Finally walking away from toxicity

I started a casual relationship with this guy for the past 1 year ish, though we had been acquaintance for the past decade and met each other for meals on and off.

Initially, it was great because the chemistry in bed was amazing. But I always knew he wasn’t the committal kind which was what I am seeking too.

The chemistry was so good that I started having feelings bcos he was such good listener.

The thing is, when we are apart, he hardly ever finds me or replies really slowly (12 hrs is my respectful allowance) except for flirty texts of course. He lies about certain stuff regarding his social media activities, leaves flirty comments on sexy girls account but he always has a reason for them.

He shows avoidance (get angry at me instead) when I talk to him about my feelings and how he once accidentally went overboard in bed. He apologised but he never really kept his words when he said them (going back on plans, never make up things to me).

I know we are non-committal and I have no rights but, these are certain things we spoke about being exclusive. I feel that basic respect about my feelings and time and talks like a friend is what I expected. We were on and off, we pushed each other away but we always end up coming together in this vicious merry go round.

I was clouded a lot by emotions and lust. Overtime I recognise that he’s gaslighting and toxic but I always justify his behaviour (a lot, thinking deep down hes a good guy but he has some issues to deal with) as I later realised I was in denial. I find myself allowing this guy to scrape away layer and layer of my self worth, value and even feeling insecure and anxious among others. I finally got hurt and angry enough to not go back to him because he doesn’t know (pretend to not know) what hes done wrong or why I’m so upset. I question his integrity a lot in certain situations as well.

Deep down there’s still that 10% of hope that he’s a good guy but the disrespect I feel is REAL.

I’ve dragged on longer than I should have, I deserve the hurt and am responsible for my poor decision. Thankful that I wasnt pregnant and I find the strength to walk out.

I’m sharing this to encourage others to walk away if your instinct tells you that something is off. And not to be in a toxic environment just because you’re clouded and afraid to be alone.

Growing up in a family of six, I was often surrounded by loud, upbeat music.

My parents had a deep appreciation for music and would often blast it around the house on the weekends. As I got older, I began to understand and appreciate this musical culture more and more.

Unfortunately, it has become increasingly common to hear loud music in public places, like on public transportation. While I can appreciate that older generations have their own musical preferences, I find it difficult to tolerate when they play their music too loud.

I’m sure that many other people feel the same way, particularly when it comes to older people blasting music on the MRT and the bus. It’s especially annoying when a single passenger decides to use their own device to play loud music that the whole carriage can hear.

For starters, these individuals may not realize how loud their music is, as they could be partially deaf. Even if they’re not, they may not be aware of how sound travels in a confined space like a train or bus.

As a result, the music can feel invasive, as it takes over the whole carriage. It can also be distracting, as you can’t really focus on anything else with a loud beat playing in the background.

It’s also worth noting that music preferences vary from person to person. While the older person’s music may be their jam, it may not be the same for everyone else in the carriage. Some people may find it annoying or even offensive.

At the same time, it’s important to recognize that older people may not be aware of the impact their music is having on others. They could be playing it out of enjoyment, not realizing that they’re making the entire carriage uncomfortable.

That being said, it’s also important to remember that we all have the right to enjoy our own music in our own way. It’s okay to listen to music on the MRT or bus, as long as you’re mindful of the volume and the preferences of other passengers.

In my opinion, it’s best to bring your own headphones and keep the volume at a reasonable level. That way, you can still enjoy your music without disrupting the peace of the entire carriage.

Secrets to your grave

I wanna get this off my chest once and for all. I’ve been keeping it in and intend to bring this to the grave as it has stopped bothering me until recently which idk what happened but I wake up and go to bed with this on my mind everyday.

I know I’m not any better and I f up too.

I am an ultra-sensitive person by nature and I tend to feel emotions more than people normally would. I also can sort of sense it if someone is lying or not being themselves and this has caused me great hurt over the years.

Firstly. My partner and I got engaged 6 months ago and together for 4 years. Prior to that when we first started talking and shared about our exes, I trusted her 100% but as time went by, I slowly discovered small lies in some things that she tells me and they led me to snoop on her phone about a year in.

She told me she was a V, never did any X stuff with her ex etc but what I found in her messages made me hate myself for even wanting to find out something I wasn’t ready for.

Messages like “I bleed when we first did” and other dirty messages between her girlfriends confirmed my suspicion. Throughout our rs, I always felt a part of her hasn’t gotten over her ex and recently I got to know that she actually stalked her ex-sister to find out how her ex is doing because she scrolled thru her messages with one of her friend and I happen to read it briefly. There was something along the line of her friend asking her why she did it and her reply was something like “remembering him”.

We did S and before yall blast me for it, I’m a V before and I’m not wanting a V partner but rather I’m upset because I got lied to, I can’t do anything and I most definitely still love her. I too regret snooping.

I guess the point here is I hate this feeling of being lied to (she lied because of religion that she can’t do Xxx) and I hate that I cant confront her about it. I hate it even more it’s bothering me when it shouldn’t and I’m afraid this will one day lead to resentment.

It’s something I might very well have to live with and bring it to the grave with me.

Friend cheated on her husband

This occurrence had made me felt very guilty for the past year. During the first half of 2022, I actually saw my friend (H) entered a hotel room with another guy.

I was on a staycation with my boyfriend. For gods sake she has 2 young sons and I honestly feel so sorry for her husband.

However, I just kept quiet as I was afraid that I would complicate things within her family and I do not want any sad outcomes to happen to the children.

I saw her and her husband posted anniversary photos in recent months and hopefully her husband knows and forgave her. I hope that she is honest in her marriage as of now.

I had also refrained from meeting her as I am afraid that I will start asking her things that I shouldn’t.

Just pouring out my baggage.

Here are what netizens think:

• No lah, her insurance policy guy need to do health checkup on her.
• Asking for a friend, which hotel?
• Don’t ask don’t tell. Not your business
• She shiok or not ? Try new bird cause old bird can’t fly ? Outside so many takeaway
• It could be her cousin or relative. Pls ask properly first and don’t guess or judge first.
• A lot of people look similar esp from the back or from a distance, Don’t stir for nothing unless u have supporting evidence
• It could be a duck. Or a masculine looking female friend

So there’s this trend in Tik Tok, at least in my fyp.

Basically, it’s a bunch of women who posted a short video with a caption that says “Having a beautiful gf doesn’t change the fact that you’re ugly. Men literally forget about that”.

I mean….so? What’s your point?

Gosh, and these are the same kind of woman that kept pushing the “looks doesn’t matter, it is your heart and personality that matters” narrative.

You know, men can post the same thing by saying “Having a handsome bf doesn’t change the fact that you’re ugly. Woman literally forget about that.” But hey, when men does it, suddenly it’s wrong.

In fact, supposed that ugly man end up with someone beautiful, then most likely that men has a great personality or is a high value man by any other means. And how about you? Calling yourself beautiful yet end up with no one at all .

As a woman, I like to apologize to men on behalf of these low value woman’s attitude. Just so you know, there’s woman like me who appreciates men like you. You are loved and you are amazing.

Here are what netizens think:

• Andrew Tate and Just Pearly Things on YouTube has actually educated abiut why women are like this.
• hese tiktok are earning money. Do you think the creator care if you are happy, sad, angry? Just treat it as entertainment and move on.
• The men treat the beautiful gfs as an accessory, while the beautiful gfs buy accessories using the men’s credit cards. Both sides happy can already.
• Don’t take tiktok seriously. Full of nonsense. Just dress scantily etc to get lots of views n likes n adds.

Can the men answer this question?

Why are there men who openly leer at women? Even when a woman is appropriately dressed? Even when the woman is related to you? Even when the woman is the wife of someone related to you?

Is it hard to show some respect to yourself to behave appropriately when your wife is next to you?

I hate it the most when a man finds the need to purposely walk close and make some kind of obscene lip noise. What purpose does it serve?

My first uncomfortable encounter with men is when I was at the age of 10,11. I was in my swimming costume and stepped out of the womens bathroom to head to the pool only to be blocked by a pervert-looking man who smiled and leered at me as though I was naked.

Growing up, I can’t mention the number of times I have had similar encounters with these kind of men. I have also been molested before. When some men stand too close to you than necessary when it’s not crowded, hoping you will not notice him and move to get a free bump.

Or brush across your body when walk past. When you turn back, you feel his eyes look right through your clothes.

Is this the price to pay for being a woman?

Here are what netizens think:

• Para 3 means suck lips. Zuk zuk
• You sure you didn’t wear your shirt the wrong way round or something?
• Don’t care so much and move away

Yesterday while I was making lunch I heard a really loud sound, as if the ceiling was falling or a bookshelf had fallen.

My husband (41M) and daughter (17F) were out, the only other person in the house was my son (16M). I was pretty sure he was in his room, so while making my way there I checked every room and everything seemed in order.

I knocked on my son’s door and called his name, no answer. I must have knocked/called 3 times before trying to open the door which was locked.

At this point I was getting really freaked out, thinking that maybe he tipped his wardrobe or bookshelf and it had fallen over him and he was passed out on the floor. I was basically screaming his name, no answer.

I have no idea how I did it. I just threw myself the door and it broke. Now, clearly the door was already weak but, yeah, it broke.

My son was fine. He was freaked out about the door but fine. The sound was his TV with the volume at the max, apparently. And he didn’t answer me calling because he didn’t want me bothering his movie. His words were “You were screaming like a harpy and it was annoying, I was trying to watch the movie. Fix the door.”

I said no. I wasn’t going to fix it since to “fix it” I would have to buy a new door and doors are expensive. And as soon as his dad got home he would remove the door entirely as it was too broken to just stay there.

He got really mad. Said it’s his “right” to have a door, he deserves his privacy. I said he had a door and while I was the one that broke it and it was a consequence of his actions, so if he wanted a door he would have to buy it (I know he doesn’t have the money for it right now). Until then, no door.