How to get over my spouse cheating on me?

Its been almost a year since I reconciled with my spouse over his cheating with a young girl and although we are working back on the trust.

It felt like my esteem has took a heavy blow given I am much older as compared to the third party and I am sure to most broken relationships over cheating reasons-you will tend to always snoop at the third party to really figure out why and what attracts him over in the first place right?

I know I need to move on and love myself more, which I tried but I cannot help to sometimes snoop (& compare)? Its so hard and killing me inside.

Here are what netizens think:

• i’d always think whoever dates someone married aren’t normal in terms of morale, IQ, EQ and has no self respect/ego/ self discipline. i mean if the person is all that good.. so many singles out there.. why lower themselves to date unavailable ones and be a sidechick? lmao. love is never blind. it should also reflects how dumb your husband is for having an affair. it’s not about you. if he no longer loves you, he should outright leave you and not go for easy way to satisfy his whatever needs. he betrayed his wife and still has the face to go back to her.. so shameless IMO.

• Everyone of us have different sides but it don’t define who we are as a person. Unfortunately due to the situation, the negative side of you came out…. Being sneaky, suspicious and so on. But that’s not who you are. I hope you learn to detach and understand in life, there’s always ups and downs. It’s always about the lessons learn to know ourselves better and build a better version. I hope you can focus on yourself to gain confidence again. Know who you really are. Becoming someone you are not is because your environment /people brought out the worst side of you. What done can never be undone but we all have a choice to measure what works in our favor for now and future happiness.

• Forgiving takes a generous heart and mental strength. In addition, trust broken will always has a crack. It is up to both you and him to rebuild what’s lost and gone all over as long as you are willing. Comparing only makes one feel in doubt. Trust yourself more as your worse half (not better half as he cheated) decided to come back to you ultimately. You are the final winner.

My f…. stupid 21-year-old son racked up $15K in credit card debt. Now the wife and I are arguing over it. What to do?

He basically got a normally low limit credit card, but he took cash advance from his credit and did not pay or he paid a minimum. Now the card has gone up to almost $15k.

My wife just wants us to pay it off. I said NO WAY, he’s an idiot that needs to learn his lesson, even if it’s going to cost him $50K over the next however many years.

What would you do?

Another thing I thought of was loaning him the $15K with 20% interest on it and minimum payments.

That way he’s still learning his lesson about why building 4 computers when you don’t have a job is a bad idea, but it won’t destroy his credit score.

I’m not sure if that’d be a big enough wake-up call though.

Here are what netizens think:

• Whether you decide to pay it back or not, there’s no way he’s keeping the 4 computers. Selling them would be a good way to start.

• My parents loaned me money to help buy a house. We’ve drawn up contract, I’ve set up a direct debit. All official. That’s the way to do it. Either do it properly or don’t bother.

• I’m a full-time engineer and my credit limit is $2000 on my card. I’ve never asked for an increase because I don’t need that sort of credit.

• Here’s what I would do

1. Make him sell the computers, any other big item he doesn’t need.
2. Pay off the rest of the debt as a loan to him.
3. Make him get a job
4. Impose certain restrictions while that loan is in place – no CC until it’s paid off, no new computers etc.
5. Sit down with him and try to work out how the fuck it happened and talk to him like an adult who made a mistake, since that’s what he is, while also trying to see if I was personally responsible for 

I had an interview for a job as an electrical engineer, specifically dealing with power systems.

The interviewer asked if I would draw a transformer on the whiteboard that was in the room and explain how it works. “okay” I said, “a transformer.

Do you want Optimus prime or megaton?”.

The interviewer was old and obviously had no clue what I was talking about, so I proceeded to say my sorries, and neverminds and drew a transformer with a beat red face.

I am sure that I looked pretty stupid and never ended up getting the job.

That was the first time I had an interview and I felt like the dumbest person in the world.

For those that don’t know a transformer is a component that transfers electrical energy. While the other Transformers is a cartoon and movie of robots that can change from a car into a robot.

Here are what netizens think:

• If it makes you feel any better it took me a minute to understand what you did wrong when I was reading this because I initially thought “why would he ask you to draw one of the transformers?”

• Bro you watched too many cartoon or movie liao.

• “Transformer, Moron in disguise”

• There was this one time I was so nervous in the interview and I was told to take a seat and I sat on the floor, your story makes me feel less dumb.

I know there are people out there who have loaned friends money before. My main question is do you regret it or not and if so why?

Long story short; I am doing fairly well for myself, 22 have a large savings and am paying off my own stuff.

That being said I have loaned friends money to stay out of debt many times, as I already went down the road and it is hard to rebound. 90% of the time they make it up but there always are cases where they just can’t.

• Most recent situations:

• My best friends kitten had broken its leg and I covered the medical bill as my friend had no way to pay it.
• I noticed my friend struggling to pay his car instalments this month so I decided to halve his payment and asked him to set a budget for his pot use.
• An old friend will generally come to me if she ever needs help and 9 times out of 10 she repays any loan. However her uni classes interfered with her work schedule and she is in the process of looking for a new job, so I won’t see the money anytime soon. I told her to just focus on school as the loan I gave her was for her books.

Just want to clarify, in my situation I always can part with the money I loan out. I don’t give my friends a timeline or anything to pay me back, I just say here is the $$ pay me back whenever you can if you don’t I won’t be helping you next time.

The thing I’m trying to find out is if people have good/bad stories about loaning money to a friend.

Just a bit of a rant I guess.. My dad is based in Europe but travels around a lot, mainly to the Middle East and Asia.

That usually means travelling the ‘right way’ round the globe, even flying to Sydney from EU usually means via Singapore, Istanbul or Hong Kong. Point is, he flies a lot, transits a lot, no problems anywhere.

Today he flew to New Zealand via LA and says it was the biggest nightmare and/or joke ever. It’s just a technical stop in LA to refuel the plane, you get off, sit at the gate for half an hour and get on again. Technically nothing to do with the USA at all. But what does Homeland Security do? Transit visas, fingerprinting, passport stamping, long queues. If you’re flying economy, you actually have to exit the air-side, get your bags, and go check-in again. Don’t know how many of you travel a lot, but that’s just ridiculous.

It is pointless, creates massive hassle and annoyance, and probably costs tax-payers a fair bit of change.

Here are what netizens think:

• The TSA is a complete joke and a complete waste of taxpayers dollars. I was on a military charted airline with nothing but military on it but we still had to go through the TSA security dance routine. The TSA’s job is to stop terrorists. I doubt they will find one terrorist on a charted plane full of military people. After a year of fighting real terrorists, I doubt these TSA clowns would know what to do with a real terrorist other than shit in their pants.

• For the record, the TSA has stopped or arrested exactly ZERO terrorists yet cost the taxpayers hundred of billions.

• Bobian, it’s a third world country pretending to be a first world country.

I am a boss, and I try really hard not to be an a-hole. In fact, I probably try too hard.

In 8 years, I’ve denied time off exactly one time, and that was because every other person on the team was already going to be off that day (around a holiday) and the person didn’t ask until the last minute.

The thing I have learned is that it’s not always your boss that’s the a-hole, it’s your boss’s boss, or someone higher up the chain.

My boss is a relatively okay guy, but when he’s boss gets pissed, I get it from my boss. I try to shield my people from it as much as I can because I think putting additional stress and pressure on people is counter-productive to them doing their job.

My personal philosophy is that I work to live, I don’t live to work. I take it very personally when my people need to put in extra time, and often find myself putting in as much or more than them to compensate.

Since this goes against my personal philosophy I end up very conflicted and start daydreaming of a job with no responsibilities. Then things get better and I forget about it.

It’s not that my job sucks every day, but there are stretches where it really does. Striking the balance between caring enough and caring too much is very difficult.

These inner conflicts manifest themselves as me being very protective of my people. If it’s something I don’t want to do, I feel horrible asking them to do it. The main priority in my life is not to make a public corporation richer.

Here I am complaining about a well paying job where I’m (too) busy and a key piece on a key team in a company that is doing pretty well.

I hear from people that got laid off and can’t find a job for months, so I should consider myself lucky. Can anyone else relate, or am I just being a huge wuss?