My girlfriend( 24F) says it’s disrespectful and demeaning that I (26M) bought a $900 suit while she is struggling to pay rent.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now. Overal our relationship has been great and we enjoy being together. We both are independent and have our own careers and jobs.

I work as an engineer and make significantly more than my girlfriend does who works as an accountant. I live in a condo by myself. My girlfriend lives with a friend of her’s in an apartment and they split rent and bills.

I always take initiative to pay for activities (like diners) we do as a couple because I’m doing better financially and I’m the man in the relationship.

I don’t mind taking the financial “burden” in our relationship. My salary allows me to enjoy luxuries in my life while still being able to save a good amount every month.

My girlfriend on the other hand spends most of her paycheck on rent because her job doesn’t really match the cost of living well. But she always manages to get around and figure it out by herself.

I respect her independence and won’t interfere with it if she doesn’t explicitly ask me. If she was every in a dire situation where she wouldn’t be able to make rent, I would gladly help her if she asked me.

My brother’s wedding is coming up and I needed a new suit. The past 2 years have been the first years I could say that I actually had a good amount of money for myself.

Before this I never really bought expensive stuff because I couldn’t afford it. Now that I can afford it, I want to be able to enjoy it. So since it was my brother’s wedding I wanted to go all out on myself for once. So I bought a $900 designer suit that I love.

When I showed my girlfriend the suit and told her the price after she asked for it she got mad at me. She says that me buying an expensive suit like this is disrespectful and demeaning towards her because I know she can’t afford luxuries like this and that she can barely make rent while I’m buying a suit that costs about as much.

I first thought that she meant that she wouldn’t be able to make rent so I offered to help her out but apparently she will be able to make it and she says that this is just a disrespectful gesture of me and that I’m not considering how she feels.

She said that I shouldn’t have bought it out of respect for her. I’m a very caring person in general but something I’ll never accept is someone telling me what I can and can’t buy with my own money, so I told her that what I buy with my money isn’t her decision.

I already pay for most things in our relationship so I don’t see why I can’t spend the rest of my money on things that I want.

This led to her starting a huge argument going back and forth. I tried o communicate with her but she kept going on about how disrespectful this was of me so I just ended up leaving.

We haven’t spoken for a day now and don’t really know how to continue from here on out.

Buying a condo without an agent, but seller’s agent seem to ignore me — advice needed

Recently I reached out to one agent and arrange to view a unit in a condo. I knew that this condo had many problems with quality, hence during the viewing I asked a few questions to verify what I’ve heard, to which the seller’s agent appeared to try to dodge.

After the viewing, I tried to arrange for another viewing; we want to determine if the quality issues affect this house — since the unit has plus points for us, if these are not real issues, we may even make an offer.

But the seller’s agent keeps delaying in arranging my viewing, and usually ignore my message until I nudge her.

I know that seller’s agents usually prefer to sell to someone without a buyer’s agent since they would get to keep the entire commission. I made it clear that I’m on my own.

Could the agent thinks that I’m a tire kicker kind of buyer who is just wasting her time? I have an IPA and prepared to make an offer for the right house.

Or could she think that it’s too troublesome to deal with me since I know too much? It might be easier to work with a less-informed buyer?

[Update] Or could it be that there are some more serious defects in the unit, as some Redditors pointed out below?

I’m trying to give her the benefit of doubt, but if she’s not a very forthright person, then I don’t know if I should move forward even if I like the unit?

If she keeps avoiding arranging the next viewing for me, what are my options? What would you do?

I have been working for a few years now and am thinking of pursuing further studies, both to slow down in life and to add new skills.

I am undecided on whether I should be studying something that I really like but may not make me more marketable than before, and studying something in line with the skills in demand, which I neither dislike or am passionate about.

Fees for masters or post-grad studies are really not cheap. Coupled with the income loss in the sabbatical year, its a decision that needs to be carefully deliberated.

Netizens’ comments

1. So have you decided on the career path yet or are you still discovering and learning about yourself? If is the former, I think the answer is obvious what you gonna do next. If it is the latter which I think you belong to that, I don’t think it is worth spending money and time on further studies until you understand yourself better on what you really want to do in your life.
   • I am still in the exploratory stage. But how long should this phase last? Entering into 30s soon, which is a time that I think is the phase of life to be in a industry to deep specialise. But I don’t seem to know enough of a world out of my current job (with the organisation since graduation).
     I am personally interested in psychology, particularly clinical psychology and mental health related issues. But I do not have a psychology background and I am not sure how much job opportunities are there in this field since it is quite a mature field.
2. I’m of the opinion that whatever you study if you have a few employable skills you’ll never have trouble making money. If anything it’s easier to find a high paying niche.
   I did a diploma in mass comm at a poly, then a degree in computer science at an Australian uni and now I’m doing a part-time MSc. in neuroscience at NTU out of interest. I’ve worked in ed-tech startups, private education institutions, and a corporate consultancy in mixed roles requiring a mix of technical and management expertise.
   I also recommend doing your masters part-time while having a job because the slower pace will not only allow you to consolidate what you learn better but you’ll have more time to think of applying it in your career. It’ll also be easier on finances.
   For example, I’m doing a module now on using neural networks to understand brain activity and because I’m only taking 1 module a semester I can take a udacity course on machine learning to implement neural networks on the side to supplement my learning and turn what I learn into a more employable skill.
   Lifelong learning and being able to guide your own learning to get the type of employment you want is going to an essential skill going forward so think about your interests, aptitudes and the kind of employment situation you want before selecting a path of learning for yourself. The local unis here are offering micro masters pathways now too so look into that and try out a course first if you’re not sure.

Growing old together or Growing up together

Is it common for me to have no more admiration towards my husband anymore?

i feel that i am constantly upgrading & improving myself in terms of knowledge and body physique but he is still behaving like the boy i met 15 years ago, playing games and earning 2k per month.

“Where is the nail clipper?”

“Where is the toilet paper?”

“Where is the laptop charger?”

He is lazy. All these things are kept at the same place since day one. He knows where but is just too lazy to move his ass to go get them himself.

“A good relationship is when both of you grow and improve together” Apparently i am the only one growing and improving, to a point that i think i can do almost everything myself.

I used to think that he is humorous but his jokes are no longer funny to me now. I used to think that he is self-motivated because he kept telling me about his dreams and aspirations when we were dating.. but now he tells me that a 2k salary is enough for a family of 3.

Usually the wife will look up to her husband like as if he is her universe right? Like a hero who protects the family… but he has nothing for me to look up to.

In fact, i am starting to despise him already. I used harsh words like “parasite” “stupid” and “useless” on him hoping that he can wake up but sad to say it does not affect him at all.

“Useless then useless loh. The most useful person in the world is you.” Thats what he said. He said that i have changed. Yes i admit, but it is definitely for the better.

Seeing him irks me so much.. i rejected all his sexual advances.

Need some advice on how to motivate a spouse who is delusional and lazy? Divorce is not an option now as we have a kid that is only 3 years old.

How common is to get scammed on tinder by men?

I have been talking to a guy for almost two weeks, he apparently is 32, he’s really handsome to be real. He told me, we will do many things in the future but has not asked me out yet. And he even thought I was fake.

Yeah he tells he works a lot, I don’t know if it’s customary in Singapore to talk for some time online and then meet in person?

I search for his pictures on google and didn’t find them and also I search by his name on Instagram and Facebook and nothing.

He told me the following once which came off as weird to me!

“My hobbies are sports and fitness, listening to music, reading, and occasionally cooking my favorite dishes. At the time that suits my vacation, I choose to travel and see the beautiful things in the world.

Now that I am busy with work every day, I will still take time to observe and analyze the trend of USDT, because my parents and I bought a freehold house here, and our savings are almost exhausted, and my parents are retired.

So the rest of the assets are given to my parents, and it is enough for them to live without worries in their later years.

I am now equal to a new beginning, so am studying USDT every day, and the return it brings me is considerable”

I mean who the hell talks about USDT to a girl?

Netizens’ comments

• Yeah it’s obviously a scam. Most likely a China individual google translating to English too
  • The person has a Singapore number; we communicate over WhatsApp
    • Yeah they have to use a Singapore number as part of the scam, otherwise it would be too obvious. Their preference is usually to speak in Chinese, but when I faced such a scammer before and forced them to communicate in English, they just google translate (it’s quite obvious with the sentence structuring
    • yeah kena also. the sg number is fake one