My boyfriend (24M) and I (22M) went to the beach on 12/25, it happened to be a sunny day, so you could get a sunburn if you didn’t take some self-care measures.

Both my parents are dermatologists so my siblings and I are very aware of the importance of protecting your skin from sunburn and having a proper skincare routine.

my bf on the other hand doesn’t give a sht about his skin, no matter how much my parents have tried to convince him to wear sunscreen he has never done it.

When we got to the beach I started putting on my sunscreen and he asked me to share some with him but I refused to share since it wouldn’t make sense to take care of your skin just once because he isn’t doing it again, plus my sunscreen is the one I wear on a daily basis, it’s meant to be personal. He got mad at me.

Long story short, he got sunburns, my bf’s skin was so red and felt hot to the touch and it was painful for him. He called me an a-hole for not sharing with him, he says he hasn’t forgiven me yet because it hurts and the sunburn hasn’t faded, my dad has seen him to get sunburn relief.

Netizens’ comments

He isn’t entitled to your sunscreen, but you had the means to help someone you supposedly care about and decided to act holier-than-thou and let him get sunburned. Guess what, I was never a regular sunscreen wearer, but I’d put some on when it was particularly hot and I was going to be out in the sun for long periods of time. That may be your bf’s philosophy as well; just because he doesn’t take care of himself the exact way you do doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for himself at all.

You let your bf get hurt just to teach him a “lesson”, wtf

Context: I(18M) went out with my girlfriend (18F) a few days ago, we had fun, we were alone and started making out, touching etc, I started to finger her and it was normal, until I pulled my hand out and it smelled so disgusting I almost puked, it was like a mix of pee (she didn’t pee on my hand) and cheese.

Shortly after she went home and no joke I started RUNNING to wash my hand, I am very keen on hygiene and it’s a huge must, while her hygiene is below par(sometimes her hair is oily etc.) but I usually don’t mention it cause it’s whatever.

What do I do in this situation? This has never happened with this girl before.

Netizens’ comments

1. Sounds like she has an infection, she for sure has to visit a doctor. If you could smell it, she has to smell it as well, such strong odor can not go unnoticed.
   I understand your point about the mental part, it is hard to get over such a bad experience.
2. Do nothing (for now) if this has never happened with her before… chances are if you could smell it, she could as well… if it becomes a repeat problem, talk to her – hygiene is everything when it comes to clean, non-smelly parts.
   And if it persists, she may need to see a doctor.
3. Those areas cam hand a smell but usually not like piss and cheese. Honestly I’m echoing at this point but she may have a common infection, people who wash up twice daily can still get it lol. It’s mostly about pH and lots of things can throw that off

Getting wet every time the guy I like compliments me

I don’t know how to control it, whenever he compliments me or tells me he has missed me or him just being kind and thoughtful I instantly get wet.

we haven’t done anything intimate but I’m starting to feel like I’m crazy. It’s not only with him, I’ve had the same experience with every man I have liked before.

Netizens’ comments

1. You’re attracted to them. That causes some sploosh.
   You miiight have a bit of a praise k!nk, or maybe your love languages is just “affirmations”. But it’s very completely, so extremely normal that its crazy you’d call it crazy.
2. There’s not really a way to control it.
   If something turns you on, it turns you on. Best you can do is try not to think about it.
3. I know that feeling… in my case it’s pulsing / throbbing of my lady parts when I speak to them, or getting a well thought text from them.
   You’re not crazy. Just different responses.
4. I have the same, there is a hot guy at my work whom is just so chivalrous and polite.
   The conversations we have about everyday life are so innocent, yet with each minute I get wetter and wetter for him. Doesn’t help that we recently connected on SM and he has some pictures on there with his shirt off, which I’ve used several times when playing.
5. You’re just easily aroused. It’s pretty normal when you’re into someone and they are giving you attention.
6. You’re attracted! Normal! I couldn’t control when I got wet just from a peck from a partner. I let it bloom into other fun stuff. Girl, you’re good

I was shocked when my boyfriend took my particulars without my permission to apply for a BTO. He said it was because he was scared that I would leave him.

I have been with my boyfriend for five years now and have never had any issues with him. We’ve had our ups and downs like every other couple, but I never thought he would do something like this.

I was completely taken aback when I found out that he had taken my particulars for a BTO without my permission. I couldn’t believe it.

He had never done anything like this before, and it really hurt to know that he didn’t trust me enough to ask me first.

I had no idea why he would do something like this. After talking to him, I found out that he was scared that I would leave him and he wanted to make sure that I would not leave him so he chose to tie me down by applying for a BTO.

I understood why he did it, but I was still mad at him for not trusting me enough to ask me first. I felt like he was taking away my freedom and independence by doing this.

It made me feel like he was trying to control me.

I told him that I didn’t want a house that he had applied for without my permission. I told him that if he really wanted to buy a house, he should talk to me first and make sure that I was okay with it.

I also told him that he should never take my particulars without my permission again.

He apologized and said that he would never do it again. He also promised to talk to me about any major decisions that he made in the future.

I was still mad at him even after he apologised as I felt that he was not trusting enough of me and had the audacity to take my particulars without my permission.

It was a wake-up call for me, and it made me realize that this guy cannot be trusted and is really a loser.

I eventually broke up with him as I don’t want to feel like my freedom and independence are being taken away from me.

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and everything was going great. We were in love, we had a great relationship, and I was really happy.

But recently, something has been bothering me and it’s making me think about ending the relationship.

My boyfriend snores. Not just a little bit, but really loudly like a wild boar. It’s so loud that it wakes me up several times a night and I can’t get any sleep.

I’ve tried talking to him about it but he just brushes it off and says it doesn’t bother him. But it bothers me and it’s been getting worse and worse.

I’ve tried wearing ear plugs but it’s still too loud and I can still hear it. I’ve also tried sleeping in another room but that didn’t help either.

I’ve even tried sleeping pills but they just make me groggy the next day and I can’t concentrate.

I’ve been trying to be understanding and supportive because I love him and I don’t want to hurt him. But I can’t go on like this.

I’m exhausted all the time and I can’t focus on anything. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I’ve talked to my friends about it and they all say the same thing. They think I should break up with him because of his snoring.

They say it’s not fair to me and that I should find someone who doesn’t snore so loudly.

Part of me still doesn’t want to end the relationship because I still love him and I don’t want to hurt him. But I know that I have to be honest with myself and with him.

I can’t go on like this. I’m exhausted and I can’t focus on anything.

So I’ve decided that I’m going to break up with him. It’s going to be hard and it’s going to hurt but I know it’s for the best. I need to find someone who I can sleep with peacefully and without interruption.

Breaking up with him is going to be hard but I know it’s for the best. I need to take care of myself and find someone who won’t keep me up all night with loud snoring.

I know he’ll be hurt but I hope he can understand.

I never imagined I would be saying these, but here I am. As a woman, it is becoming increasingly clear to me why men cheat on women.

It all boils down to the fact that women are refusing to ‘do it’ with their partners.

Growing up, I was always taught that men have a much higher ‘drive’ than women, and that this is why men cheat.

As I have gotten older, however, I have come to realize that there is more to it than that. Men may have a higher ‘drive’, but it doesn’t mean that they should be expected to cheat on their partners.

It’s easy to point the finger of blame at men in this situation, but I firmly believe that women need to take some responsibility too. We are the ones refusing to ‘do it’.

We are the ones who are saying no. We are the ones who are turning down their advances. We are the ones who are leaving them feeling rejected and unloved.

I know that there are many reasons why women may not want to ‘do it’ with their partners. Maybe they don’t feel emotionally connected to them, or maybe they aren’t physically attracted to them.

Maybe they are too tired or too stressed to engage in physical intimacy. Or maybe they just don’t feel like ‘doing it’.

Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to remember that ‘doing it’ with your partner is a part of a healthy relationship.

Both partners should feel wanted and desired. When one person is left feeling rejected and unwanted, it can lead to infidelity.

I don’t believe that men should be excused for cheating on their partners, but I do believe that women need to recognize the role they play in this situation. We need to be more mindful of our partners’ needs and be willing to show them physical affection.

We need to let them know that we still desire them and are still attracted to them.

We also need to be willing to have honest conversations about our ‘bedroom’ lives. We need to talk about what we want and what we don’t want.

We need to talk about our desires and our boundaries. We need to talk about what is and isn’t working for us.

At the end of the day, no one should be made to feel like they are not wanted or desired. If a woman is refusing to ‘do it’ with her partner, then it’s important that she recognizes the role she plays in this situation and takes steps to rectify it.

Otherwise, she may find herself in a situation where her partner has no choice but to look elsewhere for physical intimacy.

I’ve been single for quite a while now, and I find myself always ending up with women that are much older than I am.

It’s like I can’t seem to get girls my age. I’m 27 years old and have a good job and life, yet I find myself constantly in relationships with women that are more than 10 years my senior.

At first, I thought this was because I was more mature than most other guys my age, so I was more attractive to older women.

But, after being in a few relationships with women in their late 30s and 40s, I realized that there was something deeper going on. I realized that I was struggling to connect with women my own age.

I think part of the problem is that I’m a bit of an introvert. I’m not the kind of guy who goes out to clubs and bars and hits on girls.

I’m more of a homebody, and I don’t really have a lot of friends my age. I’m sure this has a lot to do with why I’m not connecting with women my age.

Another thing I think is that I’m looking for something different in a relationship than most guys my age. I’m not looking for a casual fling or a one night stand.

I’m looking for a meaningful connection and a long-term commitment. I think that’s why I’m drawn to older women, because they’re more likely to be looking for a similar type of relationship.

I’m sure there are other factors at play here too. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit more mature than most guys my age and I’m looking for someone who can understand my outlook on life.

Or maybe it’s because I’m more comfortable with older women, who don’t play games and don’t have any expectations of me.

Whatever the reason, I can’t seem to get girls my age. I’ve tried online dating, but it hasn’t been successful. I’ve tried going to events and mingling with people, but I always end up feeling like I’m out of place and out of touch.

At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe I’m better off just being single. I’m not really sure what else I can do to try and find someone my own age.

I’m sure I’ll find someone eventually, but until then, I guess I’ll just keep on looking.

I tried to think about what I’ve been through when I was a fresh grad, and try not to repeat the same things to the new staff that I hand over my work to.

1. Clear instructions: fresh grads and new staff don’t know much about the work.

Clear instructions are essential. I don’t believe in those oh you need to learn and ask blah blah. What laojiao has been through laojiao me will tell you automatically. There’s no need to hide. Everything show hand. This makes things so much easier for the staff to learn and understand. It’s only when additional things appear, then the new staff approach the laojiao for help.

2. Make the office environment as amicable as possible: no one is asking to us to have parties all day. But the frequent office snack sessions that last a few minutes to me are essential. Make the new staff feel like he or she belongs to the team. Offer them snacks or drinks. Snack with them. Don’t have pantry? Bring your own snacks. Don’t let the office be like a cemetery like some depts that I’ve been to. People are too scared to talk. When they don’t talk, nothing gets convey. Mistakes will then appear.

3. Ask them if they are ok: the things that I’m handing over are very content heavy. A lot of understanding is required. Every now and then I will ask the new staff. Are you ok. Can cope or not. If cannot, show me where you cannot. What you don’t know. We can all discuss. The new staff sometimes don’t dare to speak up because they think it’s just a small thing, but it’s important to catch these small things. If they don’t ask you, you ask them. Create a clear channel for comms. Scared what? Don’t feel like you have to lower yourself to their level or what not. You have been through this before. Help them. Handhold them if they need the help.

4. Let go: once you think they are ready, let go. Let them do their thing. Only when they have questions, then help them. Controlling too much is bad. If can let go just let go. Laojiao got new things to handle.

The First Year

I have been married for 1 year liao, dating about 3 years. (total about 4 years+), no kids.

When we first started dating, things went well and we have been living together for about 3 years including the 1 year of marriage.

However the moment we got engaged, it seems like things started going downhill.

S become from 2-3 times a day, dropping to once a month before we got engaged and now after we got married, exactly 1 S session about 10mins which was barely satisfying.

Before she used to write me love notes or make little presents or make arrange a little outing for my birthday/christmas/anniversaries.

But literally the recent christmas, she bought/made/did nothing. Normally she doesn’t do anything extravagant as she is generally on a tight budget (she earns about 3k, i earn 6k), but I appreciated the little gestures.

I travel alot for work and I admit I’m not home as much as I should, but in Singapore, gotta hustle to survive. I came home from a business trip before christmas and she requested a branded bag (30% of my take home) and a cheaper branded bag each of her 3 sisters for christmas, the total cost was my entire month’s salary, including other small christmas presents including expensive coffees beans and other misc gifts that she requested (I was covering 7 countries in 3 weeks, including europe).

But nothing for me?

Admittedly I was quite disappointed. My birthday this year was spent overseas working, so I guess I didn’t fault her for not doing/buying anything.

In addition, I’m paying for the mortgage in cash as the house is solely in her name (3br). I took the smallest room as my study which doubles as a store room, while she took the medium room as her own study. She recently got a full time job which after which we had discussed and agreed, she was suppose to use her CPF to pay for the house, while I continue paying the cash portion. However she said we should delay this till next year June before reconsidering. I was abit upset at this as well, but I agreed.

I’m a generally thrifty person. I dont wear branded clothes, or use branded items. The most expensive item I own is a samsung flagship phone, bought at MSRP due to my old phone drop and spoil and I needed one urgently for work while I was overseas. When dating time, she said she dont use branded stuff either except for apple. But it seems like she likes branded shoes (supergar? supreme?), clothes (supreme? OSN?), bag (Kanken, longchamp, gucci, celine). I try to give her what she wants. But I just feel like its so uneven.

Even things like our wedding rings, my ring is a $300 ring, she had to have 2 wedding rings, a bling one and a non-bling one, total $3000. Is it a must to have 2 wedding rings? She already has an engagement ring that cost $3000.

Am I materialistic or calculative to feel this way?

When I bring things up, she will generally brush it off with:

“oh but i do way more housework than you.” or “I will do better, but I can’t change overnight” or my favorite “we dont have S not because I dont want, but we are too fat, you need to lose weight, you need to make a exercise program”.

I work 12-16 hours a day, 6-7 days a week and I dont have time for exercise. My job is stressful and given the choice, I would quit, but to live this life, cannot quit. I used to work in a blue collar job that was nice and kept me active, gave me sufficient time to rest, but I spent alot more time overseas in one other country/place for several months instead of coming back to Singapore and I have been putting off taking this promotion until I got married so I could spend slightly more time in Singapore (based in Singapore). For reference, I took up the promotion 2 years ago and gained 30kg (50kg to 80kg now) and I am fat compared to last time.

Our boyfriend (we’re in a thrupple) thinks we should get a divorce/annulment, he himself is already in the middle of divorce proceedings with his own wife, so I feel hes already abit biased, and we’re more like a spilt up thrupple already. She obviously doesn’t want a divorce. He already offered to let me stay with him in his apartment.

AITA for feeling this way? Am I materialistic/calculative? What should I do?

Finally walking away from toxicity

I started a casual relationship with this guy for the past 1 year ish, though we had been acquaintance for the past decade and met each other for meals on and off.

Initially, it was great because the chemistry in bed was amazing. But I always knew he wasn’t the committal kind which was what I am seeking too.

The chemistry was so good that I started having feelings bcos he was such good listener.

The thing is, when we are apart, he hardly ever finds me or replies really slowly (12 hrs is my respectful allowance) except for flirty texts of course. He lies about certain stuff regarding his social media activities, leaves flirty comments on sexy girls account but he always has a reason for them.

He shows avoidance (get angry at me instead) when I talk to him about my feelings and how he once accidentally went overboard in bed. He apologised but he never really kept his words when he said them (going back on plans, never make up things to me).

I know we are non-committal and I have no rights but, these are certain things we spoke about being exclusive. I feel that basic respect about my feelings and time and talks like a friend is what I expected. We were on and off, we pushed each other away but we always end up coming together in this vicious merry go round.

I was clouded a lot by emotions and lust. Overtime I recognise that he’s gaslighting and toxic but I always justify his behaviour (a lot, thinking deep down hes a good guy but he has some issues to deal with) as I later realised I was in denial. I find myself allowing this guy to scrape away layer and layer of my self worth, value and even feeling insecure and anxious among others. I finally got hurt and angry enough to not go back to him because he doesn’t know (pretend to not know) what hes done wrong or why I’m so upset. I question his integrity a lot in certain situations as well.

Deep down there’s still that 10% of hope that he’s a good guy but the disrespect I feel is REAL.

I’ve dragged on longer than I should have, I deserve the hurt and am responsible for my poor decision. Thankful that I wasnt pregnant and I find the strength to walk out.

I’m sharing this to encourage others to walk away if your instinct tells you that something is off. And not to be in a toxic environment just because you’re clouded and afraid to be alone.