Sometimes I wonder if everyone should just join tech sector. I am 30yo male earning 8k a month. I am aware that is not a bad number.

But I know people in tech sector who earn like 15k-30k even in their early 30s. That is something people in my sector earn at director level in their 40s…

Now I understand tech jobs are well paying for a reason but the gap still baffles me sometimes. A lot of my friends quit their non-tech job to learn coding to join tech.

I wonder if that is something all of us should be doing, given such a big gap between tech pay and the rest.

Netizens’ comments

• You know the ppl who’s earning 15-30k in early 30s, meaning u know them personally or just hearsay? Basically the harder the role, the more niche it is to find the right skill sets and hence the higher pay you get. Go and ask the person earning 30k a month what role he’s doing. It’s not just learning coding and jump into tech industry and hey presto you will earn such high pay. 
• Maybe i have a different opinion but this is what i think. It will never be enough for you once you keep comparing others salary. I’ll be more than happy if i have ur pay knowing how much i can pay the bills n stuffs and still can save a good amount. But its up to you if you feel you deserves a better salary. They also may have skills and experience that you havent acquired.

does being flat chested means i am bound to get criticised?

context: Recently, a couple of my guy friends made a joke about how flat I was right in my face. But, at that moment I didn’t know how to react so I just pretended like I didn’t hear it even though I felt like breaking down so badly.

I know having a big chest is attractive to many guys but what’s wrong with being flat-chested? why do people have to point them out? does being flat-chested matter so much??

What am I supposed to do in the future if they make such an insensitive joke about me again… I feel the need to stand up for myself yet again I feel like they are just stating the facts so is it just my fault that I can deal with criticism and my insecurities?

Netizens’ comments

• mean people will just find anything to criticize you, doesn’t even have to be about chest size
• Nothing wrong with you lah, its normal to feel like shit when ppl talk about you like that. Its not a bad thing to be flat, and its not a good think to be curvy, it just is what it is.
• Idk if they’re just trying to pull your leg in a “bro” way but just tell them that it made you uncomfortable and i guarantee they wont do it again. If they do, its probably time to find some new friends.

Generally, I find that Malaysian gals seems to be of better calibre than our local ones.

Firstly, they are hardworking. Most of these ladies who I know dont mind working overtime or help to cover the duties of those who are on leave.

Most of the time, they are the last to leave the workplace based on my observation. On the other hand, the locals are usually the first to zao, even before 6pm.

Secondly, even for those who do not have the opportunity for higher education and end up doing sales in shopping malls, they are usually quite friendly and polite to customers. They understand basic etiquette, unlike some local staff, full of snobbish attitude.

Moreover, they seem to be better looking even without makeup, compared to the local ones with thick fake lashes. They know how to dress up and are demure, compared to the local boorish ones.

Figure-wise, they are more petite and slim, hence are suitable for local guys. Most of the local ones I know do not know how to take good care of their body and have a high BMI. They may be relatively taller, but the horizontal aspect remains questionable…

Could diet and culture play an important role in explaining this big discrepancy?

Friend borrowed money but did not return it

About 3 years ago, I received a call from a friend in a religious organisation in the east of Singapore that I am part of for many years.

She say that she is in urgent need of financial help for her brother.

Out of kindness, I decided to loan her and her husband a sum of money. She promised she will return back to me but till now, I did not heard or received any repayment back from them. Initially my thought was that maybe they really need some time to pay me back.

But after gathering some information and was chatting with some friends, I was terribly shocked that they actually borrowed from quite a few others too. To make me even more upset, I found out that they owned 2 properties. A Condo and and a HDB!

I felt disgusted every time the husband who works there was on stage or went out eating with the Senior Leader of that organisation. They act like as if nothing happen. I don’t see them making an effort to even talk to us or make plans for repayment. Why won’t the religious organisation discipline him and made them repay all of us? Are they protecting him? This couple have 2 properties that could fetch millions. They can just sell it and return all our money!

I felt stumbled by all of them. I am not wealthy, was there to help them when they are in need but now? When I need some cash, I can’t even get back a single cent.

What should I do?

Financial advice needed for a near 40 year old

I’m 38 and my husband is 40. I take home around $4500 , whilst my husband around $5800, both after cpf deductions. Staying in a 5 room hdb resale flat. We have 2 kids, one 3 years old and one 10 months old. My husband takes care of the childcare fees , enrichment classes, utilities bills and kids insurance.

Below is my monthly spendings:

1. Stocks and savings plan: $800

2. Allowance for my own Parents: $1400 ($700 each parent)

3. Insurance: $100

4. Internet and phone bills: $100

My credit card bills racks up to between $1500-$2000 or over per month, making me unable to save up anything or even eat into my savings. The bills include transport fees, eating out, groceries, buying toys , clothes for the whole family.

My husband and I do not have any joint account, we keep our finances separate. Until now I have in total about $100k worth of assets and savings (including the stocks and savings plan worth), but only $15k is available as immediate emergency funds.

I know I am very blessed already with a job and a roof over my head. Cutting down on the allowance for my parents is a big no as they are both not working and I’m the main pillar of their source of income. But I would like to know by the age of 40, what is a healthy amount of savings one should have? Any advice on how do one increase their savings, especially being the sandwich generation.

Thank you for your time reading this! Have a great day ahead.

Discovered recently that my spouse cheated on me on two separate occasions this year. Both eventually led to scams, which is probably why it didn’t get physical but for the second occasion, he had been making plans to meet with the girl and had lied to me about it, telling me he was meeting his friends.

1st time – i actually discovered this earlier this year when I discovered that he had been scammed. he told me a version of the story back then, which was that his cloud got hacked and he got blackmailed with a video that he took of himself in a compromising position for himself.

Found out that this was not the truth. he had been flirting with a girl who chatted him up on Facebook. it led to a video call where they were going to watch each other showering etc. he said it didn’t go further than him stripping and showing his junk cos the video call got cut off for blackmail.

2nd time – discovered this recently when i saw him chatting with someone i did not recognize on whatsapp and i asked him who that was, then he told me what happened. he had been chatting/flirting with someone who approached him first on facebook, on whatsapp.

briefly scrolled through the messages, he mentioned to this person that he was married but can be “friends”. however continued to flirt and sending pics of himself (selfies etc). he also lied to me that he was going to meet his friends but had intended to meet her. eventually he did not, since scammers dont meet, and he got scammed by one of those job referral type scams.

to me, this is clearly cheating. but he did not admit to cheating until days later, just said that he was wrong according to my standards. also, he did not tell me the entire truth about the 1st time (said it was a guy, but after i asked him if this was true, he admitted it was not and it had been a girl). he says he is sorry and wants to work things out.

other info: he is diagnosed with depression for about 3-4 years now. we do not have kids and i am not financially dependant on him.

i am not sure if i should give him a chance, right now i’m about 50/50. any advice appreciated

I just recently found out I’m pregnant, and while I was happy about it, my partner not as much so.

Around 3 months ago we had the talk to go off the pill and he was happy about it, but about 2 week before I found out I was pregnant, he expressed his concern about not being able to be there during the pregnancy and maybe even childbirth. He has said he wants to be there from start to finish.

But seeing as he’s from the UK and I’m from Singapore and we aren’t able to close the distance at earliest April-July next year, he could potentially miss a lot of it.

We have talked about having kids before and it’s something we both want, he just want to wait till we have closed the distance. I feel really upset that he waited this long to tell me he changed his mind when we were lowkey trying for months now (we meet at least once a month) and I’m scared it might affect our relationship if we go through with abortion as I’ve always wanted children, especially more now that I’m about to reach my 30s.

Have anyone been through anything similar? Any advice about how to proceed will be very appreciated.

Here are what netizens think:

• The horse has already left the barn, but what on earth were you thinking?

• I’m confused….. but you’ve already decided to start conceiving actively? What was the reasoning behind that?

• why cant you close the distance? seems like he wanted it and you mutually agreed for you to go off the pill. he should be stepping up now, and working to close it and be there to support you and his future child

• It sounds like it wasn’t thought through very well to start trying for a child when you’re in long distance and knowing you still have some time to wait before you can close it.

Hi Everyone, I am a 55-year-old working as Senior Management at a European MNC in SG.

I reckon I have another 5-9 years of work left in me, but would happily retire today if I get the chance to vest my current stock compensation.

My only issue is I am not in the financial services industry and have had very little success in investing, usually leading to negligible or negative returns over the years.

Would love your advice on where to invest my remaining income or reorganize my portfolio towards. All numbers in SGD.

Property: 1 apartment that I live in with my family valued at around 7M. 1 investment property bought in 2016 in Marina Bay valued at around 4M, yielding about 100k in rental a year.

Overseas Property: 1 land, valued around 1.1M, but selling would mean 30% tax.

Personal Stock portfolio: 1.85M, but have incurred massive losses, almost down 1M from the peak.

Private Bank Portfolio: 4M, fairly diversified and has yielded 2-5% a year, but so far this year it is negative. I have only started using my PB significantly over the last 1.5 years.

Unvested Stock: 3M, fluctuates quite a bit with the stock price. To be vested over the course of the next 3 years.

Debt: I’ve got about 2M mortgage for my 2nd investment property. Fixed interest rate, not really a big problem

Income: Depending on the year and the stock price, anywhere from 2M-3M, pretax.

The rest I would consider liabilities or non assets like art, jewelry or cars and wouldn’t have an impact. I have 3 children who are studying in the UK or Australia and have almost finished their education so they are not much of a financial burden anymore.

Currently our spend is about 10k a month and 20k+ when is gets pretty expensive, like holidays and stuff.

My goal for retirement is to do something I enjoy and travel the world with my partner, at the same level we already do (Business class, 5 star hotels, restaurants).

I would appreciate some advice, no idea is a bad idea would love to consider all options to invest.

PS. I have asked my PB but they all have a incentive to just sell me products as it’s a commission based business.