Hi everyone. My wedding is booked for Nov 2022. However we can’t seem to quarrel effectively or sort out our issues. There are no obvious deal breakers (no physical abuse, no drugs or smoking kinda thing) he also converted to be a Catholic for me although he doesn’t follow or believes super strongly.

I am doing 90% of the wedding planning, when I ask him to follow up on simple things (like inviting people, or scanning photos for childhood montage) it takes weeks even months for him. When I chase him he just says he will do it, when I ask how long he needs he doesn’t stick to it. This tells me that we can’t even work on a project together geez.

I am a direct person, earn more than him (and pay more for the wedding deposits etc, he says he is stressed that I earn more), and have more opinions than him, he’s more suibian. One of the recent things we argued about was him wanting to spend thousands on a Feng Shui master annually and I was trying to convince him otherwise but he said alot of hurtful things like I’m controlling his decisions.

Added: the Feng Shui master was a random shop we went in to try, and he told my bf that I’m supposed to have 3 husbands and that my relationship with him will fail because I push him away, he gets frustrated and cheats on me. Then my bf turns and says see la your fault because you keep controlling me. I’m like wtf? This is a hypothetical situation and it’s my fault?

I cry so much but nothing changes, his words are also hurtful eg: this is why people dislike you, get out of your self-centred cave, everything is all about you, I feel like a bird trapped in a cage. I told him to think whether he really wants to marry me or not since he thinks this way and he thinks I am throwing ultimatums around.

How do you know this person is the one ? Shouldn’t people be happy to be getting married ? I don’t feel happy at all.

Side note: I am slightly committophobic.

I’ve been dating a girl for 3 weeks. I’m breaking up with her already.
My new GF invited me to a dinner wifh her parents. Cool, why not. I’m serious about her so I think it was fine for me to meet them (in my culture, it’s highly encouraged for parents to meet their kids’ new partners regardless if they’re already an adult or not).

When I finally met them, I noticed that her dad was quiet. Like, EXTREMELY quiet. It was like he’s a statue or a ghost. The only time I heard his voice was when he introduced himself to me and it sounded like a whisper.

Her mom, on the other hand, had a booming voice. Her laugh could shake the entire house and her actions and reactions were so over-the-top. I felt awkward and drained of energy just by watching and listening to her.

We ate dinner and my GF and her mom were so loud to the point where they would even scream while laughing so hard while they would slap the table.

But the thing that made me frown was that her mom would hit her dad whenever she would laugh. And it wasn’t a friendly hit, either. It would probably classify as a hard slap every single time. I could see her dad twitch in either pain or surprise, too.

It was hard watching and listening to them so I excused myself to the comfort room to compose myself. When I got out, I saw her dad standing by the hallway and he seems to be waiting for me.

His exact words were, “Be careful. They’re the same. You’ll get hurt in more ways than one.” and then he went back to the dining room.

The entire evening went by with no more words coming out of him. It was literally just her mom talking endlessly.

Those words stuck to me like glue and, even now, I hear it loudly in my head.

It made me see my GF’s red flags so clearly. The way she would casually (and painfully) hit and slap me while laughing or excited, the way she would ALWAYS find something to punch or kick or scream at when she’s angry, and how she would throw things in frustration or whenever she would lose in games like UNO. There was one time where she screamed at my face so loud that I heard ringing in my ears.

The signs are all there, and I pity her dad who’s been enduring that kind of treatment for decades from her and her mom. I truly hope that he gets out of there someday.

That’s all. Wish me luck, guys.

Should I lend my friend money

I have this friend that in recent months I have realised, only contacts me when she needs something from me, never to hang out.

This year we have only spoken twice and both times it was just to ask me to lend her money. She has yet to return me the money I lent her previously.

Naturally I’m already kind of irritated that the only time she thinks of me is when she needs money, if not it’s all crickets from her. Seriously, even now that I’m down with covid, not even a “get well soon”. Just “lend me money”.

Kind of annoyed by her but also wondering if I should just do a good deed and help her.

Am I the a-hole if I say Idw to lend her money although yes I am in a financially secure n stable position and technically I can lend her the money….

What would you do?

Edit: people seem to think I am a guy trying to get into her pants but I’m a girl so no, my friend cannot offer me anything that I want physically.

My wife tracks me using “find my phone”

Me and my wife are married for a long time now. I travel a lot for work and meet a lot of customers before covid.

That includes dinner meeting which usually run late. I have my iPad connected to the same ac as my phone.

In 2019, when I came home once after a dinner meeting , I saw that the find my phone app was in the background.

I have a habit of closing all the background apps when I’m done. I thought my wife must have accidentally opened it.

The same week I had another meeting, I came home and I found the app open in the background again.

So I started checking when the app is running in the background and it’s always when I’m out late or travelling. I decided not to talk to my wife about it since I don’t feel any good coming out of it.

P.s., I always tell her where I’m going, who I’m going with and try to keep her in the loop as much as I can.

Netizens’ comments

• Literally, just talk to her about it. Be up front, hey I noticed that you are checking my location “how come?” You are in a relationship, you should be able to talk about it without games.
• Some nights my boyfriend is late from work. Once he dozed off while driving home and ever since then when I see he’s particularly late home instead of bothering him by calling him (distractions while driving, if at work could get in trouble) I just check to make sure he’s not on the side of a road. Ik not everyone uses it for safety but that’s why we use it
• My husband and I both use it. We use it as a safety tool and a way to know when to prepare for whatever it is we might need. For example if he’s not home when I think he should be, I’ll check and make sure he’s not stuck in a ditch somewhere needing help. He says he does the same when I’m out with friends.

Car rental company is threatening to send legal debt collectors to my house, what should I do?

Hi, I’m currently in a sticky situation where my current company which I have a contract with is refusing to fix the car which I use to work.

Context: I am required to pay weekly rentals until the contract ends which is not until next year April/May.

I had gotten into an accident about 2 weeks ago (fault was with the other party), and ever since then the car has not been fixed.

The company has openly stated that they will not fix the car, and have requested that I come to collect the car in its damaged state as they “do not have enough money from the insurance to repair it”.

Furthermore, the car is somehow more damaged than before and I have photos to prove it.

As I do not want to use the damaged car and the company does not want to fix the car, can they actually legally pursue me?

As far as I have read, no where in the contract forces them to fix the car, and therefore do not know if I have any legal highground here.

Chances of getting an office job with zero qualifications? Specifically in the Admin/HR/Accounting line, but I’d take anything I can get.

I’m currently working full time retail while pursuing a part time degree. Lately it’s been getting harder and harder for me to balance my classes and my work as I’m working full 11 hour shifts. In essence, whenever I’m scheduled to work, it essentially locks me out of doing whatever else on that day, be it finishing my school work/projects or attending classes in general.

Until I’m able to graduate, at the moment I’m setting my sights on a normal 8.30am to 5.30pm office job as it allows me to attend my classes normally, which are always in the evening, and having 2 guaranteed days off on the weekends to do my schoolwork and fulfill real life obligations. More than anything though, I just want to get out of retail. The huge caveat to this is that I have literal zero qualifications for jobs like these as all my prior qualifications have to do with art, designing, or retail.

Most jobs I’ve been browsing on sites like jobstreet do expect a diploma qualification at the minimum even for entry level positions. I haven’t begun sending my resume and portfolio yet but I just want to get some insights for now, because if this doesn’t pan out, I will need to think of a Plan B. Thanks!

Tldr; Looking to transition from retail into a entry level 8.30am to 5.30pm office job in admin/HR/accounting with zero qualifications while pursuing a part time degree. What are my chances of landing jobs like these? And are there any tips to enhance my chances?