Just a rant… My bf and I met through CMB. We’ve been tgt for 8 months.

At first, he was very gentle and nice to me. But recently, he is no longer the man I thought he was.

He easily got triggered over small things, such as me teasing him and making fun of him. Things I usually said before and it was ok but now he would be angry and go cold.

Last week, I happen to think about CMB and re-download the app. I just wanted to see what we talked about last time, cuz I missed that… But to my surprise, I saw his profile changed. It was subtle, but I noticed 1 photo has been removed since the last time when he said let’s uninstall the app.

Needless to say, I was shocked and frozen and shattered.

I knew he got his problems but I never imagined he could cheat on me. In my mind, there are hundreds of questions. Could it be that the app bugged since he hasn’t logged in for a while? Or did he really log in to find someone new?

I have been keeping it quiet but it’s killing me inside. I know I can’t let go of him as it will hurt me too much, but I really now think I’m the only one who’s in love, and I’m deceiving myself. And that I should get out of this relationship and end this hurt.

Here are what netizens think:

• Detective time: Wait , you can download the app again but he cannot?

• You talk to him about it la. You ask us, we ask who?? Cannot be we go download now and go undercover for you ma.. Or should we?

• The trust is no longer there. And a relationship cannot be built on the foundation of lies and insecurities. If u have your doubts, clear them. Otherwise, pls move on.

Recently I became a department trainer to a new colleague. The new colleague is almost 20 years older than me who has made a mid-career switch from a blue collar role — considered as an upward progression.

Our job role is quite similar to a call centre / coordinator. You need to be able to write reports, answer calls, communicate with many different parties, and know how to respond to different and dynamic situations. It isn’t a very specialised role, and you can survive as long as you know how to Ctrl + F, Google, and apply common sense. Resources are plenty, you just need to know how to find them instantly and where to find them.

This new colleague is very hardworking and very determined. He took a lot of notes and asked a lot of questions. He also stayed late to review the notes he took.

However, I encountered some issues that made me doubt whether he is truly suitable for this job role — his pace, thought processes, etc.

And despite the diligence he put in his notes, I found that when it comes to applying the things he had noted, he couldn’t find what he had written down or took too long to get the info he needed. Or he’ll just totally forget about what he had written.

Another worrying issue is his English proficiency. I asked him to write a report and that report was unreadable to a point where he also didn’t know what are the things that he had written.

While I do my best to coach him, I am also getting increasingly frustrated and helpless of the situation. I have to be wary of not hurting his ego and be very patient while coaching him, and at the same time I’m also bogged down by my own work and the tight training timeline for him.

At his current pace, I’m quite certain that he would not pass his probation. And if this is the case, I think that it is better for him to consider other career options because he also has a young family to feed. But it is not right for me to tell him that as his trainer.

That being said, this is also my first time coaching someone, and there’s still a lot of things I need to learn about coaching people. I have a short fuse and am not known to be very patient, so this is also an opportunity for me to develop myself.

How can I move forward with this situation?

Excuse me if this seems choppy. I’m a little numb. Not even sure if this is the right sub to post on.

my boyfriend left me and all i can think about is how happy i am to have my bed to myself again

won’t get too into detail. basically, my freshman year i met a guy, we hit it off. fast forward four years, we live together, and we’re having some relationship problems. every couple fights, i know, but not like this.

his sister lied to him and said i cheated on him (i didn’t). the time and place she said i was was completely wrong, and when i was allegedly at a hotel, i was actually attending my mother’s funeral.

i think the original accusation is when my love for him started to die.

despite the fact that there was a lot of proof in my favor, he never fully believed me. this came to light in every small argument we ever had. always some snide comment or petty implication.

tonight, a couple hours ago, he made a “joke” about the hotel i allegedly cheated at. after that i realized that this man has become nothing but an infant child that i care for on the daily.

and he can’t even offer me any respect in return. we had a LONG, painful fight and when he finally left, i realized how exhausted i was. i laid down in MY bed. i’ve never been more comfortable than i am right now without that selfish baby next to me.

edit: hello everybody. i probably should have put in the original post that my boyfriend had no malicious intent in not attending my mothers funeral.

he worked hard and just couldn’t spare the hours, at the time he was very apologetic and while to this day, i wish he went with me, i understand that it’s not always about me.

i wrote this post last night, full of emotion. maybe it wasn’t mature of me to call him names, but i meant what i said and i can’t be sorry for it.

thank you all for the support and the award. god bless you all.

Seeking advice and opinions!

My boyfriend and I am in an LDR for 6 months in already.

He is currently working overseas in New Zealand. Before he left, he lent me his laptop so that I can use for my own needs, as my current laptop is spoilt.

I started to have this habit of logging on to his emails and WhatsApp chat every day on his laptop to look at his mails, his texts and who he is chatting with. When I am free and miss him, I would scroll through his past chats with his friends back to the period before we started dating.

I came to understand about his past habits such as always going for massages, drinks and clubbing (from what I know he does not do these now since we started dating), and also knew about one of his flings with a girl he met online. I actually feel bad for snooping in on his chats but I felt that it made me know more about how he was in the past. I would say currently in our rs, he does not have red flags.

He always update me about his whereabouts, even when he goes to drink with his friends. I also corroborated with the text he sent one of his friend when they were meeting for a drink, and confirmed that he did update me the same day that he is going for a drink with that friend.

I do get a bit insecure sometimes, when seeing his text with one of the girls at his work (sharing food spots and also her updating him about her test results), but he did tell me stories about this girl (her issues at work etc) when we call each other.

Overall, I feel that its not right for me to snoop in on his texts but then I just cannot control the urge to keep myself updated with his personal life. Haish.

Here are what netizens think:

• You are asking for trouble by snooping in on his chat. I don’t think you feel much better off after you read his past messages. You are worst off and feel more insecure. Do you feel good if he see your past messages.You need to learn fast on what is “respect” before he throws you out.

• The fact that he passes u his laptop to use, shows his trust in u. If u digged into his past without his knowledge, u are betraying tat trust. Besides what’s good for u to know abt his past? Will it improve your relationship? Dun bite off more than u can chew, honestly certain things are best left as it is. The future is more important, past is past.

• Girl. This is call kaypoh. Very common for us ladies.But then again 6mths of LDR is not that long.Hope the curiosity doesn’t kill the cat! All the best!

“So I’ve graduated this year and started working in July.

My company is just not giving me any work. It’s been 3 months now and seems like ppl in my team have a project or sth to work but I just sit at desk literally doing nothing.

I ask my colleagues if I can help out for their work but that’s it. There’s no proper work given to me.

Also idk why but I’m not involved in so many meetings and discussions like wtf is going on?

Is anyone else going through this?”

Netizens’ comments

• R u the son of one of the directors? Where they don’t dare to tekan u 
• Dream job for many people eh 
• I know of friends who joined their companies, end up sitting around for months with no work given
  In the end they moved on to other companies.
• When you have worked for a few years you will beg to have back this job. I mean you could literally get 2-3 jobs worth of salary and just do 1 job. Share company leh
• Since no work assigned to you, when you in the office can sweep and mop the floors and wash the toilets. Surely they’ll be impressed by your hard work 

Many fellow Singaporeans are familiar with the common misinformation like “you can get caned for doing this” and “Singapore is a part of China”.

But the most ridiculous argument I heard was from an American who claimed that Singapore had no freedom because of…… COE.

He claimed that COE was slavery and communism because Singaporeans can’t easily own a car, ignoring all arguments about how screwed our traffic would be if everyone owned a car.

There was also some post about the mirror maze in Jewel Changi Airport. One American remarked that the maze was dangerous because there could be attackers hiding out of sight waiting to attack tourists. Like pls la do you think every other country is as dangerous as yours.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard a foreigner say about Singapore?

“Singapore part of China”

I was in Sweden and an ex-UN staff told me they have not been to “that part of China” when I said I was from Singapore. Another Australian couple looked shocked and quickly told me they work in Singapore and love the city.

Next day during breakfast, the ex-UN guy must have looked up on Singapore and apologized to me.

“Singapore banned Coca Cola

My teacher had a story of when he went to a American bar where upon finding out he was Singaporean, they gave him a free Coca Cola because they thought “Singapore banned Coca Cola” and pited him

“Thought Singapore was a made up country”

I did an exchange in LA, and went for a haircut. The hairdresser (blonde female) asked me where I’m from (not surprising) and I said Singapore (obviously). Not only did she clearly not know what or where Singapore was, she thought I was making it up and just trying to be funny with her!

So a bit more context first – this salon was just outside Hollywood, in a part of LA where a lot of aspiring actors and actresses work part-time while attending drama school or auditioning or whatever. I suspect she was one of them… but I think she thought I was that kind of person too! (I wasn’t, I just happened to be tourist-ing the area.)

Her replies were baffling, like “So, what language do you speak in this Singapore?” or “Does this Singapore have waterfalls and forests?” as if she thought I was improvising this fictional place and she was playing along. When I was thinking back on the conversation later on, I concluded that she thought I was practicing some lines or improv or method acting for an upcoming project or audition, so she thought she was “helping” me by playing along.

So not really ridiculous or whatever, but quite interesting haha.

“Singapore a third world country”

I once met a Canadian couple on board a river cruise in Europe. The husband was a lovely man but the wife knew nothing about Singapore. She must have thought we are from a third world country. Once we were served Sourdough Bread and she said: “Now you can go back and boast to your friends that you had Sourdough Bread.”

Quick background. I (F32) and my husband (M30), together for 12yrs now, have been financially independent of our families for 10yrs now.

During the period when we were depending on our families, we were on the brink of poverty.

We built a good life for ourselves, and we make every decision together. His father and mother are divorced. Father checks in every 6 months or so. He tends to loan money from us and never give it back. Started with $20, $60. Says he’ll give it back in a week, never does. Then loaned 400eur, said he’ll bring the cash within a month, never did, stopped talking about it, and we never asked for the money back – it is my husband’s father after all. But now he’s asking for 2k.

Claims he owes his dentist, and that he’ll repay us in 4 months. I don’t mind helping family. But…

1. I feel like he’s lying to us, he had his teeth done 2 years ago, and we have the same dentist, so we know that’s been paid.
   
2. I don’t mind family saying “hey, I can’t return the cash, can we forget the loan?” but I do mind them pretending nothing ever happened and just not mentioning.
   
3. In my mind, there’s a point and a number that’s too much, even for family, and 2k eur, on top of everything else we chose to let go of… Well, that’s the number for me. Either we lend him the money and he repeats the same routine, or we ask him to give it back, and it seriously strains my husband’s relationship with his dad. Or, we don’t, tell him we have our money locked up in the bank, and that’s it. My husband believes my judgement on this one, and I’m leaning towards just saying no.

What should I do?

A girl shared how she is in a very bad financial situation and had to choose between paying her bills and food, she then slept with a man for money out of desperation.

Here is the story

“For the past few months I’ve been in an awful financial situation. I was living from salary to salary and I didn’t have time to find a second job.

I lost that job and I picked up 2 jobs that barely pay me enough. I do my best but I’m still struggling. So much that I had to choose between paying my bills and paying for food.

I was telling my coworker about it and how I hadn’t eaten a full meal in weeks and he offered to invite me over for dinner. I knew he was hitting on me but I just needed a real meal. So I agreed. I went over to his apartment alone with him and ate. He then offered me 250 dollars if I slept with him.

Being the disgusting piece of trash I am, I reluctantly agreed and experienced 25 minutes of the most degrading and demoralizing moment of my life. I feel so dirty and I’ll never be able to clean of what I did. I never thought this would be my life.

To add insult to injury he only gave me 200. He then slapped me on my behind and sent me off my way like a prostitute.”