I think I am going to be single forever because I cannot find a man that will respect my boundaries and that I am not scared of.

I have imaginary dates with my late husband every week

I just wanted to let this out. Ive never told anyone about this.

Im a 36 year old woman. I lost my husband 11 years ago. When he was still alive, every Saturday night we would go out on date. We started when we were 16, every single week until we were 25 and he was taken from me.

It was really really hard for me. I had more than a few grippy sock vacations. I broke everything in my home out of sadness, fortunately it was after i moved a lot of his things to our bedroom so nothing of his was harmed. I was in grief counseling for 4 years until they finally gave me off to another therapist who i see twice a week. All i ever talk about is how much i miss my husband.

The only thing that brings me happiness is my loyalty to him. Its something im very very proud of. Even though hes gone i still wear my rings and ive stayed 100% faithful to him, and im going to continue to do that for the rest of my life. It makes me happy when i think about it. One day when i see him in heaven ill be able to tell him i stayed faithful to him and im still his wife forever. I have his senior portrait on my bedside, along with his ashes. Its the first and last thing i see everyday.

One thing that helps me cope with it is kind of weird. I have imaginary date nights with him. I put on his favorite dress, ill put on my makeup and do my hair. I cook one of his favorite meals, I make both of us a plate and i just sit there and eat and i pretend he’s across from me and were eating together. Then i pour both of us a glass of champagne. Ive always hated the taste, and before he passed I was 100% sober my entire life, but it makes me feel like im conntected to him when i drink it. He loved champagne. Ill pretend hes drinking it too and we’ll get a little tipsy together

Then the next morning i wake up and i clean everything up. I clean up his food that obviously was never touched and his full glass of champagne and i go about my day.

I know it seems crazy, but its something that brings me joy. It makes me happy.

And please dont try to convince me to not stay loyal to my husband. Staying loyal to him brings me true happiness and if you have a problem with that please just keep that to yourself.

Dating when you’re unemployed is impossible

Covid hit my industry hard and I’ve spent the last couple of years cycling through bursts of employment followed by layoffs and long stretches of unemployment.

I really want to meet someone and start building a life together, but it feels impossible right now.

One of the first questions people ask each other on a first date is, “so what do you do for work?” “I’m unemployed” isn’t very attractive response, even when you’re a straight woman.

I worry guys will think I’m using them, or they’ll judge me for not having a job. Hell, I judge myself. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed.

Five years ago I thought I’d be engaged or married by now. I can’t move forward with my life until I have some financial stability, but I just can’t seem to catch a break.

Plus it’s not like I’m getting any younger. I don’t want kids so that’s not a concern, but I know for women the older you get, the harder it is.

I feel like I’m watching the life I want slip away.

My bf is currently having financial issues right now due to bad choices.

I sympathize with him and I’ve offered to help as I am in better standing as of the moment but he refuses every time.

He says he’ll figure something out himself, so I leave it alone and do not bother him too much about it.

I used to have a part time job at a restaurant around the Clarke Quay/Chinatown area during my study days and often work the dinner shift.

There’s this other colleague of mine who is a working adult that frequently does the dinner shift with me but has a full time job in the day.

The job does not pay very well, just average at $10/hour and so I have always wondered why he would want to come and work in the evening after his full time job ends.

One day while on the job, we went for a break together.

Out of curiosity, I asked him for the reason why was he working so hard and holding two jobs.

He shared with me that the reason why he came to do this part time job is that his salary from the full time job is credited to the wife’s bank account.

His wife insisted that the salary from the full time job be credited to her account because she thinks that he does not know how to control his money.

He would then receive an allowance of $800 a month for his food and transport from his wife while she would save the rest for him.

He said that he does not know how to survive on $800 a month and so decided to take up a part time job to earn some extra cash and even though the amount is not very significant, it helps him to pay some entertainment bills when he meets his friends.

He mentioned that he did not tell the wife about him working a part time job as she would most definitely take his salary away also and so he lied to her that he has to work late at his full time job everyday as the company is considering to promote someone to take up a higher post and he did not want to miss the opportunity.

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I recently met a girl friend of mine for dinner, we had not met for a few years as our schedules constantly clashed.

After dinner, I asked her if she wanted to go for dessert or for some drinks and she said that she did not want to drink this week as she was drinking almost every other day.

I probed further as I knew her as someone who does not really drink and will only drink socially and she began to share the reason of why she was always drinking everyday.

Says it is because boyfriend is ugly

She mentioned that her boyfriend would always stay over at her place everyday and every time when they stayed together, the boyfriend would always want to ‘do it’ with her.

However, she does not feel like doing it with him because he is fat and ugly and because of her constant refusal, he has quarreled with her many many times.

The noise from the quarrel has woken up her family many times and to not disrupt her family’s sleep, she just decided to go ahead and let him do what he wants but because she does not like the idea of her fat and ugly bf ‘doing’ her, she would drink to get drunk so she can sleep through the process.

She went to say that she could not even go out to meet her friends because her fat and ugly bf always controls her and that she could only meet me because he was at reservist that week.

Cannot accept change

I asked her if she could not stand him anymore, why did she not just end things with him.

She told me that whenever she mentions it, he would always promise to slim down and change his bad behaviour or he would always use his life to have a ‘hold’ on her.

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My friend and I always chiong Thai Discos in Singapore together as we go for the same reasons, Siam Bus and the Chinese ManYao music.

While I enjoy the company of the Thai girls inside, I am not a gullible as my friend.

To me I know the girls are mostly here for work and to make a quick buck and whatever they say when they entertain you cannot be taken seriously but my friend sees it otherwise and is always ‘helpful’ towards them.

I still remember the last time when we received a payout in our bank due to the GST voucher being credited into our banks, my friend jio-ed me to go and chiong at our regular hangout.

I guess the Thai girls also know that we just received our GST voucher as they were more aggressive in pushing for flowers and sales that day.

After drinking and some flirting, my friend’s Thai girl started sobbing and told him that their family’s cow in her hometown is ‘sick’ and could not plough the fields.

She then asked my friend if he could lend her some money from his GST voucher for her to send home first so that the cow at home can be treated and continue to work for their family.

She went on to say that if the cow does not work, her family will suffer as they would not be able to farm their crops to sell and they still have a lot of things to pay off like repairs for the roof at their home and her brother’s education.

Seeing her so called ‘plight’, my friend logged into his iBanking to see if he had received his GST voucher and asked her for her Paynow.

He then transferred her his whole GST voucher amount and an extra $500 for her for her ‘sick’ cow and also extra money for her family.

Of course, she hugged him happily and thanked him for his money.

After two to three days, we went back to the Thai Disco and was told by the other Thai girls that my friend’s Thai girl had ran away.

They also mentioned that she has been using this trick on many other guys ever since the GST voucher was given to us.

However they also said that only one more guy plus my friend parted with their money for her.

While my friend had only gave her around $800, the other guy gave her almost $3,000.

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