I’m a nurse and have been working more hours for the past 6 months to be able to save money to fix something in our house. I’ve saved up to 8,000 in my account and since my husband hasn’t worked since 2020, I’m trying to balance rent and utility payments.

My husband is a gamer, and so are his friends. the only difference is that all his friends are well off and they can afford expensive gaming gear and PCs. They mentioned wanting to go on a trip for some game convention overseas next week and invited my husband but he initially refused. though, he really wanted to go but complained about how his friends bought fancy gaming laptops while all he has is old gear. He asked if I could “lend” him $6,000 dollars so he could buy a new set of laptops and gaming gear but I refused because $6,000 for a laptops is crazy expensive, especially for someone who doesn’t work. he got upset and accused me of holding his employment over his head when he couldn’t help it.

Anyway, I thought we were over this argument but I had discovered that he had pulled the $6,000 dollars out of my account and purchased the set behind my back. I went home and exploded on him. He swore he’d return the money once he gets back from his trip but, I told him he had no right to take the money and spend it while the toilet’s plumbing needs fixing. he said the toilet doesn’t require $6,000 dollars either but the kids room was affected too. I demanded that he return the laptop or pay me the 6,000 right there and then. He told me I was being unfair to him and that he’s feeling stuck because his friends can afford to buy whatever, while he’s being yelled at for wanting something for himself for once.

I told him to get a job and buy himself whatever, he tried to tell me he’ll pay me when he finds a job which is AFTER he gets back from his trip but I refused.

He kept begging me to let him just go on the trip and “we’ll” figure it out later but I said no. if it wasn’t for something as important as the house flooding with leakage problems, I would’ve maybe waited but he’s saying I’m a crazy wife and controlling of his life.

My ex gf who is 9 years older than me (Im 32) have a complicated history for a few years back. We were a long-distance relationship, only met sometimes every few months. We broke up then a few months later I was contacted by a guy who says he’s her husband. So she was married the whole time. And 5 months pregnant. We did a paternity test to find out I’m the real father.

Her husband obviously didn’t want another man’s child in his life. I guess she agreed too. We worked something out where I’d get sole custody of my son, she wasn’t interested in any sort of visitation either.

Later on, when I met and married my wife, we wanted her to officially adopt my son. My ex consented to it.

Barely last year she made contact for the first time in years. Saying for years she’s felt guilt for not being part of his life, and it was mostly due to her fear of losing her husband. And that she got sick last year which she said made her realize her regrets about not wanting to be in his life. My ex asked if we would let her visit him and get to know him.

She and her husband are in agreement with this and they’ve worked past their issues, or so she told me. My Son is 6 and while he’s still young he does know he has another biological mom even if to him my wife is his mommy. We never wanted to hide that from him.

My wife and I had many serious discussions about this, we agreed on trial visits where we are there to supervise everything. It’s been like this for almost 10 months. Visits are sometimes with her husband there too. I honestly thought we could make something work.

2 weeks ago she took him out to the park. My son came back he was acting differently. Then he randomly asked me if I’m not his dad. That caught me off guard, I told him of course I am where did he get that question. What he told me was her husband told him to call him dad and my ex encouraged it. When we confronted my ex about it she thought it would make things less complicated for my son, also so her husband would feel included in his life.

But I told her he’s not anything to my son, certainly not his dad and all it did was confuse my son. Unless my son wants to, neither of them are allowed to dictate what he calls him. My ex was really choosing to die on this hill because her husband is going to be part of my son’s life as well and “deserves” being recognized for it. I just got so angry and decided neither of them are allowed visits now. Now she’s crying we’re keeping him from her when we should understand it’s hard on her husband too and she’s just trying to find a way to meet him in the middle.

The reason why I ask if I’m in the wrong is because how hard my mom has advocating for my ex to be allowed back because she did lose her child after all. And even if she wasn’t in his life she still feels a connection to him, so it would be cruel to keep them apart.