[30f][31m] my fiancée[not married]has 45k in credit card Debt. But expects me to pay her bills.

So last night I found out that my fiancée has 45k in credit card debt. She got a 15k loan because she quit her job because she didn’t like the vp.

She said it was to help her transition and find another job. She has a job but wants to quit because she wants to get married and then move shortly after.

Her current job she’s half doing. Back to the loan to “help us.” She says she factors in my bills as well as a part of “us becoming one” and all the little things she does for me. I’ve told her that I can do the little things myself.

She took the loan out without asking me, now she expects the same. For me to go out my way to pull out my pocket. I have good credit. And I have advised that if my credit goes bad. We are both screwed in the long run. So I won’t be pulling loans and such. She was talking about finding a second job. But I need to see you pull off the first one.

Anyway, I understand helping me but going into debt to do so is not a good idea to do so. And because we aren’t married yet I’m not obligated to get her out of debt. I want to help her but I wish to do so safely without ruining my credit just in case something happens. I mean she want me to pay bills in a house in her name so you can kick me out and all that money is wasted….

How can I fix this situation? Am I obligated to pay her bills

I found out that My (28M) Daughter (5F) is also my Sister.

As the title suggests I have recently discovered that my daughter is actually my half-sister. My wife and I got married about four years ago after the birth of our daughter.

We both assumed she was mine even though we weren’t exclusively dating the year prior. We met and became a FWB situation neither one of us wanting anything serious at the time.

I had partners besides her and visa versa, it wasn’t a secret to either of us. When she became pregnant she told me she couldn’t have a FWB situation anymore because she needed stability for her child.

She gave me an out to leave and never look back but I didn’t want that. I’d slowly fallen in love with her as time passed and knew that whatever her life turned into I wanted to be a part of it.

I didn’t ask for genetic testing because why ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer? I raised her and so I was her father, genetics didn’t matter to me.

We moved in together, my name is on her birth certificate, we got married and have been living very happily since.

About half a year ago I met one of her ex FWB. I was out with my daughter and wife when we ran into him at the grocery.

He was nice, and very polite to us but as soon as he saw our daughter he got this shell-shocked look on his face. He asked how old she was which quickly turned into a question of paternity but not blatantly enough that our daughter caught wind of it.

Over the next few days him and my wife texted about doing a genetic test, if she was his he wanted to be in her life as he had a bum dad and didn’t want to follow in his footsteps.

We did the test not just with his sample but mine as well. He wasn’t the father and was disappointed but wished us the best, it ended that situation on a good note.

However, I’m not the father either – my dad is.

I don’t have a good relationship with my dad because of some previous history so my wife’s never met my side of the family, any of them.

I showed her pictures of my family after the shock of the initial results came back and she pointed out my dad. During her FWB time she had connected with my dad over a dating site but had only met up with him a handful of times before they’d cut it off.

My wife apologized but I told her she has nothing to apologize for. I knew this could be a possible outcome that I wasn’t the father, though I didn’t think I’d be related to the father.

She asked if I wanted to tell my dad or not and I don’t think I will. He wasn’t a good dad to me and I can change that cycle. There’s no one I can really tell about this whole situation but I needed to get it off my chest one way or another.

I love my wife and I love my daughter. Our life won’t change because of this it’s just something that keeps sitting with me.

I’ve considered maybe seeing someone so I can work through all these weird thoughts in my head. I’m not sure how I feel, though I’m mostly relieved it wasn’t her ex FWBs child because I don’t want to share my family.

Rude Gojek driver, what can I do?

So I ordered a Gojek to go home and the driver accepted my order and told me to wait 22 mins for him even though he was only 4 mins away(and continued driving away from where I was).

So I told him to cancel or I would report him and he started giving me attitude. In the end, I just canceled since I got another grab.

Apart from reporting him to Gojek customer service which I already did, what else can I do?

Netizens’ comments

• Not sure why some of the redditors here are dissing OP. Based on this post obviously the Gojek Rider was in the wrong and he have the right to lodge a complaint. I would be angry too if I was him because that driver shouldn’t even have accepted the request in the first place. Don’t claim the moral high ground please.
  OP, I think it’s best you let it go thereafter. You have reported him, that’s good enough. Pursue the matter any longer and you will just be wasting your time.
  For God’s sake people. Learn to discern between right and wrong.
• This happens a lot on Gojek, as much as I hate the high prices by Grab. I would 100% avoid Gojek and Foodpanda as their customer support really sucks. Try Tada, it has the best price to offer.
• Report to Gojek
  Give 1 star
  Send personal email to Gojek staff and management
  Feedback to customer support
  Do all 4
• Just report and move on lah. Why waste precious time letting a random stranger live rent free in your head? Being vindictive serves no real purpose either.

My wife is suddenly wanting to end a 10+ years of marriage because she fell in love with a stranger she saw on the street.

As messed as it might sound but she said something happened “inside of her” she could not explain when saw this stranger (a guy) on the street.

She said she felt like her world stopped and she found herself exiting her car and following him to the petrol station.

She swore she didn’t do anything not even take his phone number (but hey he frequents this outlet so her plan is to wait for him to come back? WTF??).

She said didn’t know why she felt this and “failed” to explain it or put it into words. So she’s now asking for a divorce…after 10+ years she’s willing to just turn around and walk away to go chase someone she doesn’t even know their name.

I’m so shocked and shaken up my reaction is to laugh even when I think about it. Like…Maybe this was a “love from first sight..” or some shit she experienced but to go as far as dnd our happy marriage just like that? I can’t believe it!.

I..I really don’t know what to say or do. I think about how my home just got wrecked by a stranger. I just feel so terrible right now.

Found out guy (33M) I’m (30F) dating doesn’t date women over thirty. Is this a red flag or am I overreacting?

I met “Mark” about a month and a half ago (maybe?) at the gym. He approached me and we hit it off. We’ve been seeing each other pretty often since then. We have a lot in common and he seems like a decent guy. The day after Christmas he asked me to be exclusive with him. I thought it was a little sudden but all my friends always rib me for coming off as an ice queen and uninterested when dating because I want to go so slow. I’ve always been hyper-analytical and never someone to take a risk without thoroughly thinking it through, but one of the promises I made to myself when I turned 30 was that I would be more spontaneous and take more chances. Anyway, I said yes but now I’m wondering if I should’ve stuck to what I know and slowed down.

On our very first date, he made a comment about how it was nice to finally meet someone IRL and not on an app or something. I felt the same and mentioned I’d been on dating apps. Turns out, he is too. We started talking about how it was so funny that we’d never come across each other on the app before and I asked to see his profile wondering if maybe I had swiped past him somehow. So, we pulled up our profiles and swapped phones. His profile seemed totally normal and attractive. I probably would’ve swiped on him. When he was looking at mine, he made some sort of comment being surprised that I was 30 and that I looked much younger. I’ve always gotten comments about looking a little younger than my age so I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

I hadn’t thought about those comments much until a few days ago when Mark invited me to his friends’ NYE party. I hadn’t met his friends before but they were all very nice and welcoming. All his friends also seemed like they were in their thirties and their partners seemed age appropriate. The night went on and everyone got pretty drunk. The guys seem like the type who like to tease and rag on their friends lovingly and eventually they started teasing Mark. They started making comments about how they couldn’t believe ‘Leo’ (no one clarified but I’m assuming this is a joking nickname related to Leonardo DiCaprio) was finally dating an ‘older woman’ and it was ‘about time he grew up’. They made a lot of comments about it (in a teasing way toward him, not me) and the vibe I got was that they just thought it was a funny quirk of his that he only dated younger women.

I didn’t react at the party because I didn’t want to bring things down for the whole group, but at breakfast the next day I kinda pressed him on this. He seemed to think I was joking at first and sorta just rolled his eyes. I kept pressing and leading the conversation and eventually he admitted that he’d never dated a woman in her thirties, thought I was 24ish when he approached me, and had his profile restricted to women 26 and down. When he saw I was not super positive about this, he immediately started telling me how great he thought I was and that’s he not that serious about the age thing, and how he really saw a future with me. I let it go at breakfast because I wasn’t quite sure how I was feeling.

I’ve been brewing on it for a few days now and I think it’s given me the ick. I don’t think dating a younger person is inherently bad but when you actively won’t date someone who is at least your own age and have created a pattern of exclusively dating younger people, I think it’s kinda weird. It makes me think he probably has some really gross ideas about women and aging. I mean, I may look 20s-ish to him now but what about when aging catches up to me as it inevitably will?

I talked to my friends and they agreed it’s a red flag, but I know our little group can sometimes be a bit of an echo chamber. He is nice, clean, and has a good job. I also would feel weird breaking up with someone after only a week, but on the other hand, I just feel totally unattracted to him now. Am I being totally crazy or is this valid to get creeped out over?

My parents will divorce if I don’t break up with my (21m) girlfriend (19f).

I have a girlfriend, and my parents don’t approve of our relationship at all. Last few weeks they’ve been furious about it, and threatening to divorce. They told me not to date until I get my bachelor’s. We didn’t even do anything inappropriate- we’re just close friends, often hang out together on campus, and we’re in a swing dance club. I didn’t even tell my parents about my relationship. How did they find out? My sister (18f) also goes to same uni as me, and she always saw me walking around holding hands and eating in the cafeteria with the same girl. Instead of asking me about it she told my parents. She took pictures of us from afar, and used it as evidence against me. When I told my parents that both my girlfriend and I are legal adults, and that her parents approve of the relationship, they said, “you’ll always be a child in our eyes, and her parents don’t influence us”. They’re primarily mad because I kept my relationship a secret for so long, and secondary reason is that I’m breaking their expectations about dating.

My grades are fine and I’ve never gotten in trouble at school. What’s worse is that my sister was allowed to date as early as her freshman year. She’s even invited her boyfriends home and slept in the same bed as them, and went on vacations with their families. She’s had like 3 boyfriends already, as she gets into dating drama frequently. When I, 3 years older than her, asked my parents if I could date, they said no, because they don’t want me getting in trouble.

When I told my parents that I love my girlfriend and I’m not breaking up with her, they said that they will divorce each other if I don’t break up with her ASAP. They were forcing me to pull out my phone and text her, saying that I want to break up. I refused, arguing that they let my irresponsible, academically struggling younger sister date, but not me. My parents said that I value her over family, and that they spent 21 years raising a failure. (I’m not a failure; my sister is)

My dad hit me several times, giving me a black eye, while my mom lay on the floor crying, saying that she wishes she aborted me. Then he argued with my mom and screamed at each other. Meanwhile I grabbed my backpack with my stuff in it and drove off to my girlfriend’s house. My parents fortunately don’t know where she lives. When he noticed my car was missing, he called me but I didn’t pick up. Then he texted me asking where I am, and said that he would come get me. I told my girlfriend’s family what happened, and they offered to let me stay with them until we go back to campus.

I got my girlfriend’s dad to call my parents, and he told them to F off, and that if they keep treating me like this they will take legal action themselves. I know it’s only because she and I are very committed in our relationship, and her parents are supportive of it.

My 3yr old son escaped, and I was on my way back from work when this happened. Where was dad? In the house playing League of Legends.

That was the absolute last straw among the long list of offenses he did.

I have 2 children. My daughter is 7 and my son is 3. Both have autism.

My husband seems to prioritize his video games more than our children and it makes me angry. Years ago it was just a one off, sorry, I completely forgot, situations which didn’t happen nearly as frequently as the now. It started in the middle of lockdown, where I have to work longer hours than usual.

We are both gamers. Sometimes I’ll play a little game when I’m off work.

I’m a nurse that works 12 hour shifts. Sometimes a little gaming from time to time won’t hurt. But this man.

If he’s not working, he’s gaming. It doesn’t matter when he has 2 small children to look after. He will put on Netflix for them and lock himself in his room.

I lost count at the number of times I cut off the WiFi in the house and at one point straight up cancelled the internet because I was tired of his nonsense.

The only time the kids have anything healthy to eat is when I’m making them dinner. Husband will order anything that can be delivered. I have already told him to stop doing it since both kids are already gaining weight.

The absolute last straw was when my 3 yr old son escaped our house when I was at work. This was the 2nd time he escaped (we were both home) and since then I installed multiple alarms on every door in the house. He even had a wristband on with our phone number.

My son was later found and where’s my husband? He’s home. I get inside and what do I find? My husband behind closed doors playing league of legends. I cut off the internet and hid the router and that’s when he came out and literally saying to me wtf.

Husband said that he already put both kids to bed before getting on to play. I told him the same thing I tell him 30 times. If he’s watching the kids, the game is off. Period. Since it’s come to the point where our own son could have been kidnappened or killed, it’s over. I told him to pack his bags and leave.

Anyone who would endanger their own children over a video game, has a serious problem. I suggested he see a therapist.

I love him and I really want to make this marriage work for at the very least our kids. I’m seriously considering filing for separation while I consider the options.

I recently had the opportunity to do some business with a guy whose parents are rich.

I was initially excited about the prospect of working with someone who had access to vast financial resources, but that quickly changed as I got to know him better.

The person I was working with was a young man who had grown up with a considerable amount of wealth.

He was accustomed to having everything he wanted and had never had to work hard for anything. As a result, he had a very unrealistic view of life and was extremely unreliable.

I quickly found out that he was not interested in making any real effort to make our business partnership successful.

He was more interested in the idea of being successful and having the lifestyle that came with it than the hard work that it takes to get there.

He had a tendency to make big statements and promises that he could never deliver on.

It felt like he was just dreaming and not really interested in making anything happen. He also had a sense of entitlement and thought that he should be able to get whatever he wanted without any real effort.

This made it difficult to take him seriously and it was hard to get him motivated to do anything.

I eventually had to end the business relationship because I realized that he was not going to be reliable or make any real effort.

He was just living in a dream world and not taking any action to make his dreams come true.

Working with someone who had access to vast financial resources, but was unreliable and only interested in dreaming was a huge waste of my time and energy.

Even if he had access to resources, he still needed to take action and make an effort if he wanted to make his dreams come true.

I learned a valuable lesson from this experience and that is that money alone does not guarantee success.

It is important to surround yourself with people who are reliable, hardworking and have a realistic view of life.

People who are only interested in dreaming and not taking any action will only hold you back.

No matter how much money someone has, that does not make them reliable or successful. It is important to not get caught up in the idea of working with someone who has access to vast financial resources.

Instead, it is important to look for people who are reliable, hardworking and have a realistic view of life. This way, you can ensure that you are getting the most out of your business partnerships.

I’ve failed at life. I’m a loser.

I’m a 30 year old man with not a cent in savings, living paycheck to paycheck with my only friend in life (my dog), and working a tedious job as an oil and tire mechanic.

My wife left me after 8 years together. She said herself I’m a loser and that’s why I’ve got no friends and my family doesn’t love me (mine or hers).

But… she’s not completely wrong. My own family doesn’t like me. My dad hasn’t and never will include me in the family business, my mom pities me which is why she speaks to me at all, my sister and her husband are put off by me, and I’ve got to say none of them do or have said they love me in years.

My only “friend” speaks to me once a month and sees me less than that, but he doesn’t include me in his personal life or circle of friends. When I ask why he brushes it off, but I know it’s because he wants to keep me at arm’s length from his real friends.

Since my divorce I’ve put on weight because I drink excessively now. If I stop for too long I get the shakes. The jitteriness is terrible. But times like this week I’m too broke for booze and have to deal with it until payday Wednesday.

I’m desperate for any sort of affection that I chased away the only woman to show interest in me since the divorce. We went on two dates and my constant texting resulted in her saying we should just be friends. It wasn’t like I was professing my love in Shakespearean soliloquies, but was a steady barrage of, “How’s your day?” and “Wyd?” Because otherwise nobody but my mom talks to me anymore.

I got so lonely last year that I literally paid to get laid.

My job is dead end, but might just be getting worse because while I can do this job without any certificates or degrees, new management says he wants the yard staffed with mechanics. I can’t afford to go to school and he’s not paying for an employee to get training when he can just hire an established mechanic.

Speaking of work and school, I’ve never held a job longer than 4 or 5 years. I’ve done warehouse work, construction, and electrical before this. I’ve routinely been fired or replaced.

So there it is. Frankly, I’m certain my dog is the only living soul that loves me and she’s getting older. Once she’s gone, I’ll actually have nothing and no one at this rate.

(F25)(M26) My boyfriend threatened to cheat on me if I don’t give him children

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly 10 years now and we live together, when we agreed on dating in school I had warned him multiple times that I didn’t want to have kids, he was completely okay with this and at the time he also agreed on not having kids.

however less than year ago he started bringing subtle hints about now wanting children this become a bigger issue once marriage started coming in the picture,I’ve been delaying the idea of it since now we aren’t on the same page when it comes to children.

He talked me into the idea but I’m still not comfortable with pregnancy, my mother had a really really bad pregnancy and my doctor say I’m at risk of having the same complications with honestly terrifies me, because of this I suggested a surrogate mother, he didn’t liked this idea because he thinks that the only correct way for a pregnancy is to be natural and that maybe we should get married now and delay having children until I’m no longer selfish and childish.

His attitude towards the issue really surprised me, we rarely argue, when we do he always keeps his cool, and he’s never been aggressive towards me, this time the more I tried to talk reason with him the more angry he became eventually he said that he will just marry me and get other women to have children with and that he will only financially support them but not be present with them that much so I don’t have to see them or raise them, this for me sounds extremely cruel for everyone involved, i told him how ridiculous his idea is and he said that then maybe I should just endure a little of pain and discomfort so he can have a legacy.

Eventually I suggested breaking up since I’m willing to sacrifice but he isn’t, he started getting verbally aggressive at this because he doesn’t consider our sacrifices of equal value since for him his legacy and fulfilment as man is more important than the possible complications of pregnancy, and that if I was that much against being pregnant then I just had to stay by his side and love him while he gets other women pregnant, I couldn’t take it anymore and I left the house.

I’ve been staying at an hotel for a few days and everyday I’ve been getting messages from his friends and family saying that it’s time for me to grow up and accept that I will eventually need children, I no longer know if I’m in the right, so I wanted advice from people who can see this more objectively,

¿should I break up with him or try to make things work again?