I met a girl on tinder and we agreed to meet up.

One hour before the date, she texted me saying that she was stuck somewhere and asked if I could send her $50 to grab over.

My first instinct was that something was a bit fishy: Grab is not cheap, but surely it can’t be $50 right?!

Anyway, if she has no money for grab, can’t she just take public transport? Our public transportation may be crap at times, but 1hr is enough to get to the city centre from almost anywhere in Singapore.

So many questions. Nevertheless, her pictures looked hot, so my small head took over and I paid up anyway.

That was six months ago. Today, I would consider us to be a steady couple. Admittedly my GF does have some financial issues now and then, but I would rather have a GF who is cute and blur about money rather than a GF who is clever and scheming with money.

tldr: Not everything is a scam! Don’t reject girls simply because they ask for money before meeting up.

Netizens’ comments

• You don’t mind having financial issues in the future? Earn 10k spend 10k that is fine with you?
• Tip: Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched
• Nah just drive to fetch her better ..this sounds like a pre scam story …later u see a lot such scam case
• Create an offshore account and send in 50% of your salary monthly. Never tell anyone about it.
  And no joint accounts either.
  Don’t ask, just do it.
• You don’t mind having financial issues in the future? Earn 10k spend 10k that is fine with you?

What should I do with my 1 plus year relationship with my bf? We argue almost every week.

Recently, he got angry with me, saying that I never listen to him whenever he gave advice. One incident that he brought up during the argument was insurance, about how I chose to listen to my insurance agent rather than him.

Even after when I explained to my bf that I trusted the insurance agent and went ahead purchasing the plan because the agent had sufficiently answered all my questions that I bombarded him with, my bf still got angry that I chose to trust a stranger over him ( he was against me purchasing the plan).

Recently, I was scammed of a few hundred bucks because of a stupid mistake that I made, but instead of showing me empathy (which he said he wont give), he scolded me for being naive and trusting.

and this incident was lumped together with the insurance incident and the argument was centered around how i dont listen to him and refuse to submit to his leadership, and how if we were to have a family, he won’t be able to trust me with finances.

The argument became so heated with f words in almost every message from him, even after I tried to appease him by acknowledging my stupid mistake with the scam incident and that I would try to listen to his future advice if it is within reason.

There was once when my bf accompanied me to repair my phone screen, and he advised me to backup my phone in case my data gets deleted during the repair.

I heeded his advice and backup whatsapp and 2 of my most important apps. However, at the repair store, when the repair guy said that my phone will take 2 days to repair and all my data will be gone because he will factory reset my phone, I panicked and asked if I could rethink about repairing my phone.

My bf got pissed and just asked the guy to go ahead with the repair. The repair guy was nice enough to lend me a loaner phone and backup my data to the loaner phone (which took about 2 hrs to backup).

In a text message later that night, my bf said he was angry that I wasted 2 hrs of his time waiting for the loaner phone to back up my data just because i didnt backup my phone like he told me to. He said that he felt that I refused his leadership at the repair store when I said I wanted to rethink the repair.

( Quick question to the ladies: how do u submit to your partner? What does that mean? Totally listen to him without thinking for yourself?)

Lately, with all our arguments, I don’t seem to feel the love in our relationship anymore. I’m conflicted because I can’t imagine my life without him, but I also can’t help but feel that we will not be happy in the long run.

The way he gets angry with me really scares and intimidates me. During our arguments, even after I apologise for whatever mistake he said I made, he will say my apologies aren’t magic, and his anger won’t disappear just because I apologised.

I feel very drained by all those arguments. What should I do? Those arguments seemed petty even as I was typing it, but somehow, they could become full-fledged arguments that last over a few days.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this long post . Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

the issue with myself is that i always feel like i’m broke and will always feel like my savings are not enough. but my partner always assures me that i have more than enough savings and that i do not need to scrimp on the littlest things in life (e.g. wanting to buy from ntuc, and not cold storage).

this is killing me a little because i feel like i’m so obsessed over this idea of not having enough money till i become stingy with myself (eg wanting to buy my first luxury item that i fell in love with but refusing to) and even to the ppl around me as well (eg not treating my friends to meals or buying them gifts even though i can) because i feel like i need to keep as much as money for myself as possible.

but the catch is that its not that i don’t have savings, i do and definitely have enough to even quit my job without having to find another job immediately to not die.

but my inner self just keeps telling myself that my savings balance is definitely not the standard amt that a 25 year old should be having. it should be much higher in comparison to other 25 year olds, girls in particular.

so the point of this confession is to check if a normal 25 y/o female (not born with a silver spoon and stopped asking for pocket money after sec school typa singaporean) should always have at least 100K in their savings (after insurance deductions or monthly bill/expenses).

i do not have 100k at the moment which i feel like partly constitutes to my insecurity abt not having enough because 100k seems to be the baseline for most ppl above 25 so i’m hoping this is not too rude/invasive of a qn and hopefully some may be willing to share their experience as well as savings may be a touchy topic for some.

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Maid borrowed from loan shark, other than making a police report, what else can I do?

Maid went to borrow $300 from a loan shark and my mother received the call demanding $600. I am going overseas today so I cannot do much except for making a police report. Anyone have experienced this before?

Netizens’ comments

1. Revoke her Work Permit with MOM and send her back. Do ask for her details so you can file a lawsuit against her to claim for the damages/losses she caused.
   If possible, speak to the loan sharks and explain to them. You will be surprised some are willing to work out a solution but please don’t pay them blindly. Many loan sharks these days take paying parties as a way to milk more money from you because you are capable of doing so. They will tell you that you have interests to settle and what not and continue threatening you if you stop paying.
   Best is to make a police report so that they can set up frequent patrol to deter the loansharks from harassing you.
2. Did u confirm with ur maid she borrowed the amount? I received a similar call from a ‘loanshark’ too saying my maid borrowed $400 from him and said he will set fire to my place if we dont pay up etc. But i clarified with my maid she said she never borrowed money from anyone, but somehow the ‘loanshark’ had a picture of her WP.
   Called police and told the guy to fk off haha.
   (Editor’s note: Your maid lying to you lah lol)
3. Make a police report, get some acrylic panels and install on the front of your gate in case some runners come by to vandalise or spray paint on the gate. If you have any objects outside your door, move them indoors ASAP.
   If they get the contact details of anyone in your family, get them to ignore all calls from unknown numbers, switch the phone to flight mode if its not needed. Unplug the house phone. Each time a runner shows up, call the police.
   As per the first comment, get the details from your helper before revoking her WP and sending her back so you may claim damages against her.

So today I sent my girlfriend a screenshot of a girl who added me on Facebook from a search because I thought it was weird, and I thought maybe she’d know her.

And she never so I just deleted the request, as I do without a second thought every time someone I don’t know (specifically a girl) adds me.

But on that screenshot, you could see my quick add which was primarily girls. Weird I know, because I know it’s from mutual friends etc, but the only girls I have are my girlfriend’s friends.

Hi guys, so back then when i was young and stupid, i dropped out of sec sch and didn’t manage to get my n level cert.

fast forward 10 years later, i realised i’m going nowhere. i’ve had long periods of being unable to find a job and when i eventually do, they’re all short term part time/event jobs here and there.

i’m basically scraping by living each day as it comes. feels like im wasting my life away, esp when i see my peers achieving milestones.

sooo i decided that i want to go back and get that n level cert that i’ve given up 10 years ago. then a diploma and hopefully after all that, i can make something meaningful out of my life.

anyways i did some research on how to start the process of studying again but i’m still a little confused on my options:

1. register as a private candidate via seab (but only 4 subjects are offered? is that enough for a full n level cert?)
2. go through the general education route via ite, meaning 4 years of study to get the cert?
3. any other possible routes that i don’t know of?

not sure if i can register as a private candidate since i didn’t attempt n levels at all so i technically shouldn’t be “retaking” the subjects as private candidate right? but from the seab website, the only pre-requisite is minimum 15 years old. i feel like i’m missing out on some info somewhere..

would really appreciate any advice and help! thank you!

Netizens’ comments

• If you can try the O level. ITE have a program for people who have not completed their Os. Jia you and atb OP!
• Take the Seab route and take the 4 subjects, when you pass your N levels, then take either O levels or go for ITE. I would suggest to call Seab for advice or go ITE for advice and other alternative pathway. ITE may have some mature students pathway to get ITE cert straight i think. Call them
• You can retake as many times as you want as a private candidate via SEAB, but the minimum age is 15 years old. So if you would like to pursue a ITE course, you must attain at least a N/O level, whichever you want. If you would like to pursue a full-time diploma course, you need a O level.

When I broke up with my bf of 4 years many years back (I was 19), I went onto tinder and met guys from various online platforms to distract myself and to get some form of affirmation that I was still desirable.

I met this one guy (5 years older than me) over a gaming platform and he started to chat with me, invite me for matches, and eventually we developed a friendship. We would meet for lunch like once or twice a week during his lunch break and he would willingly pay for my meal and take the initiative to ask me out.

One night we decided to go for dinner together and we both had a little too much to drink, we did some hanky panky stuff at a park nearby and cabbed to a nearby hotel for more privacy. I was a virgin then, and I wasn’t okay with penetration, other stuff I’m fine, but he forced himself on me. Despite feeling betrayed, it felt good, so we started to have seggs regularly, two to three times a week, up to five times a day. I started to fall for him and kept asking him what was our relationship.

He would hold my hand and kiss my in public, we did everything a couple would do, but he never acknowledged me as his gf. He even told me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship, wasn’t ready for one. But because I didn’t want to lose him, I agreed to maintain our sexual relationship.

Eventually I got tired of this and started to feel disgusted about my behaviour, I was throwing my morals and my whole self away because of my past hurts, so I slowly cut contact and moved on. When he found out I met someone new and got together officially, he called me while drunk and cried about how he misses me and feels like he lost me.

At that point I was angry and annoyed bcos he was the one who didn’t want to commit and made use of me, played me, and now he suddenly misses me?

But anyways over the years, after breaking up w the other bf, I’ve slowly forgiven him because we did have good times and he was very loving to me if u overlook how he used me for seggs. So recently I’ve been missing him a bit and the seggs but I also feel like I shouldnt because it’s disgusting

just wanted a platform to talk about this, none of my friends or family members know about this side of me

Some thoughts I have for women who seek to maintain a blissful marriage:

1. Don’t make your husband your whole world, instead, create your own world and invite him in only occasionally to enjoy it together. In other words, don’t be an open book else men can get bored with you easily. Keep making many friends, do not avoid male friends just to please your husband, it doesn’t do your marriage or career any good.

2. Build your own career, I have seen many wealthy families gone bankrupt in just a blink of eye, so do not seek to marry into a wealthy family as money should not be the reason you marry a man. Normally, the wealthier a man gets, the more likely he is going to stray. I had been advised by my very own cousin who married into a very wealthy family but the husband was] ridiculously promiscuous. This idiotic man even tried to touch my face in front of my other family members at a family event. I immediately pushed his hand away because I did not wish to be touched. Keeping my cousin’s advice at heart, I did not rush into marriage, and even after I got married, I remind my husband every now and then that if I find out that he stray, I will not hesitate to use my scissors and make him cry for mercy. Of course, that is only if he dares to betray me. Otherwise, all is well. He happy, I happy, everyone happy.

3. For those seeking to have children, in my personal opinion, avoid natural birth at all cost! Despite what the gynae or other women friends or family members might tell you about how it can be a less risky or more satisfying birth process, be aware that there is a high chance that natural birth can completely destroy your marriage. I have seen many happy couples broke up a dfew years after the wives gave birth naturally (1 or 2 kids mostly), and most of it were because the men strayed because the wives could no longer satisfy them as before. Who to blame? (Can you blame the guy? Or you blame the lady? You just do not know who to blame, so please make wise choices) I am not a gynae and will not be responsible for your choice, but please think about it and make the most right decision for yourselves.

4. As far as I want to avoid mentioning this, some guys can really be idiotic (or act idiotic) sometimes, and it’s not that they are stupid. Their brains are just wired differently, sometimes they speak without thinking about the causes, circumstances, or consequences. For example, when I was in my previous jobs, I was harrassed by a security guard who kept asking me to go to his house for a massage. I got so terrified at the invitation that I developed phobia and avoided going to work, and eventually decided to just quit the job entirely for my safety. I then took on another job, and guess what, the cycle repeated itself. Just into my second day of work, a colleague kept staring at me and then commented to his other colleague that he’s looking for a wife and asked whether I was already married. The conversation got so wrong, and I was being watched creepily by this male co-worker that I decided to quit that job the very next day.

5. After these two incidences, I found another job but similarly quit after a co-worker told me in my face that he is not happy in his marriage. I didn’t choose to stay in these jobs because I really had no idea what these people will do to me or how they will treat me after I refused their advances. Each of the experience feels terrifying because you’ll feel that the work environment is just not safe for you. If you do not give in, you may be verbally or emotionally attacked at work.

Can the government please do something to keep women safe at work? More can be done to protect women at workplace and keep us safe.

Why do some married men feel the need to go out and “pretend to be single”?