I’m going to have an abortion because my (ex)fiancé cheated

I’m 29f and he’s 31m. We’ve been together for 7 years and engaged for 9 months.

Too keep a long story short, I found out my fiancé was cheating on me when I was about 10 weeks. He has slept with multiple women for what looks like at least the last two years. I never wanted children but he really wanted to be a father.

After the initial shock of finding out he was cheating, I had to think rationally. Could I really let myself be tied down to this man for the rest of my life? Could I trust him to raise a child with me? The answer was no. I gave him the best years of my life, and I wasn’t going to give him anymore. I knew I’d resent the child. I just wanted to move on and never see him again.

I told him I was going to get an abortion. He begged me not to. He apologised and said we could work it out and all he wants is to raise a family together. He swore I’d be a great mom and he’d be a great dad. He said even if we didn’t work out he’d be there 100% for the child and that he could be the one with full custody and I could have visitation.

I told him that my mind was made up and that he should’ve thought about that before cheating. He threatened to sue me if I went through with it.

My parents weren’t on board either. They say they’re pro-choice but think that me getting an abortion is purely for revenge and not “for the right reasons.” I don’t know. Maybe it is maybe it’s not. I can’t t have a child with this man. Not after this. I can’t do it. I can’t even carry the baby and give him full custody. Why should I put my body through that after what he did? Why would I give him what he wants after he’s ruined me?

It’s scheduled for next Friday. There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is what I should do. No one but my sisters and close friends seem to agree with me. My male friends are against it. My (ex)fiancé is still begging me not to and I know he’s speaking to a lawyer. The next week isn’t going to be easy but I’ll do what I have to. I gave this man the best years of my life. I gave him everything I had and everything I could.

For 7 years I’ve loved him unconditionally. I cannot have this child with him.

Father got arrested for drunk driving and now our family income is severely affected

So what are our options now? My father got arrested for driving with an alcohol level of 37 and we’re waiting for him to be charged in court about 1 month from now.

His licence will likely get revoked which will be detrimental as he works as a Taxi Driver. Currently, he earns around 4k-5k a month which allows us to barely scrape by with all the loans (Credit cards,housing etc) hence our savings as expected is insufficient.

My family consists of me(17M), my sister(6F), my father(47M) and my step-mom(31F). With our main source of income soon to be gone, what can we do now? My sister will be entering primary school next year but we shouldn’t need to set aside much considering the large subsidies.

My school fees are also being funded by a scholarship hence it need not be taken into consideration as well. My step-mom currently earns around 1.5k which isn’t very sufficient although significant.

My father’s highest education level is an ‘O’ level certificate hence our options are extremely limited and few. Most listings I’ve observed online offer positions of around 2k-2.8k which is insufficient although understandable.

I’ve considered working part-time and I’ve calculated that I’ll be able to earn around 1.2k per month if I were to work on weekends and 12 hour shifts.

However this will obviously come at the cost of my grades but as my current GPA is 4.0 I’ll be able to tank a few low grades although that is an outcome I wish to avoid.

My father currently is looking on the bright-side of only receiving a warning as he was only caught due to a roadblock and not reckless driving as well having no prior convictions.

However I’m looking at the realistic side and thus am trying to formulate a plan before he’s hit face-first with reality.

I understand that driving while under the influence is unacceptable and can lead to disastrous outcomes. Hence I also understand that some of you may view this as a form of bad parenting and although my father isn’t perfect, he is still my father and he has always tried his best to provide the best for us despite our circumstances.

With all of the stress that is piled onto him, a momentary lapse of judgement was bound to happen. Therefore I’m asking you to please refrain from making insincere comments as it’ll not be beneficial at all.

My brother M passed away a few months ago. He had no wife or kids. We have another brother and my dad in the family. Much to everyone’s surprise he made me the sole beneficiary of his life insurance policy (about $30k left after funeral expenses paid.

I make $35k per year and have a wife and 2 kids. We live simply and are out of debt. We were very close to M and he loved my kids. He also valued simple debt free life. We talked a lot about finances.

Our other brother K makes $100k per year. He has no family. And a gambling problem.

Our dad has $80k in savings and makes about $60k per year in retirement. He pays about $2k per month for my mom in a nursing home (the rest comes from her pension and other things).

K and my dad say I should give the money to them or at least some of it. They want $25k.

My reasoning is that M could have split it up on his beneficiary forms but chose not to. I can think of a few reasons (K’s gambling, our shared financial values, to help support our kids, etc.)

There is also about $30k in savings and investments that will go to my dad automatically as his next of kin, minus some bills. They want me to pay the bills with life insurance so they can keep all the money from the estate.

My dad and brother are so angry they won’t hardly speak to me over it. And when they do they just yell at me over the money.

My bf and I have a joint savings account. I’m a student while he’s been working for two years so he’s the only one contributing to the account.

A few months ago, a good friend of mine wanted to buy something expensive so she borrowed $700 from me. My personal savings account has very little money so I used money from the joint account to lend my friend.

My friend told me that she will return me the money by last month but she hasn’t done so. I’m not surprised because she has a habit of forgetting to return money

e.g. whenever we go out to eat, I would pay for the meal first but she would often forget to return me her portion of the bill. Although she is a mutual friend of me and my bf, my bf dislikes her because of this.

Today, my bf asked me if my friend has returned me the $700. When I told him that she hasn’t returned, he asked me to remind her to return the money.

I told him that it would be embarrassing to ask her to return the money. Thus, he said he can help me to ask her to return the money.

$700 is not a big amount so I don’t understand why he is so determined to get the money back. Granted, that $700 comes from the joint account, which consist of his money.

But since it is a joint account, the money inside also belongs to me. That gives me the right to do whatever I want with the joint account.

If my friend really forget to return the money then so be it. I would just take it as I bought a $700 gift for my friend. No big deal.

I really hate that my bf is so calculating. Why would he even want to ask her to return the $700? It’s not even a lot of money. I really hate guys who are calculating. Should I just dump him?

I’m currently interning at a small start-up for about a month and everything is great including the workload and my intern supervisor is very helpful.

However, there is a male colleague (30+) who is texting me at a frequency that is quite high, almost everyday, and we talk about a lot of things besides work.

He also chooses to take his seat near me whenever possible, such as when we hotdesk, or when we go for lunch.

Is it possible for a guy to do this without any romantic intent?

He has just married 2 months ago and appears to have a good relationship with his wife on social media.

Here are what netizens think:

• Suggest you always slip in to talk about his wife during your conversations. If he doesn’t like it, then it’s time you steer clear from him. He might just be looking for benefits.

• Stay away from attached & married men as they will ruin your life.It’s better to have a romance relationship with high quality men who know what they are doing.

• He wants to sleep with you. Unless you want to be a mistress else stop wasting your time on married and attached men. In such situations, there’s no such thing as a platonic friendship with a married man. He got time to text you daily? Got text his mother or wife daily too?

• He might be thinking you are young and naive so easy for him to try his luck if he can get into your pants, on the pretext of “helping” you at work. This sorta guy wants a wife at home and gf at work. Seriously be on your guard, cos if anything happens, they are the first one to say – what responsibility do u want me to take?  Willing parties eh.

I’m with my girlfriend for 3 years. She’s been bugging me to marry her and its really starting to stress me out.

I didn’t tell her I actually have a 6 figure savings accumulated from my deceased father’s will on top of my own assets and let her think I’m a pauper. She even gave me money once when she thought my family finances was tight but I rejected it. A part of me decided she is the one after she did that.

My mother told me to never flaunt our wealth so as not to attract the wrong people so I guess I start to feel funny about money since young. We mostly go to hawkers and only visit restaurants when there is a special occasion like birthdays or Christmas.

Our dates are usually very low costs. I like that when the weather permits, we have the habit of alighting earlier from the train or bus and spend more time walking together and talking to reach our destination.

I lied to her that we can’t afford a flat yet and she showed hand me her savings and say she can and kept asking me not to waste her time in a joking way. Her family is pretty well to do. Her dad even gifted her a car when she got promoted but she sold it as she’s not confident driving.

The problem I have with my gf may be insignificant to some couples. I don’t really have any major red flags or issues about her. Even if she’s not my gf, I would think of her as a great person to have around.

I know other men will find her very eligible given her looks, personality and family background. My mother loves her and already considers her a daughter in law. But I have a but. I’m not ready. We are in our late 20s.

How do you become ready? I’m so in love with her but I just couldn’t make myself get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage.

I fell in love with someone who is 40 yo, still lives at home. I have recently found out alot about him that gives me doubts. He takes money from his parents.

Every 3-4 months one of his parents’ FD accounts matures and they ‘give’ him the interest. It’s over $8k each time, all of their savings.

He works part time, 30 hours a week cos he wants more time for hobbies. He takes home around $2k per month. He doesn’t give his parents any money.

His almost 70yo mum buys everything for him including vitamins, daily food and snacks, all his meals, soap, shampoo, etc. He doesn’t do any chores. His parents even gave him the master bedroom cos he is now ‘grown up’.

Parents are middle class, his mum still works but wakes up early every morning to make or heat up a huge breakfast for him and usually buys his dinner. He will skip lunch so he has more disposable income for hobbies.

Personality wise he’s fun, easy to talk to and we have a similar sense of humour and hobbies. I’ve felt so comfortable with him compared to any other guys I dated. I enjoy his company alot. But long term?? I don’t know.

He is not generous with me. Forgets to pay me back for meals, etc. He doesn’t have any plans to move out of his parents flat anytime soon cos he said it’s quite comfortable. How can there be a future with this guy?

Gift exchanges: matching price?

Deeper into adulthood and learning that friendships dwindle overtime.. so grateful for those that’s still stay. There’s this group of friends that I have still continues to gift birthday presents to each other yearly; someone will suggest something and everyone else just fork out the amount. which is a good idea to remain updated with one another and I feel there’s something to look forward to. But here’s what on my mind:

(Is this being calculative or I need to find better friends?)

The gift we got one another is usually small and that’s alright. each time we prepare a gift for the person, I always make it a point to match the amount we each spent on the prior person. While I didn’t state this out obviously but will push the choice towards the one that best matches, a few dollars off is alright. I just didn’t think that one should feel shortchanged. However I can’t help but notice that for the past few years, the items I receive could be almost less than half the amount we spent total on the prior persons…

Disclaimer- I wasn’t the one to initiate this whole gift exchange. Though this is one of my top love language.

It’s small gifts so it’s not that im calculative about the amount but I am dumbfounded how no one else could’ve thought to get something around the same range? Like check the chat history. Isn’t that how budgets for Christmas exchange exist too?

Tbh I didn’t mean to search up the amounts until once my mum commented why I received a certain present when she knew previously how much (value) of the item I sent the birthday girl before.

Im someone who would surely fill up 90-101% of the budget given in my gift for someone even if it’s not someone close..

Do you guys who still do gift exchanges try to keep to the same budget for each person? Or you just get whatever?

Sometimes I can’t help but feel under appreciated in the group. I wonder if I should also try to halt this gift exchange thing… or try to broach the topic, what do you guys think?