everything has been blissful until he knows about my ig account. He also doesn’t know I model occasionally .

Recently I mentioned I have a business account with a following of xx,xxx followers. It’s just a part time for extra income where I do ads for a small fee and didn’t see the need to mention it early in the relationship.

He got upset that I “kept a secret” and said what’s the point if I’m not making much money and that I should give it up and focus on my studies.

He does not use social media, his last post was over 5 years ago and he’s been using the same profile pic since he created his account.

So he doesn’t see the point of trying to make money out of it. I am upset by his lack of support and how he chided me.

I agree it’s not going to be my bread and butter but I’m making some money now. So what’s the issue? Is this a red flag?

I have been having these recurring thoughts lately, and since they are more frequent than ever, I know these are emotional baggages that I have to release before I move on.

Having just entered my 30s, sometimes I look back at the last decade and wonder how things could have been had I done them differently, especially during my uni years.

Many times, I wish I could have done way more back when I was in NUS. I felt like I mugged too much, closed myself from several opportunities, and did not spend a lot of time doing the things that I love to do (and I wish I did).

These things include but not limited to signing up for more gigs and making more music (since I have always loved music from Day 1), joining more student clubs and societies in NUS, and making more friends in and around the campus, even though those were arguably some of the most carefree times I have ever had in my life.

Being a somewhat shy individual back in the day, I did not have the self-confidence to do many of these things out of fear of what others were going to say. It was only after I graduated that I realised it was already too late.

Now that I am very confident of who I am as a person and know myself a lot better over the years, while acknowledging that it is certainly impossible to turn back time, I sometimes still wish I was a lot more outgoing and open as a person 8-12 years ago. Maybe things would have been rather different back then.

Nevertheless, thank you all if you read this till the very end.

P.S. I am good and healthy by the way! I just want to express a few regrets that I kept to myself for years, that is all.

Friend tricked me and set me up with a guy. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. Now the guy wouldn’t stop bothering me.

For context, I met my friend for lunch, before our food arrived, she said a guy friend of hers was in the area and asked if he could join us for lunch. I agreed since it would be mean of me to let him eat alone, knowing we are nearby.

I know him briefly but just as an acquaintance. So the 3 of us managed to keep the conversation going for a short while till my friend said she had an emergency and left me alone with the guy.

I tried to be polite and stayed till we finished our meal. That is when the guy confessed our friend set us up. He said he had good feelings about me and wanted to get to know me.

That was when all my politeness went out the window. Firstly I was upset to be lied to. Why can’t he just be upfront instead of tricking me to show up at a restaurant? I was also upset with my friend for being involved in this trickery too.

I declined meeting him again but he insisted I give him a chance and continued to contact me. How many times do I have to say no? Now my friend apologised to me after knowing he was so persistent and creepy.

His looks is barely average. I don’t care if he’s loaded. That’s a hard no from the creepy vibes he’s emitting. I’ve since blocked him. I can sense him wanting to bed me from the way he looks at me and it’s a huge turn off.

Guys, have some dignity. When a girl says no. It’s a NO!. Stop trying to hard sell yourself. If you’re so confident of yourself, don’t use tricks to get a date!

Netizens’ comments

1. “His looks is barely average”…bet if he looks like Jackson Wang she would had hump at him at the very 1st moment
2. Now this story would have very been different if he was good looking.
3. “His looks is barely average”
   Are you actually Scarlett Johansson
4. Would love to know how the poster looks like.
5. My friend knows you. He said you’re not chio that’s why your friend set you up.

Using up Medisave for parent

Both my parents are unemployed due to health issues and they have $0 in savings and CPF. Their only asset is the 3rm flat which we are currently living in. I (30F) am the sole breadwinner of the family with a monthly income of $3k.

I have two younger sisters who are married with kids and unemployed.

My father had heart failure 4 years ago and recently had a heart transplant. Thanks to government subsidies and social help, I was able to pay the medical bills with my Medisave and minimal cash. However, my Medisave is almost used up and no one else in my family has any Medisave left.

My father still has many recurring medical costs which are also being paid with my Medisave and I know that my Medisave is going to empty out sooner or later.

I am grateful that I do not have to fork out a lot of cash for my father’s medical bills but I can’t help feeling worried about my own future with almost no Medisave left. I don’t even dare to think about starting a new family, since I already have one family to support.

Does it have to be this way? Appreciate any sharing to know that I am not in the worst financial position right now.

Here are what netizens think:

Apply for com care for both parents. Sooner or later they will limit your medisave for your dad’s usage. So try to apply all the financial assistance available for yr parents to cover .

It’s been almost a month since the break up but it still hurts so much.

Grinding harder at work so my thoughts won’t be filled with my ex. There’s times I wish to ask for a patch but we are not even on talking terms anymore. I’ve tried to move on and shift my focus.

Meeting friends, going for activities and having lesser time to be sad. But when it comes to night time, it still hits me hard. It’s an assumption on my own, but my ex is probably moved on, which kills me the most. Sometimes I wish I can be permanently sleeping so I won’t have any thoughts about my ex at all.

Here are what netizens think:

• What you are going through is very normal. You just need time. Everyone goes through bad breakups and say they feel like dying but life goes on whether you like it or not.

• It’s only the beginning, but it will hurt a little less in time. And then, after you’ve moved on, maybe it’d still hurt, maybe it wouldn’t. You’d eventually have nothing left but memories and hopefully most of them are happy ones.

• Don’t worry, there are still days I wish I never woke up again, so you’re not alone. This is part and parcel of life. Many people live through this stage as well, especially if your ex was a part of your life.. or was your entire world.

• “Don’t be so sad. Something ends today but now is the first day of your next life.”

• Actually I get over breakup in less than 24 hours. After breakup. I slept over at female classmate house and we become couple overnight.  You can try try. It works

• Work hard, one day when you become the Prime Minister, your ex will come back

I am a foreigner living overseas. I just interviewed with one of the IT companies in Singapore.

Everything went well in the technical interviews and the final HR interview was scheduled to make an offer. The HR asked me for my expected salary and I got confused because I was unable to understand her Singlish accent properly (I am sorry, I am not judging her Singlish accent, I just don’t have much interaction with Singlish).

In my confusion, I said 8000 SGD and they accepted the offer happily. Now the contract is signed and I came to know from some connections that for fresh PhDs that the company offers 10,000 SGD for graduates with similar credentials. Since the contract has been signed and they have initiated the EP visa process. What could be good options for me to consider now?

In Singapore, do we have options for negotiation during probation period? Is 8000 SGD fair salary for fresh PhD graduated of Electronics Engineering? Thank you!

Here are what netizens think:

• It’s bizarre to renegotiate without proper reasons. However, there’s a catch if your EP gets rejected. You can convince the HR that the reason for rejection is likely that your salary doesn’t match people with the same kind of credentials and age (yes it’s actually a factor; go read). But if your EP does get approved, then ethically you don’t have much wiggle room with the same employer.

• You always have options if you know how to justify your contributions to the company you’ve joined.

• You don’t have many options if you aren’t able to articulate yourself.

• Your current inability to communicate with the HR department to sell yourself adequately or communicate your desired salary is already a sign that asking for $10k will be a huge challenge for you. There is no “official” recourse if that’s what you’re asking because the terms of employment were already signed by you and there was no mistake in that aspect from the employers end.

• The $2k monthly is a form of school fees you’re paying as a lesson on the importance of self promotion and negotiation.

• I have been in a similar situations where my colleagues earned more than me for a similar role. That said, while it’s easy to be bitter about HR shortchanging you, it’s better to focus that energy into noticing and learning from that colleague. This is how I made my “school fees” worth it. By observing my colleagues who are able to advocate for themselves and testing out on my own.

• A phD recognises your depth of knowledge in a certain area of life. It isn’t a guarantee that you will get a certain amount of salary.

I have been with my boyfriend for four years now, and while I love him deeply, there’s one thing I can’t seem to get past.

He insists on wearing low-cut pants until the base of his bird is almost exposed. At first, I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it’s starting to become a real issue.

It was later I found out that he is taunting me as I always wear low cut dresses and he has been trying to get me to cover up. I told her it’s my right and now he is doing the same to prove his point.

I understand that fashion is important, and that people should be allowed to express themselves through the clothes they wear. But I draw the line when it comes to my boyfriend’s pants. They’re not just low-cut, they’re practically falling off!

I’d rather he keep his pants up and show some respect for himself and for me.

When I first brought up the subject, he just laughed it off and told me to change my dress.

He said that he’s just trying to stay on trend just like me and that it’s not a big deal. But I can’t help but feel uncomfortable when I’m out in public with him, and I know that other people are looking and judging us.

It doesn’t help that he refuses to take my opinion seriously. Every time I bring up the subject, he just dismisses my concerns and tells me that I’m overreacting. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset, and he doesn’t seem to care that his clothing choices are making me uncomfortable.

I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he just gets defensive and won’t budge. He says that it’s his body and he can do what he wants with it.

He is literally using the words I told him and telling me back.

I don’t want to be embarrassed when we go out together, and I don’t want other people to think I’m okay with this.

I’m at the end of my rope here. I love my boyfriend and I want to make our relationship work, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation. I don’t want to come off as controlling neither do I want to be controlled, but I also don’t want him to continue wearing pants that are so low-cut.

I’m not sure what to do next.